AN: Hello lovelies I am so so so sorry, I took so long with this chapter. I wanted to get it just right because from here on, there will be drama, BDSM, and lemons. LOTS AND LOTS OF LEMONS! So I won't keep you guys waiting any longer. Here's Chapter 4!

I do not own Fifty Shades. All rights and privileges go to E.L. James

Chapter 4 CPOV

Shortly after drifting off to sleep, I received a call from Flynn telling me that he had time to see me after all. I jumped at the opportunity; Flynn very rarely does last minute appointments. Now as I sit back and reflect on the session, I realize that a lot has to change in my life.

* FLASHBACK*

"So Christian, you wanted to talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind".

John fucking Flynn. I have the strangest love hate relationship with this man. I started seeing him right when I became a detective. After being shuffled between therapists as a kid, I was relieved to finally find someone who didn't annoy me so goddamned much. Flynn's no angel; he has his moments. But I guess I've come to think of him as a friend in some ways.

"Just work, John. It's been getting to me more than usual. Day after day I see these kids, in terrible conditions and it fucks with my head." I throw my head back and run my hands over my face.

"Did something happen at work today" he asks pointedly.

I tell him about the kids we found, how filthy they were. There was no food in any of the fridges, and the all were being raised by shit parents. It reminded me of my mother.

"And why did it remind you of her?" I look at John with a confused expression on my face.

"Why did those kids remind you of your mother?" he clarifies. I must've said that part out loud.

"I don't know" I reply, "Maybe because those kids had a shitty example of one just like I did. Maybe because I hope that I did something good and they actually do have better lives"

"Now why would you think you didn't do something good?" I hate when he wants to get deep with me.

Why? Because maybe I was too fucking late to save those kids? The damage may already be done. Maybe they'll grow up to be fucked up just like me, or even worse? All because I couldn't save them in time. So much for trying to do some good. But of course I won't say this all to John, that will just open up a whole other can of worms that I'm not ready to deal with.

"I think I might be getting bored with BDSM" I attempt to change the conversation; I need to get the attention off that area.

John just goes with the flow, one of the things I like about him. But I do notice that he writes something in his notepad.

"Now what brought you to this realization?" he asks.

What did bring me to this? I guess that it's not fun. It definitely helped with stress but I'm not enjoying it as much as I used to. I need more, whatever that may mean.

"I think I'm just not getting the satisfaction from it that I used to."

Johns brows raise, almost to say "Oh really?"

"The last time I did a scene, it was my usual style. Petite, brunette. I caned her before tying her up and fucking her. Now normally, the minute the cane touches my hand, I can feel the adrenaline rush through me but this time, I felt nothing. It felt like a chore to be in there, whereas before I would run as soon as Elena told me there was some event going on"

I see Flynn tense at the mention of Elena. He and I have differing opinions about her,

"And how would you feel if Elena called now?" he asks pointedly.

How would I feel? Lately I have been irritated by our conversations. I dread any sort of contact with the woman.

"I would ignore her call," I answer truthfully. I see Flynn jot down a few notes.

My relationship with Elena has always been somewhat easy to handle. She came into my life at a time where I needed it. I was a 15 year old boy desperate for touch yet terrified of it at the same time. And along came Elena; she was my real life Aphrodite. No girl could compare and I followed her like a love sick moron for 6 years before I decided to become a Dom.

But now, all that had changed. Lust turned to resentment. And in replacement of the gratitude I once held for, was pure disgust. The thought of her around me or any of my family that she had fooled through the years, filled me with a blinding rage.

"And why does she disgust you?" Flynn interrupts my thoughts. I realize that I've been speaking my thoughts again.

"Because she makes me hate myself. I'm a detective for crying out loud John. I handle cases involving sexual and physical abuse of children and I, I...I-"

"You couldn't see that she was a pedophile" John says, finishing my sentence for me.

What he says next, sends a sobering chill down my spine.

"You pride yourself as doing some good and wanting to help these children who are victims of atrocious crimes and you go after the perverts and degenerates who hurt them. Yet you couldn't see for yourself that, the woman you considered to be your truest friend, was actually just like those perverts"

"It was different. I was different"

"No Christian, you weren't. What she did to you was just as wrong as what you see happening to the children you rescue. You were a victim. And the sooner you accept it, the better your life will be"

*END FLASHBACK*

The rest of my week dragged on painfully. I didn't go to the club that night Elena called me. After speaking with Flynn, I am more determined to get this woman out of my life. Of course there is the issue of her being my mother's best friend; I know what I have to do to fix that, but I can't bring myself to do it just yet.

"Hey mom, you know Elena, your best friend? Well from the age of 15 to 21 I let her tie me up and beat me before fucking me. And guess what, I do it to other women now!" Yea that won't go over well. As for me deciding to leave BDSM, I'm just as clueless. I don't know the first thing about relationships outside of hard limits and safe words. What the hell am I going to do now?

