Chapter 4: Loosing Your Cool

Time was slowly moving, but the holidays were soon approaching. As usual I would be staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. I had continued my tutoring sessions with Potter. They weren't as awkward as before, but whenever Harry would ask about me, I would quickly change the subject.

I didn't like the idea of talking about my life. Why would I? But I had given in to the idea of tutoring him. He seemed to become more comfortable as time went on. I even felt like I was starting to like him, as an acquaintance that is! Once the idea of becoming friends with him crossed my mind, though the idea was just outrageous.

I went back to the Ravenclaw Common Room early that night, after dinner, and went up to my dormitory. Nobody was there so I went over to the end of my bed and opened my trunk. I didn't know why but I went to the very bottom and pulled out a very, old, tattered photograph. I don't know how long I stared down blankly at that old picture... it was a photo of-.

I heard voices so I quickly shoved the photograph back into my trunk and slammed it shut. The door then opened and in came Elizabeth and the rest of her clan. They ignored me like usual and went over to Elizabeth's bed and sat down, chatting about their boyfriends.

I stared at them from my bed, which was on the other side of the room. Elizabeth was going on and on about how John was so great and how she was going to... well, that wasn't important... I couldn't believe that this was the girl that use to be my best friend.

Elizabeth chose that moment to look up, spotting me staring at them.

"What are you looking at?" she asked rudely, then all of a sudden she got a sly smile on her face, "Oh, you want to come join in, is that it?"

"Then come on over," she said waving me over with a kind smile on her face, one that could have fooled even the smartest kneazle (umm, that's a cat-like creature that's very intelligent and can detect suspicious people.. .just so you know), "Oh wait," she said as she stopped mid-wave. "You can't, can you? You don't have a boyfriend… oh silly me, you don't even had friends!"

I felt a sharp jab of pain stab me roughly in my stomach, that hurt. From all the torments I had gotten from them, they usually came from one of the other girls. But that coming from Elizabeth hurt beyond belief. But I wasn't going to cry, I gave up on crying along time ago... They were all laughing at her comment.

I wasn't sure what to do… I began to feel anger pulsing through my veins, as something beyond my control came over me. The pain of her words melted away as I clenched my hands into tight fists and walked over to them, not even aware of what my feet were doing.

"Who do you think you are?" I asked in a dangerously low voice as I stood right in front of her.

Elizabeth seemed very taken aback, and even slightly scared.

"Excuse me?" she asked, trying to hide her newfound fear.

"Who do you think you are?" I repeated very slowly, "You have no right to- to-" I didn't even know what really happened next, but the next thing I knew Elizabeth was on the floor clutching her nose, wailing.

"You! You bitch!" she yelled in fury, the rest of the girl were crowding around her, picking her up by the arm and beginning to drag her out of the room. "I'll get you for this!"

I noticed my arm was still slightly raised, and my hands were still tightly clenched into fists, the knuckles on my right hand were a bright red from when I has punched Elizabeth. I quickly lowered it, the realization of what I had just done hit me like a boulder to the head. I sat down on my bed for a while, just contemplating what I should do, my hands were still visibly shaking.

After a while I looked down at my watch and gasped. I had two minutes to get to the Library to meet Potter! I quickly left the Dormitory, and practically ran to the Library. It was five minutes after seven when I finally got there, gasping for breath.

I made my way to the back in a fast walk, Potter was already there, book open. He must of heard my uneven breathing, as he turned around, a smirk placed lightly on his face.

"Hey," he said, "I didn't think you would ever be late." he smiled, but I just took the seat across from him. It was then that I slapped myself, literally. I had just realized that I forgot my books…all of them.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

I didn't answer for a minute.

"Listen, I forgot my books, so-"

"It's ok," he said, "You can use mine…"

I nodded slowly, taking the books that he held out to me. After a minute or so I began to fidget a little, and I bit my lip.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he asked, and again I didn't reply.

"What happened?" he asked, suddenly serious. I just looked down at my hands, "You can trust me…" I looked up at him sharply, staring him straight in the eye. He met my gaze, not looking away, though seeming to weaken under its intense force. Could I really trust him? My inner self was telling me that I could, but I just didn't have the ability...

"It doesn't matter," I said simply, "It'll all be over the school tomorrow, anyway." And with that I started the lesson, though Harry was still curious about what had happened. I managed to avoid all questions relating to that topic.

It was true he would find out the next day, everyone found out…