A/N: When you finish this chapter, READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTES. I REPEAT, READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTES. It is VERY important. DO NOT SKIP OVER THEM. Other than that, I present to you:
Part 4. Enjoy.
I don't own FairyTail or any of it's contents.
"Speech"
'Thoughts'
"Flashbacks/Dreams"
Fallen Star
-O-
"She is like a falling star who has finally found
her place next to another in a lovely constellation,
where they will sparkle in the heavens forever."
- Amy Tan
-O-
"Push another epi!"
He was surrounded by darkness. His world stilled. His body was light, carefree. There was no pain. There was no agony. There was just nothing.
"Another one?!"
Where was here? Why was everything so dark? Where did all the light go?
"Yes! Hold down the rag- damn it! He's bleeding out!"
He couldn't remember anything. His memory was as pitch black as the abyss he was swimming in.
"I'm losing a pulse! Get ready for CPR!"
Suddenly, a light flashed, blinding him. He covered his eyes with his forearm.
"I'll charge the paddles!"
Once the flash disappeared, he lowered his arm, blinking. He readjusted his eyesight to come face to face with a small glimpse of light out in front of him.
"I lost a pulse!"
It was so warm, so welcoming. His hand instantly reached out for it.
"Dammit! Charge to 300!"
Natsu.
"Clear!"
Who was Natsu?
"Flatline!"
"Charge it again! 300!"
Natsu.
"Clear!"
Was he Natsu? Was that his name? He couldn't remember.
"Still no pulse!"
He reached out his hand, the tips of his fingers barely touching it. It was so gentle. It wasn't frightening at all. He felt himself smile. This light was welcoming, loving. He wanted more.
"Charge to 330!"
Soon the light enveloped his arm, then his leg. Soon, half his body was consumed in this light.
Natsu.
That was his name, right? He was Natsu?
"CLEAR!"
Natsu! Let's go play!
He stopped himself from further enveloping himself in the light, his eyes wide open, the smile fading from his face.
Are you giving up that easily, Natsu?
That voice.
He knew that voice.
He didn't know from where, but he knew it.
"How long has he been down?"
"7 minutes."
"Dammit! Charge to 350!"
"Bu-but he's practically dead!"
"I don't care! Charge it to 350!"
This isn't the Natsu I know! The Natsu I know doesn't give up! He doesn't back down!
That voice! He knew it! He knew it! Where? Where did he know it from!?
Be strong! How you always have been! Be that courageous dragon you've always wanted to be!
The light suddenly intensified again. He cringed as the he looked away. Half his body was consumed, the other still in the darkness.
He didn't want to go back to the darkness. The darkness was scary and unknowing. The light was welcoming and pure. It was gentle and sincere. The darkness was haunting.
Don't give up, Natsu! Stay. Stay here, with me. We're a team, aren't we?
His eyes shot open as his lost memories filled his mind and crushed him. There were so many. So many people, so many adventures, so much pain, but so much happiness.
Pink hair. A white scarf.
Red hair. Strong eyes.
Raven hair. Stripper.
Black hair. Pierced face.
Blue hair. Books everywhere.
And so many others. All these people. All this memories. They filled him to a point where he felt like he was going to explode. He felt a headrush with all these thoughts, and words, and sounds, and names. He wanted it to stop. Stop all this. He couldn't handle it. It was just too much.
A quick flash encased him. And there was another figure. This figure was radiating, like the sun.
Blonde hair. Loving smile. Innocent brown eyes.
Come on, Natsu!
That voice! It was that voice, again! Who! Who was it!?
I can't do this without you. You're my best friend, Natsu.
He remembered.
He remembered everything.
Those innocent brown eyes, that gentle, loving smile, her long, shining blonde hair. Her sweet voice, her curvaceous body, her strong nature, her uplifting personality.
The bruises. The cuts. The marks. The lies. The deceit. The gun shots. The screaming. The blood. The pain. The agony. The suffering.
Lucy.
It was Lucy.
Lucy Heartfilia.
His best friend and the girl he fell in love with.
The girl he promised to protect. The girl he swore to love with every inch of fiber within him. The girl that brought him out of his darkness. The girl who never gave up on him. The girl who always had his back. The girl he was never letting go of.
"CLEAR!"
Suddenly, his body felt on fire. His chest felt like it was caving in on itself. It felt like he was being ripped apart and the sudden jolt was excruciatingly painful. He was in absolute agony as tiny burst of electricity ravaged his body. The light that was once engulfing him was pulling away and the darkness was once again consuming him.
"Again! Charge to 350!"
He felt his shoulder burning. The intensity of the pain made him grit his teeth as he clutched his right shoulder to subdue the physical, throbbing pang.
"CLEAR!"
There was that jolt again and the light finally was ripped away. His chest felt heavy and there was a burning sensation in his stomach. It felt as if someone was gnawing at it, ripping away all the organs and intestines within him. It was sharp and gruelingly unbearable.
"He's back! I have a pulse!"
It hurt so much! He felt himself being turned inside out. He couldn't take the stabbing in his right shoulder or the tormenting gnawing at his stomach. He felt suffocated and the pain sensors in his body we're going haywire. Everything was moving at hundreds of miles per hour.
"Hang in there kid. We're almost there."
The darkness was swirling around him and the light faded. His pain was on overdrive. He wanted it to stop, but he knew that if it did, he was dead. And he couldn't let himself die. Not when he had a promise to fulfill and a life to live.
