4. Making It

The party was lasting far longer than I had expected and I busied myself by chatting with Ichina for most of the time. I loved having her around, she made me laugh about nearly everything. But then again, I suppose that's what a best friend is supposed to do. I was enjoying a piece of cake while Ichina went on about her most recent shift at the hospital, moving slowly to the music from the little radio someone had brought when the Kazekage approached us. Ichina was quick to bow, something I realized I hadn't done since our wedding, which hadn't really been much anyways- just a crap-ton of signatures and an exchange of rings.

"Koshinja, there are people I would like you to meet." he said.

I nodded and followed him towards the two unfamiliar men stuffing their faces with cake. He cleared his throat and gestured towards me. "Yaoki, Korobi, this is my wife, Koshinja. These two were my teammates on my first squad in the regular forces. They have supported me in my endeavors, including my appointment to Kazekage."

I tipped my head as they bowed. "Hello, it's nice to meet you both."

"Wow, Ms. Koshinja, you are really beautiful." Yaoki said, causing me to smile in embarrassment. "So how long were you two together before you married?"

I decided to answer in order to quickly avoid a tricky subject. "We weren't. Our marriage was a rather abrupt one." I smiled, hoping it would suffice. Apparently not.

"Oh, so it was a love at first sight kind of thing?" Korobi asked, admittedly innocently, I suppose.

But he had to use that word, it had to be 'love'. Such words I had cast far from my mind fairly early on, near the beginning of the Kazekage's and my new life together. I didn't know if we'd ever love one another, I didn't think it was important. I just did as I was told. Even now, I'm not able to gauge the probability of love between the man peering down at me sympathetically and myself. I grabbed my arm, trying to fake a smile through the feelings that had erupted inside of me. Love? How could I answer that? 'No, it's wasn't love at first sight', 'Love? No, love had nothing to do with it', 'It was a decision far beyond either one of our control and we submitted to the will of the elders in order to satisfy their desire to secure the future of the village'. Even as I thought the words, I knew I couldn't speak any of them. Before the silence could completely consume the four of us, the Kazekage stepped in.

"Our union was arranged." He said it simply, matter-of-factly, and the debilitating truth of his statement nearly got the better of me for as I was preparing to excuse myself, Kankuro asked for the room's attention.

"Hey everyone, it's time to open presents." At his beckoning, everyone followed Kankuro to the Kazekage's office which was littered with silly string and confetti. I was trying to see the expression on the Kazekage's face but before I could get a look, I was violently yanked to the side by a pair of well-manicured hands. When I looked up, it was into the stern eyes of Temari.

"Uh… hi?" I tried. She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Koshinja, right?" I nodded. "I know the elders picked you to be my brother's wife, and I know Kankuro and you have some history as friends but I don't know you. And quite frankly, that bothers me."

I didn't know what to say but I had a feeling she didn't want me to say anything anyway. I was very surprised by her sudden forwardness and also very apprehensive. "Look, I love both of my brothers and they've- we've- been through too much to have to deal with potential marital distress, especially Gaara. He had a really rough start in life and he shouldn't have to continue to struggle throughout it, he doesn't deserve it. He also doesn't deserve to be mistreated. So take this as a warning, if I find out you've hurt him… Let's just say you'll have more than sand to worry about on a windy day."

I nodded quickly to show my concurrence and swallowed back the fear she'd that quickly instilled in me. I'd always heard people say that Lord Kazekage was frightening, I bet none of them had ever met his sister. She left before I did to return to the festivities and I followed suit after taking a moment to compose myself. They were done with the presents and filing back into the living room, turning up the radio and continuing to enjoy one another's company. A song came on that I wasn't familiar with, one probably from a far-off country. According to the beginning, it was called Make It to Me. Its melancholy rhythm seemed to infect everyone in the room, sobering laughs and calming tensions. Before the first verse could come through the speaker, Ichina seemed to have an idea.

"Hey Shinja, why don't you and Lord Kazekage dance together?"

I felt the color drain from my face, and the taste in my mouth went right with it when Kankuro voiced his slurred approval of the idea. "That's perfect. C'mon Gaara, grab Koshinja and break it down."

"Have you been drinking?" I hissed, embarrassed that all eyes were on me.

He paused. "A little." Then, "A little more than a little."

I grit my teeth and was about to refuse when I turned to see the Kazekage's hand outstretched to me. It was clear that I was nervous, firstly of the dancing and secondly that it was with him. But the song kept playing and the pressure was on.

I averted my eyes, deciding the truth was my best option. "I can't dance Kazekage-sama." The first verse had begun.

