Chapter 4

Once I managed to reach the parking lot of the school I finally allowed myself to slow down to a walk. I was sucking wind at this point from both exhaustion and fear, the adrenaline clearly coursing through me. 'What the hell was that? Could it be the animal Charlie is after?' I pondered as I power walked towards my truck. I checked my watch as I hopped in and noticed that even if I had gone back to class I would've only had caught the last fifteen minutes. 'How long was I in the woods?' I began to feel guilty for skipping out before my inner voice chimed in with its two-cents.

'Who cares? It was only gym and we both know the dodgeball team can carry on without your athletic prowess for the day.' My subconscious heckled at me. I sent up a quick thank you that I wouldn't have to deal with the daily torture that is gym and began my journey home.

It began to rain lightly as I pulled around the block towards what had now become my home and at first I'm not sure if I am seeing things. Parked in Charlie's normal spot was a shiny silver Volvo. 'Oh no...'. My heart began to pound and adrenaline coursed through my veins once again. I contemplated driving past and straight out of there, but couldn't bring myself to be that cowardly. I begrudgingly pulled up next to Edward and slowly got out of my truck, pulling up my hood as I do so. As I walked to the front of my truck I see Edward smoothly get out of his car. Everything started to feel like it was happening in slow motion. I knew he could smell the fear radiating off of me, hell, I'm sure the whole world at this point could see my hands shaking. Edward gave me a curious glance but continued towards me.

I will never get used to their grace and beauty. Even standing in the rain, wearing a simple button up and jeans, the most attractive models could never compare. I finally looked into his eyes and noticed immediately that something was very wrong. His eyes, which had been honey colored the night before, are now almost brown and reflect anger as they looked at me. My heart began to pound even louder and my palms began to sweat in spite of the cold wet air. Edward narrowed his eyes at me and his expression reflects one of confusion. I could tell by the way he tilted his head to the side that he was trying to read my mind and I unconsciously took a step back in response. I hated it when he did that, even though it was a futile effort I still couldn't help but feel violated by his actions.

Edward let out a slow sigh as he leaned against his car, "Bella, we really need to talk." He said as he rubbed his face with the palms of his hands. The rain was really coming down at this point and his clothes are soaked.

"Ok, do you want to come inside?" I'm not sure how I got the words out, but I was slowly beginning to get cold and a shiver ran up my spine.

Edward shook his head as he took a few steps towards me, "No. I was thinking we could go for a walk." He slowly turned and began to walk along the sidewalk that surrounded my neighborhood. I quickly followed and zipped my coat up to my chin in an effort to keep myself warm. Eventually we made our way to a path nearby that leads into the forest surrounding the neighborhood. It was a path we had taken many times before together but this time it was different. There was a sense of impending doom lingering above our heads. We walked for what felt like an eternity before Edward finally spoke.

"Bella, I am so sorry for what happened last night." I immediately came to a halt, those were the last words I ever expected to hear. I had expected him to berate me for being irresponsible once again in a room full of vampires, I had expected him to slap me for what had occurred between me and Carlisle, I had expected his whole family waiting there looking at me with disappointment yelling obscenities. This was the last thing I had ever imagined happening. What did he have to apologize for?

Edward turned to face me and I saw nothing but guilt and sadness etched onto his face. "I never should have brought you into my world, it was a mistake. You have only suffered and been put into harm's way because of my actions." His words slowly began to sink in and I realized that he didn't have a clue what happened. An overwhelming sense of relief and shock came over me before I realized what he was actually trying to say.

"Edward, it wasn't your fault. I…" He put his hand up cutting me off.

"It is my fault Bella. I knew better than to get involved with a human and I knew the dangers my kind presented to you. That's why we are leaving." His last words were spoken so softly I almost didn't hear them.

"You're leaving? When?" I asked in a whisper. I was practically shaking at this point and I knew it was not all from the cold.

Edward averted his eyes from mine and he winced as he said, "Today."

I felt as though I had been hit by a truck. They're leaving. All of them. Panic began to encompass me and I felt as though I couldn't catch my breath. Suddenly a sharp pain radiates deep within my shoulder. My hand instinctively comes up to try to ease the pain and after a few seconds the pain starts to subsides. All that's left is a slight throbbing sensation right where the bite mark rests against my skin.

