Vin stared out at the rain, his hands on the bars of the window, cold to the touch and bitter like the room, a taciturn and emotionless prison. Not that the gown he wore helped, not with its open back and thin fabric. And its stupid polka dots. He wished the rain would just stop. Then he changed that thought and instead wished he was a raindrop. A quick descent before you splashed to the ground and became a puddle, how easy would that be? How nice? So free and beautiful
He wasn t sure what he should be feeling right then. With the medication they had him on he couldn t tell if any of this was real or just another one of his dreams. But at least the windows opened in this place, despite the bars behind them, and he could reach his hand out to feel it soaked by an icy rain within seconds. It felt wonderful. He was sick of the constantly lukewarm showers here and the lukewarm food and the lukewarm rooms. All it did was remind him of the warmth he missed the most. Sam s warmth.
Love isn t always on time, he thought suddenly, bringing his hand back in for the umpteenth time and patting its frigidity against his cheek. His body did a dramatic shiver, popping his spine. He d thinned so much since coming here despite their vitamins: The anti-depressants and sleeping pills sucked away all his energy and appetite. He felt himself not needing the bathroom anymore, not needing water or a coat because of their damn warm rooms! S-Stupid place. He grunted to himself for what had to be at least the thousandth time this day. He wanted out, and the more he wanted for it, the worse his imprisonment became. He was caged and it made him physically ill because he could do nothing about it. He threw his hand out past the bars, scooped up several handfuls of rain and splashed them on his hollowed face with the determination to become a raindrop. It made his bandages stick tighter, shrinking around his wrists, and the deep wounds beneath them throb something fierce, but he still continued his ritual because it was so warm!
The warmth was dreadful, something worse than torture. It taunted him about Sam, spat in his face with every room he entered, every shower he took and ever bite of food that went into his mouth and he had to spit out to keep from retching. Every time he lay under lukewarm sheets, he tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Soon They were fixing that, giving him Restoril and Dalmane to drug him into a sleep-like stupor, but it never actually helped him sleep. Every day he woke up feeling like he was a zombie. And when the medicine faded, the headaches were worse. They didn t care either. They, that ghastly, sinking They. The people keeping him here, torturing him every night. He d stopped crying in his sleep a while ago, but he still could not lose the pain of never seeing Sam when he woke, instead only seeing a horrifying They looming over his bed.
The thing was, Vincent shouldn t even be in this hospital. This stupid, stupid hospital. Mercy Child and Young Adult Mental Health Center didn t exactly sound like his type of place. Hell, even school fit him more than here. But after being hauled around from boarding house to boarding house, each worse for him than the last, he suspected he d end up in some looney bin in the end. Was this the end? Vin wondered as he brought more of the cool water from inside and hit himself in the face with it, each glacial trickle leaving a memory on his skin.
The warmth here was wonderful. When he woke up to it, he woke up grinning. And he was grinning right now into Sam s handsome shoulder, the arm connected to it wrapped around him. They d finally done it, he realized as he opened his eyelids and observed Sam s face in front of his, with its long jaw line, intense eyes and perfectly thin lips. Now that usually straight and tidy hair was tousled and unkempt, and Vin grinned, because he knew why. He knew it well. It was his hands that tangled it in the dark of a passion filled hour. The pain in his lower half assured him that the last night wasn t a dream. They d finally done it. Sam had finally taken him to bed, like his body yearned for him to do for so many years now.
It was twice as good as he d expected it to be. A little painful at first, but one got over the initial tightness after a while, and Vin could handle pain. He wasn t a feeble p***y, after all. Knowing this, he grinned wider. Yes, he was no p***y, and he could handle anything Sam threw his way. And he wanted Sam to throw things his way now; he wanted more of the last night. It was addicting, and Vincent felt enlightened. Seeing his brother, and only his brother, swaying above him like that, framed in the blurry shape of Vin s eyelashes, groaning, grunting, sighing and moaning because of the pleasures he gave. How marvelous was that? Vin felt very good about himself indeed.
Except for that pain in his lower half. He needed that solved. And he started getting an idea how. Sitting up, he removed the heavy arm of his sleeping lover off him, and got out of bed. Beside the pain, he still had to go to the bathroom. He figured that would hurt a bit. Creeping into the bathroom, Vin only then realized he was entirely clothless and sneaking around his house at five in the morning. Strange.
Belaying that, he went into the bathroom down the hall and sat down on the chilly toilet seat. Things went. That s the best he could explain it without going into the dirty details, but all in all, it hurt and it was somehow a little easier. He supposed he wasn t going to tell this to his doctor on his next sport s physical.
When he returned to bed all ship-shape and prepared by his standards, having rinsed off really quick in the shower, Vince slipped to the side of Sam s bed and reached his leg over his brother, who d turned so he was tilted more on his back. This roused him a bit, and the man muttered something incoherent. Vin smiled and leaned over, bringing his lips from the tip of his lover s shoulder, down his collarbone and landed on his neck, lips sensuously sucking the skin. As a twelve year old, this was one of his favorite things to envision doing, and now he could. His damp hair tickled the one below, leaving small dots of moisture on his flesh. Sam mumbled again, lying flat on his back now. Vin grinned, but had to stop in order to rake his teeth over the skin of Sam s jaw. From there, he moved on to Sam s chin, where he took it upon himself to bite the flesh presented to him before taking up Sam s bottom lip in his teeth.
