Revelation

Kadic Academy, Monday morning, 8 am. The gang was gathered at Aelita's room, except Jeremy of course, to figure out how to handle their current situation. Jeremy was still at the Hermitage, Aelita was only genius available and others wondered why Jeremy is avoiding them. Just when Odd was starting a conversation, his phone rang. "Jeremy? Is that you? Okay, be right there." Jeremy wants to see me alone. Just me, no one else." Odd told the others. "You'd better go then. Oh, and try to knock some sense into him if you can" William told him. "I'll try my best, but no promises," Odd answered. After he left, a loud beeping sound occupied the room. "What's that sound?" Ulrich asked. Aelita went to check her laptop. "The security bypass program I set up to the supercomputer finally cracked Jeremy's private files me and Yumi found earlier." She replied. "We'd better go to the factory to see what this is about. I hate to say it aloud, but I think Jeremy is starting to break or worse unless we find a way to snap him out of his self-hatred. This can't continue much longer" Yumi suggested.

At the Hermitage…

"What did you want to see me for?" Odd Asked Jeremy. "I thought about your offer. Ask me what comes to your mind and I try to answer best I can, okay?" Jeremy explained to Odd. "Okay. First thing I'd like to know is why are you avoiding us? You did some questionable things back in the day, but despite all that, you still helped us more than anyone. We're lucky to have a friend like who cares about us and puts our safety above everything. I really mean it, we all do." Odd continued. "The whole gang is worried about you. Ever since you told us you leave the gang; our team spirit has weakened." He finished and allowed Jeremy to think a response. "Main reason for my recent behavior was fear. Fear that you would hold grudge against me after the incidents, where I tried new tactics at the expense of your safety. Like your fight with Yolanda, for example." Jeremy replied. "Other is Franz Hopper." Odd was puzzled after hearing that Hopper was one reason. He couldn't figure out why. "Why him?" he asked Jeremy, hoping he would give him details. "You saw how broken she was after we lost Franz. How much worse do I have to make her feel by telling her I might have had a way to save him?" Jeremy replied. "Actually, you are hurting her right now because of your absence." Odd calmly countered. "You mentioned you might've had a way to safe Franz. Can you tell me about it?" He continued. "Before X.A.N.A. escaped, I was designing a power converter of sorts, mainly as a side project in case we would need one. But ever since its attacks became more dangerous, I never had time to finish my creation. And because of that, Hopper is dead. She lost her father, one of two people she holds dear. And for what? My incapability of multitasking!" Jeremy yelled, releasing anger he's been bottling up. "You're wrong, Jeremy. For what you told me, it seems that Franz would be here if you could've finished your converter. I'm not denying that, but Aelita's parents aren't the only ones she holds dear, you also belong in that group." Odd replied after a brief silence. "She deserves better than me. You all deserve better than a friend who plays with your health. You of all people should know that." Jeremy countered. "Before I go, there's one thing I'd like to know," Odd said. "Others are at the factory right now. They said something about a program that would crack a bunch of files you had locked away. What's in them?" Odd curiously asked. Jeremy's face went completely pale and he started twitching. "They're about to find out everything I told you! Odd, you have to go there and stop them. By any means if necessary, now go!" Jeremy told him. Without a further word, Odd darted out of the Hermitage.

At the factory…

"Jeremy really is good when it comes to hiding things, but not good enough. Don't let him know I said that though, he might feel even worse." Said Aelita. Others observed her as she browsed through the folder they managed to crack, only to find his latest diary entries. A moment later Odd arrived at the lab. "What did I miss?" He asked the group. "We're just beginning to read Jeremy's latest diary entries. Maybe they help us figure out why he's acting like this." Ulrich answered him.

"Diary update, X.A.N.A.'s destruction. There's no simple way to put this, but I think we won. Although I wouldn't call it a victory at all. X.A.N.A. is gone, but the price was too high: Franz Hopper's life. I began to think would our situation have been different if we would've brought William to Lyoko with us. I could've been open to the idea but since everyone was against it, I didn't suggest it. It doesn't matter anymore. I thought about any other solutions that could've prevented this disaster. Then I decided to check my computer for any programs I created whenever I had enough spare time. I then came across my still unfinished power converter I designed as a tool should our resources be limited during missions. Because of X.A.N.A.'s growing aggressiveness, I didn't have time to finish it. But none of that matters now. Others don't have to worry about X.A.N.A. anymore and can continue their normal lives. I just hope I still have a place in them. What can I bring to the table? Nothing, except answers for Odd in mathematics. I don't want anyone to know about this entry, especially Aelita. I can't afford to lose her because of my incompetence. My previous mistakes were fixed, but this time there's no going back. I wasn't good enough and now she has to suffer the consequences. This failure is unforgivable. It did hurt a lot when she blamed me for her father's death, but I deserved it. She had every right to release her anger on me. Only thing I'm wondering is why others aren't blaming me as well. Had I been good enough, the whole group would still have reasons to be my friends. I should've known that it wouldn't last, only if I could do something to make her feel better, but I'm out of options. I sincerely hope others have a better time consoling her. She's my guardian angel, kept me together during the war, made everything worth it. All my sacrifices, just so I could give her life back. Everything without any kind of reward. Having her around was reward enough for me. And now I lose her. I'm not sure if I can hold myself together after she's gone." Jeremy finished his entry with rivers flowing from his eyes.