I'm relieved that it's Saturday and that I get a reprieve from work. Even though Rawlings gave me two days off, the remaining three days were hectic. I decide to go for a run to clear my head a bit.

As I head out my apartment building, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I check and see that it's my brother Elliot calling. If I don't pick up, he'll just keep calling.

"Elliot," I answer, coolly, "What is it?"

"Well helloooo to you too Mr. Warmth" I hear him laughing over the phone.

"Elliot, what do you want? I'm heading out for a run."

"Well little bro, while I'm happy to know that you are staying active, I wanted to see if you would come out tonight. Kate's friend Ana is in town and she wants to take her to dinner and some club downtown."

While I despise eye-rolling, I find it to be a nasty habit, I can't help but do it whenever Elliot mentions Katherine Kavanagh. She's his latest flavor of the month that seems to have extended her welcome. She and Elliot share an apartment in the Pike Market District downtown.

"Elliot, while I appreciate the offer, I'm not really in the mood for a club". Technically it is true, because I don't want to go clubbing, but I mainly don't want to be in the same room as Kate. She irritates the shit out of me.

"Oh come on bro! You're 27! Not 72! Live a little!"

I feel my patience wearing thin as I pinch the bridge of nose.

"Elliot I really don- "

"Look," Elliot says cutting me off, "How about, just come out to dinner with us and we'll take things from there. Sounds good?"

If I say no, he'll keep at it. Might as well agree and get it over with.

"You said Kate's friend is in town. Is she cute?" Elliot laughs

"She's hot man. I mean nobody is better looking than my Katie-girl but Ana is definitely a looker."

"What else do I need to know about her?"

Elliot rambles off some info about Kate's friend. Ana apparently is a detective like me in New York. I don't know if that scares me or excites me. I've never made a habit of dating female detectives. Then again, I never made a habit of dating at all.

Begrudgingly I agree. While my idea of a good Saturday night usually doesn't involve dealing with my brother and his girlfriend, I'm willing to make an exception. I'm curious to meet this Ana. Elliot obviously likes her, so she can't be that bad. And maybe, this could be an attempt at normal. After arranging to meet at his place at 8pm, I end the call and head out for my run.

Please let this be worth it.

APOV

After a few mimosas, followed by some more pampering at the spa, Kate and I finally make it back to her and Elliot's apartment.

I stumble into her living room and throw myself on the couch, exhausted. Kate comes by and gives me a swat on the butt.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" she asks disbelievingly.

"I'm resting, Kate. I've been up since 7am and I had four mimosas before 5pm. I'm exhausted!" Jeez, has she ever heard of a midday nap?

"I know but we need to decide on what you're wearing for dinner tonight. Elliot's brother agreed to come out with us"

Really? I try to hide my excitement. If Kate picks up on it, she'll go into hyper drive and the last thing I want is to be overwhelmed before meeting this guy.

"Fine, but can we make it quick, I need at least a 30 minute nap, otherwise I'll pass out before the appetizers show up."

Kate squeals and jumps up and down excitedly.

"Oh my God, I think I have something in my closet for you", she runs off into her room like a woman on a mission.

"Actually Kate," I call out, "I did some shopping before I flew out here. I was hoping to get your approval on some of the things I picked".

Normally, I don't care what people think but to get a seal of approval from Kate would really boost my confidence.

Kate walks back into the living room, her eyes wide with amazement.

"What?!" I ask

"You went shopping all by yourself?" If her eyes get any wider, they'll fall out of her head.

"Yes Kate, I did and I want you to help me pick something out"

"But, but w-where did you shop at?" she stammers out. I know I complain about shopping but I didn't think it would be that hard for my best friend to believe that I would go do it by myself.

"I don't remember, I think Saks, Bloomie's and a bunch of other shops on 5th Avenue" I answer nonchalantly.

Suddenly Kate gets all misty eyed and a lone tear slips down her cheek.

"Ana I never thought I was see the day that you would go shopping by yourself, let alone on 5th Avenue!"

She runs to me and envelopes me in a bear hug.

"Honey I'm so proud of you!" she squeals. Leave it to Kate to make a big deal out of nothing.

"Alright, alright" I say as I try to get out of her grasp. "Now are you going to help me find something to wear or not".

Finally after God knows how long, we settle on our outfits. I decide to lie down and take a quick nap but Kate once again prevents me from doing so.

"Ana! Get up, it's 6:30, Christian's going to be here at 8! Come we have to get ready!"

Running on less than 6 hours of sleep? It's going to be a long night

After being poked at incessantly by Kate, I'm finally ready for the night. With her help, I decided to wear my Guess Crochet Mix Dress from Bloomingdale's. It's black and short, but not too revealing. It has a cutout lace back with a button closure at the top.

I also borrowed a pair of her Christian Louboutin So Kate black pumps. My hair has been curled and pinned to the side. Kate has done my makeup dramatically, with a smoldering smokey eye that brings out the blue of my irises. I look good. And more surprisingly, I feel good!

