Author's note: holla bitchez, it's me again! Back again with chapter 4. Just to recap: Draco is a vampire, vampires can't be killed except with a 'steak' in the heart, draco slit his wrists (a common theme) and died either way because fuck your rules, everyone's gutted, Enoby flooded the slytherin dorm and killed them all and now 'vampire' has got a vision that draco and voldy are having wild kinky sex, while he was doing the do with enoby in the middle of Hogwart's equivalent to a Level 2 hair and beauty course. Ok we're all caught up, let's fuckin do this.
Enjoy xx
Chapter 13.
AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom!lmao same babez I don't blame you. Although 2006 Gerard was a bit uhm for me, maybe present day version would be better PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!
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Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared. They somehow found stairs in the middle of the grounds that lead straight to Dumbledore. Yep.
"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there. If you say Dumbledore twice, he will appear. Someone should have told Harry this in books 5&6.
"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily. 'despicable snobs' isn't that the movie with the talking yellow butt plugs?
"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.
He laughed in an evil voice. In an evil voice. You could have literally just written that he cackled or something, or laughed manically but no.
"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged. Aye Dumbledore, stop fuckin laughing, mon we've gotta go save my boyfriend even though these two were just fucking in the middle of level 2 hair and beauty.
"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony."yeah, remember when draco raped enoby in chapter 1? Cos everyone but fucking enoby does. he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." LMAO someone slipped Dumbledore some veritaserum during dinner. I bet it was mcgonagell, she seems like she'd do it for a laugh. then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned.i am so confused on who's fucking dating who. Initially it was draco and enoby and then harry and enoby, now draco and harry are a thing again? I mean im not complaining but when did this happen? (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)oh great now we're fetishising gays. How original.
"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Ok this is a fucking epidemic CAN SOMEONE GET THIS SHIT LOOKED AT. Also, is harry a vampire? I know he's called vampire because he likes blood but I just assumed he had a fuckin blood kink or something. Did she say he was? I don't remember.Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed. Everything we know about harry tells us that his ideas never fucking work out.
"What?" I asked him.
"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair! HAS NO ONE READ HOGWARTS: A HISTORY? YOU CAN'T LEAVE HOGWARTS USING MAGIC GOD DAMN IT. I understand hermione's struggle now.
We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!"totally a real spell
It was….. Voldemort! I mean you're in his 'lair' was that suspense really fucking needed? I'd more surprised if it was Molly Weasley.
Chapter 14.
AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists.hahahahahahahahhahaha wow. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!
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WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. And yet we were not warned about the rapes, mentions of depression, self harm and suicide. But hey, if it's scary, stick a warning in.
We ran to where Volcemort was. Yeah harry conveniently has a map for that too. ALSO IF HARRY COULD JUST FUCKIN DO A SPELL AND END UP WHERE VOLDEMORT WAS, WHY THE FUCK IS HARRY NOT DEAD ALREADY? Like come on, with all the temper issues harry had, if he could magically appear in front of Voldemort he would have tried it numerous times and Voldemort would have killed him in like book 2. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Better luck next time. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Hey wormtail's here, waddup my dude. And cedric makes an appearance. Didn't she say in previous chapter that he loved her? Whatever. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Really need to get that looked at Snaketail is that wormtail's final form or something? was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail. And were tortured.
"Rid my sight you despicable preps!"….. what. What do I say to that? What is there to say? Lets move on. he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun who the fuck brings a gun to a wand fight? Also 'we' started shooting? Did you both hold the gun? he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. Oh boy. "EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok) so romantic. Also why are we changing wormtail's age? What aspect of him is hot? And if he's magically 16, that takes away the entire complexity of his story and character.
"Huh?" I asked.
"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. He has literally never met this waste of oxygen before in his life, seriously mate, run while you can.
"What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. These two have never once established if they were dating or not. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain. Okaaayy.
"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. He just got stabbed in the heart, bitch he's not moving anywhere. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly. ? I thought she hated him? I'm lost.
"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. He dead as fuck mate. Then… he started coming! That is a mental image I really could have gone my whole life without. We could hear his high heels clacking to us.Voldemort's trying out for season 10 of RuPaul's Drag Race (shout out to my babe Adore Delano, she's the best). So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. No one has mentioned draco at all since they got there. Did they just magically appear, kill wormtail, then pull broomsticks out of their asses and fly away? We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying. This bitch cries a lot. Did they rescue draco or not?