Hang on, Lucy. I'm coming.
-O-
"Push another epi! Get me the damn morphine! And where are those damn x-rays!"
He could hear faint voices.
"I need another unit of blood!"
He didn't recognize any of these voices. There was lots of screaming and shouting. There was a small beeping noise next to him.
"Tell surgery we're on our way in 5!"
His head was swirling. His mouth felt dry, his body heavy.
"Ugh..." He moaned quietly, his senses finally coming back to him. Everything in his body felt numb. Whatever drugs they had him under really did the job, though, he felt horrible.
"Doctor! He's waking up!" Another voice shouted.
"Relax, Natsu. Everything will be fine. Just rest your eyes, son."
"Lu… Lu.. Lu-shi… -cy... Ugh." He mumbled, trying to coherently call out Lucy's name, as he groaned in pain. He felt the medicine overcoming him once more.
There was another beeping sound.
"Son, don't speak. Everything will be okay. Rest."
"Lu-cy!" He cried out, gritting his teeth. His breathing became haggard and heavy, coming in in gasps of air.
"Is Lucy the young girl who came in with him?" Natsu faintly heard the woman voice ask quietly, in a hushed tone.
"Yes." There was a melancholic tone to his statement. He didn't like it. He sounded too grim.
"But sir, didn't she-"
"Enough! He's conscious!"
The pink haired boy groaned, a little louder. He needed to know Lucy was okay. He needed to make sure that she wasn't dead. He needed to know. Where was Lucy? Lucy! Where was she?
"Natsu. Just rest."
He heard the faint ding of the elevator. And his body was being rolled away on the stretcher. He could hear more voices and clattering of equipment. He could hear sounds around him. He could smell the sterile smell of the room he was now in. His eyes barely managed to open and there was a bright light shining down upon him.
If it wasn't for the pain and dreadful fatigue he was feeling, he would have thought he was coming face to face with death again.
"Alright kid. It's time for you to sleep."
There was a mask being put over his mouth and he could feel the air from the mask hitting his pale, chapped lips, entering his mouth.
All his previous thoughts started diminishing as his body immediately relaxed. The sudden urge to sleep was powerful. He felt himself being pulled away from reality and entering a long sleep. Without as so much as a resistance, his eyes closed on their own accord and his breathing began to even itself. His mind switched the off button and he was once again enveloped by darkness. But before he was put out, he muttered a single word.
"Lucy..."
He remembered the next time he woke up, he was in his own private room. He was laying still in a hospital bed, a faint sound of ambulance sirens echoing through his window. The room was still and dark. He remembered feeling so tired, so weary. His body was still heavy and it hurt to move even an inch. He groaned in pain and felt so fatigued. His own body was drugged with every type of painkiller available, which he wasn't opposed to.
His arm was in a sling and he remembered just how rending it was to even move it. His stomach also felt sore and searing. He tried to stretch, but it hurt so damn bad that he cried out in a violet yell that was loud enough to alert a passing nurse.
The nurse came rushing in and called for his doctor immediately. He remembered they laid him back down, though he was opposed to it and started thrashing around. But once the doctor came in and sedated him, he calmed down.
And of course, after his pain subdued, he asked for the one person who was concerned with.
Lucy.
"How do you feel, Natsu?"
The pink haired boy scoffed, a frown adorning his chapped lips. His scowl scrunched up as he tried to sit himself up without moving around too much. His shoulder was still throbbing and he could feel it stiffen on it's own.
"I feel like I was hit by a bus." He commented dryly as he rubbed his shoulder lightly.
"Which is understandable." His doctor responded. "The bullet ripped through your organs and destroyed your kidney. We had to take out your destroyed kidney and rearrange and repair some of your intestines. Also, your shoulder tendons were severely shredded from the impact of the bullet. Not only that, you have a broken rib and two cracked ones. Needless to say, you won't be able to move around for a while."
Natsu grimaced, cringing at the words leaving the doctor's mouth.
"Damn bastard..." He muttered, cursing Jude Heartfilia for the condition he was in.
"You we're lucky, Natsu. You lost a lot of blood and fell into cardiac arrest twice. Not to mention, hadn't the police arrived when they did, you would have been dead with a bullet to your head. Instead, you only suffered a minor graze on the side of your neck."
The onyx eyed boy looked up at his doctor and unconsciously reached for his neck, clutching the spot where the bullet just grazed him. There were bandages wrapped around his wound and he rubbed it lightly.
"There will be a scar most likely, but nevertheless, you are lucky to be alive."
It was then that it hit him. He was alive. He was alive. No matter how crummy and lousy he felt, he was alive. He was breathing and lived to see another day.
His eyes went wide. Lucy. Where was Lucy? Was she okay? Was she alive?
"You are going to be in a lot of pain for awhile and it will take a while to get you back to your normal routine. You're going to need physical thera-"
"LUCY! Where is she!?" The doctor was caught off guard as Natsu's voice rose suddenly. His mind was racing and his hands were clammy and sweaty. His heart was racing and he couldn't breathe. He could feel the strain and toll on his body as he jerked and moved around, but he didn't care. He just had to know if she was okay, if she was alive.
"Where is Lucy!? Tell me!" He said as he reached for the doctor with his one working hand and pulled on the front of his scrubs. The doctor went wide eyed as Natsu pulled him towards him. The pink haired boy knew he was being rash again. His abrupt behavior always got him into all sorts of trouble.