Kate on the other hand is wearing a BCBGeneration Mesh Yoke Dress that I bought for myself. I was surprised when she decided to wear it. I never thought I'd see the day that she would borrow something from me. But it looks great on her.

Her strawberry blonde locks fall in waves down her back. Her face is framed by diamond tear drop earrings, a Christmas gift from her dad. And she completes the whole look with a gorgeous pair of Christian Louboutin Divinoche 160 Suede Black & Gold pumps. She's flawless.

Elliot finally comes out of he and Kate's bathroom dressed in a nice button up with dress pants. He came back right after Kate and I finalized our outfits.

"Hubba, hubba! Check out you two babes!"

Kate and I laugh as we put the finishing touches on; we check for any faulty eye liner or lose hairs.

"Christian is going to cum in his pants when he sees you"

I roll my eyes as I dab away some lipstick. "That's so not the point of tonight Kate"

"I know, I know. But I'm telling you, you're going to have him eating out of the palm of your hands by the end of the night."

Just then there's a knock at the door. Kate squeals and sprints out the room.

"I'll get it!" she yells out.

CPOV

At 8 o'clock, I find myself standing outside the door to Elliot and Kate's apartment. I am half tempted to turn around and go home but I know it'll make things bad between Elliot and I. Besides, it's just dinner…for now. If things look promising between me and Ana, then maybe I'll consider going to the club but if not, then I'm taking my ass home.

As soon as I knock on the door, I hear a voice on the other side that makes me cringe.

"I'll get it!" they yell out. Crap, it's Kate. Why couldn't Elliot answer and save me a few minutes of not having to interact with her?

Kate opens the door and beams at me.

"Christian! I'm so glad you could come tonight" She opens the door for me to enter.

"Katherine. And Elliot insisted so here I am" I don't care for Kate at all but I might as well try to keep things civil. Especially if I'm interested in her friend. Just then, my brother makes an appearance. He's dressed well, something I've always admired in him.

"Christian! You actually came. And well-dressed I might add" he says teasingly. I'm wearing a pair of Hugo Boss jeans with a nice button up shirt. It's not flashy but it's appropriate for the evening.

"Are you trying to impress someone?" Elliot asks me with a knowing grin on his face. I shake my head no with an impassive look on my face.

"I'll go see if Ana is ready" Kate says, the same knowing look etched on her face. I swear those two are perfect for each other, even if I can't stand her.

While we wait, Elliot asks if I would be able to come and look at some finance reports for his company. He owns his own construction company that is doing well and occasionally I give him financial advice.

"Hey bro, if you're so good with numbers, how come you never went into business?"

He hands me a beer from the fridge as I sit at the table in their kitchen.

"I don't know" I say taking a swig from the bottle. "Other opportunities presented themselves."

"I know" he says, "But you obviously love it. I know you still only read the finance section in the Times and your television is only on the channel with all that stock market stuff. So what gives?"

I take another swig of beer. "It's complicated, Elliot. And I really don't want to talk about it"

Elliot nods and finishes his bottle, effectively ending that conversation. I'm thankful for it, as I don't really want to get into my self-loathing issues with my brother.

"Man what is taking these girls so long? Kate let's get a move on, we've got reservations!"

"We're coming Grey, don't get your panties all in a twist". Surprisingly, it's not Kate who says it.

I'm walking back into the living room just when Ana walks in and for a minute time stands still.

When Elliot said she was a looker, he was clearly understating her looks. This woman is gorgeous! Her legs go for miles; they were like an endless road that I'd want nothing more than to traverse. The dress she's wearing fits her like a glove, accentuating her curves, and making her even more enticing than she already was. But what draws me the most to her, are her eyes. Piercing blue and icy, it's as if she could see through me. She is a sorceress and I am stuck under her spell.

Kate interrupts my staring to formerly introduce us.

"Christian, this is Anastasia" she says as I extend my hand to her friend.

"Anastasia, beautiful name for a beautiful girl" I say as I give her my most charming smile.

She blushes a deep red as she takes my hand.

"Thank you, and it's just Ana".

Our hands touch and I can feel a current shoot between us. It sends a wave of pleasure through my body, one that I've never felt before. I know she feels it too; an almost inaudible gasp slips from her mouth as our hands meet. Like a moth to a flame, I am drawn to this woman and I don't know why.

"Well" Elliot says rather impatiently, "If you all don't mind, I'm starving and we have reservations. Let's go!"

Kate grabs her coat and follows after Elliot as I help Ana slip into her jacket. My fingers brush against the nape of her neck and I can see her shudder slightly.

"Thank you" she says, blushing the same shade of red from earlier.

"My pleasure" I return, "After you"

I follow her out the door, simultaneously praying that tonight goes well and thanking whatever divine entity there may be for Katherine fucking Kavanagh.

I wanted to go a little further into the date, but the chapter would've been wayyy too long. So next chapter we get into the nitty gritty. Make sure to leave reviews and let me know what you think! xoxoxoxo- Rouge