Everyone in the room gasped in horror. "I had no idea it was this bad." William pointed out. "Damn… He's afraid we leave from his life" Yumi said in shock. "Jeremy's broken. He's afraid I blame him for everything that has happened to me and leave him alone. But doesn't he realize that without him I wouldn't be here in the first place or have friends like you? Jeremy has been like a father to me ever since he found the supercomputer, he's put me above anything he had, sacrificed his health just to fix my problems." Aelita confessed, earning large smiles from others. "We have to go to the Hermitage. Jeremy needs us" Odd exclaimed. They all agreed and left the factory.

Few hours later the gang arrived, only to find Jeremy curled up at the corner of the room. "Jeremy, can you hear us?" Yumi asked, snapping him awake from his nightmare. "Yumi? You scared me!" Jeremy yelled, surprised to find the whole group standing before him. "Sorry. We wanted to see how you are doing." She replied. "That's not the only reason you're here now is it?" Jeremy asked with a bitter voice. "You need to forgive yourself. Without you, we wouldn't be who we are, and I wouldn't be here. Your efforts to give me life and fix my problems paid off. You saved me from my virtual prison. You are everything I could ever ask for and more. Please don't beat yourself up after what happened to my father. I don't blame you for it, none of us do. I'm sorry I blamed you for what he did, but we are lost without you, I'M LOST without you. You've suffered enough already, please come back to us!" Aelita begged. "I'd like to, but I'm not good enough for you, no one's good enough" Jeremy replied. "That's not true!" Odd countered. "Good friend doesn't consciously put others' lives at danger or leave them in it. Take Yumi, for example, she almost fell into Digital Sea because of me. Then there are you and Ulrich. Both of you nearly got vaporized with the Skid. Without Aelita, you would be dead!" Jeremy yelled. "Laura was better than me on many occasions!" Odd shrugged. "It's true that Laura were occasionally better than you. However, if a team member can't be trusted, the whole team is screwed. That's what happened with Laura. She is a prime example of solo player. And because of her, we almost lost William again." They arrived at an impasse. It seemed there was no way to convince Jeremy with words so Aelita resorted to heavier weapons. She kneeled before him and embraced him hoping she would get through to him with physical contact. At first, he resisted but it didn't take long before his walls started to crumble, and he started sobbing. He didn't think he deserved the support his friends were offering but couldn't help but feel better after their reassurances. "Thank you. You really are something else" Jeremy whispered in her ear. "Feeling's mutual" Came the equally silent reply.

"All right guys, I'll come back to the group," Jeremy told them. "REALLY?" They all asked in unison. "Yes, I do" He simply replied. "I'm sorry for the pain I put you all through, I really didn't realize I was needed that much after everything I did. Did you really mean everything you said about me, despite my failures?" Jeremy's doubts kicked in as he asked others to convince him that they really cared about him. "You're only a human. It means you will succeed and you will fail. We apologize if we gave you the impression we expected you to be something more. Ever since you left, tension in our group has grown. It's true, without you the gang will never be the same. All we ask is that you would believe in yourself and accept the fact that your value to us can't be measured." Yumi reasoned with Jeremy. For a while, he didn't say anything. "Are you ready to go, Jeremy?" Aelita asked him. "I think so" Came a cold reply. He stood up and motioned others to follow him. As soon as everyone was out, Jeremy decided to check his laptop, only to find circled red exclamation point. "Still nothing!" He said with noticeable anger. "What were you working on?" William asked. "Upgrades for your arsenal. It doesn't hurt to have every bit of edge when you go against Tyron." Jeremy replied. "Considering the emotional torment you've been through, it wouldn't hurt to take a break." Yumi offered. "I'll suppose you're right. Keep in mind though that if I can't figure out the problem, fighting his ninjas will be harder. I'd better head back to the dorms" He said before leaving towards Kadic. "Better follow him and make sure he really goes to Kadic rather than take his word for it. I hate doing this to him, but he doesn't leave us any choice." Aelita suggested. "Go after him, we'll catch up with you later. Maybe you'll be able to get inside his head better when we're not around." Ulrich replied.

