Thoughts: I know, I know, I said Doll wasn't my priority, and I JUST updated this. But it's so much easier to write Kendall's point DIRECTLY after writing Logan's because I know what he's thinking.

I knew what he was up to. I was kind of stalking. But I couldn't help it. The more Doll wanted me to stay away, the more I wanted to get closer to him. I fucking missed the shit out of that kid, and he didn't even care, and all I wanted to do was get him to fucking see how much I wanted to be with him. All the fucking time. He never even left my mind, and it scared me because I'd never even thought of anyone else.

Doll was at the market, run by that old geezer Mr. Langston, and he was getting milk, and I saw him coming out of the store and I couldn't help but smile as he noticeably sucked on what appeared to be kit kat bars.

I followed him for about three minutes before he turned around and noticed me, and I just smiled at him, not sure what to do.

"Are you stalking?" he asked, noticeable attitude in his voice.

I just laughed at him and explained myself, "Naw, I've only been following you for five minutes."

"You're stalking," I he repeated.

"I'm not," I said with a quick shrug.

"Then what the hell do you want?" he snapped. I'd never really heard him this snappy and full of attitude, and I wasn't exactly liking it, but I didn't want to make myself look like an ass, or do anything to piss him off worse. I wanted him to realize I was on his side.

I shrugged, not knowing what to say. I didn't necessarily want to just blurt out what I wanted from him. Especially on the public sidewalks, even if we were alone.

"Well, if you don't mind leaving me the fuck alone, that'd be fantastic."

"Oh, come on, Doll, you can't avoid me forever. You can't hate me forever for the past."

"Um, yeah, I can, and yeah, I will."

"You love me," I said, fully believing it. "You loved all those things I did to you because I made you the person you are. You can't deny loving every minute of the attention the guys and I gave you."

His eyes rolled. "How many times do I have to remind you that you tried to kill me?"

"I only came close, like, three times. And I knew how to save you." I did save him. I was like fucking Batman, alright? Sure, I was like the Joker first, but eventually, I was Batman.

"I almost froze to death. My feet were black for three weeks and I couldn't even walk."

"You're walking now just fine," I noticed.

"Kendall, can't you just leave me alone? I don't want to think about the past, okay?"

"So let it the fuck go. You can't change what happened."

"No, but I'm not going back to it."

"I'm not saying you are. I'm saying let it go. Forget about it. Don't fucking dwell on it and ignore me. You obviously grew a pair since then, so why don't you fucking suck it up and stop ignoring me all the damn time?"

I just wanted Doll to grow up a little. I mean, I knew I had, and I wasn't nearly as bad as I had been, but he was acting like a stubborn brat. I didn't like it. I wished he was more like me and could just let things go, forgive and forget.

"It's been two weeks since I talked to you. I've been gone for years. You've clearly been doing just fine without me, so, continue on as if I'm not here."

I smirked because he looked like he actually believed what he'd said. "I can't do that," I said, honestly, knowing that I wasn't going to let myself lose him again. "Do you know what I been thinking about since you left?"

"How many guesses do I get?"

"None," I said firmly. I wasn't playing games, and I wanted him to know that. "Doll, if you want to move on from the past, then move on. The only way to do that is by letting the past go."

"Um, yeah, so I let my guard down, forgive you for a second and when my back is turned, bam! There's a knife in it? No thanks, Kendall. This doesn't sit well with me. We can't be friends, we can't be acquaintances, we can't be classmates. You do you, I'll do me, and we'll stay the fuck out of each other's ways till we graduate, and I leave, and you'll never have to see me ever again."

My heart started to hurt a little when he said it. I hesitated, not knowing what to say. "…but I want to see you."

"Too bad, so sad."

"Come on, Logan, don't fucking be a pussy ass bitch," my voice rose a little. I didn't know what to say to make his head thin out, for him to at least look at my picture, at how I was viewing this. I was nervous. I was kind of scared.