"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything. Apparently they did. And he has a 'sex' pack. He's 17 and something tells me draco doesn't go to the gym. Chances are he's just really skinny. Also at this point in books is draco not described as being extremely sickly looking and skeletal? Cos, you know, his family is being held hostage by Voldemort and he's been forced to join the death eaters. I do love how this bitch is crying her eyes out and he's trying to fuck her, like that's the most accurate portrayal of a 17 year old boy ever.
"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly you are though. or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything." Yes. Every single girl is ugly. Out of the hundreds that attend Hogwarts, only 2 are nice looking. Of course.
"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco. And now we're slut shaming. The concept of teenage boys not liking sluts has always confused me, cos they usually just want to fuck, so if they know someone else likes to fuck, why would they not want to fuck her? It makes no sense. As a sidenote, sluts are great, virgins are great, everyone's great. To quote nicki minaj "fuck who you want, and fuck who you like" get it gurl. Or don't. whatever makes you happy #nohate.
"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me since when? Has this been said? I was under the impression harry was gay and in love with draco. and now even Snaketail is in love with me! Well wormtail's dead, cos you literally just killed him, so I don't think he should be counted. Also why is this an issue? I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" ding ding, I was right, tara meant Satanist as in devil worshipper. SATANISM AND DEVIL WORSHIP ARE VERY DIFFERENT THINGS IM JUST SAYING. Seriously. A quick google search, tells you all you need to know. Also, come on bitch, genetics depict how you look, not a random deity of your choosing. I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) my nan tells me I'm pretty "Im good at too many things! Im gonna need examples. WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" most do consider vampirism to be a curse. I shouted and then I ran away. TO FUCKING WHERE? You were in your room, where else are you going to go damn it!
Chapter 15.
AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! She's dead as fuck now. fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!
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"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!" bitch nah, let her go.
But I was too mad. I thought she was sad? Why is now mad? Have I missed something?
"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!" why does she keep saying they're having sex? They haven't once in this entire story? ALSO SHE'S THE ONE THAT CHEATED WITH HARRY?! I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key.you literally just left your room, and draco is in your room. And who has a 'blood red' key? It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. What did? Your key? He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. Uhm. If draco and harry look like Marilyn Manson, I'm fucking leaving. That's horrifying. I started to cry and weep. She does that a LOT. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. She does that a lot too, fuck sake. Does she have super healing? Cos otherwise why has she not fucking cut her arms off? Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. Biology. Hogwarts does biology now. They also offer GCSE and A Levels. And class still just happens whenever.
I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. Hogwarts still has a uniform. I put my ebony black hair out. Please stop describing colours with colours. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. Same I did sum advanced Biology work.who teaches biology? I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. What? What fucking biology class is this? Was she doodling it, is that what she means? Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco! Im gonna say no, also that just defies all magical laws.
"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. Didn't he kill himself like two chapters ago?I fucking love you!. When did they ever break up? When did they ever get together?" Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death"this song came out in 2004 and has no romantic aspect at all. (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it im assuming that ended when draco raped you after) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) . how do you get your voice to be gothic? And draco is never going to live that down. Never bet against zabini, is what this fic is telling me. And who the fuck is chester and pierre? How does your voice end up a cross between 5 fucking people, who all have VERY different sounds?
"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them. Yeah no fucking wonder they were staring, they're in the middle of fucking biology in HOGWARTS a MAGIC school and draco Malfoy just made a twat out of himself, literally right after running around naked after this crazy bitch. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. In the middle of an American football game, in California, outside, in the rain? Have you ever been to Scotland? Then we went away holding hands.you are in class, no you didn't. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. This is like that tumblr meme "and then everyone started clapping". Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. Yeah my chemical romance, that doesn't form until 2001, and from a quick google search, doesn't come to the UK until December 2002 (This fic takes place in 1998, don't forget), conveniently happened to be Hogsmeade RIGHT THEN and you manage to get tickets and go. Right there and then. Man I wish that would happen with me and BIGBANG.
Chapter 16.
AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! Yeah man, fuck raven. BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese! Oh god, is there going to be Japanese im gonna fuckin kill myself.