Uh Vin Sam murmured and the brother felt his heart race. Was Sam dreaming about him? He couldn t tell. So he intended to find out. Deciding it would be a bit odd to start making out with a sleeping man, Vin instead wandered about his body, taking time to analyze each fantasy he d turn non-fictional this morning. How long had he dreamt of swirling his tongue around that bellybutton of Sam s? How long had he been dreaming he was encasing one of Sam s hard nipples in his mouth, pinching at it with his teeth? Over all the things he learned as a teenager about sex, he wanted to do them all to Sam.
Mmmmmm . Sam voiced when Vin s electric touch slid down the fine, nearly invisible blond trail of hair to his pelvis. Watching his older, responsible, hard-working brother s face contort and then relax had him excited, and he circled his bent middle finger in the hair below. Now it glided up and down the side of Sam s partially erected member, moving to the very tip and sliding itself along the crease. Vin watched Sam s breath hitch while he continued to slumber. Ahh . Vi . It was like silk. But the younger brother demanded his entire name be said, and placed his lips right next to the curve of Sam s ear.
Sam He whispered, finding it not hard to come up with a lustful tone. He was in fact throbbing down south, and it was nearly painful. Oh... Sam... He sucked on the earlobe before him, moaning in want.
Ah, Vin Sam replied and the younger male smirked.
Are you dreaming about me, Sam? he asked, and returned down Sam s long body, sliding his aching entrance against the excitement below. It was throbbing down there, as if there were a heartbeat pounding for a penetration.
Now Sam really woke up, his startling blue eyes snapping wide as he realized that this was not part of his sleep s imagining. Those dazzling sapphire orbs centered on Vin, the teen sitting on his hips, hands rubbing along his chest. It seized a breath in Sam s chest. Oh no, Vin was just a boy! What was he doing on his Then he remembered the last night, how they d finally gotten around to making love. Vin s first time, the dear heart. He was sixteen now, moving on seventeen, no longer a boy. But what was he doing now ?
Vin? he mumbled a little groggily, though quickly waking up, and his little brother nodded, reaching down and pulling at something. Sam felt it and instantly gasped out the breath he d held in. Had he just woken up aroused with his little needy brother on his chest? It would appear so. What are you doing?
Vin s smile widened. The teen wasn t feeling the least bit guilty about this. Leaning up, Vin kissed his older brother intensely, curling his fingers in his hair. Sam osculated back, falling into the move with ease, and rested his hand on the back of Vin s head. But Vin s hands were trailing downward and Sam stopped before he let another gasp escape, grabbing Vin s wrists.
What are you doing?
Vin sighed heavily. Will you just shut up and have sex with me? he said, starting to get agitated. Sam stared.
Well Jeeze, Vin, I didn t think Aren t you sore? he asked sheepishly.
Not sore enough. Now can we..? Vin gestured with his hips, rocking them for a moment. Sam s brows rose and he felt himself twitch fiercely against Vin s back. His little brother took that as a yes. Sliding backwards, Vin perched himself above Sam s large arousal, looking down at it. He hated it when Sam looked at him down there it embarrassed the hell out of him but Sam never seemed to mind when Vin stole a long stare at his crotch, which happened often. It was big, Vin had always noticed with satisfaction, and knowing that he could holster such a large desirable thing made his ego soar. None of those stupid, pretty girls at Sam s work could handle this thing like he could even if he d only done that once. Well, he was going to make a habit out of it, right now.
But Sam grabbed him and flopped him over on the bed. Sam, I wanna be on top! Vin said angrily, struggling under him, but it only took one touch from his older brother down there and the boy was silenced. Albeit, a very moan filled silence.
You don t get to be on top until you know how to handle it. Sam said, which made the younger of the two scowl. Sam s long fingers slid from his waist, making a long trail down his navel and past his fully erected need, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Why don t you watch, Vin? See how it s done.
Oh boy, there he went again, always playing teacher. Though Vin sat up on his elbows, legs bent and spread wide on either side of him, and his chest moved quickly when the tip of a finger poked into his entrance. He couldn t see all of it down there, but he saw Sam s hand movements and he could feel what was happening. The warm fingers tickling his entrance, close by his area of absolute pleasure. His eyelids lowered a fraction, a small noisy breath tumbling out of his mouth. Sam glanced at Vin s face, but had his eyes on his work. His entire middle finger was pushed inside the hole, and it started moving around. Vin caught his breath when its nail brushed against that freshly harbored cluster of nerves.
M .more Vin urged, but Sam shook his head.
A little more stretching will do. He said quietly, and to distract his brother he leaned down and started sucking on his throat, the vibrations from Vin s callings trembling up to his lips. Sam finally bent his first finger and slid another one in. Vin wheezed, grabbing Sam s neck and dragging his nails down it until he was sure he had half of the man s skin under his fingertips.
See now, I don t want to hurt you. Sam whispered into the others ear, his fingers probing and spreading. It was like magic on Vin, and he puffed quickly, starting to move his legs in his excitement. You still have school later.
Screw school. Vin panted. Sam stopped momentarily.
Don t say that. he said lightly, his fingers picking back up and spreading the widest yet.
Vin winced. Then screw me.
It would be a lie to say it didn t turn Sam on quite a bit to hear that, and he felt excited to get into Vin, who had been so unbelievably perfect the last night. Vin hadn t been the only one pining all these years.
Finding three fingers in Vin now, he figured his brother had enough room, though he withdrew and went to the edge of the bed, by the nightstand. From there he removed a singly used bottle of ointment, and unscrewed the slippery cap. While this was being done, Vin was impatient for more, sliding himself up and down along the sheets and hissing for him to hurry.