Jeremy didn't get very far when he heard a voice calling him. "Jeremy, wait up!" Yelled Aelita as she caught him. "Do you mind if I keep you company?" She asked him. "Of course not, go ahead," Jeremy replied calmly. They walked in silence until they arrived at the forest. "There's still something that's bothering you isn't there?" Aelita decided to ask him after debating with herself. "What makes you say that?" Jeremy asked slightly confused, trying his best to hide his current feelings but ultimately failing at it. "It's apparent in many ways. You're awfully quiet and your breathing is heavier and faster. So, I ask you again, what's wrong?" Aelita countered. "Why do you forgive me so easily? After everything I put you through?" Jeremy asked coldly. "You lost your father because of me! He was your everything!" Jeremy replied with rage. Aelita was surprised. She never thought Jeremy would take Hopper's death this badly. "I still have you, don't I? I already told you why, back at the Hermitage. So, I tell you again; Your efforts of fixing my problems, bringing me to Earth and most importantly finding the supercomputer. Without any of those, I wouldn't know you or be here. When you told us you leave, it became harder and harder to concentrate. I even lashed out to some of our friends because I couldn't figure out why you were bottling up your feelings." She replied, hoping Jeremy would be able to move on. "You may not think very highly of yourself, but in our eyes (and especially mine), you're much more than you think. Others know the risks that come with the fight, but they can't do it without you, none of us can. We want to help you, but you must let us. I know it's going to take some time. All I ask is that you try allow us to come closer and talk to us if something bothers you." For a while, Jeremy didn't say anything. He just stood still, contemplating what he just heard. "Do they really care about me that much?" Jeremy wondered. "They care. In fact, they're hurt because of how lowly you think of yourself." Confidence told him. "They don't. If they would, they would've said so earlier. And besides, they're not here, are they?" Doubt answered to him, feeding his fears. "He's wrong. She's right next to you, isn't she? Others are probably coming to see how you're doing. All you have to do is trust them and they'll be there for you when you need them." Confidence countered. After long moment of hard thinking and painful silence, Jeremy finally spoke up. "All right. I'll try to let you in from now on." Aelita looked at him, disbelieved. Her arduous work of breaking him out of his self-loathing was finally paying off. "Really? That's wonderful!" She practically yelled with happiness. "Do you have any idea how great it is to have you back!" Jeremy didn't say anything, just grinned at her enthusiasm. "They really care…" He thought to himself as he kept watching her.

A few hours later, rest of the gang were gathered at the vending machines waiting for Jeremy and Aelita to arrive. Ulrich and Yumi were training martial arts while Odd and William were talking about his achievements as a Kadic's player. William was about to interrupt Odd when his phone rang. "Aelita? We're at the vending machines. Where are you? Really, that's great! I'll tell the others." William motioned Ulrich and Yumi to come closer. "They're coming here. Aelita managed to break Jeremy's defenses. Our Einstein is his old self again!" He happily announced. "Fantastic! How she did it?" Others said in unison. "She didn't tell, but I have a theory…" William began before he was interrupted by Aelita's voice. "There you are. How long you waited for us?" She asked. "We've been here for a few hours," William replied. "Guys…" Jeremy tried to speak but found it rather difficult for reasons unknown. As soon as they heard his voice, everyone quiet down. "I had my doubts whether you really cared about me or not, but after today's events, it became clear that I was wrong. You do care, even more, than I imagined. I don't know what I did to deserve friends like you, but whatever it is, I thank you all for tolerating me, even in times like these." Jeremy finished his train of thought. " Don't mention it. We also have to thank you." Ulrich replied. "For what exactly?" Jeremy countered. "For finding the supercomputer. Without it and you, we wouldn't have ever met each other. Our bond is like no other." Yumi replied. "I think that's something we all can agree on, even though some of us had a rough start," William added. "I think we should go and get some rest. I want to bring my A-game when we go up against X.A.N.A. and Tyron, maybe even finish your avatar upgrades tomorrow morning." Jeremy suggested enthusiastically. "That's the Jeremy we know and love, some of us more than others," Odd said suggestively while grinning at Aelita. "Jeremy has a good point. We all should get some rest." Aelita said before heading towards her room. Soon Jeremy, followed by Ulrich and Odd, headed to their respective rooms. After Jeremy closed his door, it didn't take long before sleep overwhelmed him, and he fell to his bed. For once, Jeremy fell asleep with a smile on his face.