Part IV: Anthony Hope
Do
you know anyone that is currently locked up?
Johanna's
always locked in that room of hers! I kind of wonder where she keeps
getting all the embroidery sets. And…how does she go to the
bathroom?
What
do you think about the current gas prices?
We
use coal, silly! That's what school-age miners are for.
Do
you think that you're a good person?
I'm
the sexy male hero of the story!
Have
you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
I
love Johanna so much, even though I've only known her like two
days…and yeah, it hurt a lot, especially when the Beadle shoved
that cane in my eye.
Last
time you ate a homegrown tomato?
When
we sailed to the States, and I went to the Sprouts Whole Foods market
in Florida, and the guy was giving out free samples.
Do
you believe in love at first sight?
If
I didn't, I wouldn't be obsessed with someone I saw sitting in a
window.
Have
you lost any friends lately?
This
one friend I made on the boat got eaten by a Kraken. Which is
odd…Johnny Depp wasn't on our ship…
Do
you hate the last boy you were talking to?
What,
Mr. Todd? No way! We're total man buddies. We go lift weights
together at the gym and drink wheat grass smoothies. He'd never
dream of hating me!
Whose
bed did you sleep in 2 nights ago?
In
my bunk on the ship, where our motto is, "your bed is everyone's
bed".
Do
you miss anyone?
Yeah,
maybe I should make up a song about her.
Who?
I'll
steaaaal you, Johanna!
Do
you like winter time?
Well,
living here, it's not really like I've got a choice. You know
it's always snowing? Or raining. And either way you're as cold as
if you were naked in Iceland in December. I know. I've been there.
What
are you excited about?
Totally
going to see Mr. Todd! Maybe if I spontaneously barge in I'll catch
him in his underwear!
Do
you like to cuddle?
I
was scared off that on the ship, to be honest…
Where
is your number one person on your friends list?
It
just so happens I do keep a list of my friends in my jacket pocket.
And number one is Mr. Todd, because he taught me to swear in
Australian.
What's
your hair look like today?
Same
as usual…casually tousled, like I just rolled out of bed. When I
shake my head outside Johanna's window, it's all I
can do not to swoon at my own perfection.
Suppose
you see your crush kissing another person?
But
aren't I the only single male around here between the ages of 17
and 90?
Something
interesting happen lately?
Have
you been reading
any of this?
Would
you be able to date someone who had a kid with someone else?
Isn't
that illegal in this era, not to mention totally taboo?
Do
you consider yourself to be naïve?
Naïve?
No way! I'm totally on my guard, just look at who I'm friends
with.
Ever
had a near death experience?
Sailing
the Bermuda Triangle in the middle of monsoon season. And if that
doesn't count as near-death, let me include the fact that we had to
take group showers on the ship. FYI…don't pick up the soap.
Have
you ever snuck out of your house?
That
does explain how someone my age would have gotten on a ship and seen
the entire world including the Dominican Republic, doesn't it?
What's
your favorite thing to have on your bed?
I
can't sleep unless I have the custom-made quilt I got in
Czechoslovakia.
Do
you tend to make relationships complicated?
I
try not to, but somehow I always end up getting someone sent to some
asylum, and then death threats get involved, and lawsuits out the
wazoo…it's crazy.
Have
you been asked out in the past week?
As
in asked…to leave? No, actually, I wasn't asked, just kind of
thrown out on my sexy British tush and beat repeatedly with a cane.
Tattoos?
Apparently
it's all the rage to have them on your ankle…
When
was the last time you did the dishes?
I
was on kitchen duty on the ship so much, I swear I still smell like
Palmolive.
Are
you good at giving directions?
Like
as in giving orders? Uh, no. I pull everything right out of the air
and expect it to work. It usually doesn't. Can't imagine why.
Three
feelings at the moment?
Optimistic
Excited
Happy
Overeager
Oh
wait, that's four. I guess the overeager bit was true.
Where
was the last place you went besides where you are?
I
ran to the pie shop, and then got scared and left, but then I forgot
which hotel I was at.
Ever
had a drunken night in Mexico?
When
I said I'd sailed the world and experienced its wonders, I did mean
all
its wonders…
What's
the craziest thing you've done?
Well,
now that you mention the Mexico thing, I have a vague memory of
getting up on the table in nothing but a sombrero and singing
Broadway show tunes…
What
happened at 10:00 am today?
I
was running up and down the street singing 'Johanna! Johanna!' at
the top of my lungs, and someone threw a creepy pointed boot at me.
Are
you going to ask out the person you like?
I
asked her to come out the window once and explained the joys of
Mexico from where I was standing on the sidewalk, and she just looked
at me funny and tossed me a key.
Last
night, did you go to sleep smiling?
Wouldn't
you go to sleep smiling if you got that full a view of cleavage?
Did
you have a good day yesterday?
Yesterday
was kind of brutal, actually. I've still got bruises from that
stupid Beadle. Does he sharpen that cane or something?
What
was the highlight of today?
Getting
highlights! The lady did a fabulous job. Seriously, you should see my
hair now. It's all deep and caramel.
Have
you ever collapsed on the bathroom floor?
Funny
story. On the ship I got locked in the privy during a storm…talk
about your collapsing. I didn't know which way was up.
Hah! But
the joke was on the jerks who locked me in there, because I put crabs
in all their underwear drawers!
Do
you keep arguing even if you know you're wrong?
I'm
actually pretty passive, to the point that I don't argue even if I
know I'm right. I just let people beat me up and then I go right
back to whatever I was doing.
Do
you have a good relationship with your mother?
If
I did, would I have left home as a teenager to get on a ship and
travel the world with a bunch of ex-lumberjacks and convicts?
When
was the last time you bought something?
I
bought the haircut and highlights earlier today, and then some really
awesome boots that were on sale. You should see them. They're like
David Bowie's, only hotter.
So my next one is a three-way tie between Toby, Johanna, and the Beadle. Hmm. Oh well. They'll all get done eventually. C:
By the way, thanks to everyone who's sent me surveys and suggestions!
-Katie