"I'm not the one begging for forgiveness here."

"What can I do to prove to you that I've changed?"

"Why the fuck do you want to! Huh! It doesn't matter to me, don't you get that! You can change a thousand times, Kendall Knight, and nothing would even matter because I can't fucking forgive you for everything you've done to me."

I was definitely at a loss of words for that one. All I wanted was that forgiveness, for the past…ever I just wanted him to forgive me and to be on my side, or at least let me on his side. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to say, and as he turned to walk away, I panicked, saying, "You're the only person I've ever known that's left Jackson. You keep coming back for a reason, Doll."

"I'm forced," he said tonelessly. "That's the only fucking reason."

I couldn't just believe this when it was the complete opposite of everything I had been believing in. "I don't think it is," I said finally.

"What do you think the reason is, then?"

"You're still standing here, talking to me."

He laughed heartlessly. "One day, Kendall, you'll realize that my life doesn't revolve around you. The world doesn't revolve around you."

"Then why are you still here?"

"…I don't even know." He popped a kit kat into his mouth casually, and he looked annoyed. Then he said, quite loudly, "I don't know what else to say to get it through your big fat fucking head to realize that I will not forgive you!"

Again, I just didn't allow myself to believe this. "You will, though," I encouraged.

"Give me three reasons, Kendall! Okay? Three fucking reasons why I should ever even consider forgiving you."

I shifted my eyes. "One should be enough: because I fucking love you."

He fell silent in the momentary pause, and he shook his head, and shrugged a shoulder. "You don't."

I nodded, "Yeah, I do."

"No. You. Don't."

"I do. Logan, I love you."

He dropped the contents in his hands and before I knew it, he was shoving me into a the brick wall. "You fucking don't!" He screamed rather loudly right in my face. "Okay? Leave me the fuck alone! Seriously, I hate you! I FUCKING HATE YOU, KENDALL KNIGHT!"

He let me go and stared at me, as if patiently waiting for me to swing at him. I didn't want to fight him, I didn't want to hurt him, I just wanted this to be over. I just wanted to fast forward to the happy ending. He glared at me. I couldn't hate him, but I could deny everything he said. "…you don't hate me."

He growled loudly, and it made my heart shake in my chest. "Yeah. I really do."

Then, he started hitting me, punching me. I felt my teeth slam into my lip and slice it open. He punched my nose, and I swung back trying to get him off me. I got him good once and I felt bad; I tried to be as easy as I could…he was, after all, the baby doll, I'd always thought he was fragile. I wanted nothing but gentileness, but that was kind of hard when you had this tough little shit beating you up.

When he got me good in the stomach, I swung and hit him in the eye, and he collapsed to the ground, laid there for a moment, and scooted to the wall, resting his back against it. I sat down next to him trying to catch my breath. Why are you fighting with me, Doll?"

"Don't call me that," he said viciously. My heart sank to my chest. I'd always called him Doll, usually. That was his name, this motherfucker had introduced himself to me as, "Hi, I'm Doll." I didn't like not calling him that, but his wish was my command.

"Okay, Logan, why are you fighting?"

"If your brain is too slow to process it, we've stopped fighting! Why are you still here? Just go already."

"Come on, what if I gave you a concussion." his eye was pretty bad and I felt bad.

"I'm a-o-fucking-kay."

I sighed and stood up, gathering the things he'd dropped on the ground. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

"Fuck off, Kendall."

"You're living at James's uncle's place, right?" I knew where it was, and I started to walk.

He eventually followed me, keeping a short distance. I allowed him to.

"I really hate you," he kept saying, "I wish I never met you. You're awful. You're mean. you're rotten. You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I wish you were dead. I can't believe you. You're so selfish. You're a fucking asshole."

He insulted me the whole way home. It really stung, but I felt like I'd deserved it, after all I had done to him. I didn't want this to bother me. I wanted him to say whatever it was that he had to say, and I was quite nervous that he wouldn't ever forgive me.

