Scene 4
Setting: Whereever Sesshomaru was hanging out at the time.
(Sesshomaru, Rin and Jaken are pretty much just there.)
Sesshomaru:
I want a big sword/ I want a big, big sword/ I want a big sword/ I want InuYasha's sword/ 'Cause when I get Tetsuaiga/ They'll all go Oh my God/ He has a big, big sword/
My stupid half brother/ He thinks he's so hot/ He says he has a big sword/ But look at what I've got/
(Kagura enters. With a classic WTF look on her face, she tries to think of something to say, but is speechless and slightly disturbed)
Sesshomaru:
I want a big sword/ I want a big, big sword/ I want a big sword/ I want InuYasha's sword/ All the girls will sigh/ Sesshomaru's the guy/ He has a big, big sword/
The fangirls think I'm sexy/ But say that I'm metro/ But when I whip my sword out/ They'll know I'm hetero/
Rin: What's Lord Sesshomaru talking about?
Jaken: You'll know when you're older Rin.
Sesshomaru:
I'm gonna get a big sword/ 'Cause that's what I deserve/
Kagura:
Your sword is actually pretty big from what I remember/
Sesshomaru:
I want a big sword/ I want a big, big sword/ I want a big sword/ I want InuYasha's sword/ It is so big and shiney/ And it should be miney/ He has a big, big sword/ And I want his big, big sword
Kagura: Wow, that was fucking interesting.
Sesshomaru: Kagura?
Kagura: Mind telling me what all that was about?
Sesshomaru: Well I…
Rin: Lord Sesshomaru?
Sesshomaru: Mommy and daddy are talking right now, Rin. Why don't you go annoy Jaken or something?
Rin: How so?
Sesshomaru: Poke him with a stick until he screams.
Rin: Okay
(Rin runs off with a little twig and pokes Jaken)
Jaken: Rin, what are you doing?
Rin: Poking you.
Jaken: Why?
Rin: Because I'm bored, and Lord Sesshomaru said I could.
Kagura: Ah, playful squabble. I hate playful squabble. (loudly) Rin!
Rin:Yes?
Kagura: Poke him with this.
(Kagura hands Rin a spear)
Kagura: It'll make him scream louder.
(Rin is fascinated)
Jaken: What?! You gave her a spear?!
Sesshomaru: Are you blind Jaken? That is exactly what she gave her.
Rin: Look Jaken, mommy gave me a pointy stick!
(Jaken, terrified, runs away. Rin chases him offstage)
Kagura: (after Rin) I'm not your mom!
Sesshomaru: So why are you here?
Kagura: Well, we're going to kill Naraku and…
Sesshomaru: We?
Kagura: InuYasha, Sango, Miroku, you know.
Sesshomaru: Normally I'd…
(Rin appears)
Sesshomaru: What Rin?
Rin: Lord Sesshomaru, Jaken's not moving.
Kagura: Did you seriously stab him that fucking hard?
Rin: What does 'fuck' mean?
Sesshomaru: You'll know when you're older. Let's go heal Jaken.
(blackout)
(Sango and Miroku enter)
Sango: There will now be a fifteen-minute intermission.
Miroku: You can go get something to eat, like Cheetos, You can use the restroom, text someone or, if any of you girls would be so kind as to bear my child…
Sango: (pissed off) Do you want me to shove this boomerang up your ass, Miroku?
Miroku: Strangely, yes.