Reading guide for this chapter:
"Talk."
"Emphasis."
The entrance ceremony was not only uneventful, but also depressing. They had lost half of the cadet hopefuls, and most, if not all of them, would be dead by the end of next year.
She landed on her bed and put her arm across her eyes, shutting them from the light immediately. She knew that they weren't going to send children to reclaim Wall Maria, but what was the definition of a child? A seven-year-old? A fifteen-year-old? A ten-year-old? What exactly was the cutoff age? If either of those three were ordered to go, she would go crazy.
"Is the bunk below yours taken?"
Sakura removed her arm from her face and sat up to get a better view of the person addressing her. She looked very young, and she was very short, perhaps shorter than Sakura, which was quite the feat by itself. However, she knew better than to judge her based on looks alone; this girl had survived the laps of death, after all.
"No, not at all. Take it."
She smiled, her amber eyes crinkling. "Thank you, Sakura!"
Sakura cocked her head to the side, surprised. "You know me?"
The girl snorted, as if the question amused her. "Who doesn't know you? Not only did you carry a girl that looked twice your weight, you finished first. Besides, the hair doesn't help."
Sakura smiled sheepishly and ran a hand through her long pink locks. "Heh, true, true. But it's a bit unfair how you know mine and I don't know yours. We're gonna be bunk mates, after all."
The girl put her suitcase on her bed and beckoned her to come down. The nineteen-year-old did so quickly, foregoing the ladder and jumping down straight ahead. This action seemed to amuse her new bunk mate, because she started giggling uncontrollably.
"Is something wrong?"
She waved a hand up and down. "No, no, nothing. It's just that people say that you're this cold and serious person who doesn't want to meet people and it's just funny that you did that right now."
Sakura frowned and pouted, not appreciating how the rumors painted her as such an unapproachable person. She smiled often, right? Or was it maybe how intimidating she had been in the test? She should've known it was going to bite her in the ass. "I don't know where that rumor came from, honestly."
The girl extended a hand towards her. "Petra Ral from Honig, in the middle of Rose."
She took her hand and shook it firmly. "Sakura Ackerman from Shiganshina, south of Maria."
Petra immediately retracted her hand from hers, and looked at her in a mixture of shock and apprehension. "Where you there when..." she trailed off, unsure on how to continue her question, or too scared to offend her, Sakura wasn't too sure.
She appreciated the gesture, nevertheless. "Yeah. I was there."
"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked. My parents were from Shiganshina too, but they moved to the north before I was born. I heard many of their friends died that day."
"We were unprepared," she told her quietly. She remembered her inability to save Kalura, her helplessness as the Armored Titan broke through Wall Maria, her failed promise to protect her wards. "No one saw it coming."
"You saw the titans then? How... Are they as scary as everyone says?"
She sighed and sat down on the floor between their beds and the other two bunk beds in the other side of the room. She wondered where their other two roommates were, but then she remembered that she had finished her dinner earlier than anyone else and had quickly retired, meaning that they must be still eating. "They are scary, but what they do is scarier. Especially because they're so big, you can only feel like an insect in comparison."
"That was my main reason for not wanting to join the military. I can't bear the thought of meeting them..."
"Then why are you here, if you don't mind my asking?" She didn't phrase her question rudely; she was genuinely curious as to why the girl had joined the military if she was so scared of titans. From what Sakura could tell, she wasn't in any danger of being chosen to go retake Wall Maria because she was a citizen of Wall Rose. If anything, she should be avoiding this place at all costs.
"My dad wants me to join the Military Police and get as far away from Wall Rose as possible. They're scared one of those two special titans might appear any time soon and take us by surprise again."
Sakura nodded slowly, a thoughtful look in her face. "That makes sense. I don't blame your dad for thinking like that. I'm not entirely sure about all of this either."
"What about you, Sakura? What do you want to do after all of this?"
She shrugged. She still wasn't sure about what she was going to end up doing. Deep down she knew chances were she had to join the Survey Corps, but she still held on to the hope that she would be able to convince Eren to join the Military Police and live a peaceful life inside Wall Sina. Who knows, maybe he would marry Mikasa there (or not, if they didn't like each other that way when they were older, she was okay either way), and she would marry some civilian who could give her a taste of a normal, stress-free life and make her forget about Shiganshina.
"I'm not very sure right now. It could honestly go either way."