"You're a douche bag. Wait, by saying that, I've insulted a douche bag."

I've never heard that one before.

"You're a cock-licking…"

Yeah, I lick cock sometimes.

"…penis-loving…"

I'm gay. Obviously I love penis. In my mouth.

"malicious…"

That's clever.

"…narcissistic…"

What the fuck does that mean?

"…idiotic…"

That's a good one.

"… repulsive…"

Sounds like my sister's hair when she first wakes up.

"…disgusting…"

That's probably true on select occasions.

"… creature. You're vile, and pathetic, and cruel, and heartless."

Vile and pathetic? Yeah. That could be true, guess. Heartless? Not always.

By the time we got to the apartment, I turned to him and said, "Okay. Are you finished now?"

I tried to keep commentary on everything he said in for comic effect. It worked for me, so, whatever.

"I could go on forever," he snapped, and the way his silloutte looked in the dark, the way his face contoured under the moon, I couldn't resist him. I couldn't take hearing any more of his insults, I'd run out of comments, and when he opened his mouth to proceed his insultations, I did the most logical thing and kissed him.

When he kissed me back, I knew I still had hope. He pulled away first.

"Have you forgiven me yet?" I asked.

His voice was less harsh than it had been all night. "It's not that easy, Kendall."

"Sure it is." I encouraged.

"You can't just waltz over here, walk me home, kiss me, and expect everything to be okay."

"But it is okay!" I said, it being my turn to be a little frustrated. "Logan, since you've been back, I haven't done anything wrong. Like I said, it's all in the past. And you're right, I'm begging you for forgiveness." He got down on his knees, placing the milk and eggs gently next to him. "I'm literally begging you. I'm not sorry for it, but I'm begging you to forgive me, and I'm promising I'm never going to put you in danger. Well, purposefully anyway. I'll do anything to prove myself to you."

He shook his head. He was clearly reluctant to forgive me. "…I can't…I just…can't."

I didn't understand, and he couldn't make me.

But, at the same time, he didn't understand me, and I didn't know if he ever could.

I gave him space.

I didn't feel like I had a choice anymore, ya know? Like, he was all I wanted, I just wanted him to be happy. I knew the day I met him I wanted him in my life forever, but like I said, he was fragile. I wanted to toughen him up, and I wasn't sure if it was me that did it exactly, but it happened. Doll was tougher than he'd ever been before and I didn't know if I liked it anymore.

I wondered how many times I could have apologized without him forgiving me. I wondered what the fuck would have happened if I never did any of those things, where we would all be. I wondered if he would like Jackson, Minnesota. I knew I was the reason he hated the fucking place. All I wanted to do was call him by that pet name, suck him in irresistibly. I wanted to at least confuse him about me. I wanted to torture him every time I saw him, I wanted to get him as addicted to me as I was to him. I wanted him to want me more and more.

And if giving him space was what I had to do, then so be it. There would be a time where Batman was needed without the Joker intervening first. I just had to wait for that moment. I had to wait till he trusted me. I'd already told him everything I needed him to know, and now he needed time for it to sink in. I knew this in my heart; I had strong fucking intuition or something with basically everything and I had great common sense, and they both told me that there was no fucking way, not on this God given planet, that Logan and I were created to not be together. He kept bringing us back together, always like a boomerang, sending Doll right back to me.

I did my usual thing.

Carlos, James and I had been doing our best to stay the fuck of trouble. We were, apparently, quite lucky to have gotten through all the court dates without being sent to juvie or to a group home. We got into fights sometimes, yeah, but we never technically start them. We didn't exactly want enemies, but that didn't mean we weren't going to have any.