My mind runs away to you

With the thought I hope you'll see

He reached for my hand, pulling me to the space the others had cleared for us. "You've put your trust in me as leader of the village. I'll only ask you now to trust me as a partner."

Can't see where it's wandered to
But I know where it wants to be

Looking up at him as he rested one hand on my waist and gently grasped my fingers with the other, I found myself nodding. He moved and I followed as best as I could. The song was slow and the movements were easy but I was just such an awful dancer that the only thought in my head was not falling and not crushing his toes. I knew he could tell what I was thinking and abruptly I felt myself being lifted onto his feet as he moved us side to side and in slow circles.

I'm waiting patiently though time is moving slow
I have one vacancy and I wanted you to know that

No longer was it necessary for me to look down so I took a chance, turning my eyes to his face. He was staring at me and I had to fight every instinct in my body not to pull away. However softly his eyes looked on at me, his gaze was intense. And just like that, I was… transfixed, hypnotized, thrust into a whirlpool of green fire.

You're the one designed for me
A distant stranger that I will complete

Everything disappeared and I felt lost, steadied only by the continuing music and the hold he had on me. My indifference towards the man who led me through these movements was stripped away with every note that crashed between us. Unnamed feelings rose in my chest and twisted my stomach. I didn't know what exactly it was, but something in that moment caused me to close my eyes and lean into his chest.

I know you're out there we're meant to be
So keep your head up and make it to me

I could feel him still looking down at me as he spun me through every sensation I felt dancing with him. I wouldn't claim love. I wouldn't claim a connection. I wouldn't even claim lust. But there was something, something held in between our fingers, something rushing within our blood, something different, something I wanted to pursue making itself apparent in the moments the music bestowed upon us.

And make it to me

The rest of the song moved us into solitude. I know the others must have been watching but from where we swayed to the beat, as far as I was concerned, we were alone together. And when finally our dance ended, reality snapped back into place around me. I felt breathless despite a lack of physical activity and even when we'd stopped moving I'd unknowingly still held his hand. I dropped it quickly and followed his lead as he gave a little bow to the others' applause.

"Impressive lil sis. I was sure you were gonna fall and bust your ass." Kankuro remarked.

"Idiot." I declared, rearing to punch him in the head before Temari's warning flew into my mind and put my anger in check. After that, there was nothing left to do. So we distributed the food to all of the guests and saw everyone out. At the door as we bade our company goodbye, Kankuro turned around. It was clear to me now that he was in fact slightly tipsy.

He yawned before pointing at the Kazekage's robes. "Oh yeah and Gaara, I meant to ask you, what's with the scuff marks around your knees?"

I slammed the door in his face.

…

I had been too tired the previous night to clean up the mess that everyone had made. So I opted to get up earlier to take care of it before going to work. Most of it was easy, just cups, plates, and napkins from the food. The living room didn't take long to clean at all. Even less time, it seemed, considering my mind was filled with thoughts of the dance the Kazekage and I had participated in during the party. I couldn't explain why I had been so enraptured by those moments. For all the time I considered it, the feelings I'd had felt more and more like a dream, their potency fading as I continued with my morning. By the time was standing in front of the Kazekage's office, I was nearly convinced I had imagined all of it.

For a moment I contemplated whether or not I should be going into his office without his permission. This was a legendary morning, one in which I had awoken before the man who lay sleeping soundly in my bed. I decided that since he didn't really want the party in the first place, perhaps it was a good idea to clean up the mess Kankuro had made. Opening the door, it was worse that I remembered it. Alongside the confetti was wrapping paper, random pieces of plastic, and foodstuff. I shook my head. How in the world did grown men and women not know how to clean up after themselves? Although I was bothered by the mess, I knew it had to be cleaned so I just got to it. But that didn't stop me from muttering cuss words the whole time.

I was trying to keep my voice down, in fear of waking the Kazekage. I was underneath the desk, attempting to pull free a piece of wrapping paper, when I hit my head and proceeded to look up. Taped to the underside of the desk was a different piece of paper. I knew it was none of my business but my curiosity outweighed my guilt as I freed it from the tape. Unfolding it I saw it was a picture of a woman, or… was it a man? He or she was pretty, blonde hair, smiling kindly. I rose from beneath the desk, still holding the picture, flipping it over in my hand for some indication of a name or a date. I found writing in the right-hand lower corner on the back.

"Yasha- Yashamaru? I wonder who that is." I mused aloud.

"He's my uncle."

I jumped, instinctively hiding the picture behind my back which was, of course, very silly. I felt a breeze and he was behind me, gently pulling the picture from my hands. So I stood there for a moment, caught, like a naughty child, as he returned it to the bottom of his desk. I couldn't tell if he was mad at me, so I asked. "Are you angry with me Kazekage-sama?"