Petra cocked her head to the side, her gaze confused. "You don't want to join the Military Police."
"Still not sure what I want to do. There are many variables involved."
The girl's mouth opened slightly and she close it soon afterwards, nodding in understanding that she didn't feel like discussing the topic at hand. "Hm, I wonder where our roommates are."
Sakura snorted. "Maybe I scared them away?"
The girl laughed and her honey eyes crinkled in amusement. "That would be awesome! Imagine having a whole room to ourselves! No need to worry about––"
A knock interrupted their door and one of their trainers whose name escaped Sakura stood at the door rigidly. Both girls jumped and stood at full attention, their right hand over their heart and their left behind their backs.
"Due to a lack of girls, you two have been assigned a room to yourselves! Remember that there is training in the morning!"
"Sir, yessir!" they replied in unison.
The commanding officer's glare softened a bit and he closed the door behind them, leaving them a mess of giggles as soon as they were sure he was far away. "We should say stuff like that more often!" Petra said between gasps.
Sakura nodded along, unable to form a reply. Soon after their sniggers died they both agreed they were exhausted and quickly went to bed. Even though the other two beds were free, Petra still took the one below hers.
She faced the other two bunk beds as Petra's soft snores filled the room and couldn't help but think that Bertha could be sleeping with them in this room right now.
You had chakra, of course you beat the stamina test. You could have been me, and I could have been you, if you didn't have your precious chakra. And now here I am, facing titans. And now here I am, about to die, without anyone crying for me.
It was customary that the cadets were tested on their balance the first day after the ceremony. Not only did it give the trainees a feel of what they were going to use for most of their military careers, it served as a way for the officers to quickly judge where in the gifted spectrum the cadets were.
Their instructor was a harsh man by the name of Emil Ernst. His hair was silvery and his face was filled with wrinkles, but his eyes held such wisdom and experience that there was no single trainee who dared to cross him. Rumor was it he had killed over one hundred titans in his career in the Survey Corps before joining the Military Police and even quickly rose through the ranks there.
There were five 3DMG testing sites set up so that five cadets could go at the same time. Though this made the process slow, since there were three hundred people to go through, it did give everyone a clear view of what was expected of them and what they were supposed to do.
Sakura admired Petra's form. Though she had made her hesitance to encounter titans very clear, she was masterful in keeping her balance and people were already murmuring that she had a very real shot at being the valedictorian. Though it slightly irritated her that people were making such a long-term judgement based on a simple task, she had to admit that Petra's form was by far the best.
"Ackerman!"
She sighed under her breath and made her way to the testing site Emil was pointing at. She could see that suddenly all the stares were on her, but she didn't care about that. What she cared was about the officer currently strapping the 3DGM around her waist, making sure he didn't screw up anywhere. She knew her inhuman reflexes would kick in if something went wrong, but she didn't want to raise unnecessary questions right now; her pink hair was novelty enough.
They hoisted her up and she felt a tiny bit of panic at not being able to touch the ground but she quickly got used to the feeling of being in the air. To be honest, she felt a certain degree of freedom in being up in the air. Usually she required to actively use chakra to perform something extraordinary, but here she was, "levitating" without using her power once. For once, she felt as she was achieving something based on her own merits.
Now that she was used to the feeling, she relaxed her somewhat stiff body slowly, allowing her to shift as she went adapted to the shift of the wires. Soon her body was so relaxed that she was swinging lightly along with the wires, completely at ease with the feeling by now. People were starting to murmur in the crowd, pointing fingers at her and making her feel uncomfortable.
"Okay, that's enough. Bring her down!"
Sakura felt slightly disappointed that her moment of freedom was over so quickly, but she quickly squashed it by reminding herself that she would be using the 3DGM for quite a long time.
Even though Emil didn't tell her anything, her perceptive eyes could see the surprise and slight awe that he had for her performance. That was enough to make her feel proud of herself, because for once in her life people were amazed by something she had done herself. She did not have to rely on her muscle memory or her chakra to do this, this was all her and her gift for learning quickly.
Petra tackled her arm and shook her slightly. "That was amazing! How did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"That. You just stood there like if nothing was happening. It looked as if you could walk on air!"
