New chapter. A little melt down. I don`t like Chuck just mopes around. So he is going to have a breakdown and maybe if it feels like it, this story may turn a Serena/Chuck. Hope you like it. Thanks for the reviews. I make some corrections to the last chapter. I am not against Dair, but is crap for me to have the biggest story of love ever and Blair is being so difficult.

Things are easy for a while but it is short live. They came back from Miami and life went on.

Chuck with his business and Serena thinking once again what to do with her life. She still writes for Nate, but seems Gossip Girl is back for good and people are sending her their stories again.
And she is getting bored.

Everything is good until St Valentines. Blair is back in town, and somehow her best friend manages to make a disaster of it.

That kiss was like a slap. So much talking about getting her back with Dan to be kissing him a few hours after.

Blair´s betrayal hurts maybe a little tiny bit more than Dan, not wanting her. She was healing ok.

She goes to Blair´s apartment. Dorota is not home. She packs a bag and asks the driver to take her to the Empire. She cannot stay with Blair`s after this.

She hopes Chuck is home.

Chuck is having the longest bath ever. His skin is red and tender, the bathroom mirror is cover by steam. Maybe if he stays under the water enough he will be able to clean himself from Blair´s lingering presence in his skin and memories.

All he could think about while he was seducing Dan´s editor, was how she was not Blair. And strangely enough Serena flashed through his mind a couple of times while she was kissing Alessandra. He has put that woman in a cab after extracting a little bit of dirt about Humphrey.

But he does not know what to do with it. Because really? Louis is a prince. A real life he actually offered Blair a fairy tale and throne. So he could understand why she will choose him. Louis once made her happy and loved her. He can understand Louis. Even the piece where she did not want him to pay the dowry. Pride is their biggest sin. But really, for his life, he can not understand Dan.

He said once that he will always fight for her. But how long and how many suitors can he fight? How many times can he stand she saying no, in favor of someone she considers better than him?

He was not loyal to her once. He sold her. He is sorry. He has paid his penance. He lost her. But not happy with that, she make him pay. With her love, undying love that turns into rejection. She loves him but has rejected him, more times than anyone
should endure.

Blair is his fate .Or that is what he likes to think. He changed for her. Became everything she wanted him to be. And even thought she rejects him.

"You have change your decision making and style of life, because it was your choice Charles. Maybe Blair was the catalyst and a big help. But this, what you have manage so far, is becauseyou are a good person. With or without Blair. Don't forget that"

He turns off the water. He has been thinking about those words since his last session with the theraphist. He changed for her and she did not want him. But maybe, just maybe it should not be the end of the world.

Maybe he should move on. He is tired of mopping, being unhappy and being alone.

"I am Chuck Bass" he whispers, staring at the mirror. The image stares at him. He tries to smile and instead he smirks.

"I am Chuck Bass" he repeats again. Suddenly he recognizes himself in the mirror. He can see the man he has become, but also the devilish rascal is there and he has been ignore for too long. Is part of who he is. Dark and light. Maybe a little more dark. And he has been neglecting himself. Just to be loved by her.

He told Blair he love her light and her darkness. That she is his light..

Blair could not stand his darkness and wish for him to change… Blair does not want him for who he is.

How can she claim she loves me?

He stops feeling sorry for himself. The fury and the rage are stronger than anything else and he starts screaming. He screams his name over and over, his motto, what define him five years ago.

I am Chuck Bass.

I am fucking Chuck Bass.

Chuck Bass does not take crap from anyone.

Chuck Bass always gets what he wants

Chuck Bass does not fall in love.

Chuck Bass is not a whimpering fool

Suddenly he slams his fist against the image that is staring at him, enraged and disgusted with himself. He hits the mirror until there is only pieces of it and his hands are covered by his blood. As his fury dissolves a wave of nausea hits him and he slumps against the wall.

He is Chuck Bass. And he has been a fool.

He really has changed. He should be drinking himself to oblivion. And he has not change at all, his hands covered by his own blood. He is Chuck Bass, but he is not the same cocky teenager, and he is not the softy and perfect gentleman he tries so hard to portrait. He is…something in between. His head hurts.

Monkey is whining out the door. He wishes he could open it, but they are pieces of the mirror all over the floor and his puppy can get hurt. Well at least his heart is still working. He cares his stupid mutt gets hurt. He laughs a little.

Suddenly he realizes he is not drunk, no high, so losing control like this is crazy. And stupid. So stupid is funny. So incredible stupid that is legendary. He starts laughing. Laughing at the silly thing his life has become, wanting a girl who does not want him, who chooses a prince and a peasant over him. Who chooses anyone but him, even thought she is his destiny, his fate, the love of his life. Is a hollow laugh, devoid of happiness and warm. He is such a fool.

He feels like he is going insane and probably he sounds like he already is, but he does not care. He has to let it out, because if not he is going to explode. Like a nuclear bomb.

He keeps laughing. He cannot do anything else. At least for now.

Serena enters to the loft. It is dark and the first thing she hears is Monkey whimpers. She walks towards where the whimper comes from. Monkey is there and looks at her with his enormous puppy eyes asking help. The bathroom door is closed and she can hear Chuck in there laughing softly. "Chuck?" she softly asks and when se receives no answer , opens the door.

Serena Van der Woodsen feels like she is going to break right there. She closes the door as the pup try to enter. Monkey starts to howl and bark. He is angry. Wants to help.

Trembling she sits next to him. He does not notice, he is still laughing softly, just a bitter little laugh but is the most horrible sound Serena has heard Chuck make. Tears are also falling down his cheeks. She calls his name a couple of times, but he just stares ahead and eventually gets quiet. She wants to help but does not know what to do. This looks too surreal. He is bleeding from his hands. There is a lot of blood and pieces of glass lying around. She wants to help. But does not know how. She is too cold and too shock. What if he dies? She does not move.

A few minutes later he whispers so low she almost did not catch it .

"Stay?" he does not move. Just extends his hand to her.

She smiles sadly. He does not have to ask. She takes his hand it inmmediatly "Always Chuck. Always"

He nods and holds her hand and stays quiet.

With her other hand she calls Nate. She needs reinforcement. And is time for him to start acting like the best friend he supposedly is.

Chuck is asleep when the ambulance gets there. Serena never leaves his side.

A pale Nate orders the maids to order the mess and keep it private. He is shaking when he gets to his room.

Charles Bass just broke.