I have Part Four of Secrets for you! Sorry it's taking me so long to get all my stories caught up. I just have so damn many of them, and life won't let me exist only in my FT stories. Lol

Anyway, thanks for being oh so amazing and for all your wonderful reviews. You give me inspiration to keep writing! Love you all so much!

GaLu Week: Day 7 - SECRETS (Part 4)

Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail.

LOSING HER HEART

Lucy pushed into her house, barely getting the door closed before her legs finally gave out. She sank to the cold floor of her kitchen and cried, great heaving sobs bursting from her chest as she curled herself around the tiny ball of fur in her arms. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so hurt, so alone.

How could Natsu have done this to her? How could he betray her in such a way? Her heart ached so much, like the place that housed her partner had been cut out, leaving a hole far too large to fill. And Gajeel...

God, she was a fool, such a damn fool to think for even a moment that Gajeel had been trying to get close to her. She should have known better. She had...she really had known that, but the second he'd begun talking to her, her hopes had soared. She had stupidly let herself harbor that treacherous belief all the way up until he'd mentioned the words from her diary.

How could she face them after this? How could anything ever be the same again with Natsu, with her team? She couldn't bear to see either of the sorry bastards right now.

Suddenly a tiny pair of paws touched her cheeks, and a soft voice sniffed, "Don't cry, Lucy..."

Lucy blinked watery eyes down at the small cat and choked back another sob. "Happy..." She didn't know what to say. The pain in her chest was too great to describe, and the words to ask why refused to come. She was lost, completely and utterly lost.

She didn't have a clue how to tell her little friend what was wrong with her, but Happy didn't seem to require it. He simply wrapped his little arms around her neck and cried with her. His tears sent her own flowing again, and the two sat there and held each other.

The Exceed had somehow known just what she needed, reminding her so simply yet so eloquently that she wasn't alone. She had Happy, and in spite of all his teasing and joking about her in the past, Lucy knew he loved her. And that knowledge sent warmth spreading through her body, giving her the strength to finally claw her way up out of her despair.

She hadn't lost it all. She wasn't on her own again. She had her little furry friend and Erza and Gray, Levy and Mira, Cana and so many others at the guild. They hadn't left her behind or used her secrets to hurt her. They were still there for her, and though she had taken a hit today, she refused to give up the only family she had left.

Still, that didn't mean she was ready to see Natsu and Gajeel again just yet. Her feelings were raw, exposed for all the world to see, and that's not something she wanted to show. No, the next time she stood before the two of them, she wanted her armor on. She wouldn't let them see how much she hurt, how badly they'd cut her with what they'd done.

And that meant she needed time. She needed a chance to sort things out and get her head back on straight, and to do that, she had to get away for a while. She knew if she stayed here, Natsu would be up her ass, and she was nowhere near prepared to deal with him. So, that left her one option, to complete that job on her own.

The thought was a little scary, going off alone on a mission. She hadn't been out without her team in such a long time, and there was a part of her that wondered if she could handle it. She was afraid...of getting in over her head, of failing. She was afraid of so many things, but this was one time that she couldn't let her fear hold her back.

She'd just have to figure it out. And she would, because she was a Fairy Tail mage. Plus, she didn't want to explain to Erza or Gray why she was taking a job without Natsu.

Taking a deep breath, she picked herself up off the floor and looked down at the blue cat in her arms. "Well Happy...I guess it's just you and me. Wanna do this job with me?"

The little Exceed blinked up at her uncertainly, before asking, "You mean without Natsu?"

By sheer will alone, Lucy managed not to flinch at her partner's name. She knew Happy loved Natsu. They were best friends after all, and she'd been waiting for the blue cat to bring him up. But right now, she couldn't bear to think about him. "Yeah. I just...I don't think I can talk to him yet," she said softly.

Happy frowned a bit and looked down at the floor, his body squirming nervously. It was easy to see that he was uncomfortable at the idea of excluding his friend, and deciding to ease his mind, she reached out and ruffled the fur atop his head. "It's okay, Happy. I can handle this one on my own," she said, giving him a soft smile.

More than anything, she didn't want him to be stuck between her and Natsu or feel like he had to choose between them. It wasn't his fault they were at odds, and Lucy wasn't about to drag him into it. If he felt going with her would mess things up with Natsu, then she would rather he stay home. This wasn't his fight; it was hers.

But her blue-furred friend shook his head. "No, I'll go with you, but...can I leave him a note so he'll know where I am?"

The edges of Lucy's mouth turned up at his decision. "Sure you can. How about we head over to the train station, and we'll get Virgo to take him the message?"

Happy's head bobbed in agreement, then he followed Lucy into her room to pack. She made short work of the job, and ten minutes later, the two were stepping onto the train that would take them away from home. In a way, it almost felt like she was skipping town, running from everything that had happened, but maybe that was because of how little time had passed since she'd made the decision to go. But that wasn't it. She simply needed some time.