She didn't know how to react. If she brushed off her comment and said it was nothing, she would come off as arrogant and maybe upset her rapidly-becoming friend. However, if she went and lied about how hard it was, she might come off as arrogant as well for overplaying her feats. So, either way, it was a lose-lose for her. "I guess I just felt relaxed up there. Tall, you know, something that we're not."
That seemed to be the right answer, because she giggled. "I'll follow your advice next time. Could you give me some pointers later on, though?"
Sakura smiled. "Sure, Petra. Just tell me when and I'll be there."
It was the first time the 102nd Trainee Corps Class saw her excited, but right now they couldn't care less. It was hard listening to a lecture trying to persuade them that something useless they were about to do was actually useful. They were hypocrites, really, trying to convince them to practice hand-to-hand combat when it wasn't graded that highly anyway.
"You're too excited about this," Petra commented with a sulky voice.
Sakura gaped at her, horrified about her lack of excitement. "Are you kidding me? This is awesome!"
"I take it you have some experience in this."
"My specialty, if I can call it that."
"You have many specialties, do you know that?"
"So I've been told, but so do you."
"I guess we're women of many talents, aren't we?"
"Rawr."
"Ackerman! Ral! If you're done with your girly chat we would like to get on with this lesson!"
The two girls froze up and looked down to the floor, their cheeks heating up instantly when they heard the barely contained snickers around them. Ugh, red cheeks clashed horribly with her hair.
"Ackerman! Bozado! You're fighting here!"
She made her way to where Emil had pointed, her cheeks still a bit red from embarrassment. Standing there was a man with unruly dirty blond hair a couple of inches taller than her. His small hazel eyes were cocky and he seemed to have a perpetual smirk. "So I got paired up with Pinky, huh?"
Sakura's eyes twitched in annoyance. She vaguely recalled the cat she saved, Blacky, and suddenly felt guilty for not stealing him and renaming him. "Don't you have better things to do than antagonize girls, you old man?"
Bozado tried to play it off cool, but she noticed his hands clenching and unclenching, a clear sign of irritation. "Hey, I'll have you know I just turned seventeen, so I don't know what you're talking about, Pinky."
Her nose wrinkled in disgust. If this kid was two years younger than her, just exactly how old did she look? She grew slightly panicked until she remembered a conversation she and Petra had earlier about their appearances, how Sakura just adored her honey hair and Petra commented that her ivory skin looked youthful enough to make her think she was fifteen.
"Start!"
Bozado got into a sloppy fighting stance meanwhile Sakura just stood there, relaxing her muscles. After countless of practices she had learned that her body was best-suited to retaliate, not start. This gave her a chance to see her opponent's first movement and devise a strategy to quickly incapacitate with the minimum amount of effort and time required.
"Ladies first," he said with an arrogant bow.
"Go ahead then," she replied without missing a beat.
That seemed to get him, because now not only did his fists clench, but his eyes narrowed even more. "I'm being nice here. Hit me."
"I've made it a habit to let my opponents hit me first. It would be too unfair otherwise."
His forehead twitched and his lip curled. "Why you!" He launched himself at her with a bit too much force, but she had already seen his punch coming a mile away. She sidestepped and put her foot where she was, immediately tripping him. She quickly got away from him and took his old spot, standing there innocently and looking away.
He scrambled up and glared daggers at her. "That was unfair!"
"That's why I let you go first."
Bozado growled and charged at her with the intention of putting her in a choke hold and possible doing a body throw. Even though he had been acting cocky beforehand, Sakura knew that he had a very good reason, because he knew what he was doing. Sure, his form was somewhat sloppy, but he had obviously had training in hand-to-hand combat, something most of the recruits couldn't boast about.
She crouched, avoiding his choke hold, and swept her leg at him, hoping to throw him again. Much to her surprise, he jumped high enough to avoid the attack and as soon as he landed he aimed a low kick at her abdomen. She knew avoiding this one would be hard because she was crouching, but she bent her back enough to avoid the kick narrowly and used the power of her arms to quickly lift her body backwards to do a handstand and let herself fall gracefully enough to land lightly on her feet.
He just stared at her in shock but shook his head, snapping out of his reverie. He aimed a punch at her shoulder but she stopped him with a swift kick to his inner arm. He cried out in pain, and she used his distraction as an advantage to move next to him, wrap one arm around his waist and the other one behind his head, and she brought them both down to slam him to the floor as if he were some little kid.