But Sam went along as usual, silently trying not to look too frantic lest his brother find that offensive of course, this idea was wrong, as Vin would had loved to see his brother riled up by him. So, while Sam nurtured his need with the oily gel, Vin had crawled over and smacked the tube out of his hand. Climbing into Sam s lap, he could feel the slick hardness brush against the inside of his thigh, and he felt so unbelievably, intensely wound up he could barely keep a grip of himself.
Sam took him by the hips, to his surprise, and brought their stomachs close, looking at Vin s flushed face. Are you paying attention? he asked quietly before his lips were stolen away by a fiery kiss. How could Vin pay attention at this moment?! Vin mentally shook his head at his brother. There was no paying attention when you were horny, he thought, as if he d known this all his life.
Can you just stop talking and put your damned d**k in me? he demanded, though he knew he d get in trouble for this later. That was the downside to having your lover also as your parental figure. Sam sighed, which irritated the boy further.
Why don t you do it? You think you re ready, go on. I m ready. he said quietly, and let his knees fall to the sides, leaving himself open to his little brother. Now that was something Vince wanted to hear.
So, without further ado, Vin moved deep into Sam s lap, grabbing one of his shoulders in one hand, his slippery member in the other, and used his own outstretched pinky to find his chasm. Once it had been sighted, he placed Sam s tip against it, and pushed a little ways. He lurched and kept a small noise in. After all that pleasure the other night, he d nearly forgotten this painful feeling. But he ventured on, determined to show Sam how ready he was for these things and got himself around the entire head. He paused then, leg muscles beginning to burn and a throbbing tightness in his a** where he had Sam positioned. His brother was breathing heavily in his ear, eyes half mast.
Go on and move again. Sam breathed, trying not to sound hurried, but this painfully slow operation was driving him crazy with desire. His hands pressed firmly against Vin s lower back, which slid him down some and made the boy gasp and wince.
All right? Was all Sam could manage to say in concern because he was trembling with need for the boy. The strong muscles constricting around him were enough to make him mad, and he really had to refrain from moving in all the way and taking over. But he allowed Vin to give a shaky nod before, to both of their surprise, letting the weight of his hips pull him quickly down.
Like pulling off a Band-Aid, Vin thought before this happened, and he closed his eyes, clenching his teeth. Move quickly and it doesn t hurt as much. He dropped. This made him cry out loudly, not having expected such a shock to shoot through his midsection. His cheeks had hit Sam s hips, their skin connecting like a burning coal against dry paper. He d gone all the way down and it hurt. Apparently Sam had not honored his entire body last night, because this was far more than Vin had ever intended. He panted against Sam s neck, wondering if he could go on.
But Sam seemed to see this coming, and slid his hands to cup Vin s quaking butt cheeks, sliding his fingers in the crevice and gripping there. He pulled the muscle apart while he lifted Vincent up, eyes glazing over while a pleasure buzzed through his body. Vin whimpered.
Can you go? Sam asked a bit shakily. The boy nodded and, aided by Sam s hands, slowly started shifting. Sam refrained, as he had the last night, from moving too quickly despite how hard it was to keep from just instinctually thrusting away. Just the tight warmth of Vin s inner cavities had Sam sighing, oohing and aahing.
There was a short thrust to the side and Vin s eyes popped open. There had been a discovery!
A-Ah, Sam!
The older didn t stop, recognizing this as a cry of pleasure, and responded by lifting his hips to meet Vin s while the grip was tightened around his shoulders. They concussed together along the bed, soon falling to its sheets when they could not longer hold each other up, and Sam lay over Vince, pushing the smaller male s left knee up to his chest and dissolving in the results. Vin was finding it hard to breath while his leg pressed into his chest, and the tightening muscles due to this were burning, and in a sense, all these things heightened his need to his brother. The lack of oxygen made him dizzy and made him feel high, while the throbbing gave the more eclectic brother a masochistic pleasure. Agh, ah, Sam, harder, harder, harder His words were jumbled and mixed with his moans, all things barely audible. Could he help himself? The urges were just taking over him, and Sam fixed them by heeding his please for more. For more and more and more. The thrusts quickened to a more intense pace, drawing them both closer to the tips of their peaks, and the bed actually began to creak on its hinges, the headboard bumping into the wall and rubbing off its ivory paint. Sam s gasps were short and workable, constant and in rhythm. His little brother s were loud and unconscious, breaking from his chest and demanding for more of what his lover gave. They were wild and untamed, and though Sam felt he was restraining, after a while he stopped holding back, losing control over his feelings. He couldn t ignore the cries of his brother, couldn t deny what his body needed from him, and he truly began to ravish the boy, grabbing the mattress through the sheets and rocking forcefully against him, skin slapping together stridently.
Neither ever wanted to stop, truly enthralled and obsessed with their actions together. But there was a boiling point met in his stomach, and Vin felt it starting to overflow. Sam can t I m g-gunna c-caaah . He couldn t even finish, the last word swept away by a load moan that had him clinging to his brother. Spilling openly over both he and Sam s stomachs, Vin gasped and panted, the world spiraling in and out of his vision. Sam continued to swing inside him, dragging on his ending euphoria, and finally, Sam threw his head back with a silent cry and their hips were nailed together while a hot fluid shot into Vin.
Panting and sweating profusely, they collapsed into one another, Sam falling downward over his younger brother. Vin, busily trying to catch his breath and swallow down his dry throat, let his arms fall off Sam s shoulders and to the torrid sheets. Twice used sheets.
Soon, he had the energy to smile. Ah . God . Just . He locked his heels around Sam s thighs, holding the man into him, where the hardness there had turned soft. Sam panted, forcing himself to perch on his hands over the other. Mhm, Vin, we have to clean up. It s thirty minutes until school starts he mumbled breathily, glancing at the bedside clock. Vin ignored that last comment and pulled Sam back down on him.
