Disclaimer: I will never own the characters!!!!
Chapter 4 Holding back
So now I sat on his bed waiting. Wondering if I really wanted to be here. After what he had said I was torn between wanting to know more and wanting to flee. If I left Kurama would forever be the same as before, but if I stayed, and I heard more of the truth...It would never be the same.
The door to his room opened to reveal Kurama, and a happy smile. I still didn't know if I wanted to be here.
"I'm glad you decided to stay Hiei," Kurama said.
"I'm still not sure...but I'm not going to leave you alone."
"Why do you care so much?" His voice was light and questioning.
"What do you mean?" I wasn't going to admit anything if I didn't have to.
"Why are you staying here with me?"
"I don't want you to do anything. At least if I'm here I can stop you."
"You don't want me to kill myself?" He asked. His forwardness surprised me.
"No."
"Why? Would you care if I died?"
"Yes...You are a competent fighting partner," I replied. I was still wondering where he was going with this. Why didn't he think I would care if he died? The way he talked about it without any emotion made me angry. Didn't he know how much it would effect me if he died?
"Is that the only reason? Just because I'm a skilled fighter? Isn't much of a reason to live is it..?" His voice trailed off with a chuckle.
I glared at him. "How can you say that kitsune?"
"What do you mean? To me my life seems useless. I should have died before. I don't really deserve this life."
"You have saved many in this lifetime. It is not time wasted!" I yelled angry.
"Hiei I grow so tired trying to live with the person I am every day. It would be so easy to give in, but if I were to die then at least I would not hurt anyone."
Kurama sat down on the bed besides me his expression turning sad.
"Don't be so selfish. The team needs you."
"Even you?"
I stared at him in confusion. Why was he asking me this? What did he want me to say?
"I suppose..."
Kurama leaned a little closer to me so I could hear what he was saying, because his voice was so low.
"You know Youko always has something to say about everything. He pushes me act on what I want..."
"Kurama?"
Kurama was leaning closer now, a suggestive smirk on his face, but now I could also see that he was crying.
"You don't know how hard it is to be this close to you right now..."
"Kurama I don't understand-"
My voice was cut short as his hands slid around my neck forcing my lips against his. They were hot, and full of emotion. I felt his hands slide down from my neck to the front of my shirt. His hands pushed against my chest forcing the kiss to end. He looked at me hungrily. I stared back dumbfounded.
"I always tell myself the thoughts are wrong, but Youko won't let me forget them. He won't let me forget my needs. You are only my friend, but I can't help but want you. It's been to long."
Kurama leaned forward. I thought he was going to kiss me again, and I still couldn't find the strength to move away. My mind told me to run that Kurama wasn't in his right mind, but my body was aching to feel his touch. It wanted to feel the warmth from the previous night again. It wanted those soft lips...
Kurama's face was barely an inch from mine, and I could feel his ragged breaths brushing my cheek. I closed my eyes anticipating another kiss. Already my every nerve was tingling. I moaned, when instead I felt, his mouth running down my neck. His lips tickled my flesh, while his fiery tong made a heat erupt over my entire body.
"Kurama..." I managed to get out despite my sudden lack of air. I couldn't seem to breathe. The struggle to control myself was much harder then it ever was before.
"Please Hiei...just give in to the feeling... I don't want to have to force you." Kurama said in a husky voice.
The threat made me trimmer. I knew there was no way I could stop him. I could never refuse him...especially when I wanted him so badly.
Kurama pushed me back until my head hit his pillow. Both of his hands were on my shoulders pinning me down. He straddled my waist a leg on either side of my hips to hold me captive. The heat I could feel radiating of his body warming my skin made me start shaking.
Kurama chuckled darkly when he noticed this. I suddenly felt scared at the way those GOLDEN eyes were staring at me. He was giving in to Youko, and I knew there was no hope of me escaping him. He wanted me, and he would have me.
Kurama leaned down pressing his body against mine. His hands began roaming down my sides. When he reached my waist he pulled my shirt out from my pants. I failed to contain another moan as his hands slid under my shirt and across my stomach and chest. He pulled my shirt up over my head, then quickly removed his own.
He ran moist kisses down my chest, licking my nipples, to arouse me further. I whimpered at his actions, so teasing yet with a hidden promise.