The impact probably ripped the skin from her knuckles, but that was fine, since the point of the spar was to not kill her partner. His head was moving from side to side, probably dazed. She had gone a little bit overboard, because her left shoulder hurt like a bitch and that wasn't supposed to happen. She retrieved her hand from the back of his head and stood up, yet again ignoring the blatant stares from her fellow cadets.
He was probably still seeing stars, but she saw his eyes focus on her, and from the frown on his face he must not be very happy with her. She extended her left hand first to help him up, but upon seeing the blood dripping down from her knuckles, she quickly changed it, smiling sheepishly down at him. Seeing that she was not unscathed probably did wonders to his mood, because he took her hand and hoisted himself up.
"Not bad, Ackerman."
"Sakura."
"I knew that."
"All right, Bozado."
"Oluo."
"I knew that."
The training field was empty except for a tiny pink-haired girl doing push ups, her light breathing betraying the number of sets she had already done. The sky was darkening quickly, which meant curfew would soon be called and she might miss dinner, but she couldn't care less. She was working, training her physical strength to her body's limits. Today she had seen Petra carry a grown man by herself with little to no effort. Sure, she could carry three times her own size easily, but that was with the help of chakra.
She wasn't very sure where the limits of her body stopped.
It surprised her, how agile and powerful the cadets were. They threw themselves down cliffs to see how easily they could turn and shoot the grappling hook to stop their descent, they ran for miles with heavy backpacks, they cut down trees with just their steel blade and muscle... The cadets did all of that without chakra. They were amazing in that aspect, and they were just first years. No one had hailed a single one of them a genius...
Well, no one until now, but there were whispers of a certain pink-haired prodigy who outranked all of them because of a tiny insignificant thing called chakra.
Her peers and superiors admired Sakura, but they didn't admire her, but rather her chakra, and they weren't even aware of that. To them, Sakura was simply a hidden gem in a field of coal. If she had been normal, she would've been even worse than coal; at least coal could be turned into a diamond. If she had been normal, maybe Bertha would be here in her stead.
Everyone wanted to be like Sakura, but she wasn't even like them to begin with. They were comparing themselves to a farce.
Her arms shook and she collapsed on the floor, her chest receiving the brutal end of the fall. She groaned and turned her body around so that she was laying down with her back against the ground.
The sun was almost set, and the stars were starting to appear in the purple sky. Even though the darkness covered most of the field, if enhanced her eyesight she could see almost as clearly as if it were daylight. As much as she wanted to hate what made her different than the rest of the people she would fight with, she couldn't help but admit it was extremely useful.
She heard footsteps approach her and she wasn't at all surprised when a woman stopped just before hitting her head. Her skin was darker than most, and her eyes were two large black jewels that glittered with amusement and something else. From her vantage point she looked taller than her, but then again that wasn't hard considering Sakura was one of the shortest recruits.
"You will miss dinner if you continue like that."
The woman extended a hand towards her and Sakura warily took it. She had never seen her before, which was a bit weird, since her looks were quite exotic and she almost never missed anyone like that. Then again, if Sakura was bad with names, she was horrible with faces.
"Thanks," she murmured, still a bit out of her element. "I know this will sound rude, but who are you?"
She laughed, the sound harsh and throaty. "It is quite alright, Sakura Ackerman. I don't expect you to know everyone in our class, especially when most people avoid you like a plague."
The pink-haired girl blinked. She was actively avoided? "What? Why?"
She raised a thick black eyebrow, as if the question should already have an answer. "Your determination intimidates most people. Not many can do five sets of fifty push-ups in less than an hour."
"You've been watching me?"
"Perhaps I admire determination more than I fear it."
"You never told me your name."
Her lips curved into a smirk. Everything about her was exotic, and Sakura could feel herself attracted to the mysterious aura she exuded. "Amina Talman, at your service. I am your new roommate."
Sakura's body stiffened. She hadn't expected that, hadn't thought that they would separate her and Petra. "What about Petra?"
"Oh, she's still in your room, of course. It's just that my three roommates were shipped off to the landfills ––a much better fate than those who failed the entrance exam, if you ask me. So instead of leaving me alone they decided to pair me with the room occupied by our class's two geniuses."
"And you're not intimidated at all?"
"Like I said, there is beauty in determination. I want to become stronger, and you two can help me with that."
Sakura crossed her arms, suddenly wary about Amina's reasons for seeking her assistance. "And you want me and Petra to help you?"