Screw school.
Vin. Sam said warningly.
Oh, c mon Sam, just do it to me one more time. We ll make it a quickie. The boy pleaded, flexing his stomach so that his abdomen clenched tightly. He could feel Sam s member quiver a bit. Being younger, Vin was quicker to gain back his energy, and was already returning to spirit. Perhaps fifteen minutes and he d be ready for round three. Sam, on the other hand, had work in two hours and would need a very long shower and perhaps an energy drink from the gas station down the way. A coffee actually sounded marvelous. However, it was apparent that his little brother wasn t letting him go as of the moment.
Vin. He said again, voice stern. Vin sighed, sensing his loss already in this battle. Letting his legs drop, he lifted his hips a bit in order to have Sam draw away, and after a moment he did. Something spilled heavily to the sheets and Sam blushed. Vin looked down and saw why. From his entrance, thick, creamy liquid seeped like a waterfall, gushing over the bed sheets and down his skin, bubbling faintly. Blushing a bit himself, he smiled.
You came right in me, Sam. He said. His brother s cheeks darkened.
Just because you re sixteen doesn t mean you get to talk like that. he said, but Vin disregarded that and pulled Sam back over him.
I m also your lover now, Sam. He said coyly into the man s ear. And I m a dirty teenager. I ll say what I want to you, and you ll just have to punish me for it.
Sam s eyebrows rose. His little brother must have been watching some X-rated movies lately because Sam never heard him talk like this. And this chatter about Sam coming inside him, he d have to put up fences on that as well. He had the upper hand, he was glad to say, and used it moments later. Vincent. He said, voice already firm. The boy looked at him, still smiling in a knowing way. You are going to behave, and you are going to school or you won t get to do this with me.
That made the little brother mad. He rolled his eyes and tossed his body over, more precious juices sliding out behind. That s stupid. He mumbled, blowing his sweaty bangs out of his face. Sam leaned over him, and in doing so, pressed his front to Vin s back again.
No, it s what you get. Until you can work wisely, you re not getting any of he paused, feeling a bit frisky himself now that he d had a moment to recuperate, and bumped his manhood into Vin s crevice. This. Understand?
Fine, fine. Vin said after a moment of grumbling and rolled back over. But just one quickie !
No. School. Now.
Turned out, Vince wasn t late for school, nor was he any days after that. Because of the deal, he never missed a day and he never let Sam be late for work. Things from there, because of Sam s rules, remained as normal and inconspicuous as possible, the single difference being both males seemed to be smiling a lot more.
Only once had they made a slip and done something so terribly dangerous that it got them caught, and Vin felt horrible because it was mainly his fault. If it wasn t for that, then Vincent Fischer wouldn t be in this Mercy Hospital
Stupid place. He said, bottom lip trembling while his eyes shook at the window and its hollow breeze. He wished he hadn t thought of that memory now, it only guilted him. If only he d heeded Sam s warnings and not gone to his office that night. If only he hadn t gotten Sam all wound up and climbed into his office chair, then having himself pinned to the desk. Because Sam s manager was staying late and wanted to drop paperwork for the next day s third-quarter pages, and how had he found them? Vincent would never forget himself. If it wasn t for that, if he d only heeded Sam s warnings, he wouldn t be here.
There, now you can t escape. Sam chuckled under the sheets and Vin tried to wriggle his way out from under the man.
That s what you think! the younger responded, and twisted his body in a valiant way, but only ended up knotting further into his older brother s ensnaring arms and his legs tangled in the bed spread. Damnit he puffed, giving in as of the moment. His eyes narrowed playfully. You ll never take me alive. That made Sam laugh, and he came in to kiss one of Vin s nipples, then nibbled the other.
I never intended to. He said quietly, a smile on his lips, and his free hand tickled Vin s sides again. The boy wiggled and jerked, trying to escape them, but couldn t, held by Sam s strong, lengthy arms.
Jerk. He said.
Slave. His brother replied.
Vincent huffed. It was stuffy under these covers and they d been wrestling around for a while now. He poked his head out the top of the sheets and inhaled several large breaths of cool, fresh air before sinking back to fight against Sam once more.
Funny, he said, twisting his wrists while arching his back. I never figured you were one for kinky bondage.
Hardly. Sam replied, now licking his neck and pressing their hips together on and off in a teasing way that had Vin squirming worse. I m more into the sweet love.
Vin made his face look disappointed by that, though he loved Sam s sweet love . Because that sweet love could be anything from slow and steady to hard and hot. However his face looked, Vince couldn t help another boyish giggle at the thought of the other night, when Sam had practically pinned him to the couch, the Christmas lights dazzling over them from their tree while carols emitted from the stereo. So, instead of spending Christmas morning out in the living room, they were now spending it in bed, wrestling and making short, bursting love every fifteen minutes or so. Right now they were taking a break, and Sam had somehow gotten his little brother in this hold that he simply could not get out of.
You re such a jerk! Vin exclaimed when another tickle came his way. Sam smiled and winked, nuzzling his nose into the ticklish area of his brother s nape.
You re such a tasteful, delectable treat, my little brother. Sam responded, his voice dripping with desire. Vin smiled, shaking his head.
What s that supposed to mean? he asked with a laugh.
That I wish to eat you. Sam slunk down Vin s body and kissed on his inner thigh, coming along the tender spot on the topmost skin of his groin. Vin moaned, kicking his legs back and forth so that the cloth wrapped around them was tossed aside, though they remained in their little shelter.
