A.N Merry Christmas! So I made a few edits to chapters 2 and 3 so the include Hartely now. Nothing too major, so you don't have to reread anything if you don't want to. This chapter started out as nothing, but I think it's my favorite so far. Enjoy :)

Skye sat in her bunk and tried to keep her mind off what Ward had said to her, but every time she began working on her program, his words came back. Skye was used to danger; there'd been people after her her whole life. She shouldn't be afraid of Whitehall. But this was Hydra; they had the resources that others hadn't. If anyone was going to succeed in killing her, it would be Hydra.

Not to mention whatever Ward wanted to tell her. His words had seemed sincere, but Ward had to be an idiot if he really thought Skye would believe anything he said after all that had happened. It would be the very coldest day in hell before she started trusting Grant Ward again.

She shook her head and tried not to think about it. She needed her head in the game for this mission. If she succeeded in marking Raina, who knew what doors it would open up? It could even lead to a full scale invasion of Hydra.

But she wouldn't succeed in marking Raina if she couldn't get this damn program to work. Fitz had been a godsend when she needed major help, but she should be able to work out the last minor bugs on her own. So why couldn't she?

Skye didn't need to imagine what May would say if she knew. May was certain that Skye would crash one day from sleep deprivation, maybe not being able to work out issues in a fairly simple program was the first step in her downward spiral. She took another sip of coffee and focused on her computer. Now was not the time for her to be second guessing herself.

"Can I come in for a moment" someone asked standing right outside her door. Skye shut her laptop and got up to unlock it.

"Jemma" Skye breathed. She was just relieved that it wasn't May or Ward. Or even Coulson at this point.

"May I come in?" she asked. When Skye hesitated, she held out the cup of tea in her hand as an offering, "I came with gifts"

Skye couldn't help but smile as she took the cup, "Thanks, Jemma" Skye replied as she sat back down on her bed, leaving her door open for the scientist to follow. Jemma stepped inside and shut the door behind her.

"What's up?" Skye asked

"We haven't talked in a while" Jemma said. She sounded nervous

"You mean we haven't talked since Ward came back"

Jemma nodded. She wasn't sure what she could say since even hearing his name made her irrationally terrified.

"We don't have to, Jemma" Skye said comfortingly

"We should though" Jemma said, "Since he's going to be a permanent part of our lives again"

"I wouldn't bet on that," Skye said under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing" Skye said quickly, "Ignore me"

"You're not planning on killing him, are you?" Jemma asked. She was only half joking. To Jemma's knowledge, Skye had never killed anyone before, but if anyone was likely to be her first victim, it was Ward.

"No, Jemma," Skye replied, "You know I'm non-lethal"

"Yes," Jemma said, mostly to comfort herself. Jemma took great solace in knowing that there was someone else on this plane that was somewhat normal. But if Skye became like every other Shield agent… Jemma couldn't help but think that she'd no longer be Skye.

"Besides," Skye said, "If Fitz didn't have to reequip my Icer after every mission, what else would he do?"

"That's not funny, Skye" Jemma scolded, but there was a smile that Jemma couldn't hide. She had been so worried about Skye after the Fall. The Hacker had confined herself to her bunk almost 24/7 for weeks. Jemma was just about to put her under psychiatric watch, but May had beaten her to the punch.

But now… the nightmares had seemed to stop. And though Skye still wasn't sleeping enough, she seemed to be on the mend. She was as alright as a Shield agent could be, and for that Jemma was grateful.

"Wait," Jemma said, "So if you're not going to kill Ward, why would he leave?"

Skye groaned. She was hoping that Jemma would just let it go. She didn't want to have to explain the ultimatum she had given Ward, "I just…" Skye began, "I don't know if you want to hear it"

"Why wouldn't I?" Jemma asked.

"Because I know you don't like to talk about it," she replied quietly.

"Skye, you're making me nervous"

"He asked for my forgiveness," Skye said suddenly

"What? What did you say?"

"I wasn't sure what I could say," Skye said, "It's weird that I don't really care about who he's killed. I…I can't see them as more than just a number. Even Victoria, I didn't like her and she didn't like me. But she was still a person and I should be disgusted that he murdered her, but I'm not."

"It makes sense, Skye" Jemma said, "You've been with Shield for a while; you're starting to normalize violence. Every agent you've ever met has killed someone; it's a part of the job. Ward isn't different."

"But he killed some of the good guys"

"You know not every Shield agent is good. They weren't good guys in his mind," Jemma replied, "I know it's difficult to understand, but the way he was raised… he doesn't understand the value of life like we do. It's not an excuse for his actions; it's just the way it is."