"Whoa! Calm down, Natsu!"
"WHERE'S LUCY!?" There was a velocity in his tone that he didn't even know he had. He wouldn't calm down until someone told him where Lucy was. He had to make sure she was okay. He needed to make sure she was okay. He had to know she was breathing.
"Natsu! Shouting won't answer your question!" The older man stated, carefully peeling the pink haired boy's hand off of his shirt so he didn't hurt him.
"I don't care, dammit! Where's Lucy!?"
The air suddenly chilled as the doctors face fell, crest-fallen and dejected. He sucked in a breath, bracing himself for the worst news. He could feel tears form at the rims of his eyes, not believing that Lucy had left him. But the desolate look the doctor was giving him did not bring him hope. But he didn't want to believe that Lucy was dead. No. Lucy was strong. She would survive. She survived this long!
"If something happened to her and you guys weren't able to do something about it, I will kick all of your guys asses!" The pyro shouted, his eyes becoming watery with every word.
"You guys saved my life! You even said that I was lucky to have lived! So the fact that you were able to keep me alive just proves how good you are!" He held his breath, refusing to let his tears fall. "So you better have saved Lucy's life too!"
The doctor took a deep breath, a grim line replacing the wistful look adorning his older features.
"Lucy Heartfilia had extensive injuries. Despite the gash on her forehead and concussion she suffered, she was shot three times. Once in abdomen, twice in the chest. The bullet to her abdomen caused a rupture in her liver and she was bleeding profoundly. Not only that, one of the shots to her chest was so impactful that it caused a collapsed lung and the other was so close to her heart that it was almost inoperable."
Natsu clenched his one suitable, healthy hand, grating his teeth together as he scowled at the bed sheets in front of him. He still refused to cry. He couldn't cry. He had to be strong. He had to be strong for Lucy.
But this emotional pain within in was far greater than anything he had ever experienced.
"On her way here, she had coded twice. In the operating table, two more times. They had to manually massage her heart to keep it going as they removed the bullet from that area. She lost more blood than they could provide. Her vitals were low and she wasn't responding to any medication, any treatment."
"No..." He muttered to himself, knowing the dreaded words that were coming next. The infamous 'I'm sorry, but there was nothing more we could do' line was coming up. Which was shortly followed by 'He/She died.' And Natsu refused to hear those words.
The tears were still at the rims of his eyes, building silently.
"There wasn't anything else we could do." No. He refused to listen! Lucy was NOT dead. She was stronger than that! Lucy was NOT dead. She's ALIVE.
"But, she pulled through."
His eyes went wide and he looked up at the doctor with shock, his tears now falling freely down his cheeks. The doctor was now giving him a small, sad smile.
"Though her injuries were great, she pulled through. After her final cardiac arrest, she remained stable long enough for the surgeons to repair her injuries." His smile disappeared, making Natsu worry, and thin line replaced it. "Though, because of the extent of her injuries and the taxation it did to her body along with her being down so long, which prevented oxygen from going to her brain, there is no telling when she will awake."
"Wait! You mean Lucy's in a-"
"Coma. Yes. Ms. Heartfilia's currently in the ICU right now. She is still not stable enough to move into a private room where she isn't being monitored at all times. She has been in a coma for a week now. As you have been out for a week also. We predicted for you to awake within the next week. But, for the young Heartfilia, there is no telling when she will awake, if she does." He added in a soft mumble at the end.
His mind was circling with information. Natsu was feeling overwhelmed again. Like he did when he had a history test and had to stuff a bunch of pointless information he was going to forget right after.
Lucy was alive.
She was alive.
But at the same time, there was a chance she wouldn't wake up.
Ever again.
The pink haired boy cursed himself. He couldn't protect Lucy. Instead, Lucy protected him. She was hauling him out the door when he was withering in pain. She was dragging him to safety. She took the bullets for him. She saved him.
And he couldn't do a thing to help her.
"Natsu." With a fallen, angry face, he looked up at the doctor, fury and regret in his eyes.
"If you ask me, I think Ms. Heartfilia will pull through. The fact that she made it this far with the type of injuries she suffered is more than enough proof that she is strong willed enough to make it."
Natsu casted the doctor a suspicious look. Though the odds weren't in the favor, he also believed that Lucy could pull through. He would never give up on her. He would never lose faith in her. She would come back to him. He knew it.
"She's strong. She doesn't know when to give up. Lucy will keep pushing until she's won! Luce doesn't take shit from anybody!" Except from her no good father.
Natsu immediately stilled. Her father! How could he forget her father! What happened to him!? He thought to himself as his eyes went wide.
"The damn bastard! What happened to him!? Did he get away!? Did they catch him!?" Questions rapidly came off Natsu's tongue like vomit. He felt himself boil from within, thinking to how it was all her father's fault that he and Lucy had both ended up in this predicament. That he was lying in a hospital bed and Lucy was in a coma. It was all that asshole's fault.
He remembered that he couldn't calm himself down even after the doctor had asked him too. It wasn't until the doctor threatened to sedate him again that he decided to calm down. Once he settled down, the doctor told him all that happened.
Apparently, right after he was shot in the abdomen, the police had shown up and shot Jude Heartfilia, which made the bastard's last shot miss him entirely and only nicked him in the neck. The police had shot Lucy's dad a few more times until he went down. He knew now that that must have been all the ruckus going on when he knocked out from the blood loss and pain.