There were people that wanted to kill me because I'd beat up their brother, or fucked their sister, (which, mind you, that's only ever happened once. Okay, twice. Fine, you caught me, quite a few times, but I was still experimenting) or I stole something from one of them, probably pot, and probably true, I'd kissed their boyfriend, I'd hunted down the people they'd wanted to hunt down and now needed a new target, you know, stupid bullshit reasons that couldn't be backed up with logic. You can't argue with stupid, but you can try to fight back.

Mom stumbled in drunk one night; it was probably like, nine o'clock or so. I had personally dropped Katie off at my uncle's house, making sure she was secure to be taken care of for the next day or so. James was with me that night. Carlos was with a few other mutual friends, probably getting high or at a party, I didn't know.

Anyway, I knew James was gay before I knew I was gay. He told me straight out, trusting me with his secret. Nobody knew. James had two incompetent parents - his father, an abusive drunk, his mother, a stupid fucking whore.

Carlos had okay parents; they only went out on the weekends whereas the rest of our parent's only got drunk every day of the week. Carlos's mother was the absolute strictest bitch I'd ever met in my entire life. She despised James, myself, and all our friends and the idea of Carlos hanging out with us made her livid. His father, however, sucked up to Carlos for everything it was worth. He wanted to be friends with Carlos, not a father, and him being on the police force kept us out of quite a bit of trouble. Of course, I'd rather get sent to fucking jail than sit and listen to Mrs. Garcia's shrill voice and looking at her snooty look.

I was talking to my gay friend James about Logan and about the fight and about how he'd told me not to call him Doll, and how I kissed him, and he kissed me back.

"Are you sure?" James asked, "what if you were just fucking imagining it or some shit like that? Then you get your fucking hopes up for nothin', like that hasn't ever happened before."

"Shut the fuck up," I warned, knowing exactly was he was talking about. "I wasn't imagining anything."

"How long ago was this?"

"A bit ago…"

"A 'bit' ago? How many days?"

"…I'm fucking dyslexic, asshole."

"So? You're not retarded, you can tell me how many days it was."

I shook my head, knowing that it'd been a few weeks since this incident, but I just hadn't said anything till now. Doll was fucking eating up at my mind, and he didn't even know it, and I had to tell James. I had planned on not bringing him into this at all, but I just couldn't help it. I hadn't seen him in a fucking long ass time and I missed him.

James sighed. "Okay, well, I don't really know what to think, considering he basically told you to stay the fuck out of his life forever."

I rolled my eyes. "You're a big help."

He shrugged. "I'm sorry, Kendall, okay? Ya know, it's not like I don't have any problems of my own or anything."

I was just about to ask him what was up, when his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and looked at the caller id. "Another fucking burden on my list. Uncle Jim's fucking second floor tenants. Big pains in my ass, is what they are," he said, then answered the phone with a calm, "hello?"

He listened for a few minutes. "…what kinds of sounds?"

He listened again. "…are you sure?" He listened and sighed. "Okay. I'm coming over." He hung up and looked at me. "They're hearing smashing and screaming from Doll's apartment," he informed. "I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but they said it sounded pretty bad. Like there's a fight or something. Come on, lets' go."

He didn't have to tell me twice. I jumped up and followed him out of my house and we started towards Doll's, about a twenty minute or so walk from my house, and James and I were walking pretty fast.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?"

"Are you scared that like, Wayne or Jett or someone saw you with Logan and is at his house, beating him up right now?"

I shook my head. I never would have even thought of that. The thought scared me, but I was sure that we hadn't been seen that night; and if even if we were seen, something would have happened sooner. I just had an intuition that whatever was going on wasn't caused by an outside source. Someone who lived inside was causing the chaos.

We quickly approached the house, getting there in about fourteen or so minutes, went inside and knocked on the first floor apartment door. Doll opened the door to reveal himself. His cheeks were red, his eyes were puffy, an I instantly knew what he'd done. I guess it was that intuition. I knew by looking at him standing there in the doorway, that he was the one who caused the smashing.