Edward placed a hand on my elbow and said, "It's not just because of you, Bella. Don't think for a moment this is your fault. Some things have come to the attention of members of my family, and we've decided it's best if we leave and go our separate ways." I glanced up at Edward, confused by what he'd revealed. What was he talking about? "Don't fret, Bella, my family is no longer any of your concern. The burden of knowing us is no longer something you should have to bear. I promise you, it will be as if we never existed." He smiled at me, sadness evident upon his angelic features. I barely had a chance to blink before he was gone.

I'm alone.

I quickly scanned the forest surrounding me but there was no longer any sign of Edward. All I could see was the green and brown of the Washington forest. I could make out my foot prints that led back to my house along the path but there were no traces of the beautiful creature who had led me here.

"Never existed." The words came out in a choked whisper. Panic encompassed me and the next thing I knew I was sprinting back to my house. I was still not sure how I avoided all the hazards along the path but I only had one goal on my mind. I had to find them, I had to stop them, I had to stop him. I clumsily climbed into the driver's seat of my truck and in an instant I was flooring it towards the only one I knew who could help calm the thundering in my chest. I had blinders on at this point and the only thing I could think about was getting to him. The throbbing in my shoulder was starting to increase with my urgency.

The orange beast recklessly pulled into the Forks Hospital parking lot at speeds I was unaware it could reach. I had barely put the truck into park before I was racing through the sliding glass ER doors.

The old nurse at the front desk looked alarmed when I approached her. "Ms. Swan, whatever is the matter? You look as though you've seen a ghost." She immediately stood up and came around the counter to check up on my physical wellbeing. I took a quick glance at my reflection in the window. My whole body was sopping wet and my shoes were covered in mud. Now that I look back on it, my appearance was truly alarming. Before I knew it she had me sitting on one of the sick beds nearby and was taking my temperature.

"I'm fine, really. Listen, I'm looking-" I tried to stand only to have her push me back down to a seated position.

"Ms. Swan, you are sopping wet, your heart rate is accelerated, and you can't seem to catch your breath. Something is wrong and you need to calm yourself." Her kind eyes almost broke the dam that was holding back my tears. I instantly swallowed them down and tried to speak as calmly as possible.

"I am looking for Dr. Cullen, I really need to speak with him. That's why I am here. Where is he?"

The Nurse looked at me with what can only be described as pure sympathy. "Dr. Cullen called in this morning and said that he would no longer be working here due to a family emergency. I would have thought you would have been the first to know due to your relationship with his son. I'm so sorry dear..."

There was suddenly a deafening ringing in my ears. I could no longer hear the outside world. Edward wasn't lying. They really had left Forks. They had really left me.

'Alone...'

"Ms. Swan? Ms. Swan? Are you alright?" I slowly became aware of the nurse gently shaking me.

"I'm fine." I barely even recognized my own voice. It held no emotion, no ounce of humanity.

The nurse's eyes expressed the sadness she felt for me. She rubbed my back in sympathy.

"Let me go get you a cup of hot chocolate. You sit here and dry off for a bit, ok? I'll be right back." The nurse slowly shut the curtains around the bed and walked off.

I'm not sure how long I sat there in silence counting the tiles along the floor of the hospital. It could've been seconds or it could've been hours. I'm not sure and I didn't care. Everything felt different, like the life I had been living was suddenly taken from me and all I was left with was this new existence. I didn't know how to function in this new life. More importantly, I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel in this life. Should I just go home and pretend that nothing was wrong and do my homework? Was I supposed to feel relieved that I would not have to face any repercussions for my actions? Should I be happy that the dangers I had been facing were now forever gone? My head was a swirling mess of confusion.

Eventually, I heard the chattering of other nurses entering the vicinity. I was very much consumed by my own contemplations, so at first I wasn't even paying much attention to their conversation. It was the mention of the name 'Cullen' that snapped me out of my own thoughts and narrowed my focus to what they were saying.

"I can't believe the Cullens would just up and leave like that!" One nurse said in shock, the other mumbled in agreement. I could hear the rustling of papers and clicking of keys. I could picture them sitting at the desk out front casually working away.

"You heard the rumor, right?" The other spoke in fake casualness. You could tell she was dying to gossip. I was sure the mysterious and sudden disappearance of the Cullens would be the talk of the town for the foreseeable future.