He and Lucy were taken to Tokyo University Hospital immediately. Jude followed right behind them. When the doctor told him that Jude was alive, but in custody, he was beyond livid. He remembered thinking how unfair it was that Lucy's tormentor was alive and recovering while Lucy's life was still hanging in the balance. He remembered how he wanted nothing more than to go to Jude Heartfilia's room and finish the job himself.
The doctor also told him that once Jude Heartfilia was stable enough, he would be transferred to the State Prison for attempted murder. But he knew how much the judicial system sucked and told the doctor that there was more to charge the bastard with. That ended in him being questioned by the police where they asked him to retell the events that happened that night. He also made sure to tell them of the older Heartfilia raping and assaulting Lucy and what happened the night Lucy revealed her horrifying secret to him.
Though there wasn't evidence of rape anymore, there was enough evidence to charge her father for assault because of the old breaks and cracks in her bones that never healed properly. They had shown up on her x-rays and it was enough to prove half of his statement, though the police also secretly believed him when it came to his statement of his blonde friend being sexually assaulted.
He remembered he also had another problem to deal with.
His friends.
His other family other than Lucy and Happy.
Fairy Tail.
"Because you don't have immediate family, I contacted your legal guardian, Mr. Makarov Dreyar. He's the headmaster of Fairy Tail Academy, is he not? Do you attend Fairy Tail?" Natsu choked on his drink and spit it out. He paled immediately. If the old man knew, he knew that soon all of Fairy Tail would know. Which meant that Erza and all his friends would know. And if they all knew, they were going to barging in on him any day now and demand answers and explanations. Especially Erza. Erza was going to kill him.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah he is. And yeah, I do." He gulped, the corners of his forehead forming sweat.
"How that happened I would like to know." He chuckled as he wrote down the process of Natsu's recovery. "Anyway, right after I sen you up for surgery, I contacted him and told him what happened."
"Wait! Exactly did you tell him!?" He abruptly cut off his doctor, who looked surprised.
"I just told him that you were shot and were currently in the middle of surgery." Natsu let out a relieved sigh, happy that they hadn't told the older man the details and why this happened.
"But when he arrived, the police told him what happened and when he learned that Ms. Heartfilia was also involved, he was rather enraged. I didn't know that the headmaster cared so much for his students."
Natsu could feel the cold sweat. He was actually really frightened at this moment. Makarov knew the truth. Well, not entirely, but he would also be stopping by and demanding answers and the truth. Though he knew he would face the wrath of his headmaster, he was still relieved to finally get this secret out in the open. It had been eating him alive.
Not only that, he was constantly mulling over Lucy and demanding to see her. But the doctors had told him he couldn't. Natsu himself hadn't recovered enough to walk for long periods of time. and going to Lucy's side would strain his body. Not only that, because he was recovering, he was restricted from entering the ICU. He could catch an infection from the others or give something to other patients.
"The old man cares a lot for us. Lucy especially. Ever since her mom died, the old geezer watched over her a lot. She wasn't the only one, but she was one of them, along with me. There's a group of us he has a soft spot for. I guess you could say that we're all fucked up some way or another, but he's always been there for us when no other adult has."
"I could tell. Despite his size, Mr. Dreyar was definitely not a force to be reckon with. After the police told him of Ms. Heartfilia's condition, it took all of us to prevent him from killing Jude Heartfilia himself. Luckily for us, his grandson was able to restrain him." Natsu laughed out loud, grabbing onto his stomach, no matter how much pain he was in. The pink haired boy could hardly imagine a group of people trying to stop a small man from his fury.
"And because Ms. Heartfilia also does not have immediate family, Mr. Makarov also entitled himself as her official guardian." The onyx eyed boy stopped laughing and looked up at the doctor.
"He did?" The older man nodded, a gentle smile gracing his lips.
"Yes. He came by every night when you were out to visit both you and Lucy. The second night, a young scarlet haired woman and dark haired man came along with him. They returned every night you were out." Natsu paled again. Scarlet and raven haired woman and man. That was definitely Erza and Gray he thought to himself.
The injured boy gulped. Not only did the old man know, but so did Erza and Gray and Laxus and who knew who else. They were all going to bombard him for answers and knowing Erza, she was going to be the worst of them all. Not only was Erza like a sister to him, she cared deeply for Lucy. Any harm coming to Lucy and she immediately put a stop to it. And the damn stripper was overprotective of her too.
He was dead.
And no more than a few hours later, the headmaster of Fairy Tail had come and visited him. He remembered how frightened he was to face his guardian. When he arrived, he tried everything he could to avoid talking to Makarov, but his doctor forced him too.
It didn't help that all his friends were there also.
Of course the old geezer visited him and didn't allow anyone to be in there with him. He remembered he was scared the hell out of his mind.
Natsu gripped the sheets of his bad as he heard the door open. He gulped, knowing that he was about to be in for a lecture of a lifetime. Hopefully the state he was in would calm the man down. Maybe it would calm him down enough to not kill him for keeping such a dark secret.
"Natsu." Called boy immediately looked up. There in front of him stood his headmaster and legal guardian, Makarov Dreyar.
He had this hard, stern look in his eyes that normally had the kids at Fairy Tail running for their lives. The pink haired boy usually didn't fall victim to this intimidating look for he was constantly challenging the headmaster and giving him a run for his money. But at this moment, he felt like an insignificant ant hoarding food to it's queen, or in this instance, king.