We both kind of just stared at him. "Is everything okay?" James asked finally. "The neighbors just called and said something weird was going on down here."

"Why would they call you?" Doll asked, "it's your uncle's place."

James, knowing how I would react if he were mean to Doll, remained calm, despite the cutie's damned attitude. "My uncle's out of town," he said, "I'm kind of the only one around capable of taking care of the tenants. …are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

I was watching him, and I knew how he looked when he lied. Ashamed. I gently slipped passed him, seeing a clean living room. I knew the route of this house like the back of my hands. James's uncle had let us stay in there when it had been vacant. I went into the ktichen and saw the mess. The table was flipped, as were the chairs. Pictures fell off the wall, smashed dishes, and mugs, a broken vase, a knife in the wall. The place was atrocious. My heart sank into my chest, and I went back out into the living room, finding James still standing at the door.

I watched Logan, who was watching me. "What'd you do, Logan?"

He shook his head. "…I don't even know."

James let himself in, now, to see the damage, and I was scared by Logan's answer. I was concerned that he was…well, how did he honestly not know what he'd done? He could have been a danger to himself…the thought worried me immensely. I couldn't get passed those puffy eyes. "…were you crying?" I asked him softly and compassionately.

He paused. "Can you leave?"

I'd watched him and bit my lip. I didn't want to say no, knowing he needed his space, but I still hesitantly shook my head. "No," I said, keeping that same soft and compassionate tone. "What happened?"

"It's nothing," said Doll shortly, clearly wanting to be done with this conversation as he zoomed past me and into the kitchen. I followed and watched as he picked up a piece of the vase.

James and I followed him. "It's something," I said, "People don't just break all the furniture in their house for no reason!"

He blinked and looked at me like I was retarded or something. "I didn't realize all the furniture in my house was the kitchen table and some chairs," he said sarcastically. "But thanks for that observation."

"Hey, hey. Nobody asked for your sarcasm," I said sarcastically, then adding, "Just tell us what happened. Maybe we can help."

"You can't," he said simply.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because it can't be controlled."

"How will I ever know if you don't tell me?" I asked.

"I just know," he said.

"You just… …'know?'" I said in my best Professor Snape voice.

He finally sighed. "It's my dad."

My heart sank. All I knew about Logan's dad was that he traveled a lot, and was in the navy. All I knew about my dad was that he was never coming home.

"Did he die?" James asked. James was always nosy and curious about everything. He was usually the first one to know when something happened in Jackson.

"No," he said, "but close. He's never coming home. He'd rather live in Singapore with some whore than come home. It just pissed me off because he's never around. You'd think I'd be used to it by now."

"…no," I said, feeling like I didn't have a choice. I was going to spill a big secret of mine to Logan, hoping that me opening up would help him see that I was actually a good guy, who trouble just seemed to follow. "That's your dad. No matter what he's done to you, he's still your dad. You'll still sit on the porch, or look out the window, waiting for him to come home, even though you know he's not coming back. But, hopefully you won't beat up your friends, like I did."

"Your dad left you, too?" he asked, noticeably trembling.

I sighed, just wanting to hug him and take him into my arms, make him feel safe, like that it didn't even matter that his dad wasn't coming home. "He was forced to," I said. "But it was kind of necessary. He was a danger…but when he wasn't he was still my dad."

Logan looked at James, who I knew would change the conversation completely if brought into it. Still, Doll just watched him. Finally, James got the hint and said, "My dad didn't leave, but he's a drunk addicted to meth. Hot chocolate, anyone?"

Logan faintly smiled. "We don't have any hot chocolate."

"No hot chocolate? What's wrong with you?"

"I don't like hot chocolate. Is that a crime?"

"Yes! Yes it is! Who doesn't like hot chocolate? That's madness! It's chocolatey goodness delightfully liquidy -"

I wanted to shut James up. He wasn't to argue with Logan; he'd pissed me off. "James," I said firmly. "He doesn't like hot chocolate. Leave it alone. Let's just clean up this mess before Logan's mom comes home."