"I thought that was obvious, but yeah, I do. If our instructors decided to rank us tomorrow, I would probably be in the last ten."
The military ranked the Trainee Corps at the end of every year to measure their success and point out where things could be improved. This also happened along the same dates the graduating class chose their branch. The 100th Trainee Corps Class was going to graduate in six months, which meant they still had half a year to go before the rankings.
"Unless you want to join the Military Police, I don't see why that matters too much."
"I want to join the Military Police. It is the only reason why I came here."
Now it was her turn to be incredulous and raise an eyebrow. "Well, it's a good thing that you sought us in the first year. I don't think we would've been able to do much later on. Have you asked Petra if this is alright with her?"
"She said it was fine. I just needed to confirm with you."
Sakura's eyes narrowed and she pouted. "Well, at least I don't have to deal with that old man so much anymore if I'm going to train you."
"I asked Oluo Bozado for help too and he gladly took me in as well."
"You're not very good with negotiations are you? You should've kept that a secret."
"He's one of your two only friends. I might even venture and say he's one of your best friends."
It was very hard for her to keep the horrified expression from her face. "Oh dear, no. Hell no. If anything we're rivals."
"So are you going to help me or what?"
Sakura may have been nice, apparently contrary to popular belief, but even she knew she was being played like a fool by this woman, which was quite weird considering it was she who was asking for help, not the other way around. "What do you have for me?"
Amina smirked, as if she had suddenly reeled in the bait. "For starters, a better image. You have no idea how useful it will be once you're in the Military Police to have an approachable image."
Ah, nothing felt nicer than having the upper hand. "You assume I want to join the Military Police. That was your first mistake."
"Who wouldn't? It was a logical assumption," she replied a bit defensively. Though Sakura was quickly growing to dislike Amina, she couldn't tell her to go away, be it because of the banter or the fact she was the first person to approach her willingly in almost four months. Even a girl like her could grow lonely. "I'll be honest, I didn't think you would give me such a hard time with this, especially because your friends already agreed with me."
Sakura sighed and gazed past her to their cabin which acted as a mess hall, where people were already filing out to their dorms. So much for dinner. "I was going to help you, no questions asked, but then you overplayed your hand and thought I had to be manipulated. I don't like being manipulated, and I don't like being used. I guess that was your mistake."
Much to her surprise, Amina looked thoroughly chastised and ashamed. "Perhaps there was some wisdom in my father's words. You are right, and for that I ask for your forgiveness."
"Good, you have it. We start tomorrow at dawn, alright?"
Her dark eyes widened, surprised at the sudden change in her disposition. She smiled tentatively and nodded shyly, a sharp contrast from the sly girl that had approached her not even ten minutes ago. Her eyes lit with something and she reached into a pouch she carried in her back and took out a piece of bread and bottle of water. "Oh, here you go. I forgot I brought these for you."
Sakura took them from her greedily and started munching them, uncaring if she had bread crumbs around her lips and if she drank like a mule. "Say, if you wanted to have the upper hand, you should've just bribed me with food."
"I'll keep that in mind next time I want something," she noted with a giggle.
Just as Amina had predicted, Sakura had become much more approachable after she decided to tutor her. She was no longer regarded with fear, but rather respect, and this improved her mood greatly. Her pupil, though lacking in the physique department, was very eager, waking up before sunrise to run laps and working on her stamina until dusk. She, Oluo, and Petra usually took turns training Amina, because waking up extra early and going to bed just before curfew was extremely taxing on the body and mind, especially with the normal cadet training they went through.
Sakura had also started depending less on her chakra. In the next six months of training, she gained around fifteen pounds of pure muscle, and though it wasn't very outwardly obvious, Sakura could feel the effects whenever she picked or pushed something without the help of chakra. She was naturally strong, yes, but this was something new, something that was hers and hers alone.
That's not to say she neglected her chakra training, because she didn't. As much as she felt uncomfortable having something that naturally made her better than everyone else, her chakra was a part of her and she needed to nurture it, especially since she needed it to protect Mikasa, Eren, or Armin. Her knowledge of chakra was limited –– very limited–– because for now she only knew one ninjutsu and that was all she could practice when she was positive she was alone. There were two parts to chakra: the physical and spiritual one. She honed the physical part every day, which made her naturally stronger, but the spiritual part was rather lacking since both her experiences and studies of jutsu were forgotten or gone for good.