Mmmm Am I that tasty? he asked breathily, wanting to know how badly his brother desired his salty excretion.
Very. I m going to eat all of you up said Sam as he slipped his tongue out to lick up the large vein running along the underside of Vin s p***s.
And then you ll be fat. Vin gasped just barely. J-jerk
Sam didn t answer, now gripping the length with his free hand and holding him straight before his mouth where he licked, sucked and gently bit the sensitive skin. Sighing through his nose, he opened his mouth and placed the head in it, though refrained from any contact, only letting his hot breath descend over it. He looked back up at Vin, who was writhing back and forth passionately. Sam moved away, smiling. Vin stared at him down his quickly rising and falling chest, which is what the other wanted. With his brother s attention, Sam returned to the place of pleasure and placed his mouth back around the end, this time closing his lips around it, encasing it in his sultry affection.
Vincent groaned outright, tossing his head back. Sam had stopped holding him down a while ago, an entirely different reason keeping him trapped under the sheets, which fluttered around them now as Sam s head moved up and down along his rigidity. But Vin continued to watch when he could, finding it absolutely erotic to see that succulent mouth sighing and closing around his already weeping member. They locked gazes, Sam s startling eyes piercing up through the dim light seeping through the sheets and honed on Vin s hazels. His head rose and fell, pushed in and pulled out in a constant motion while his fingers slid further down to please the dangling appendages underneath, now solid and tensed. His ring finger met with Vin inside and stroked at his prostate.
The combined pleasures were almost too much for Vincent, and his chest shuttered. N-nah .. G-God . He barely got out, his voice caught in his throat and unable to move. Then, quite suddenly, he sat up, the sheets sinking into his mouth as he inhaled a loud, abrupt gasp and he grabbed onto Sam s hair, squeezing it painfully. With a buck of his hips, he came fully and greatly into Sam s waiting orfice, the liquid unable to keep trapped during the younger male s sudden movement, and sliding out of the sides of the pleasure-giving lips, dripping down the jolting anatomy. Vin fell back down, his body still tense with orgasm, chest heaving, hair sticking to his sweaty face. Sam coughed a bit, surprised by the impulsive explosion in his mouth and how it nearly went down the wrong tube. The clear, gooey fluid dribbled down his chin, and he wiped it away before any more could drip onto Vin, who s stomach was shaking and seized with tautness.
Kissing Vin s bellybutton, Sam impelled his tongue out and let the emission slid along it and into the small crater in the center of his flat stomach. Vin shivered heavily.
Augh, no he struggled for a breath and Sam smiled. He was proud of his little brother, the brave trooper. Moving up, he forgot the mess and kissed his brother hotly on the lips, sinking his salty, musty tongue into the open, panting mouth waiting for him.
Vin s body was lit up, delving in the sensations that seemed heightened by ten times, making every touch and kiss enormously sensitive on the rest of him. He shuddered with Sam s slick, flavorful tongue as it entered and slid under his, bringing it back into the harbor of Sam s mouth, where he sucked on it. A-ah .
Mm, pretty tasty, wouldn t you say? Sam whispered with a smile after the lustful kiss was broken. What do you think?
Finally, the younger male was able to conjure up a bit of his sanity back. I think he said at length, getting his breath under control. You should do that more often.
What? And risk choking to death? Sam teased, very pleased that Vin had like that so much, and kissed his neck, then his jaw, finally licking the inner shell of his ear. Mmmh You tasted better than anything I ve ever had. He continued to whisper wonderful things into Vin s ear as they slowly started moving around again under the steaming covers, telling him how scrumptious his flavor was, and how luscious his voice sounded when it summoned his name. Sometimes he d murmur a lewd comment or two, giving in to Vin s compulsory cravings.
What do you think when I am not here to satisfy you? Sam breathed into Vin s ear while he ran his hand along the teen s stomach. He surprised himself by finding that his bawdy ruse was even turning him on.
Vince was sniggering a bit, tickled by the hot breath on his ear, and playfully pushed at Sam s chest. He loved it when Sam was this way with him. Oh, nothing. I m never without satisfaction.
Now Sam was curious. Really, what do you think? He asked while nipping his brother s nose, just the tip. Vin snorted, an attractive pink hitting his cheek.
You really want to know?
Yes Tell me your fantasies, little sinner. He crept down his body again and Vin hissed through his teeth.
Well he began a bit embarrassedly, watching Sam s tongue dance around his bellybutton, still sticky from earlier. I like to imagine you have me pinned against a wall. He admitted. Sam looked up, smiling.
Really?
He nodded, face more red still. Yeah You ve got your d**k in my a**, and two of your fingers, and you are ******** me He stopped, itching his cheek with a pointer finger as his brother made the usual Don t cuss or you re getting grounded face (not that Vin had ever been grounded in his life). Er, you re railing me really hard, and He didn t want to go on, already embarrassed.
That s what you think when you think of me? Sam asked slowly, staring up at him, appalled. Vin turned crimson and kicked Sam s shoulder hard.
Jerk! Fine, what do you think when you re jerking the carrot to the thought of me? he demanded, making Sam laugh outright.
When I m jerking the carrot? he asked. Is that what you kids come up with these days?
That s not funny. Tell me. I told you my secret, so you tell me yours. Vin demanded, folding his arms and looking away. Sam paused to come back up and lay on top of his brother.
You want to hear? Vin nodded and Sam smiled, resting his face against the pillow under Vin s shoulder, and gazing happily at him. I like to think of us at the ranch house, in that big old bed I used to have. It s morning and we re taking turns kissing each other and finding the sensitive places, the ticklish spots, the pleasurable areas. Vin hooted with laughter then, interrupting him.