Doll laughed. "Oh, don't worry, we'll have all night."

"Why? Is your mom a whore?" James asked. I was used to these usual, blunt questions of James's, but I wasn't too sure Logan was. He cocked his head and bit his lip, as if saying, 'did you really just fucking ask that?'

"Well?" James urged. I didn't say anything, because I was a little curious too.

"She just like to party a little," he offered, looking around at us.

"Don't feel bad, my mom's a whore, too."

I sighed and glared at James, finally saying "Help me over turn this table, you idiot," I instructed, and James grinned and obeyed, and we proceeded to help Logan clean the kitchen. He explained the vase situation and I tried to glue it together, but there was too many pieces and it just wasn't going to work.

"Are you sure your mom's not coming home?" James had asked.

"I shrugged. She does what she wants. She might stay at the club till four in the morning. She might sleep at someone's apartment. She might come home."

Logan and I had finished the kitchen as James bought a vase; I felt bad as I watched Logan; he just seemed like his whole life was quite fucking pathetic, and I just wanted to make it better.

When James returned with the new vase, he had Carlos with him. "Look who I found at the store," he said. I watched as Logan let Carlos in, and I smiled at him. It was quite sweet, the way he just welcomed the new comer. However, James, the idiot, got a red vase when the original was black. Logan found paint, and we attempted to paint it, but it didn't exactly go in our favor. It ended up with fingerprints and stripes of black. Logan shrugged it off, figuring he really didn't give a fuck about the vase.

Logan lead the way to the bathroom and we all got cleaned up. We made a semi-mess in the bathroom, but, don't worry, we worked around it. When we went back into the kitchen, Logan's mom was staring at the vase. I felt awkward.

"Oh," she said, "I didn't know you had friends sleeping over!"

Logan looked awkward. "…they're not sleepin-?"

"It's three a.m., they're certainly not leaving," said the woman, stumbling over her words a bit.

I couldn't help but smirk.

"I have to ask, what happened to my grandmother's vase?"

Logan's eyes shifted as he simply said, "I broke it."

"How?" she questioned.

"I picked it up, and hucked it across the room. It scratched the fridge, even."

"…why?"

"I got mad," said Doll duh-ly. "We got you a new one. Sure, it's not the same, but it's still got a story behind it. Now, when the guy you bring home asks why you have such an ugly vase, you can tell him that your idiot kids broke your grandma's vase and that's what they left you in surprise."

"Are you drunk?" she asked.

"Are you?"

"Only a little," she said.

"I'm not drunk," Doll said. "But I'm hungry. Are you guys hungry? Mom, make us some beef."

"I'll make cheeseburgers?"

He nodded. "Yeah. You will," he said firmly.

So, his mom started to make cheeseburgers and I couldn't help but stare at Logan, and he stared me back. Then it struck me, that whenever I wanted my mom to answer questions, especially about my dad, her being drunk was the easiest way to get the answers out of her.

I pulled me aside and quickly said with a grin, "got any alcohol in this place?"

He looked concerned yet curious. "Why?"

"Get your mom drunk."

"You're not having sex with my mom," he said frustrated.

I laughed. "I'm gay, remember? You should be more worried about yourself. I'm just saying, get her more drunk. That's the best time to get the truth out of your parents. She knows everything about your dad, right?"

He nodded, agreeing, as if I had given him an epiphany thing. "Yeah. And stuff that she hasn't even told me."

"Get it out of her. I'm pretty curious, too."

So, I watched him get the rum and fill a glass nearly halfway, filling coke the rest of the way. "Here, mom," he said, and then poured shot-sized amounts of rum in four glasses, and filling the rest with coke and distributed the rest of that to the rest of us.

Then she looked at her son and said, "It tastes funny."