Finally his lips made their way down to the hem of my pants. His nimble fingers began undoing my many belts with great haste. He growled with impatience.
"Why do you wear so many?" He asked in a deep tone. Youko's voice.
When he pulled the last one off he pulled off my pants with my boxers. I felt vulnerable with out any cloths.
Kurama sat up, and locked his smoldering gaze upon me. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled them off, tossing them aside, to join the rest of our cloths. He was only wearing a pair of black boxers now.
He paused for a moment before pulling off the last thing that was keeping us apart. He laid completely on me, and brought his face up to mine. Again I felt his lips pressing against mine. This time the kiss was more passionate. His tong outlined my mouth begging for entry. In my aroused haze I opened my mouth, groaning as his tong slid across my own. Finally neither my body nor mind could ignore what it wanted any longer. I pushed forward into the kiss fighting back with my tong.
My arms, which had been lying limp at my sides the entire time, wrapped around his back. I pulled him closer, enjoying him pressed against me like this... He began to move against me, and I had to resist the urge to mark him as mine. Our erections rubbed against each other, making the heat in my body build even more.
Content that I was finally giving in Kurama pushed into me. I scream out in pain, and bit my lip trying to get used to his size.
Leaning forward, he ran his lips over my ear to whisper in my ear. My arousal rubbing against his stomach as he did so.
"It only hurts at first. Relax," He said sensually.
He briefly sucked on my earlobe, and when He felt me relax, began slow thrusts. At fist he was soft and gentle, moving at a slow pace. When my body was used to that he moved faster, and pumped harder.
After a while I could feel the heat gathering in my groin, and the harsh breath against my neck meant that Kurama was close to climaxing too. Finally I heard him groan, and release in side me. I came at the same time, throwing my head back in pleasure.
Kurama rested his head on my shoulder. His breath ran over my sweaty skin in short bursts. I felt exhausted, but satisfied. Comfortable in his hold I let myself fall asleep.
Yay!!! finally some sex...I mean hm... anyway I just couldn't wait any more for some actual "Fun." Do you like it? I don't have much practice writing this kind of stuff, so I'm not sure how good it was. I'll just have to keep practicing ne? winks
So now I sat on his bed waiting. Wondering if I really wanted to be here. After what he had said I was torn between wanting to know more and wanting to flee. If I left Kurama would forever be the same as before, but if I stayed, and I heard more of the truth...It would never be the same.
The door to his room opened to reveal Kurama, and a happy smile. I still didn't know if I wanted to be here.
"I'm glad you decided to stay Hiei," Kurama said.
"I'm still not sure...but I'm not going to leave you alone."
"Why do you care so much?" His voice was light and questioning.
"What do you mean?" I wasn't going to admit anything if I didn't have to.
"Why are you staying here with me?"
"I don't want you to do anything. At least if I'm here I can stop you."
"You don't want me to kill myself?" He asked. His forwardness surprised me.
"No."
"Why? Would you care if I died?"
"Yes...You are a competent fighting partner," I replied. I was still wondering where he was going with this. Why didn't he think I would care if he died? The way he talked about it without any emotion made me angry. Didn't he know how much it would effect me if he died?
"Is that the only reason? Just because I'm a skilled fighter? Isn't much of a reason to live is it..?" His voice trailed off with a chuckle.
I glared at him. "How can you say that kitsune?"
"What do you mean? To me my life seems useless. I should have died before. I don't really deserve this life."
"You have saved many in this lifetime. It is not time wasted!" I yelled angry.
"Hiei I grow so tired trying to live with the person I am every day. It would be so easy to give in, but if I were to die then at least I would not hurt anyone."
Kurama sat down on the bed besides me his expression turning sad.
"Don't be so selfish. The team needs you."
"Even you?"
I stared at him in confusion. Why was he asking me this? What did he want me to say?
"I suppose..."
Kurama leaned a little closer to me so I could hear what he was saying, because his voice was so low.
"You know Youko always has something to say about everything. He pushes me act on what I want..."
"Kurama?"
Kurama was leaning closer now, a suggestive smirk on his face, but now I could also see that he was crying.
"You don't know how hard it is to be this close to you right now..."