The truth was she hadn't a clue how to handle things with Natsu or Gajeel, and before she saw them again, that had to be figured out. She couldn't go back to the way things had been before, not after today. She felt like everything had changed in the space of a single afternoon, and she was lost as to what to expect next.

Right now, all she knew was that she was done fumbling for words and struggling to express herself. It was time to find that backbone she'd had before she'd ever decided that Gajeel was the man for her. It had become clear to her that he held no affection for her, and she needed to find the strength to let him go.

Natsu was something altogether different though, and dealing with the disappointment in her friend would probably hurt far worse than losing the dream of Gajeel. The fact was she'd always expected to lose when it came to the Iron Slayer, but she'd never thought to be wary of her best friend. He'd been by her side since she'd come to the guild, and it had been like a kick to the gut to find out his part in this.

She'd always looked at Natsu like her own personal hero. He was the guy who'd always had her back, the one that she'd always turned to when she was hurt. Now that all this had happened, who could she go to? Who would hold her when she cried?

From the moment they'd met, Natsu had held a huge place in Lucy's life. Outside of Levy, he was her closest friend, and they'd been inseparable until now. And the thought of not having that anymore broke her heart again because even with all her other friends at Fairy Tail, no one could come close to filling his spot.

Natsu was irreplaceable to her, and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that his loss would leave a gaping hole in her life. Was that what she could look forward to when she returned? Was that what awaited her in the future?

Giving a sad sigh, she looked out the window. Off in the distance, she could see Fairy Tail, and she watched through tearful eyes as the guild she loved so much grew smaller until at last it was no longer visible. She turned away from the view and closed her eyes, already finding herself missing everyone. But she'd be back in no time, because there were still two dragon slayers to be dealt with.

Gajeel walked back into the guild in a daze, the small book still clutched in his hand. He had quite literally bombed with Lucy, but more than that, he'd probably ruined any chance of anything with her in the future as well. Somehow things had gotten all messed up when he'd talked to her, and the pretty blonde had taken everything the wrong way.

Now, he was pretty certain she would never look at him again, let alone give him the opportunity to explain. No, his goose was cooked. He had screwed this shit up royally, and not just for him. He'd likely done the same for Natsu, and that wasn't going to go over well.

Damn, it couldn't have possibly gone any worse. He could still her accusing him of making fun of her, calling herself a joke, saying she was stupid. She'd been so pissed, so hurt, and then she'd cried. He couldn't stop seeing that look on her face as she yelled at him.

He couldn't believe he'd hurt Lucy again. It brought him back to his Phantom Lord days, to the day he'd met her. She'd taken everything he dished out, and though Mavis knew the memory of that haunted him, he admired how she'd shed not one tear. She'd been so damn brave, not showing even a moment's weakness. She'd just glared at him and taunted him, defied him at every turn.

He'd never been so impressed by anyone like he had been with that little spitfire of a woman. And now, after swearing he'd never harm her again, he'd done just that. Only this time, he'd made her cry, and that made it all so much worse. He wasn't a man who took promises lightly, especially not promises he made to himself. And now, he'd broken one, one that meant a great deal to him, and he didn't know how to fix it.

And so, he'd come back into the guild, seeking the one man that might know what to do. Then again, there was a good chance that Natsu would refuse him after the pink-haired man found out how fucked up everything had gotten.

"Gajeel!"

The Iron Dragon Slayer squared his shoulders and turned toward the voice in time to hear Natsu say, "How'd it go?"

"It...went about as good as a bomb going off inside the guild," Gajeel muttered, dragging a hand through his hair.

"Huh? Are you saying it went bad?"

The pierced man gave Natsu a bland look. "No, I'm saying it was so great we're meeting up later to pick flowers. Of course I'm saying it went bad, you idiot!"

The fire mage ignored Gajeel's insult and asked, "How the hell could it go bad? What happened?"

Before the dark-haired man could respond, a light went off beside them and out popped one of Lucy's spirits. Natsu's brow furrowed in confusion at the blank-faced maid. "Hey Virgo. What're you doing here? Where's Luce?"

"A letter for you," she uttered, handing him a small envelope. Then without a trace of emotion, she turned to Gajeel and drove her fist straight into his face, sending him flying backwards into a table. "And for you...punishment."

As quickly as she'd come, the maid disappeared, leaving Natsu to gaze at the spot she'd occupied with wide eyes. "What was that all about?" he asked as Gajeel climbed to his feet and made his way back over to his fellow dragon slayer.

Ignoring the stares and questions of his other guild mates, Gajeel frowned at Natsu and shook his head. "I have a feeling you're about to find out."

Shooting the taller man a strange look, Natsu opened his note and recognizing Lucy's handwriting, he said, "Oh it's from Lucy. She said..." his voice trailed off as he continued to scan the page. He finished not even a moment later, and then his head came up, his eyes bright with anger.

"What the hell did you do?!"