Chapter 4

Jon knew Benjens' silence meant that he was having a hard time dealing with everything. About the missing time and everything he blurred out in such a short time. Even if the Nights Watch was their family now and have been for a long time, their blood family still held a deep place in their hearts. He didn't mean to spat it all out, he didn't mean for it all to come out in such a harsh and mean way. He was so overwhelmed about his uncle being here, being awake and finally having someone to talk to besides Sam. Like the bucked was full and more water was poured in. To be in all honesty he never thought about all the things his uncle missed and how he would have broken the news to him. He was so caught up in his exhaustion and emotions that it all just came out. Not in the best way. He wished he had Maester Aemon calmness and intelligent way with words. It all would have sounded much better even though it was still horrible and bad news. Many times he had to fight the urge to desert his watch, and go to help Robb when he was still alive, to hunt down Theon when his small brothers was burned, to search for Arya and even Sansa. Just like when he did when he heard the news of his father. Yet through all the heartache Jon was extremely grateful for the return of his uncle. He would do anything to keep him safe, even if it's the last thing he would do before he left this hell of a world. Besides that all, Jon was beyond worried about the years Benjen lost and where he had been.

"I have no words." Benjen finally said.

"Words will help them not." Jon replied, feeling sad all over again.

"Oh, by the Gods Jon, I wish I could remember what happened to me. I cannot remember one single thing. What about the rangers that was with me?" Benjen asked

"None returned alive." Jon answered simply, "Uncle I think we should get some sleep. Morning would come soon and with war so close we need every bit of rest. And….. You are still not better." Jon spoke, the tiredness clearly visible in his voice.

He was in bad shape yes, starved and he had battle ridden bruises on his chest, Jon had seen them for himself, when he bathed him. But he must have survived somehow and somewhere. How did he escape the horrible fate his men went through? Why haven't he returned. All the time Jon spent with the wildlings, never was there any sign or mentioned about him or of other crows being there or in captive. Surely if his uncle was in captive of the sort he would have known it when he was there.

The questions made Jon even more exhausted and his sanity was surely reaching a limit. He wished it would all just stop, even just for the remaining of the night.

At the same time Benjen was being tortured by silent questions too. Trying to remember the last thing he remembered and how he ended up with the White Walkers and why haven't they killed him and why they returned him to the wall. With no any form of battle of the sort. The question that made him wonder the most was – when and how he would tell Jon about the White Walkers and that they were the ones who returned him. Would Jon change towards him, would the Nights Watch lose trust in him? Could he trust himself?

"You are right Jon, we should stop torturing ourselves about what happened, and look to the future."

"I'm afraid our future might be a short one. The White Walkers with the Nights King, and his army of the dead. They are real, and they are coming. It's worse than winter coming. I've engaged in battle with them merely days passed. It was horrific."

"We will find a way to keep the Wall, and protect the realm. We always have."

"I hope so uncle, with every breath within me, I hope so. We have suffered great losses in the battle with the Wildlings. And you know how small our numbers have been before you left."

"We should talk about this some other time, you are tired Jon, and lack of sleep gives the ghosts time to toy with a man's mind."

With that said, Benjen turned around and tried to fall back to sleep. Jon made himself comfortable as he possibly could in the chair and fell asleep too.

The next morning Jon woke up cold and stiff with every muscle and bone in his body begging for release from the uncomfortable chair. The fire long died out. Jon cleared his head and looked over to the bed. Benjen was gone. Jon jumped up startled. Surely everything was not a dream. Jon opened the door swiftly only to find a startled Sam behind it, carrying a tray.

"You startled me Lord Commander." Sam said swiftly and moved past Jon to place the tray on a nearby table. "I nearly dropped your breakfast."

"Uhm… Sam, where's Olly?" Jon asked puzzled.

"Oh,… He was on his way, so I took the tray from him, insisting that I should bring it this time." Sam smiled.

"Sam, I wasn't dreaming it, imagining it? He was really here?" Jon asked feeling extremely confused.