"Kurama I don't understand-"
My voice was cut short as his hands slid around my neck forcing my lips against his. They were hot, and full of emotion. I felt his hands slide down from my neck to the front of my shirt. His hands pushed against my chest forcing the kiss to end. He looked at me hungrily. I stared back dumbfounded.
"I always tell myself the thoughts are wrong, but Youko won't let me forget them. He won't let me forget my needs. You are only my friend, but I can't help but want you. It's been to long."
Kurama leaned forward. I thought he was going to kiss me again, and I still couldn't find the strength to move away. My mind told me to run that Kurama wasn't in his right mind, but my body was aching to feel his touch. It wanted to feel the warmth from the previous night again. It wanted those soft lips...
Kurama's face was barely an inch from mine, and I could feel his ragged breaths brushing my cheek. I closed my eyes anticipating another kiss. Already my every nerve was tingling. I moaned, when instead I felt, his mouth running down my neck. His lips tickled my flesh, while his fiery tong made a heat erupt over my entire body.
"Kurama..." I managed to get out despite my sudden lack of air. I couldn't seem to breathe. The struggle to control myself was much harder then it ever was before.
"Please Hiei...just give in to the feeling... I don't want to have to force you." Kurama said in a husky voice.
The threat made me trimmer. I knew there was no way I could stop him. I could never refuse him...especially when I wanted him so badly.
Kurama pushed me back until my head hit his pillow. Both of his hands were on my shoulders pinning me down. He straddled my waist a leg on either side of my hips to hold me captive. The heat I could feel radiating of his body warming my skin made me start shaking.
Kurama chuckled darkly when he noticed this. I suddenly felt scared at the way those GOLDEN eyes were staring at me. He was giving in to Youko, and I knew there was no hope of me escaping him. He wanted me, and he would have me.
Kurama leaned down pressing his body against mine. His hands began roaming down my sides. When he reached my waist he pulled my shirt out from my pants. I failed to contain another moan as his hands slid under my shirt and across my stomach and chest. He pulled my shirt up over my head, then quickly removed his own.
He ran moist kisses down my chest, licking my nipples, to arouse me further. I whimpered at his actions, so teasing yet with a hidden promise.
Finally his lips made their way down to the hem of my pants. His nimble fingers began undoing my many belts with great haste. He growled with impatience.
"Why do you wear so many?" He asked in a deep tone. Youko's voice.
When he pulled the last one off he pulled off my pants with my boxers. I felt vulnerable with out any cloths.
Kurama sat up, and locked his smoldering gaze upon me. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled them off, tossing them aside, to join the rest of our cloths. He was only wearing a pair of black boxers now.
He paused for a moment before pulling off the last thing that was keeping us apart. He laid completely on me, and brought his face up to mine. Again I felt his lips pressing against mine. This time the kiss was more passionate. His tong outlined my mouth begging for entry. In my aroused haze I opened my mouth, groaning as his tong slid across my own. Finally neither my body nor mind could ignore what it wanted any longer. I pushed forward into the kiss fighting back with my tong.
My arms, which had been lying limp at my sides the entire time, wrapped around his back. I pulled him closer, enjoying him pressed against me like this... He began to move against me, and I had to resist the urge to mark him as mine. Our erections rubbed against each other, making the heat in my body build even more.
Content that I was finally giving in Kurama pushed into me. I scream out in pain, and bit my lip trying to get used to his size.
Leaning forward, he ran his lips over my ear to whisper in my ear. My arousal rubbing against his stomach as he did so.
"It only hurts at first. Relax," He said sensually.
He briefly sucked on my earlobe, and when He felt me relax, began slow thrusts. At fist he was soft and gentle, moving at a slow pace. When my body was used to that he moved faster, and pumped harder.
After a while I could feel the heat gathering in my groin, and the harsh breath against my neck meant that Kurama was close to climaxing too. Finally I heard him groan, and release in side me. I came at the same time, throwing my head back in pleasure.
Kurama rested his head on my shoulder. His breath ran over my sweaty skin in short bursts. I felt exhausted, but satisfied. Comfortable in his hold I let myself fall asleep.
Yay!!! finally some sex...I mean hm... anyway I just couldn't wait any more for some actual "Fun." Do you like it? I don't have much practice writing this kind of stuff, so I'm not sure how good it was. I'll just have to keep practicing ne? winks