DISCLAIMER: Doc Martin characters belong to Buffalo pictures, I'm just playing with them.

Chapter Four

"Well, that was good. Now go home and think about what we were talking, and PLEASE children, keep your voices down. Don't let the anger win, it's not constructive" Ruth said in a patronizing manner, then went to the door and show them the exit. "Come on, let me take a break." Martin and Louisa looked at each other uncomfortably, but out they went.

Rut poured a good glass of Large whisky and took seat in a comfy armchair and tried hard to stop worrying about her nephew and his messed love life.

Martin and Louisa didn't talk in their way to the surgery. Once there she went upstairs to freshen up, and Martin prepared himself a cup of coffee. Mel arrived with James Henry that moment. They talked about James day briefly, and Mel left the Ellingham household submitted in a strange silence; even James was quiet, like sensing his parents' mood. Martin played a little with him, while Louisa cooked their dinner.

Louisa decided to make a compromise of any kind to open the dialog and decided to cook a healthy fish meal. She tried to light her spirit, and put the radio on, but in a low volume, to not bother Martin. She was determined to get this sorted. The two of them (three, with James) deserved to be happy, so she was willing to compromise.

The food was ready so she called Martin and James to the table. The two men was annoyed to being interrupted in their playing time, but they were hungry, so they washed their hands and then sat at the table. Martin was surprised about the meal, Louisa was used to fight with him about it and after the afternoon debacle he though that she would cook the less healthy supper ever, he was expecting a full of carb pasta with a fatty sauce or something like that.

Louisa cut James' fish on his tray "Were you having fun with daddy sweetheart?"

James looked at Martin and smiled to him with his mouth full of fish, and Louisa laughed at Martin's face, it was a perfect mix of disgust and pleasure. Martin stared at her. "Yes, we had fun". He knew now, Louisa was trying to ease up things with him. He needed to meet her halfway. He decided to try to talk about the hemophobia with her after dinner. He remembered the first time he do that, and, thinking about it, maybe it was was a good thing. In fact, he didn't vomit in that ambulance with his fingers tucked in the Cronk boy, covered entirely with blood. And it was Louisa's eyes the last thing he saw before putting all his attention at the task in hand.

Martin realized that he was better now reading Louisa's expressions and moods. He used to ask her sometimes if some matter was making her happy, but now he was aware of a more complete rang off her personal features. She seemed calm and troubled now, and something was telling him that she was open to listen. He also realized (and Ruth should be proud of him) that was not the time for calories and fats, which was another battle, one he wasn't prepared to lose yet.

Louisa was upstairs, putting James to sleep but in her mind was Martin and only Martin. She wasn't satisfied with the outcome of the discussion with Ruth. She resolve to light things a bit, she knew Martin, he needed to know that she doesn't going to let him down. She needed to be clear about that. She went downstairs in a good mood, determined to talk calmly.

Martin was in the sofa, reading a journal.

"Do you want some wine?" She said trying to maintain a straight face at Martin's bewilderment.

"What? I don't drink! You know that!"

Louisa couldn't stand it and started to laugh. She knew, it was a way to unwind her nervousness. Martin instead, was astonished. "Why are you laughing like this?"

"I'm sorry, i'm sorry, it was a joke" she said trying to regain composure.

"I don't understand"

"I know. It was just me, trying to cheer up things between us" she said still smiling. "Really, Martin, we could use some good laugh don't you think? Coffee, then?"

"Hmm"

"I'll have a cup of tea, It will be ok?"

"It will be better than alcohol, if is that what you're asking"

Louisa carried the beverages to the sofa, and offered Martin the coffee. She made sure to touch his hand when he took the cup, and their eyes meet. His gaze where concerned but calm.

"I'm sorry" He said quietly, but looking directly in her eyes.

"Why are you sorry Martin?"

"I don't know. Everything. This. This afternoon. I don't know" Now he was looking down, and his cheeks were flushed.

"I see" Louisa answered. "Do you want me to elaborate? Or do you prefer to try?"

Martin just grunted. He didn't want any of that talk, but he knew that wasn't possible. He waited for Louisa talked.

"Well, first thing, i'm sorry that i was angry with you today. I've been thinking, and maybe you were right about some things, you know?" Martin looked at her.

"Maybe i should eat better" Louisa said with a tiny smile.

"Yes, you should"

"But Martin, what I said was true, you know? about being worried" She deliberately avoided talking about the other issues. "Remember the first time you talked with me about the blood thing? I remember every word, you know. You told me that time that was 'a minor anxiety disorder resulting from overexposure to a high-pressure environment'. So, i'm worried because this is your environment now. Am I pushing you too hard? Are you overexposed to the village? What do you think?"

Martin was amazed about her memory. He didn't remember telling her that, but he knew that were his words. It was the way he always think, as if it were written in a book, no feelings, no analysing it. It made things less painful, easier to cope with.

"It's embarrassing, you know? The stupid phobia, I mean. I was denying it, that time at the ambulance. I'm amazed you remembered my words, i'd prefer you doesn't. It's not you. Ruth was right, is not your fault, it's... i don't know… maybe i should try the breathing thing again, or a new therapy. it's just.. i don't like it."

Louisa didn't want to interrupt him, he was talking with cloudy eyes, looking far away. There was a short silence, then Martin kept talking absently. "There is no pressure, i suppose. Sometimes is too much responsibility, the villagers I mean, they never do what i say. But then one do the right thing, and get well, and i can't stop this… mmm.. feeling, you know?" He looked directly to Louisa's face, like remembering that she was there. She seemed calm but attentive to each of his words. He got silent for a while.

"Feeling?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yes. Mel, for example, she was very worried for her husband. She helped to get him well, she did what i said and collaborated with me. I liked that. I like Mel then?"

"Mel is very nice, it it would be good that you like her. James loves her, indeed"

"Yes" Martin got absent again. "But i don't like people, how can it be?"

Louisa looked at him trying to follow his thoughts "I'm sorry Martin, you lost me"

"I don't know what to do with that" He looked at her again "I don't know how to react."

"I see" She didn't continue talking, to let him to elaborate.

"I know what to do if someone doesn't do what I say, but the other way…"

"Well, i think you actually know, you're very nice with me sometimes, if i eat all my fish" She said in a mocking tone. "Maybe you could think what you do with me when I'm good" She smiled and looked at him.

Martin took the hint and flushed intensely "Louisa!"

She laughed and went to hug him. "You certainly know how to react now" and kissed his neck.

"Oh" he sighed "But we were talking"

"I know, I just wanted to be nice with you" she said still smiling and hugging him. "I love you, you know that, don't you?" She released him ant took seat again, now close to him, touching the side of Martin's body with hers.

Martin looked at her, the down his eyes to the floor. "Yes. I know" He said this very softly, almost inaudibly.

Louisa realised that maybe she should touch him more often, nothing too suggestive, maybe some kiss every morning and every afternoon, take his hand, and things like that, Martin always seemed to relish her touch. For a moment she remembered Dr. Timoney and shuddered. But she was resolved to make him feel loved and supported.

Martin could feel Louisa's warm body, and said too her softly, looking in her eyes "I didn't mean to hurt you, i didn't want you feel that you are not my equal, my partner, I'll do better, i promise."

Louisa's heart just melted. "I knew that under that underneath that gruff, monosilabic and rude surface there was a well meaning Man" She said smiling. "I knew it since the first time I saw you… well, maybe since the second time" she chuckled.

Martin kissed her. "I'm tired. Do you mind if i go to bed now?"

"I don't mind, may i join you?"

They went to bed together. That night all of them slept well.