"What, your uncle Benjen, yes of course." Sam laughed. "You gave him permission going beyond the wall so soon after he returned."

"What are you talking about Sam?"

"He left by first light, through the tunnel saying you gave him orders to find answers about his missing time." Sam answered unsure of what to say.

"Sam you should know me better than that, I would never. He is not well, not better yet."

"It was what Olly told me. I wasn't there, I would have stopped him."

Jon felt his blood turned to ice like no fire could cure. All the hope he finally felt and relief to have his uncle back, all disappeared.

Why would he do it? Why would he left without saying a word, not to mention the state he was in. He won't survive. If Jon should guess, his uncle was always a head strong one; he probably felt he had to proof himself. The missing time should have bothered him more than he guessed. Jon felt pretty bad for not fully understanding what his uncle was going through. He should have known, he should have seen it.

Jon made his way outside, ready to go after his uncle. Through the tunnel, Jon found his uncle relatively close by in the forest, sitting by a fire, like nothing happened.

"Benjen!" Jon shouted as he dismounted his horse. Ghost came running and made himself comfortable next to Benjen and the fire. "Traitor." Jon said to Ghost and Benjen smiled.

"He has grown up so much." Benjen stated, pretending not to know why Jon came or why he was angry. He knew all too well. He should have woken him up and said what he wanted to do, but he couldn't. "You both have."

"Uncle what are you doing here? You are not well yet, and telling everyone that I gave permission."

"I'm sorry Lord Commander, I just needed to do this on my own. The answers must be here."

"Benjen we can't lose time, we don't have time for this."

"One day Jon, that's all I ask. I will return in the morning I promise."

The pleading in Benjen's eyes made Jon's heart skip a beat. He shouldn't let his uncle do this. Not only for his health, but rangers don't go beyond the wall for personal reasons. It would stir the politic between him and Ser Alliser even more.

"It's not safe, I can't spare rangers for a personal matter. Uncle we will find answers, but first we need…" Jon started and Benjen stood up.

"I'm not asking for more men to come with me, I'm not going far. I just want to go to the point where I was left before returning to the wall yesterday. I won't desert the watch."

"To the place you were left?" Jon asked worriedly.

"I woke up near the wall yesterday, that's all I know, I don't remember getting there. I just want to go there and search for answers. I promise Lord Commander, by first light of the new day I will be back." Benjen pleaded.

Jon sighed. "Seven hells!" He looked at his uncle and knew that answers they needed, and that perhaps he could spare him one day. "One day uncle that's it and ONLY if you take Ghost with you."

The older man looked at Ghost who was sitting comfortably by the fire, knowing it wasn't really for the heat.

"What do you say boy, you want to come with me?" Benjen asked Ghost.

"I'm afraid none of you two have a choice. Those are my terms." Jon said simply.

"And we accept."

"By first light, none longer." Jon said for the last time and Benjen nodded in reply.

With that, Jon made his way back to the wall and through the tunnel.

Jon's head was aching; he was in no mood for Davos when he arrived with demands from Lord Stannis. The cheek they had. They knew the threat that was coming and still they wanted to play games of war. Jon's mood grew cold when The Red Priestess arrived, confirming and telling the tale of the outcome of the battle and the loss of a princess. Things could not get any worse.

Beyond the wall Benjen and Ghost made their way to where he first "woke up", with the White Walkers and the Nights King. His body started to freeze, his skin turned white. Waterfalls of images washed over him. His time as a White Walker was there, yet unclear. Benjen was startled and stepped back. His skin turned back to normal and Benjen was even more confused. This couldn't be! He could not be a man of ice and the night. Was this forever? Would he turn back into one in time? All the time Ghost didn't do anything. He wasn't afraid, like he knew all along, like deep within he knew when as a White Walker, Benjen Stark he still was. Deep within he could fight the White Walker and be the man he always have been.

"Let's get back to the wall boy; I don't know how much time I have left. The Lord Commander must know." With that they made their way back to the wall, even with night creeping in on the horizon.

It was night and Jon was in his chamber reading all the news the ravens brought. He could handle no more tragedy.