That s it?! he cackled, kicking his legs up and down. Just that?
Sam smiled smally, a bit apologetic. I m sorry if it s not like your kinky wall sex.
Really, that s your fantasy? Dude, we can do that any old time, how is that some wish? That s lame. Vin shook his head, still with chuckles, and Sam revengefully pinched his n****e, making him yelp.
It s not lame, it s just not your perverted dream. d**k and two fingers, honestly He said defensively, though he still smiled and got to shaking his head. His own wasn t that great, he d fully admit, and Vin was probably turned off by the idea of a calm night. He sighed. Fine, there is more. He admitted and that caught Vin s attention, but not before he took another crack at him.
What? We re feeding pigeons in the park?
Don t be persnickety, Vin.
Persnickety? Vin scoffed and simply erupted with laughter.
It s one at my office. We re there after closing hours, everyone has gone home. You come over after school, and you re wearing a cute little pair of black underwear under your clothes, just small little things. Sam interrupted Vin s laughter, looking him straight in the eye intensely. His voice got stronger and quicker the more he went on. You start a little strip tease, you re crawling over my desk, biting and licking your lips, curling your finger at me. You climb in my lap, pull on my tie. We kiss hotly, aggressively, intensely and your tongue belongs to me. You put my tie on and play pet with me, which I argue to, but you re so insistant, Vin, you re begging me.
Sam had Vincent s full attention, his russet eyes wide, mouth open. There was no laughter on his face anymore.
You beseech me to give it to you, Sam continued powerfully, his voice rocking the boy. So at last I ll comply, but slowly, and you re screaming, you can t stop. I love it when you scream, it drives me wild! So I tell you louder, louder, and finally it shatters the glass pencil jar on my desk while I m pounding into you, papers flying and wood creaking loudly. We re fornicating, Vin, we re doing it hard. He stopped, breathless.
Vin stared up at his brother, mouth having moved from split to agape. He didn t know what fornicating meant, but it sounded dirty and it sounded hot. This fantasy, it was much more erotic. It had Vincent s body aching. But there was only one thing he didn t like about it. Shattering the glass? he asked skeptically.
Sam s face broke out into a smile. It s a fantasy, Vin, there s always going to be a willing suspension of disbelief.
They laughed together, the hot tension in their tent dissipating some. It was Christmas morning, and the brothers stayed in bed all day, revealing their secret places, pleasurable areas, sensitive spots while their deep inner fantasies became more real. Vin ended up getting his wish when Sam posted him against the kitchen refrigerator while they were hunting for milk and cookies, and then they hit the kitchen floor until they d managed to get not just two fingers in together. Sorry Santa, no cookies for you.
It wasn t Christmas the day it happened, but a week later, Vin went out after school and bought a small pair of black underwear.
There was a creak at the door and Vince ignored it, knowing just who it was. He didn t want to see his court ordered guardian; the evil woman working for Them that assigned him to all those horrible boarding houses and finally brought him here. She would come in every week at about this time and try to talk him into a new deal. She was the It ll better your conditions so you can finally move on, all you have to do is sign here and I ll get a paycheck so big I could buy whatever I want, like the Lamborghini Gelada that s parked right out side, making the rain look like ******** mud lady and he d give his usual refusal, which sounded a lot like Truck Blue , and She would leave for another employer that She would undoubtedly torture as She did him.
You haven t been taking the Cymbalta lately, can you explain that? She said first thing and he put his hand out the window. It dripped on the floor as he brought it back in, a puddle already cultivated there. Her hands were probably clasped around that leather, buckle-up binder She always carried that had all his records and files in it, 99.9% over the last year, as his troubles hadn t started until then.
Why won t you take your medication? She insisted and he wanted so badly to be flying out the window like the worsening storm. Maybe She would get in a car wreck on Her way from this place and he wouldn t have to deal with Her or Her stupid car anymore.
I don t need it. He said dispassionately and he could practically hear Her rolling Her eyes behind those stupid horn-rimmed glasses with their little fake jewels. He wanted to break them.
Yes, you do. You re clinically depressed, Vincent, and you ve started missing sleep because of it. Restoril isn t cheap. And you re violent. You won t explain the fights you ve gotten into, the boy you put in a hospital.
Maybe if I was with Sam, I wouldn t be this way. he said, but She cut him off half way through sharply because he d said this many times to Her before.
Vincent, I go through hundreds of domestic abuse cases like yours a day, and I always hear the same thing. She said, pulling statistics on him. Rarely does a case ever heal.
That s all he was to Her. Another case. He hated Her for that.
She didn t seem to notice. You were a victim of incestual abuse for nearly your entire life, and since you and Samner refuse to cooperate, we can only assume it started before your father died and left you alone with him.
You assume like an idiot. He snapped, finally turning to look at Her, vehemence dripping from every pore in his face. Sam loves me, and I willingly love him. We didn t even have sex until I was sixteen!
She only nodded, like this was expected. Yes, Vincent, most statutory rapists as close with their victims as you two were have a boundary statement that allows them to gain satisfaction from the unattainable. Samner was holding off for his own fantasies to
His name is Sam! Vince yelled, throwing his fists down and scattering droplets of water. You stupid b***h, he loved me! You just can t seem to get that in your head, that he might have actually loved his little brother!
This is subtly connected to what we call Stockholm Syndrome
******** you! ******** you and your stupid ******** nametags for everything! I am not crazy and I m not some stupid ******** victim! I. Want. To. See. Sam.