"Hiya gramps!" He gave him a forced smile and raised his mobile left hand for a wave. "Nice seeing you here!"
"You stupid brat!" Natsu went wide eyed, suddenly fearing for his life.
"Wha? Old man! Huh? Wai-Wait! Don't throw that at- OUCH!" Natsu clutched his head with his one good hand, crying anime tears as he sniffled while Makarov scoffed at his student's pettiness.
"Damn it, old geezer! Can't you see I'm INJURED!" Natsu yelled, rubbing his head.
"Yes I can see that you stupid child! You stupid, stupid child!" Makarov spoke to him in a condescending tone that fired Natsu up even more.
"So what you hitting me for, dammit!?" He pouted, leaning back against his pillow, trying to cross his arms, but to no avail, couldn't because of his useless deadbeat right arm.
"You had us all worried sick, you damn brat! Not only are you part of Fairy Tail, but you are now under my guardianship! You pestering brats are like my children! And when my children are hurt, it is something I do not take lightly!"
He winced at the tone in his guardians voice. "So why the hell are you hitting me then!?"
"Because you are a fool, Natsu!" The short, older man's eyes narrowed, scrunching his eyebrows tightly together. "You do reckless things without thinking about the consequences! You are hot headed and brash! Dammit boy!"
Natsu could hear the quivering in the older man's voice. In that minute, he felt guilty. Guilty for causing so much trouble and heartache to the man who took him in as one of his own.
"I'm sorry gramps. I didn't mean to worry everyone. I was just trying to do the right thing." The injured boy whispered, his face fallen.
"I suppose they told you about Lucy already…" He nodded his head, feeling a pull at his heart.
"Natsu." There was a soft yet authoritative tone in his headmaster's voice. It was the same voice he used when he asked the pink haired boy if he wanted to be under his guardianship.
"Tell me everything."
Releasing a rough sigh, he looked up at the only person Natsu considered a father figure in his life.
He told him everything.
When he finished telling Makarov, the room fell heavy with silence. His headmaster had fallen fairly quiet and not an ounce of emotion was visible on his face. He remembered he suspected for the man to explode with anger and wring him for keeping such a horrid secret. But as he told gramps the story, his face fell more and more. But not into anger or sadness, but into something worse. He went completely stoic. Natsu couldn't tell what he was thinking.
He remembered the old man told him that he was happy he was alright. He remembered that he told him he would come by and check on him later. And that Erza and everyone were waiting to see him. He asked the old man if he was upset with him, to which he responded with a single sentence.
"Sometimes, the wrong thing is the right thing to do, Natsu."
And with that, he walked out.
He had never felt so defeated, so pathetic. He felt like it was all his fault. He could have prevented all that happened. If he hadn't listened to Lucy and just gone to the police, he wouldn't had to be in the hospital and Lucy would have never been in a coma. He wouldn't have caused so much worry. And when his friends came in to see him, he didn't bother masking his pain, his regret, his guilt.
"Natsu?"
Called boy looked up to see the infamous Erza Scarlet standing at the door. Her eyes were always so confident and strong. She always had the perfect posture and stood with a sense of sophistication. She was always the rational, level headed one of the group.
He smiled weakly. "Hey Erza."
And for the first time in his life, Erza Scarlet embraced him in a hug. Not just the silly hugs or the one armed or forced hugs she gave him all his life, but the hugs that meant something. He went wide eyed, shocked at how fast she was able to get to his bedside from the door. She was squeezing him against her chest and if he thought he heard right, hold back a sob.
"Er-Erza?" He whispered in question.
"You damn idiot, Natsu! Don't you dare worry us like that ever again!" She pulled away and with wide eyes that almost popped out of his head, saw the fierce and unbreakable Erza Scarlet with watery eyes. She wasn't sobbing, she wasn't crying, but there were tears in her eyes. Tears that could easily cascade down her face.
His face dropped, feeling another pull at his heart. "I'm sorry, Erza. I didn't mean to have you all worried."
"Don't you think you cut it pretty close, flamebrain?" He looked over Erza's shoulder to see his enemy and number one rival, Gray Fullbuster walk in. He was wearing a scowl and to Natsu's surprise, clothes.
The pink haired boy couldn't stop the smirk from appearing on his lips. "Maybe, underwear freak."
Gray smiled under his scowl, walking over to his bedside.
"It's good to see you haven't kicked the bucket yet." Natsu gave his number one rival a grin.
"Not yet! We got a match to settle!"
Gray merely rolled his eyes with a smile tugging at his lips.
"Fuck, Salamander! Who the hell do you think you are!? You think you could just go and get yourself shot and then die and magically come back to life! The fuck you think you are! Don't think that this means I can't beat the living shit out of you!"
Natsu stifled a laugh as Gajeel Redfox stomped his way into the room with a scowl embedded on his face. He looked so upset, so worked up. He was snarling and coming at Natsu with an intent to kill. The pyro noticed that at his side, Levy McGarden was pulling at his arm, trying to stop him from hurting the already injured boy.
"Gajeel, please. Natsu's already hurt! You don't need to add to his suffering anymore!" She pulled at his arm, but not surprisingly, was no match. She casted him a sorry looked.