He looked sideways at me and sighed. "No, I suppose not."

I twiddled my thumbs, not making eye contact. "I don't mean to pry, and if you don't mind telling me, why did you hide the picture under your desk? Didn't you get the tattoo for your uncle? I'm just, having trouble understanding is all."

We were facing one another. Through the quiet that ensued I wondered if he knew how nervous he made me. I tried to keep my eyes to the side but he was so tempting to look at. It was in these moments that I realized how attracted to him I really was, not just physically. It was his demeanor, the way he held himself. Although intimidating most of the time, in instances like these I found his stoic authority appropriate and reassuring.

He seemed to be assessing something, making a decision. "Why is it so important to you?"

"I just feel like, since we're married, and well, if we happen to be together for a while, I don't think we should lie to one another. And we should try to get to know one another, even a little." I sat down on the desk, hoisting myself up into a comfortable position. My bravery was deserting me but I felt like I had more to say so I concentrated on my hands in my lap while I spoke. "Lord Kazekage, if there's anyone in the world that you should feel like you're able to talk to, it should be me. It is me. I just… I want you to trust me, if that's okay."

He took a seat in his chair and settled into silence once more. I kept my eyes on my hands as I became aware of the feeling of his legs pressed against mine. He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned into his hand. "I was very young when I gave myself this tattoo. Although 'tattoo' is a relative term, it's more like a scar; it's made from my blood. I didn't want to tell you the entire truth before as yours came from love, from commemoration and devotion to people who are precious to you. Mine came from selfishness."

I was staring at him, not fully understanding but too shocked to ask. "Kazekage-sama, I-"

He looked up at me. "Koshinja, if there's one thing in my life that I regret, it is my childhood. I lived only to continue my own existence, whatever the cost, even if that was a human life. And this mark reminds me of that person every time I see it."

I reached down and moved aside his hair, exposing the kanji. "You can make it into something else Lord Kazekage. If that truly was the person you used to be, becoming the person you are now is something to be celebrated. You've changed into a man who'd die for this village, for people you don't even know. That kind of selflessness is rare in any human being, and I think you having been able to discover it, despite the darkness that lingered inside of you, is beautiful."

Suddenly he rose slightly and grabbed my hips, pulling me roughly into his lap. He grabbed my hand and took it from his cheek, gently caressing my palm with his thumb. "Koshinja, if I may, I'd like to say that in this moment, I am so grateful to be holding you."

It triggered something inside of me, some want for him I'd yet to become accustomed to. I swallowed in an attempt to fight of the trembles as he continued to speak. "From now on, I would like for you to call me Gaara." I was torn between thinking that it was about time and that he was finally letting me in. Maybe, just maybe, we could become friends.

Empowered by this newfound hope I gathered his face in my hands and placed my mouth over his. Before this moment I was unsure if we'd ever shared such a deep or hungry kiss; we were pausing for air quite frequently. My hands were nestled in his hair while his moved in slow circles on my backside. I pulled at his tresses a little more than kindly as I felt his tongue slip past my lips. My mind was growing steadily more hazy, all I could think of was him.

He tore himself from my lips to places slow, hard kisses down my neck. I was trying to catch my breath as he did so.

"Koshinja," he said as he focused on one particularly stimulating spot on my skin.

"Yes?"

His lips hovered above my pulse which was rushing beneath his touch. "Today is the actual day of my birth."

"Yes," I wasn't really sure what I was acknowledging because as he spoke, his hands were unzipping my shorts.

He drug his tongue towards my ear. "I'd like to finish celebrating, however, in the manner in which we began yesterday."

"Yes."

…

After what I would consider the best sex I'd had with the Kazekage, I had to go to work. Ichina had been texting me, messages I was blissfully ignoring in favor of enjoying the Kazekage's hands all over my body. Although not urgent, something was happening at work that required my immediate attention once my shift started. So when I arrived at the hospital, slapping my cheeks in an effort to get fucking the Kazekage out of my head, I clocked in and asked one of the nurses to locate Ichina for me as my phone had been left at home, lost in some corner of the office where I'd chucked it. It didn't take long for her to find me.

"Oh thank god you're here." she said as she approached me.

"What's going on?"

"Do you remember Patient X?" I nodded. "Well, he's awake."

A/N: Okay so, just as a disclaimer, I do not own the song. It's called Make It to Me by Sam Smith. I was listening to it as I wrote this chapter and I thought it was so perfect. Also thank you everyone for all the favs, comments, and reviews. Feedback is my motivation to keep the story going :)