She only stared hard at him, unaffected by his language or antics. Snapping Her leather buckle-up briefcase, She stood. I can see your condition has not changed, nor has it improved by any means. I m concerned and disappointed. She said, sounding like she could care more about superglue manufacturing. I shall see you for your last hearing on the fourteenth before you are sent to the Mercy Adult Treatment Center in Texas. This saddens me, Vincent. You could have escaped your dark past, but you still refuse to take part in your healing. You ll wish you d tried harder in the future. She turned on one of Her sharp heals and pulled open the door. Vin gave a short three step chase.
I m not ******** sick! You can t do this! He already felt like crying, sobbing in fact. She was gone finally, but what she d left him with was worse than her evil presence. Texas? That was all the way across the country! How could Sam find him, come save him if he was institutionalized in Texas?! Oh God... Sam... He went to his tiny bed with its squeaky hinge and its painful springs, and he leapt onto it. More like collapsed. Saaaam he moaned, crying hard into his doctored arms. Doctored they were, like everything else in his life. When would They realize he wasn t crazy? That all he needed was his brother s love to be fixed? He hated Them, he loathed Them. If he could, he d kill every single one of Them with his own hands. Or perhaps he d drug Them with his pills, give Them a taste of Their own medicine for real. Look what they did! They made him think this way, imagine all these violent endings for Them! They were causing more harm than They were subduing it. But he already knew that, didn t he?
Vin s tears dried quickly because he d rebuilt himself to have little waterworks. It was something They looked for here, a breakdown, a emotional split, but he wouldn t give this hunt any satisfaction, no, he would fight until the end. He was a sole survivor, and he wouldn t let Them take his spirit, not ever. Sitting up on the lukewarm sheets, Vin reached over to the corner of his mattress and lifted it. Beneath lay a rather crumpled piece of pink, folded paper. He carefully unwedged it from between the springs.
Opening his palm, he let the little origami crane sit upright in his hand. His eyes softened as he looked over the beautifully perfected craft. He took it to the window with him. Can you fly? He whispered to it, holding it close to his chest now as he stared outward at the world that was so free. Peeking through the cracks of his hands, he gazed downward upon the crane, its edges a little worn from travel, but cared for none the less. Sam s little creation, his doing; that was what this piece was. Vin smiled a bit in thought, holding it to his chest again. He knew what was written inside it, the sweet words that got him through the harshest of days. Vin plus Sam The boy murmured and the rain seemed to repeat the three syllables back to him, pattering down on the cement sill on the outside of the bars. Vin plus
Sam.
The oldest brother turned in his seat, looking over his square glasses at Vin in the doorway. You said something? The younger nodded and came into the den, his hoodie dirty and worn, the elbows patched repeatedly from the skids he d taken on his skateboard, which was under one arm at the moment.
Yeah I m going out with some friends. Vin stated, talking oddly quiet with his hand in his pocket while he sniffed. It was pretty cold outside, this autumn.
Didn t you just get home? His brother asked, frowning a bit while his eyes searched Vin up and down. The other shrugged. Where are you going?
Nowhere
You re going nowhere with your friends? Sam asked slowly. He waved a hand, swinging back to the desk in his seat. Well, by all means, have fun doing that. Vin didn t smile. Sam stopped, realizing there was something very amiss about his little brother.
Vin, what s wrong? He asked gently. Vin looked down at his muddy skate shoes, lifting the toes and rocking back on his heels like he did when he was ashamed of himself or nervous. His brother noticed this, watching the younger teeter before dropping his toes back down on the carpet. Bits of dirt and dried mud fell off, but Sam made no comment.
I have a date tonight. Vin said quietly, looking off at the right wall of the office, biting his tongue. His hat pushed his thick blond hair down around his face, and the shorter bangs over his eyes, which he used now to shield them from his older brother s obviously surprised stare.
You have a date? Sam asked after a term of silence between them, and he stared with his mouth slightly open at Vin, hardly daring to believe what he said.
Yup
Vin you re saying you have a date with someone. An actual date. It was hard to tell if it was a question or not, but it was apparent that whatever Sam had expected, it was not this. Vin now slouched with his hands in his pockets and one toe digging into the carpet while he chewed the inside of his lips and looked off.
Yeah, I guess I am. Vin answered, finally turning to look at Sam, and his very brown hazel eyes were somber, depressed. Sam recognized one of his little brother s lows in an instant, and figured out quite quickly that the date most likely happened by one of Vin s straight friends. Seeing as Vin never had girlfriends or went on dates, it was hard for his friends to understand what was wrong with him, and it earned the teen plenty of teases and jokes. Sam knew this because Vin explained this several times and seemed a bit confused by it. But Sam told him time after time that this is how Vin had chosen for it to be. To have your brother as a lover would affect your outside life, which is why they couldn t let it become part of it.
I see Who are you going with?
Becky Hornworst.
Sam paused. Is she pretty? Vin looked up, seeming a bit surprised at the comment from his brother. He slowly shrugged and pulled a hand out of his pocket to level it and wobble it back and forth in a so-so manner. Is she smart? Another shrug and mediocre motion of the hand. .Is she easy? Vin nodded. I see.
There was another nerve of silence between the two brothers, the older looking up at the younger from his desk. His glasses were now off and sitting on his papers, his expression hard to read. Vin continued to look everywhere else but at him. Finally, Sam gave a quite cluck with his tongue. Well, enjoy yourself, Vin. If she s not intelligent, I suppose I don t have much competition.
You re ******** joking, right? Vin stated blankly, but he looked irritated. You don t actually think I m going because I think she s easy and I can have sex with her, do you?