"I'm sorry Natsu. I'm trying here. But it is really good to see you're okay. We were all so worried about you. And though he wouldn't admit it, Gajeel was too." Everyone in the room chuckled and Gajeel turned red, stopping in his tracks. For a brief second, Natsu could see the sadness in the bluenette's eyes. And he knew why. Other than Gajeel, Lucy was the only other person Levy hung around with. She used to hang out with Jet and Droy a lot, but since middle school, she and Lucy had become incredibly close.
"The hell!? Fuck no! Now let me go, shorty! Dammit! I'm going to give this damn asshole a piece of my mind!"
"I advise you to stop, Gajeel." Erza's authoritative tone rang throughout the room. "I know how much of a nuisance Natsu can be, but now is not the time to punish him for his stupidity."
Natsu deadpanned at Erza's words. "Hey! I'm not stupid!"
"Once he is healthy, then we will reprimand him for his foolish mistakes." Natsu gulped as a cold shiver ran down his spine. "Until then, if you as so much touch a single hair on his head, I will not hesitate to put you in a bed right next to him, understood?"
Natsu stifled a laugh as Gajeel turned bright red, then turn away from Erza as her threat hung in the air. He stalked to the back of the room, Levy tailed behind him. He snickered quietly to himself.
"And you!" He stood up straight at the sharp voice of Erza, despite the sudden pain in his abdomen.
"Don't think that just because you are injured that you're out of the woods!"
"Aye sir!"
The room was engulfed in laughter as Natsu cowered in Erza's presence. He grumbled to himself, low enough to where Erza wouldn't hear him.
He never remembered feeling so love in his life. Following his gang, he remembered more of his friends from Fairy Tail showed up. Jellal came next, wishing him a speedy recovery. Apparently, Juvia was outside the door the entire time, stalking Gray. She eventually made her way in when the Strauss siblings arrived. Lisanna tackled him in a light hug, crying and thanking kami he was alright. Elfman went on to say how he was a 'true man' for surviving and only 'real men' could take a bullet so easily. Mira, he remembered, he was surprised to see because she was attending Tokyo University at the time. But because of her relationship with Laxus, she had heard about his and Lucy's accident. And because she held Lucy very dear to her and saw her as another little sister, she had come immediately.
Nevertheless, she gave him a gentle hug and told him she was happy to see him alive and breathing. Erza and Gray relayed hellos and prayers from his other friends at Fairy Tail. He hadn't felt so loved in so long. Having all his friends by his side reminded him of all their crazy adventures and the good times they all had together.
But he knew that everyone was faking it just as much as he was. Nothing was right. Sure, they were celebrating that he had lived, but he knew that in the back of their minds, they were just as worried for Lucy as he was. But they didn't bring it up. Either they were afraid of how he would react or they just didn't have the heart to remind each other that Lucy was still in a coma and fighting to come back to them.
He also knew that they were weighing the ultimate question heavily of what happened and why did it happen. They were each finding the right moment to ask, but to their avail, it never came.
And he remembered that he was dreading it more than anything.
Eventually, his friends had started leaving. He knew some were itching for the truth behind what happened, but he wasn't spiling. At least now now. The Strauss siblings left first, then Juvia, much to her chagrin, then Jellal.
The only ones left in the room were Erza, the stripper, metal face, and Levy. The room felt tense and heavy. It was the same heavy silence that he encountered after he revealed the truth to the old geezer.
It was suffocating to say the least.
"Natsu."
The boy laying on the bed sighed, his eyes hard and grim. A scowl graced his tanned face. He knew Erza's different tones of voice by now. And this was one that you didn't object too.
"I know. You want to know what happened." He said, in a low voice, but enough for everyone in the room to hear.
He could hear Levy's voice hitch, Gajeel scoff, Gray clear his throat, and Erza release a penetrating sigh. This could either be bad or really bad, he thought to himself as he clutched the sheets of his bed again. And he knew that at the end of it, they were going to be more than just upset at him. They were going to be highly disappointed.
Just like the headmaster was.
"Don't leave out a single thing, Natsu." He wasn't going to object to Erza's request. He wasn't going to hide it any longer.
"For you guys to know why I'm in the hospital and Lucy's in a coma," the room stilled and he knew everyone stiffened, "I have to start from the beginning."
Everyone nodded. Gray pulled up a chair and sat down. Gajeel leaned against the wall while Levy sat in another chair right next to him. Erza sat silently, in the chair at Natsu's bedside. He nodded and inhaled deeply. He released his sigh. He didn't even notice that his hand was shaking.
"It all started after Lucy's mom died…"
And he told them everything, not leaving out a single detail, just like Erza requested. He told them as much as Lucy had told him; from the first time her father had hit her to the first time he raped her. After he finished telling them about Lucy's first time being sexually assaulted, he remembered how stifling and silent the room was. He remembered looking up and casting small glances at the people in the room.
Levy had her hands clasped around her mouth with tears running down the sides of her face.
Gajeel had this deathening scowl and fury filled eyes.
Gray had his arms entwined in front of him, clenching them so tightly that his knuckles were pale white. He was resting his head against his hands and was deathly still.
Erza was probably the worst.
Her face was stoic like gramps was, but her eyes were swirling with emotions. She was grasping her hands tightly in her lap.
He remembered looking back down at his hands, guilt hitting him hard.
He then continued the story, telling them all Lucy had told him, which wasn't very much considering she hardly talked to him about what happened.
And after he finished retelling the story of when Lucy showed up to his door bloodied and broken and what had happened only a week earlier that lead to both of them being in the hospital, hell broke lose.