"It's old coke," Doll bullshitted a story. "So it's a little bitter. You have to finish off the bottle before we can get new ones. Your rule, remember?"

She nodded. "Okay, fill her up."

He poured more rum into the glass.

Logan's mom was quite drunk and he finished making the cheeseburgers, fearfully mumbling something about the house burning down. He distributed cheeseburgers like it was his job, and we sat around the table at four a.m., with rum and cheeseburgers, Logan's mom a set of questions involving cheese, feet, build-a-bears, Tinkerbell, the color orange, turtlenecks, The Avatar: The Last Airbender, lollipop sticks, the flavors of jelly beans, and shoe sizes.

Then, Logan said, "Mom?"

"Baby Doll."

"Why didn't you tell me dad had a girlfriend?"

Her eyes shifted awkwardly. "…you know how?"

"He called."

"I don't leave."

"What?"

"Don't leave me, Doll, don't leave like your dad did! Don't go to Singapore, please, please, please…"

She was crying now. It was kind of awkward, yet it was still entertaining.

"I'm not going to Singapore," he said firmly, "I'm not going anywhere. Now, shut the fuck up and go to bed."

She kissed Doll's head before disappearing into her room, and I started to pick up the cheeseburger plates and I watched Carlos literally nod off, and James laughed and told him to go to the couch, and I helped Logan clean and James followed Logan as we did so.

Then Doll panicked about places to sleep and I rolled my eyes at him, not being able to help it.

James picked Carlos up and put him on the floor, taking a place on the couch. I told Doll not to worry about me, even as he told me to sleep in the chair. I already knew exactly where I was going to sleep.

Logan went to his room, in his bed, and I waited a few minutes before I followed him and tried to claim my place on his bed.

"I can't sleep with James's snoring," I whined, "I never could."

"What do you want me to do about it?" he asked.

"Let me sleep in here."

"You're nutso."

"And you're boring, lame, and pathetic. Just let me sleep with you."

"You're fat and ugly."

"You're…short. And… ridiculously …smart. Come on, Logan, please."

He sighed, scooting over, saying "You're annoying."

"You're a jerk face."

"That's an insult?"

"It's a better insult than short and ridiculously smart."

"Toosh," I said with a quick nod as Logan deposited some of his blanket on top of me.

"It's touché, Einstein," he corrected me.

I didn't want to cause him any trouble, so I kept myself clean, and almost kept my hands off of him all night, but I was impossible to not spoon with him. We fit perfectly, and I had to know that we did. We did. It was spectacular. Is that what it is? Or is it splectactular? Nah, I was right the first time, spectacular. I think. Let's just go with splendid. Anyway, I didn't want to be there when he woke up. I wanted to give him that space he craved, and I also wanted to leave a little mystery behind it. I wanted him to wonder where I was.

I was positive I'd accomplished that as I made my way to the market to get some hot coffee. I didn't really like hot coffee, but it was fucking deathly cold, and iced coffee would not mix well with the freezing weather. I made the coffee super sweet and Mr. Langston told me not to worry about paying; he did that every morning. He had known me since before I was born, knew my parents since before they were born, and he never really charged the locals for coffee. It was just coffee to him. Cigarettes and milk brought him his most profit. That's what you get for living in Jackson, Minnesota.

I had left Carlos and James sleeping in Logan's living room, so I decided to go back to fetch them. I finished my coffee before getting back to Logan's and I dropped the cup in the overflowing trash near the bus stop's bench on the way.

I knocked on the door before letting myself in. Logan's head poked from around the kitchen. He smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Where'd you go?" he asked.

I shrugged it off. "Don't worry about it. I'm back, right? You miss me?"

He chuckled. "In your dreams, maybe."

"Yeah," I agreed, "definitely in my dreams. How about reality?"

He shook his head. "You're not so lucky."

"What'd you dream about?" I asked finally, not knowing what else to say.

He shrugged casually. "Don't worry about it."

I laughed now. "Smart-ass."