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We ran happily to Hogsmede. They ran the whole way. Fuck draco's flying ford Mondeo. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly.you saw the stage from outside, ok. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. You've missed like half the concert ffs. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. what. just. what. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets.they ran straight from her 'biology' class to this concert. When did she change? Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched.you know who makes out in the middle of concerts? Dicks. No one wants to see that. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. And got fucked out of the place by security bye. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. Gerard is wearing a mask? Mcr are now a fuckin slipknot tribute band. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers! Death… dealers. Right.
"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them" wait what? YOU'RE ALREADY THERE AT THE CONCERT? WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? Voldemort just fuckin announced he is actually Gerard Way and you're turning on your boyfriend? Like it's his fault?
"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what. I have never met a guy who has been uncomfortable with this.
"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice. So now she's finally pissed that he raped her?
"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT." Wait what. He wont rape her this time cos their mates are coming too.
"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?" what does an escort have to do with mainstream? And what's a Christina?
"NO." he muttered loudly.
"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily. Logical reasons to break up with your boyfriend over.
"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me. Why does draco know like every fucking song by good charlotte? And bitch this is not a fucking musical, stop singing.
I was flattened LMAO cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! Yeah babe, just for you. Absolutely.
"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. ARE THEY NOT AT A CONCERT? DID I HALLUCINATE THAT ENTIRE SCENE?
B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). What. What the fuck. Bitch what. I can't speak Japanese at all, and im not even going to try, but im going to go ahead and say no, that's not how you say it."BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." Yeah she skipped ONE maths class, adios bitch. (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!) oh dear, looks like someone had a falling out. Also willow was mentioned literally once, in chapter one, and we never heard from her again, so this is not a complete loss.
"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily. Bitch, you have gone to exactly two classes, one of them doesn't even exist in Hogwarts.
Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. Tim Burton is still shite. "Maybe Willow will die too." I said. Who else died?
"Kawai." Really? Kawaii is your response? Every simpleton knows what kawaii means, how can you use it so wrong. B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly.i think she means she shook her head energetically (which is terrifying) and lethargically (which is just wrong) "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak." Uhm what. What did I just read.
"Kawai." I commnted happily . kawaii desu peace emojiWe talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. You talked in silence. They telepathically communicated the entire time yep.
"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA." DID THIS NOT ALREADY HAPPEN WHAT.
B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping." Jesus she's keen.
"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. We still don't have those here and im pretty sure hogsmeade doesn't have one either.
"No." My head snaped up.
'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?" your mate doesn't want to go shopping? Definitely a prep. Everyone knows preps hate shopping
"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all." Uhm. In the arsehole of nowhere? Hogsmeade is the only thing near Hogwarts.
"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me!).what why? What's wrong with harry? What. Or me. "or me" bitch you didn't even know it existed how could you tell her about it?
"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms." DUMBELDORE told you about some cool gothic stores near Hogwarts? That sounds rape-y. are we gonna get another rape scene?
"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly. And yet it's in all capitals. Someone is lying to me.
"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go." What was she doing in his office? Is there a marauder's map of hogsmeade now?
We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. Yeah cos that's a thing.The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE ? he was hotter than Gerard but not. Why say it then? and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs." The Real Goths™
"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked. It sounds like a shitty sit com.
"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." A gothic. Camera. Pouch. I have literally heard it all. He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera." Yeah, because the sales assistants know everything about everyone
"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" this could have been before they spied on you the first time, shush I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. This is a dramatic moment and you're telling me about your outfit.
"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said. Imagine a sales person saying oh my satan. Also you can't say shit like that in retail, people get really annoyed if you do.
"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary. Ttly babe.
"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked. Yeah…. That doesn't happen.
"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA way what's yours?" oh great shes got another middle name. with emphasis.
"Tom Rid." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight." Tom fuckin Rid. Wow. And isn't Tom Riddle naturally black haired?
"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" he literally just asked if you were going to a concert sit the fuck down. I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, you're literally just assuming that. Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. Yeah fuckin hagrid bombed in through the window like lets go bitch. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!" Ebondy. Can't wait for this drama.
Author's Note: Alright, we'll leave it on that cliff hanger for now, wonder who's dead this time. I never made it this far in the story so I'll be just as surprised as you guys. Lmao.