Natsu watched with heavy eyes as Levy sobbed in her chair. Gray abruptly stood from his chair and made his way out of the room without a sound. The onyx eyed boy could hear Gajeel cursing to himself and probably to him as well as he walked towards the window and punched the wall. And Erza hadn't said a word. Her face was hidden by her scarlet red hair. He couldn't read her.
"You're such a fuckin' idiot, Salamander!" He heard Gajeel say as he punched the wall again. "You had the fuckin' chance to prevent this! You had the chance to stop all this from happening!" The pierced faced teenager turned away from the window and walked towards Natsu, grabbing him by the front of his hospital gown.
"If you had some fuckin' common sense, you would have called the fuckin' police! If you had just half a brain in the fuckin' skull of yours, you wouldn't be laying on your ass in that fuckin bed right now! And Lucy wouldn't be in a fuckin' coma fighting to stay alive! All this could have been prevented had you just used your fuckin' brain you dumbass!"
"I KNOW!" Natsu shouted back, tears forming at his eyes. He knew exactly what Gajeel was telling him. He knew it was his fault that they were in the hospital right now and Lucy was still at life or death.
He peeled himself away from Gajeel's grasp, falling against the bed.
"Don't you think I know that?! Don't think that for a second I didn't think about telling someone at every moment! You know how hard it was for me to see Lucy the way she was!? To see her so broken and hurt! It killed me! And even after that, she still didn't want me to say anything! She asked me to not say anything! I was so angry at her for protecting that damn bastard! More than anything, I wanted to say something!"
"Then why the hell didn't you say anything!? You lied to me, Natsu! I asked you! I fuckin' asked you! I asked you if someone was hurting her and you lied to my fuckin face! You said she fell off a stupid ass horse! You had the chance to tell me then! You had the fuckin chance! All this could have been avoided had you told me, us!"
He bit back a remark as tears filled his eyes. He shut his eyes. He knew it was all his fault. He knew that all he needed to do was tell Erza or the headmaster and everything would have been taken care off. He knew that if he had just told someone, Lucy would be safe and out of harms way.
But he didn't.
He didn't and now Lucy's life was hanging by a mere thread.
"Is this true, Natsu?"
Natsu could hear Levy ask in a gasp. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. He couldn't bring himself to look into her eyes when they both knew full well that he lied straight to her face also.
"That day when I asked you if Lu-chan was okay. It was the day after her attack, wasn't it?" He heard Levy ask him, but Natsu said nothing. "You said she was alright, but really, she was in pain. She was in so much pain. You lied to me. You said she was okay. She was hurting. She was hurting so much!" He heard her cry out. The pink haired boy heard the chair screech against the hard floor as small footsteps made their way out of the room. He heard the door shut.
"Fuck." He heard Gajeel curse. "Damn it, Natsu. You really fucked up." Gajeel spat. He heard the strong footsteps of the dark haired teenager lead out the door; probably to follow after a heartbroken Levy.
He and Erza were the only ones in the room now. She hadn't said a word or even breathed a sound since he started and finished the story. As shitty and pathetic as Gajeel and Levy made him feel, Erza's silence hit him the worst. Gray walking out on him pulled at his gut, but Erza's silence was killing him.
The guilt stricken teenager glared down at his hand. Why didn't he tell Erza? Or the old man? Why didn't he just say something! Why did he have to hide it? He could have avoided all of this. He could have saved her. Why didn't the just say something?!
Of course he knew the answer to that. He didn't want to disappoint Lucy. He didn't want to break her trust. He fell victim to her pleading, battered, watery eyes. Natsu didn't want Lucy to feel like she couldn't go to him. He didn't want Lucy to feel betrayed.
But look where it had gotten them.
He was laying in a hospital bed, arm totally useless, abdomen severely screwed up. And Lucy was stuck to a machine, her chest having to be cut open and barely hanging on to her life.
Having Lucy feel betrayed and gaining back her trust was much better than the situation they were both in.
He didn't know what to say or where to start. Gajeel had pretty much laid it on him, chastising him and going off on him where he deserved it. He knew that if gray would have stuck around, he would have definitely joined in with Gajeel and make him feel worse than he already was.
And having Erza there being as silent as the darkness he was succumbed in earlier was disheartening.
"I'm sorry, Erza." Natsu knew apologizes wouldn't fix this. He knew that they were just mere words.
"I should have said something. I know. I should have." The pyro muttered. "But Lucy didn't want you guys to know. She was so against it. If you would have seen her, I think- I think you would have felt what I felt." The guilt stricken teenager scoffed. "What am I saying? Of course you would have done something!"
His scarlet companion had still not said a word.
"She was afraid, you know? Not for herself. For us. For me. She was afraid that her the damn bastard was going to find her and hurt not only her, but me, you, all of us. That's why she didn't want me to let you all know. Luce knew that we all would have killed the damn bastard. And she was afraid of us getting hurt." He scoffed again, a glare plastered on his battered face.
"She was willing to go back to the damn bastard just so we wouldn't get hurt. She was willing to continue being hurt, assault, damaged for the next two years. She was willing to wait until she was 18. Can you believe her? Can you believe Lucy?"
He recalled every memory, every conversation the two had about what she was going to do with her situation. Natsu could still hear her voice in the back of her mind as she profoundly argued against any of his suggestions. He could still see her clear as day.
"We ended up in this situation not only because of your absolute stupidity and nativity, but because of Lucy's idiotic sense of selflessness."