"I've been told."

"I'm not surprised."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't be so defensive," I said, "I was as sarcastic as you."

He rolled his eyes. "What are you, Captain Obvious?"

"Only if you're Lieutenant Sarcasm."

"You're not funny, you know."

"I beg to differ."

He shook his head, clearly at loss for words. "Seriously, where'd you go? You just left your friends sleeping in the living room."

"…they're your friends, too."

He bit his lip before shaking his head. "I don't have friends," he said firmly. "I don't do well with other people. I'm kind of an asshole."

I shook my head, now. "I don't believe you. You're quite friendly."

"And where did this proper English come from?"

He smirked. "You don't want to start a sentence with the word 'and', Logie. That's not right grammar."

"…it'd be 'proper' grammar."

"Don't be an asshole. Let me have my one moment."

He paused, taking a deep breath, smiling again and saying, "Moment's over. …anyway…I'm sorry my mom wouldn't let you guys leave last night. She worries that if anyone leaves their house after midnight, they'll get mugged or jumped."

"Well, I'm not sorry that she wouldn't let us leave," I said honestly, and I avoided the second half of that, knowing that Logan's mother was worried about someone getting jumped because I had jumped Logan after midnight.

He took in a deep breath. "Kendall?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask why you're so like…drawn to me?"

My heart skipped a beat. "…yes. Yes you can." I said, wracking my brains for an articulate enough answer for him.

He smiled. "Kendall, why are you so drawn to me?" he repeated.

I bit my lip and said, "Well…I don't really know what it is. That hair, possibly. Those big sparkly eyes. That winning smile. The compulsive, bipolar, rude personality. The vulnerability, the facial expressions. The ambition, the motivation, the sweet, sweet, caring heart. The fact that you're on my level. The fact that you run away when you should, and stay when you shouldn't. You grew balls and you stick up for what you feel is right. You know what you want, you know where you're heading, and you're confused about how you feel about me. That last part drives me mad, but it's the part that keeps me most wanting to suck you in. I don't know what it is, but all of those are major contributions. I'm telling you now, though, I know you don't believe me, and I know you don't understand why, but I'm pretty sure I love you, and I'll do whatever it takes to get you to realize that. I'll do whatever I can to make you want me like I want you. I don't know what it'll take, but I'll do it. I'll apologize a million times, I'll literally kiss your ass, if you want. I'll eat a spider. I'll swim in a pool full of sharks. I'll die for you, Logan, and if that's not love then I don't know what is."

He stayed quiet, as if sucking in all that information. It was a lot to handle, and he was doing it better than I thought he would. I didn't think he'd go this fast, and I didn't have any expectations at this point. I was just taking things in as they went right the fuck along, and I was just doing what I had thought I had to to win his heart over.

He viciously chewed on his bottom lip, clearly nervous. He swallowed hard. "I've told you I can't forgive you," he said, "and as of now, I'm still sticking to that. But I don't want you…"

He paused, and I thought I felt my heart die.

He looked up and his eyes met mine, "I don't want you not in my life. I don't know why I'm saying this, but I'm willing to let it go. It doesn't mean I forgive you. It means I'm letting my guard down, and I'm trusting you…not to break me. Kendall…I'm trusting you. I'm letting go of my grudge because you're a genuine person, and I…I don't know, but I guess I always had a crush on you."

I grinned the biggest grin I'd ever had grinned in my life at this, and I said, "Don't worry. I won't let you down."

"This is simply platonic, though," he said firmly.

"If I knew what that meant, I might care," I said.

He laughed. "It means we're just friends."

I nodded, knowing that this just friends crap he was pulling wasn't going to last long. Especially since he was staring at me as if he wanted me to kiss him again.

And let me tell you, I did want to kiss him again.

Note: How am I doing with the personalities? I feel like when I write them, Kendall and Logan are too similar. What do you think? Thanks for reading! (: