So since theres been a few people who wanted to know if there would be any Jarlos in this, I'm going to NOT be a bitch and answer that quetion: Yes there will be Jarlos. Not sure when that will be, but yes there will be Jarlos. And thank you all for you reviews, they make me very happy :). I'm a little stressed right now because I missed freshman orientation so I'm worrying about first day of high school. *Facepalm* look at me annoying people with my personal issues, I gotta stop doing that. Anyways hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I dont own Big time rush *lets out sob*

Kendall woke from a deep sleep four hours later, tears running down his pale cheeks. He had dreamend about Logan. It had seemend so real, he had been sure it was real but know he knew it wasnt. Logan had confessed his love for Kendall, and then they had made love on the class room floor, afterward Logan had held Kendall telling him he loved him, and then Kendall had woken up. He just wanted to let himself cry like the big baby he was, but he had to be strong, so he wipped the tears away and pulled himself together. Logan was in the past, and would never be in his future.

And then he remebered something. Something very very important. He hadnt even asked his mom if Carlos could come. He cursed himself as he grabbed his phone and called his mom. She was at work, but she always answered no matter what when one of her children called.

"Hello?" Mrs, Knights voice was warm and bright.

"Mom?" Kendall said.

"Kendall, sweetheart, how are you feeling? Do you feel any better?" She was always thinking about her children which Kendall really loved her for.

"Not Really." Kendall admitted, lieing to her wouldnt do him any good.

"Awww, do you need me to come home and take care of you?" Mrs, Knight asked, and Kendall could tell that she meant it.

"No, I'm fine alone mom." Kendall told her. If she was home, she would never leave him alone, and then he was probably snap at her by accident or end up crying infront of her. He didnt need her there. All he needed was Carlos.

"Really Kendall, its no trouble if you really need me." Mrs, Knight said kindly.

"Mom, I'll be fine. But I have to ask you something important." Kendall said bitting down on his bruised and swollen bottom lip.

"What is it?"

"Remember when Carlos left, and you said no matter when it was or how busy you were, if Carlos came back to Minnesota for any amount of time he could live with us?" Kendall asked his mom. She had said that, no she had promised him that, Kendall just hoped she remembered.

"Yes..." Her answer was slow, hesitant.

"Well... Carlos is coming to Minnesota today, he's gonna be here for a few months and I was wondering...Could he stay with us?" Kendall nervously awaited her answer. He prayed she would say yes. Carlos was rich and he could set himself up in some fancy hotel if he wanted to for the next few months, but Kendall really wanted his friend with him.

"Sure,sweetheart." His moms voice was bubbley and bright and Kendall was releived she actually sounded very happy about Carlos coming to stay with them. Even if the Latino was hyper, wore a helmet for no apparent reason, and worshiped corndogs.

"Thanks mom!" Kendall said happily.

"Your welcome,Sweetheart. I have to go now though, will you be okay until Carlos gets there?"

"Yeah." Kendall said, smiling softly.

"Okay, Bye,Sweetie." His mother said.

"Bye,Mom." Then he hung up and threw his phone to the side, he felt his stomach growl and decided he would fore himself to eat a little before Carlos got there. He limped down the stairs slowly, whimpering every now and then. When he got to the kitchen he opened the fridge to find a bag from the Chinese place down the street that Kendall loved. He opened the bag and saw a plastic container with Chinese Chicken Rice soup and a white foam container with chicken fingers in it(1) Kendall smiled knowing Katie most have ordered this for him.

He heated the food up and then ate it standing up, not wanting to take a risk in sitting down and hurting is butt or back even more than it already was. He ate half of the food and put it back in the fridge when he was hungry again. The grease and the soup had helped his throat and it felt a little better. He checked the freezer for frozen corn dogs to make sure they werent out. The family always made sure to have corn dogs in the house for Carlos since Kendall had been five and Carlos had been seven, even after Carlos had left they still had them because they helped Kendall remember his best friend.

He went back up stairs thinking about Carlos. Carlos was Junior just like Kendall but he wasnt 16, the Latino would be turning 17 two months, but he had been held back as a kid because he had dyslexia. And thats how Kendall and Carlos had meet. Kendall had meet a six year old (almost 7 year old) Carlos in first grade a little while after he had turned six. They had connected the second they had layed eyes on each other and they had been best friends ever since.

Kendall thought about what he was gonna tell Carlos, and how he was going to tell him. Carlos wasnt one to rat out on people no matter what, the only time he had ever told one anyone was when Jett had beat him up when Kendall was twelve. And since it wasnt like Logan had raped Kendall or something Carlos wouldnt tell even if he wanted to.

He was scared of what Carlos would say. He wondered if the Latino who yell at him, or if he would understand. But knowing Carlos he understand, and even if he did dissaprove he would be there for Kendall.

Suddenly his thoughts were cut off by a door bell. Kendall looked at the clock. It was only one'clock and Carlos wasnt supposed to be there for another hour. He fixed his cloths as he limped back down the stairs. He gave his sore small frame a break at the last step before walking to the door, he opened it and almost yelled in exitement. There stood Carlos two duffle bags over his shoulders, and a suitcase at his feet. He had grown a few inches since Kendall had last seen him in freshman year and Carlos had cut his hair since there last live video chat.

"Carlos!" Kendall squealed before throwing his small body at the Latino, Carlos laughed as he hugged Kendall back. Kendall didnt realize how much he had missed his friend until that moment.

"Hi, Kendall." Carlos said happily.

"I havent seen you in forever." Kendall said with a sad smile as he let the Latino go.

"Two years." Carlos said with a sad smile that matched Kendalls.

"But there has been the webcam." Kendall pointed out.

"And the letters and gifts." Carlos said.

"And Facebook." Kendall said.

"And the phone calls and texts." Carlos said. Kendall grinned at how awkward it was. But Kendall guessed not phsical contact with your best friend for two years did that to a person.

"Stop making this awkward,bitch." Kendall said playfully, Carlos laughed at him and then there was no awkwardness. It was like Kendall had just saw him yesterday or something. But then things turnend more serious as Kendall went to help Carlos with his suitcase but then let out a whin of pain, standing up start like a bullet and rubbing his hips and lower back.

Carlos gave him a confused look before grabbing the bag himself and then halling it into the house. Kendall shut the door and then locked it. He insisted on taking one of Carlos's duffle bags and then he led the Latino up the stairs picking out one of the three guest rooms that was across from Kendalls room.

The room had a queen size bed, the walls were painted a dark green and the carpet was ivory, it had two dark wood dressers and a night stand, there was a bathroom connected to it, the bed was covered with ivory and dark green sheets, and tuns of pillows. His mom was awesome at decorating and this was the least girly guest room in the house, plus Carlos loved green and Kendall figured the purple guest room or the island themend guest room wasnt really his friends style.

"Sorry if its a litle...fluffy?" Kendall said.

Carlos laughed. "Fluffy? Man, why do I have the feeling this is the most manly room in the house." Kendall gave his friend a playful glare.

"My room is totally manly." Kendall protested.

"Sure it is." Carlos said. Kendall rolled his eyes as he led Carlos to his room. When he opend the door Carlos looked around. The carpet was black, the walls were painted a midnight blue, the covers and pillows were black and blue to match the walls and carpet. All the furniture was black, and the curtains were blue too. Kendall had three bookshelves along one wall each over flowing with book of all kinds. There was even a bay window that had amazing view of the snow covered trees in the backyard and the night sky when it was dark .Kendall had his chemistry kit at the top of one of the bookcases, he had about three dozen notebooks in piles all filled with notes or stories he had written on his dresser. Glow in the dark stars and moons were on the ceiling. There was a few posters that had constalations on them and one with famous math equations, and one of the cover of the Da-Vinci Code book. And he had old science far ribbons and trophies lining the walls, all the ribbons were blue and the trophies said 1st place. Kendall had never lost a science fair in his whole life. And then there was awards for other things, all of them having to do with school and all of them first place.

"Hello nerd ville." Carlos said, Kendall slapped his arm playfully.

Carlos sat down on Kendalls bed and Kendall followed to do the same but the moment his butt touched the surface he flinched and hopped up, rubbing his back. Carlos frownend as he took of his jacket and then threw it across the room on to the bay window.

"So you wanna talk about it?" Carlos asked suddenly. His voice was soft as he watched his best friend bite his lip and tears gather in the blondes eyes.

Kendall knew this was coming. This was the reason that he had wanted Carlos to come, so that Carlos could help him, so he wouldnt have to go threw the emotional pain all alone. But he was scared to. He didnt want Carlos to think bad at him. He was already doing that to much himself. He thought he had became some cheap set of ass that fucked anything even thought he had only slept with one person.

Kendall sat down with his small legs folded under him, this was actually comfortable, but even as he sat like this, Carlos was still taller than him. He took a deep breath before starting, he didnt want to break down like he had done countless times already.

"I...I had...I had sex with my teacher." Kendall said, as a tear ran down his face.