Natsu turned to Erza with shocked eyes. Her eyes were harsh and painfully cold. He cringed inwardly at the fixed features of her well framed face.
"Lucy could prevented all this long ago when the abuse had started. She most likely hid the truth because she had just lost her mother and didn't want to lose her father. But her self-sacrifice was a foolish and senseless mistake."
"Now wait a minu-"
She cut him off with an iron tight gaze. Natsu immediately hushed and decided it was better that he didn't say anything.
"Had she really cared and trusted us, she would have told us to prevent this type of suffering." The pink haired boy's eyes went wide. "Lucy had to know that something of this sort could have happened, yet she foolishly hoped that it wouldn't and didn't think of any of the consequences of her decisions. She didn't think about our feelings. She was being selfish. She was only thinking for herself."
He glared at Erza, hearing enough. "Lucy is not selfish! She was only thinking of us! It wasn't right for her to hide this from us, but that doesn't make her selfish!"
"Natsu. Your love for Lucy has made you blind." Natsu growled at Erza's comment. "Lucy's actions were noble, but she was selfish. She didn't think about our feelings or our emotions. She didn't think of how worrisome or taxing or emotionally exhausting it would be for us to sit here and wait for her to possibly never wake up."
His eyes went wide.
"She didn't think about how we would feel seeing her connected to tubes and wires and watching as a machine breathed for her. She didn't think about the repercussions of her decisions. She didn't think about our feelings for a split second."
The injured boy looked down at his hands. As much as he hated to admit it, Erza was absoutely right. She didn't think about their feelings at all. Lucy didn't know how hard it was for him to see her so broken. The blonde had no idea of the nightmares he suffered or how he woke up in the middle of the night screaming Lucy's name. She had no idea how scared he was that night. She had no idea of anything.
"And you." He cringed, waiting for the lecture from Erza.
"I have known you for almost the entirety of my life, Natsu." She paused. "And in all those years, you have proven to be the most reliable. You constantly proved over and over that no matter the cost, you would never let a friend down. That you would never let anything happen to your nakama for as long as you lived."
"But this was not one of those times, Natsu."
He felt a tight knot form at his throat. Erza didn't sound mad, or upset, nor enraged.
"I've always believed that you were a lot more intelligent than you showed. I always believed that when i came to distinguished right from wrong, you would know. I always believed in you to make the correct choices in life."
It was the same hollow feeling that was left after his guardian had left him.
"But you let your emotions and feelings cloud you. Instead of making the correct choice, you let your feelings guide you in the wrong direction. And therefore, you made a dire mistake that has crippled you and left Lucy, our nakama, our family, essentially dead."
She was disappointed in him.
She was far more disappointed in him than anyone had ever been in his life.
And that crushed him.
Natsu heard her get up and head for the door. He looked down at his hands which felt incredibly heavy. He felt like he carrying the blood of his blonde haired best friend. He felt like he was the one on the other side of the gun, who pulled the trigger.
"I know you never meant for any of this to happen, Natsu. I know you tried to protect her. I know that you wished you could do more. i know, Natsu." She stilled and remained silent for a moment. "I know you're suffering. I know you're not only in physical pain, but you're also wounded emotionally. I know what Gajeel, Levy, and I have said scarred you."
Natsu continued looking down at his hands, the guilt of his mistakes eating him alive.
"I still care for you, Natsu. You are my family and I am happy to see you safe and alive."
With that, Erza disappeared. The door was shut behind her.
He was alone now.
And the room was silent.
He had never felt so alone in his life.
He was constantly surrounded by people. His friends. His teachers. Lucy. And now, he felt as if all that had been ripped away from him
And the silence never seemed so loud.
He could hear the screams and shouting. He could hear the gun shots ringing in his ears. He could hear the sickening laugh of the vile older man.
It was all his fault. It was all his fault.
He should have been the one in the coma. He should have been the one hanging in life or death. He should have been the one.
It should have been him.
It was all his fault.
A/N: I a a terrible, terrible person. I have lied not only twice, but three times to you all. This part was a lot onger than I had anticipated and there was no way that this part and the ending I had planned we're going to be a reasonable sized chapter. It was just going to be too much. I don't like to overwhelm my readers with so much in one chapter and I know how tiring and annoying it can be. So I have split this chapter up.
I'm SO SO SORRY. I know you guys we're expecting an ending (which I was too) and I have disappointed. I think I'm just going to stop saying that the next chapter is the last because it never ends up being. *sigh* I truly am sorry if I got your hopes up about this ending. That was never my intention.
Anyway, this chapter was probably the hardest one I've had to write. There was just so much angst and so much emotion that it really was emotionally taxing on me. Not to mention how many times I have written a certain part of the chapter because it didn't seem right. Not to mention, it was really difficult to write an angsty Natsu, Makarov, and Erza. I don't think I got Makarov quite right and I think I may have made Natsu too emotional and Erza, I jus don't know. I'm feeling insecure about them right now.
Brownies and cookies to those who have caught onto the manga refernces in this story. For the first person to name each line I've used from the manga, I will do a special request for you. Maybe that will make up for incompetence!
Other than your rage and anger, I would like to know how this chapter came out. Is there anything I should go back and fix? Any particular scene that touched you? Anything you liked or didn't like? Please let me know! Reviews and cristiscm are encouraged!
Until next time!
-Dark Waffle