It was Sam s turn to look surprised. Of course not, Vin, I was being mordant. He motioned for Vincent with his hand and the younger shuffled over, hunched in his jacket with his hands in the pockets, leaving his skateboard behind on the floor. Sam pulled him down into his lap and placed a kiss on his cheek. You don t have to feel so unhappy, Vin. It s alright if you go on dates. I know you still love me.
Yeah, but I mean, if I go on dates, then you could go on dates, and I don t want you going on dates Vin mumbled, staring at his shoes again. Sam smiled gently and ran his hand under the back of Vin s hat, through his hair.
I m not the dating type. He said kindly. It s fine, really. Life is hard when you re a teen, I know. I raised you all by myself when I was your age, don t you remember? But I ve loved you from the start and there s nothing like a silly date that s going to change anything. Alright?
Vin didn t answer for a while, tapping his toes together while he contemplated this. Sam in the mean time, hugged him softly around the shoulders and kissed a bare patch on his neck . Besides he whispered. I know that none of those high school girls can match me in the bedroom. The younger brother finally cracked a smile and shook his head at his brother.
Don t get cocky. He warned and Sam shrugged.
What can I say? I m just a beast like that. Vin laughed again.
Okay, totally don t say that.
Why not?
SOOO uncool. They both chuckled together, snuggling close. Vin sighed. You know, I really don t wanna go Honest.
I believe you, Sam replied softly, his forehead in Vin s temple. But you re a teenager, I want you to have a good time. Go out on the date, have fun, enjoy yourself. You don t have to kiss her at the end of the night, and who knows? Maybe you two will end up as friends.
Vin was unconvinced. Uh, I m pretty sure the only friends she has are the ones with special benefits. Sam rolled his eyes.
Fine. He turned them both a little in the seat and reached over his shoulder to pick up a small sheet of scrap paper from his desk and a pen. The paper was pink, copy manual he used at work for the regimen sheets, but he didn t notice the color, and instead used Vin s leg as a desk, writing something on the paper. I remember while we were growing up in this apartment, just you and I, me barely nineteen and you such a cute kid You wore those huge, dirty, smelly sweatshirts. He sniffed Vin s jacket and smiled teasingly, then continued to redraw over what he d written on the paper, thickening the letters. Still do. Anyway, no matter where we were, you always found a way to write Vin + Sam on something he drew over the words as he spoke them before showing it to his little brother. Vin took it from his brothers hands and smiled smally at it, remembering just how he did that. He still did sometimes, like at school when he was bored, but he had to be careful lest someone read it. Sam looked at the paper as well, his smile fond and nostalgic.
No matter where You had to write it. Almost as if you were afraid you d forget.
More afraid you d forget. Vin said quietly and continued to stare at his brother s neat, perfect handwriting. The two words above and below the plus sign, he recalled writing it everywhere. Everywhere. He just wanted to make sure his older brother kept in mind that he loved him, and that they were supposed to be together forever. Just the two of them, like always.
Sam watched the paper still, resting his chin on the others shoulder. And I never did Gently he took the paper away, though Vin was reluctant to give it up, but he assured the teen he d give it back. Slipping the paper between his long fingers, the ones so used to typing or gently stroking over his brother s skin, he creased it and began to fold it. Vince watched with fascination as the older male began to form the small square into a shape, its form bending back and forth while Sam recreated it. Finally, Sam opened his palm and in it sat a pink paper crane, its wings folded out as if ready for flight. Vin took it gently.
Take it with you. Sam murmured, wrapping his arms snuggly around Vin s waist. So that you always remember like I did And promise now that you ll always fly home to me
Vin wished he could fly home now. But there were these bars here and he was trapped in a lukewarm room with no one to hold him or care. No one that gave a damn. Hadn t Sam always told him he could fly home to him? That their house was the safe haven, the sanctuary Vin could always return to, seeing as it was the only place that allowed their love to flourish. Yes, Sam said just that, and many times so that his little brother would never forget. It wasn t like Vin was going to, though. No, he was holding on to every little piece of Sam he had left, for that was his only sanity.
It was nearly a year now, and he hadn t even seen his brother once. It was tearing him apart inside and out. First the schools, which he failed out of, then it was the detention centers, which he broke out of, and now it was here. And it seemed that there was no way out of this one, because every time They sent him to some place worse. Now it was to Texas, where he d surely never ever see his brother again. His lover. The man of his life, the only reason he kept on living. Or tried to, but sometimes things got to him, like three days ago when he d broken his therapists glasses and used the frames to try and stab his own wrists and neck to forever be with his pending doom. They d fixed him, which he hated, and now he was left to pick up the remnants of his ruined life and try to find a safe place to put them. But there was no safe place, not here at this hospital. So he projected his last feelings and final hopes onto this little paper bird. The one Sam had given to him.
He looked out at the rain, feeling like it was going to be the last time, and again, he wished he were a raindrop. Then he might find his way back home to Sam. Thinking of his brother s face, Vin slowly uncurled his hand from around the paper crane that bore he and Sam s names, that held his ultimate resorts in it, and reached out his window with it squeezed between his fingers. And then he began to cry. Promise now that you ll always fly home to me
I m sorry, Sam I can t He sobbed, tears spilling down his cheeks to meet with the rain droplets at his feet. The hand stopped protecting the bird from the weather and slowly turned over, casting long strings of water down his arm. The pink crane seemed to fly for just an instant before fluttering away from the window, away from Vin, and to the ground, where it landed in a puddle of rain and melted into a soft pulp of memories.