The only remedy she figured out was meditation. It wasn't the best, because she was still walking in the dark when it came to meditation, but she felt good after clearing her mind for sometimes even an hour. After a couple of weeks of meditation she noticed that moulding her chakra to enhance some parts of her senses and physique had become simpler and more natural, which encouraged her meditation bouts.
"Hey, Pinky, are you gonna sit there with that stupid look on your face or go to class?"
The level of clear-headedness and peace that had taken her twenty minutes to achieve came crashing down immediately. She opened one green eye to glare icily at Oluo, who was gazing down at her with an annoying smirk.
"Thank you for interrupting my meditation period!"
"You're welcome. Now are you gonna go or do I have to leave you? We're learning about titan killing today."
"Do you have any idea how long it takes me to clear my thoughts?"
"It didn't look like you were very peaceful there, with that frown and all. If anything, I would say you were brooding."
Sakura pouted, peevish that she had been found out. She extended an arm towards Oluo and ordered him to help her up with a single look. He raised his eyebrows, amused at her expression, but hoisted her up without a word. She dusted the dirt from her uniform and he started walking away to where their classes were, leaving Sakura to catch up with him.
"You know, just because you're the best in this class doesn't mean you can't go around skipping class," he commented offhandedly once she was sauntering next to him.
"I wasn't skipping, I was mediating. Big difference. Besides, since you found me, that means I didn't miss class."
Oluo snorted. "Yeah, today, but you're conveniently forgetting all those tardies. Where would you be without Petra and me?"
She grunted but offered no response, because there was nothing she could say to dispute the claim. She was absentminded nowadays, either thinking about her three wards or keeping her nasty nightmares at bay. Her ivory skin was paler than usual, and black bags had recently taken residence under her eyes. She wasn't sure if Petra or Oluo had noticed, but if they had, she was grateful they hadn't asked, because she didn't know how to explain.
They arrived at the class just before their instructor closed the door. Usually, they had another teacher who taught them the history of the three Military Branches and their codes and regulations, but since today they were going tot talk about titan-killing, Emil Ernst had taken over the stage today.
If there was something the cadets hated more than hand-to-hand combat, it was definitely lectures. They had come here to fight for a chance to live within Wall Sina, and some were even here to fight for humanity, but no one was here to learn about the history of the 3DGM unless it had something to do with learning how to handle the 3DGM, which was a big, fat no most of the times.
Still, everyone was alert and paying attention for today. This lesson was both important and useful.
"All right, who can tell me how to kill a titan?"
The simple word titan made her involuntarily shiver. She still remembered the utter terror she felt not under its gaze, but because of its chakra. The familiarity was so wrong but there at the same time that she had been confused and rendered immobile with just being in their presence.
Sakura thought people's hands were going to shoot up in the air, but surprisingly nobody dared to. It wasn't because they were scared of Emil, though most of the times they were, but everyone looked genuinely confused, as if they hadn't thought about it beforehand.
She remembered the smiling titan, the one that had killed Kalura almost half a year ago. She had punched it in its face and set its head flying a couple of meters. That titan was certainly dead, right? After all, how could a headless titan eat?
"Yes, it was a question many people had when those bastards first appeared. Nothing worked. Not even cutting their fucking heads off."
Nobody, except Petra and Oluo, noticed the pink-haired student stiffen violently. Petra became concerned once her green eyes gained a horrified and enraged edge.
Sakura barely listened to the rest of the lesson. She learned that titans were dependent on the sun and they could only be killed by cutting a special place in their nape, but that was it. So that shit was still alive, eating more humans? She still hadn't avenged Kalura's death? Sakura had been convinced that the smiling fucker was gone for good, but obviously that was not true.
"Sakura," Petra whispered worryingly. "Are you okay?"
She visibly snapped out of her stupor and managed a weak smile towards Petra. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."
You had chakra, and you still couldn't save me. You were standing right there, watching, but you didn't do anything. What, too scared to let other people know who you are? Too afraid that we would fear you, condemn you? Well, congratulations, because now I'm dead but at least you got to keep your secret a bit longer, right?
And to add insult to the injury, you couldn't even kill the titan! If my Eren were to die at its hands...