Olly stormed into the chamber, "Lord Commander, it's your uncle Benjen. The wildlings they had answers about seeing him at Hardhome not a moon past."

ANSWERS! Jon thought. Finally some answers, then his uncle won't go beyond the wall again without his knowing to search for answers. His uncle could come back and they would have none if this no more.

"Show me!" Jon instructed and followed Olly outside.

Jon followed Olly outside, and through a crowd of his men. His eyes fell upon the cross and the words that was spitting in his face. This was the last joke or anything Ser Alliser was ever going to do. This was the last of it. He would be punished. The Nights Watch was no joke.

Jon turned around to face Ser Alliser, starring him in the eye that would even have made Ghost afraid. The look on Ser Alliser's face was a strange one, but Jon was not going to falter anymore. He had nothing to proof!

One by one, they stabbed him. Repeating words Jon wish they actually respected! For the Watch… What had they ever done for the watch! He fell to his knees, and wished Ghost was here. Then from the crowd he came. The boy he wanted to save. The only person in the Nights Watch he wanted to do good by - Olly. Jon was shocked. Not him. NOT HIM!

"Olly," Jon whispered painfully.

"For the watch!" Olly spat and stabbed Jon one last time. Jon didn't feel the dagger that time, and fell back onto the snow and the cold…. Oh the cold! Everyone left, and Jon was left there all alone bleeding out in the night, in the cold, in the snow!

None of the Nights Watch knew The Red Priestess was in the shadows of the night. Looking at the scene before her, smiling about the events. They thought they won, they thought they killed Jon Snow. The lord of light had much more in store for him before he could leave this world. She knew it, she had seen the visions.

Something woke Benjen suddenly. Ghost was restless. And he too had a cold feeling within him. Were they coming? Were they coming for him now? Ghost was running in circles. Something was wrong, he could feel it too.

"Alright boy, we will return to the wall now and not in the morning." And with that Benjen stood up, killed the fire and they made their way home.

She opened the gates of the tunnel with magic, no sound should it make. She took Jon beyond the wall where he belonged. On the ground Jon laid, his skin still warm, but his heart still.

In a distance Ghost was howling. The sound was coming closer. The Red Priestess knew the time had come. What came next would be hidden from the eyes and ears of the men guarding the wall. They have no need to see the failure of their betrayal.

Ghost came running through the forest, his red eyes burning in the night like fire. Behind him Benjen Stark was running too. Ghost arrived first his howling turned to whimpering cries. Benjen shortly after. His face white with horror.

"Witch! What have you done?!" Benjen shouted as he fell to Jon's side, taking him into his arms. Not Jon. This couldn't be!

"It was his men, Ser Alliser and the rest. I simply brought him through the gate for us to help." She answered simply, with no fear within her.

"For us to help? He is dead!" The words sounded wrong. Jon couldn't be dead; he was one of the rare few good souls left in this horrible world.

"Dear Lord of ice, you think I don't know what I see when I look at you." She said looking at him sharply.

What ever could she mean by that? Was it because Eddard was a Lord in the North? But he was no Lord of the North. That Title does not go to him, and never would.

"You are The Red Priestess, supposed to have magic and all, can you help him?" Benjen pleated choosing to ignore what she said.

"You and I can only help him together." She said, "And the sooner the better, before his soul leaves his body for good."

"I'll do anything." Benjen said, hanging onto Jon for dear life.

"You'll know what to do, white one." She said and Benjen was confused.

She lifted her arms and spoke the words of blood magic, "With the fire within me, I give the light to thee, the return of life, the power of fire!"

With her words, he knew what he had to do. Somehow he knew.

Benjen's skin grew white and he became cold, "With the ice within me, I give the night to thee, the return of life, the power of ice!" After the words were spoken Benjen returned to normal and he dared not questioned what just happened. Maybe what the Nights King once made him could save his bellowed nephew.

"And through Fire and Ice, Jon Snow will no longer be. But Jon Targaryen he shall be, the true leader and King of all the realms." The Red Priestess said and with that Jon inhaled sharply.