"Then what about what he did to you?" Skye asked, "How can I forgive that?"

"Is that was this is about?" Jemma said, "It was a horrible experience Skye, but it happened months ago."

"You've just forgotten about?"

"No, of course not," she replied, "But I can't live my life thinking about one horrible thing that's happened to me."

"I know," Skye said, "But… I told him… that I can't forgive him unless you and Fitz did"

"Skye…" Jemma said slowly, "You can't be angry on my behalf"

"But I am," She groaned, "and I know that he had a shitty childhood, and I really do believe that no one is entirely evil. But it's hard to keep thinking that when he tried to kill my best friend."

"Would it help if I said I don't think he was actually trying to kill us?"

"He dropped you in the ocean, Jemma," Skye would have laughed if she hadn't been talking about murder.

"Think about it, Skye," she urged, "If he'd wanted us dead, he could have put two bullets in our heads."

"And if he wanted you alive, he would have let you escaped," she countered.

"He gave us a fighting chance," Jemma insisted, "He had to follow orders; Garrett would have known if he'd let us go. He believed that we'd find a way out and we did"

"Barely"

"Barely was all we needed."

"Have…" Skye swallowed, "Have you forgiven him?"

"I don't know," Jemma admitted, "I don't know if forgiveness is the right word for it. But I think I understand it."

"He doesn't belong here," Skye insisted.

"Maybe not," She agreed, "But he certainly doesn't belong with Hydra." Jemma could see that she was starting to get through to Skye, so she continued, "And isn't better that he has a chance with us?"

"I don't know," She replied. Everything was getting confusing. Well, more confusing than normal. It had been so much easier if Skye could just hate him, but she couldn't. She knew too much about him to just accept that he was straight up evil. When he wasn't here, Skye could pretend that he had just lied to her about everything. But now… now she could see the sincerity in his eyes whenever he talked to her. He was a good liar, but not good enough that he could fully deceive her, "I don't know what to think," she sighed. This was exactly what Skye didn't need before a mission. She'd be trapped with Ward for at least a few hours, and she didn't need to be second guessing herself at every turn.

"What about you, Skye," Jemma asked, hitting yet another topic that Skye hadn't wanted to discuss, "I know he didn't physically hurt her, but you were the closest to him."

"I don't know," Skye said. She knew that talking to Jemma would probably help. She hadn't really confided in anyone since she was forced to talk to a Shield psychiatrist, and even then she had only shared the bare minimum to get her out of therapy, "It wouldn't have been as bad if…" she stopped herself before she finished the sentence.

"If what?" Jemma prodded, "Skye, talking helps."

"If he hadn't kissed me, okay" she said quietly.

"He kissed you?" Jemma asked. She looked at Skye sympathetically. It was no secret that Ward had liked her, almost everyone knew that Ward had a soft spot for her. But she never imagined that Ward would ever act on those feelings. And then to betray them a moment later… Skye had had a worse time than anyone had realized.

"Just once," she replied as if that made it better, "And I guess it didn't really mean anything to him"

"But it meant something to you."

"Of course it did," Skye could feel tears filling her eyes. She hated crying, especially in front of other people. But if there was anyone she was okay with being vulnerable in front of, it was Jemma.

Jemma pulled her into a tight embrace, "I'm so sorry, Skye," she said as she rubbed Skye's back soothingly, "I had no idea."

"How could you have?" Skye replied, "I never told anyone."

"I should've been able to tell. That's what best friends do."

Skye hugged Jemma tighter as sobs wracked her body. She hadn't allowed herself relief like this since she had found out about her parents. It had been so long since she'd trusted someone to see her like this.

Jemma just let Skye cry in her arms. She hadn't really had friends other than Fitz, but she was sure that this is what friends did. They let each other just cry. She didn't speak until Skye's breathing returned to normal and she stopped feeling Skye's tears soak into her shirt.

"Skye?" she asked.

Skye gently pushed Jemma's arms away from her, "It's almost noon," she said simply.

"You don't have to go," Jemma said, "I can tell them you're ill"

"No," Skye said, "I have to go. People are counting on me."

"But you need to take care of yourself."
"I will when I get back." She said, "I promise"

Jemma frowned at Skye, but she knew there was nothing she could say that would stop her. As Skye gathered her supplies, Jemma just looked at her.

"What are you thinking about?" Jemma asked as Skye opened her door.

"That no matter how many times I get abandoned," she smiled sadly, "It still fucking hurts"

A.N Maybe as a present, if I get a couple reviews, I'll post another chapter tomorrow. Happy Holidays, Friends