The Trainee Corps had three different centers, all located between Wall Sina and Wall Rose now. One of them was near a wide plane, the other by a lake, and the last one by a big mountain. The current 100th Trainee Corps class was in the wide plane, which meant that the 103rd Trainee class would be assigned to the wide plane training area, the most coveted one out of all three.
The least wanted area would be the one near the mountains, which was the 102nd Trainee Class's home. Their instructors would make them run up and down the mountain every Sunday. Though they had been doing this for nearly eight months, it still made everyone detest Sundays, even if they had the rest of the day off to do as they pleased.
Sakura's calves and thighs were burning, but she carried on. Amina was jogging next to her, panting and shivering from the brutal cold, but she refused to be anywhere but next to her. Petra and Oluo, on the other hand, were bickering ahead, something about cheating in an artillery test. It made her wonder why people considered Oluo to be their friend when they were only constantly fighting.
A pair of long pink strands stuck in her sweaty face and she pulled them back with an annoyed grunt, only to have them hit against her cheeks with each step she took. "That's it. I'm cutting my hair."
Amina replied with a skeptical voice, "You're cutting your hair? You?"
Sakura turned and glared at her slightly. "What?" she barked. "You doubt me?"
Her demeanor scared a few people around her and they either sped up or slowed down. Amina, on the other hand, was quite nonchalant about it. "It's just hard to believe. I wouldn't be surprised if you had a shrine dedicated to your hair hidden somewhere in our room."
"I don't worship my hair. I just like it."
"You adore your hair, and you're thinking about cutting it."
"It's annoying and it has gotten too long. For giving me second thoughts you're gonna help me out now."
Amina tsked and glared at her slightly. "Ha! As if. You would cut me into tiny pieces if I so much as cut an extra centimeter."
"Well, more of a reason to be cautious, right?"
The rest of their jog was silent, which was good because they were going through the most beautiful part of the mountain, especially now that it was the beginning of summer and the trees looked healthy. Running in the mountain had been torturous, especially when there had been a snowstorm the day before.
Their mess hall cabin had never felt so delicious before. Sakura sat down with Petra, Amina, Oluo, and Oluo's black-haired roommate Jett Kaiser, as usual, and they chowed down their lunch without a word. Now that she thought about it, nobody was talking, probably too tired and hungry to even make an attempt at a conversation.
"Hey, Jett, want to practice after this?" Petra asked hopefully, breaking the comfortable silence. She was so intent on gauging Jett's expression that she missed how Oluo's eyes narrowed menacingly at his food.
He raised a dark eyebrow, as if asking are you kidding me? "Where do you get all this energy from, Petra? We just finished running up and down a damn mountain."
"There's always time for practice, especially with rankings coming up in a month."
The subject aggravated most of the people in the surrounding tables, because nobody was looking forward to their exams. Sure, low-marks did not mean that they would be shipped off, but if an instructor decided that they weren't fit to continue then they were going to be seeing a landfill for the rest of their lives. And of course the ones sitting on the table, with the exception of Amina, were the least worried about the test considering their talent.
"Sakura is getting a haircut. Don't you want to help out?" Amina asked, hoping to divert Petra from the topic.
The brown-haired girl ––who now looked older than her so she should really stop referring to her as a girl–– grabbed her by the shoulders and started pushing and pulling her. "You're cutting your hair?" she exclaimed. Luckily most of the mess hall were now holding various conversations, which meant that the comment had not been as loud as Sakura heard it.
"Yeah," she replied with a twitch.
"Ooh, I want to help! Sorry, Jett, maybe another time!"
"I didn't even agree in the first place..."
The minute Sakura finished her soup Petra grabbed her by the arm and started pulling her away. She called Amina to help her out, and both Sakura and her knew better than to protest their mother-hen friend. She borrowed a pair of scissors from the room next to them and boasted about her hair cutting techniques because her grandfather had been one of the best barbers in Honig.
"Oh, I'll leave your hair absolutely wonderful! But first, we'll take a bath and then come back."
What Sakura thought would be a horrible afternoon soon became one filled with laughter and jokes. Petra told a story on how one time she spilled cranberry juice on her skirt and had to hide it from everyone or else they would've thought it was period blood. Amina then related how she had cried to her mother for an hour because of her period because she thought she was pregnant and she wanted a little sister, not a daughter.