Carlos eyes widened as he took that in. Hiw whole face was over come with shock as he stared at Kendall. He never thought the blonde would do anything like that, Kendall had always said he wanted his first time to be with someone he loved. Carlos knew there was more to it, it was so clear in the blondes eyes.

"And?" he whispered.

"And...and I love him." Kendall whimpered as more tears fell.

Carlos wrapped his arms around his friend and let Kendall cry as he told Carlos how horrible he felt.

"A-and I feel like such a slut. I just did it, he didnt even have to press me or confince me. I let him do what ever he w-w-wanted and I d-didnt even t-try to stop h-him. I all but spread my fucking legs and begged him to fuck me." Kendall sobbed.

"Kenny Its not your fault. And your not a slut." Carlos told him.

"I feel like it. And I know I'am. I'm discusting whore who would let him fu-fuck m-me a thousand times over." Kendall sobbed, and he honsetly thought that of himself.

"Kendall, your not a slut, or a whore, and your not discusting. It was all your hormones, and such a genius should know that. It wasnt your fault." Carlos comfroted

"Yes it is. I didnt even try to stop him. And If I'm such a genius why didnt I say 'stop' or try to push him off me? Fuck Carlos, I gave him permission to undress me, I practically begged him to. I ingourged him." Kendall said remembering how he had panted 'god yes.' when Logan had pulled at his sweatervest and asked for permission.

Carlos sighed sadly. All he wanted was for his friend to feel better.

"Because you love him." Carlos sighed answering Kendalls question.

"I d-do. And he'll never feel the same way. I feel like such a idiot." Kendall said. He had let someone older take control of him, and know he knew that had been a horrible idea.

"Your not a idiot. Kendall its not your fault. Dont blame yourself. Your in love, your hormones were going crazy, you probably thought it was like a dream come true or something." Carlos said. Kendall blushed at his words. It had been a dream come true, literally.

"I feel like some easy peice of ass." Kendall sniffed.

"Oh really? Well would you let...Dak Zevon from middle school fuck you if he asked." Carlos asked.

"No." Kendall said. Sure Dak was a total hottie, but he would never let Dak touch him like Logan had.

"See? Dak only fucks stupid easy sluts, and your not a stupid easy slut." Carlos said. Carlos's words made him feel better, he didnt think he was easy that much anymore, but he did know something important.

"Then I guess I'm just easy when it comes to one person." Kendall whispered, letting a tear fall.

"What do you mean?"

"If Logan wanted to have sex again...I would do it." Kendall confessed. Carlos looked at him like he was insane.

"Dont say something like that." Carlos said.

"But its true, Carlos. I'm fucking nuts. I want Logan, but I dont want him. I need Logan, but I wish I didnt. I would let Logan screw me over and over again but I wish I wouldnt." Kendall cried as a whole knew round of tears began to fall.

"Your just broken hearted." Carlos said rubbing his back. Kendall just whimpered not able to go on, he just leanend into Carlos, and cried softly. Carlos made him feel better, he took away some of the bad feelings, he made Kendall feel better about himself. But he didnt take away his broken heart, Carlos couldnt give him back his virginity, and Carlos couldnt give him Logan, which was all he really wanted.

Kendall didnt know how long they stayed like that. Him crying and Carlos comforting him. All he knew was that he felt horrible all over but some of the guilt had gone away.

"Carlos?" Kendall whispered.

"Yeah." Carlos said softly.

"Are you like, discusted by me or something?" Kendall sniffed.

"Of course not." Carlos promised.

"I need you to promise me something." Kendall whispered.

"What?" Carlos said nervously.

"That you wont tell anyone about me and Logan." Kendall looked up and gave his friend a serious look. Carlos chewed on his lip but then he sighed giving in to his friend.

"I promise." Carlos said.

Kendall gave his friend a hug as he thanked him. Carlos was the best. He was awesome. But not even that could distract him. He knew if Logan really did wanna just use him as some sex toy he would do, and that why he felt like a slut, even thought he didnt wann admit to it. Logan was his first, and he always would be and that was something Kendall would never forget.

So yeah...this was just...bad. I feel like this was a total waste of your time but whatever. I'm sorry this sucked and Its kinda short. Also I'm sorry this was so short, but I start high school in eight days, and since school is starting I wont be able to update as much as I would like. But I found a slight inspiraton, then I got into Kogan depression, but then I found my Kogan bliss. Anyways, next chapter Carlos and Kendalls are gonna go back to school, and Kendalls gonna see Logan again. So hope you liked and sorry if it wasnt my best. I feel like I used the word slut to much in this. Yup, I'm insane. Anyways review because they make me happy and not slip into Kogan depression.

Love,
Sarah