"No! What have you heard?" The nurse urged in eagerness.

I couldn't help it, I felt myself standing, inching towards the curtain to hear better.

"Well, I heard that Dr. Cullen had a little mistress that he kept hidden!" The nurse failed in her attempt to whisper the last few words.

Spots began to cloud my vision and I began to feel very dizzy. I slowly backed up to the bed and sat down with my head in my hands. It was like a knife had been driven into me, twisting at every word. I tried to stop listening to their conversation as much as possible but the only noise in the entire hospital was their two voices.

"A cheater? No way. Dr. Cullen would never do such a thing. Have you seen his wife? This rumor sounds as credible as the one Mary told me." The nurse scoffed at the idea.

"That's what I heard and I'm not sure why John would lie about such a thing. Unfortunately, he didn't know any of the dirty details. My money is on that psychologist who works in Seattle who came in for that consultation a few months ago. She had her eyes set on getting him alone. The poor guy never stood a chance." Both nurses chuckled at the idea as they continued working away.

"Well, Mary told me that she heard it was due to financial difficulties and that he took a better offer in California. It must be hard supporting five teenage kids and dealing with a gambling addiction." The nurse stated with pity.

"Gambling addiction!" The other nurse about shouted in shock.

"That's what I heard. Its why he randomly disappears on weekends. He goes to the casinos around the state and competes in poker tournaments. The extra money definitely helps explain all the fancy cars they drive. You can't honestly believe he can afford all that working here do you?" Both nurses were laughing by this point. It was as if they had turned Carlisle into this weird exaggerated version of himself.

"I still like the mistress rumor better myself. A lot more juicy!" One of the nurses said with glee.

"I just don't see it. He's too honorable to do something so horrible. When did you say they were moving?" The nurse asked.

"I think it was sometime this afternoon. I remember Dr. Cullen asked to borrow some tools from John and told him to come pick them up around five tonight. Those lucky bastards are getting out of this rain and heading to sunny southern California. I wish that were me right about now." Both nurses sighed in longing and agreement.

I immediately looked at my watch and saw that it was fifteen minutes till five. I could still stop them if I hurried. I ripped the curtain back and ran as fast as I could towards the parking lot. Both nurses jumped in alarm at my exit but I didn't stop. I wasn't going to stop until I confronted Carlisle.

As I sped along the wet highway towards the Cullen house the only thing I could think was, 'Please don't leave me. You can't leave me. We can't be apart.' The words became a mantra that I played continuously in my head.

The engine roared in agony. It wasn't meant to go this fast I knew, but I had to get there.

"Just a little further, Orange." I muttered the words like a prayer.

'Please don't leave me. You can't leave me. We can't be apart.'

'He left because he couldn't stay with you. You know he would never leave his wife, no matter how he felt about you.' My subconscious muttered my deepest fears.

"It doesn't matter. He can't leave me. I would rather have him close and unattainable than it being like they never existed." I choked on a sob. I knew these words are true yet said in vain.

I turned off the road and skidded onto the gravel driveway. I glanced at the clock on my dash and saw it was exactly five o'clock. I slowly let out the breath I had been holding in and headed up the driveway at a more casual pace. I had barely made it.

As I got closer and closer to the house, I noticed immediately that something is amiss. The normally well lit glass house was completely dark, the curtains had been drawn, and all that was left on the front porch was a lone cardboard box. The mark suddenly begins to shoot sharp pains through out my skin and a sense of dread consumes my being.

I don't remember getting out of the truck, but suddenly I found myself standing feet from the box. I could feel the rain drops tapping against my skin once again. My feet slowly dragged me to the box and I saw a note taped to the top of it. I immediately recognized the elegant script and my heart sank.

"Carlisle." It came out in a soft whisper.

John,

Thank you for the tools. You are a life saver. Sorry I couldn't say goodbye, my kids were eager to hit the road towards the sun.

All the best,

Carlisle Cullen

AN: Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter. Your words of encouragement mean a lot to me and definitely help motivate me to continue this story. I hope you all like this chapter and are able to bear with me until Carlisle's return. A big thank you to Goldielover for being the push to start this story back up and for taking the time to help edit this chapter. Your help and suggestions are immensely appreciated!

Again, reviews keep me going.