So much talk about menstruation led her thoughts back to Mikasa. She would be eleven now, a normal age for a girl to get her period. Sakura imagined how scared and traumatized she would be, apparently bleeding from a place she wasn't supposed to be bleeding without a single explanation. Every girl received the talk about her monthly cycle. Sakura got it from Mikoto, but Mikasa had no female comfort.
Petra was halfway done with her cutting her hair and talking about an embarrassing crush she had when she was ten when a loud knock interrupted their talk. Amina, being the least occupied, stood up from their little circle and went to open the door, revealing a courier with a gentle, old face. He handed Amina a single letter, tipped his hat a little, and left without a word.
"This is for you," Amina said with a small frown, handing Sakura the letter with her name and address written in the front. The handwriting was eerily similar, but in the end unrecognizable.
Sakura unfolded the paper and a wide smile spread across her face when she realized it was Mikasa's handwriting.
"Who is it?"
"My sister," she breathed back.
"Oh... Um... Should we..."
"I could read it out loud, if you would like."
Both Amina and Petra gazed at her curiously. "You would do that?"
Sakura shrugged and her smile widened, as if that was possible. "I trust you both."
"Thank you... We would like to listen."
She cleared her throat and began, "Dear Sakura, we finally found someone who was able to take this letter to you. Eren, Armin, and I are stationed in the fields right now, growing crops. The work is hard, but they give us food and a place to sleep, which is more than most people get so for that we're grateful. Armin's grandfather along with most of the people were sent to retake Wall Maria just a month ago, and we know that you would've been there since anyone older than eighteen was ordered to go. It's also a good thing that you applied last year, because now the cutoff age for the military this summer is twenty, so you wouldn't have made it.
"I have been looking after Armin and Eren as much as I could, but it's hard. So thank you for looking after us. We miss you a lot, but we know this is necessary. Eren still says that we're going to see you next year because we're going to join the Trainee Corps, but I'm still not sure yet. I do know that I don't want to continue working in the farms.
"We don't know when this letter will reach you, but just in case, happy birthday. We promise to give you an extra big hug... next time we see you. Love, Mikasa, Eren, and Armin..."
The only sound in the room was the click of the scissors, because Sakura was definitely not crying.
Have you ever thought that most of the things that happened are your fault? They are. Helsa takes you in and is murdered. We take you in, and my parents are murdered. The Jaegers take you in, and look what has become of Eren. Look where we are now, working to death in a field. See the pattern? Good, because you're not the only one that notices things. You call yourself a iryo-nin, but how many lives have you saved? A kunoichi, yes? But how many lives have you taken to protect us?
We're next, and like always, you're going to be the one to survive.
Some kind of winner you are.
The italicized section were Sakura's nightmares, from the POV of three different characters: Bertha, Kalura, and Mikasa. In her nightmares they were speaking directly to her, but no, they never actually had these conversations. This is different from the italicized section in the first chapter because then it was centered, this one has the same outline as the rest of the chapter. There's a reason for that.
I had to go on a bit of a scavenger hunt for Oluo and Petra's beginnings. So far, the only thing I could find was that Oluo's age in the manga was 19 (yes, I know, very shocking) and that they weren't in the Survey Corps when the Colossal Titan broke down Wall Maria in 845. But since they were in the Special Operations Squad, that meant they had a bit of experience which is why I lumped them in the 102nd Trainee Class. Also I upped their ages a bit because why not.
This chapter was certainly more on the angsty side, but it also had its bright side, kinda like life, eh? Besides, it's really not SnK without a dose of angst and three drops of vengeance. Things don't get any brighter from here though. Also, for now I'll take a break from the SnK plot and develop characters and the setting bit more. Even when we hit the original plot, I still won't stick closely to it, because it's boring to just quote lines or scenes from the manga/anime.
My innumerable thanks to OnePiecefan202, Basia Orci, RefleR, slw923, LadyRidger, deedee2034, catxangel, Latin Gardenia, pepergirl001, Atsirk Enoh, DragFire, Arisu-kun, mun3litKnight, ,brokenmaelstrom, foraslanthelion, necrofantasia, bum reviews, animagirl, PinKrystal, Guest, and DarkKoi for taking some time out of their days and reviewing. Thank you to those who added this story to their alerts as well. And to answer your question, RefleR, because I want to and can. But don't worry, because though it will play a role in the future, that is not the main focus of this story, at all.
Reviews make me happy.
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