Kleenex hopefully required for this chapter.
Troy lay in bed lifelessly staring up at the ceiling of his dark bedroom, Chad's harsh words playing in his hesitant mind every few seconds. He tried so hard to replace them with possible ways to tell Gabriella what he had been feeling the last few months, but no matter what he came up with nothing seemed to be good enough.
He painfully glanced over at the clock that rested menacingly on his bedside table. Fear began to take over his fragile body once again as he realized that today was his final chance to tell Gabriella. If he was truthful, he didn't really know what to tell her or how to explain what was happening.
He was aware there were going to be tears and he wished that he could hold her in his arms and tell her everything was going to be ok. But he knew that he had lied to her enough.
There was no question he had to tell her today.
As his mind drifted to the future, he remembered all of the times that he and Gabriella joked about what they would call their children and where they would live. The future had never seemed so out of reach as it did that second; he began to become fearful of what might happen to Gabriella if he wasn't there to share that future with her.
--
Gabriella examined Troy's features; his dull and expressionless eyes completely fixed on the television; his usually tanned skin sickenly pale and deadly, his arms folded tightly across his chest.
Something had definitely been off in the last two days -- he was withdrawn from her and every time she delicately went to touch him her heart would wrench when he'd subconsciously flinch away.
Her mind was working hard to think of a way to get Troy to open up. Asking what was wrong hadn't worked, nor had trying to catch him off guard and forcing him to share his feelings. It was now time for drastic action.
She tentatively shuffled herself closer to him stopping every few seconds; so that the obviousness of her actions would not become clear, yet still allowing her to get close enough to carry out her plan.
Deciding that she was finally close enough, she moved her head forwards and gently pressed her lips to the sensitive spot that rested just below Troy's jaw line.
Troy began to breathe more deeply as he felt her supple lips make their slow decent down his jawbone before stopping at the base of his chin. He looked down nervously at her and she smiling lovingly up at him from her new position on the floor between his legs.
"You've been so tense the last few days." Her voice slightly husky as she allowed passion surround her completely. Troy looked deep into Gabriella's eyes. He knew that this was never going to end well but whenever she touched him he couldn't help but crave more.
All he could do was nod solemnly as Gabriella began to move her hands slowly up his legs - massaging his skin and placing delicate kisses along the path of her playful fingers. As she reach the hem of his basketball shorts, she moved her hands underneath tracing smooth lines with her fingertips.
Nervousness began travel erratically around Troy's body as Gabriella's mischievous hands moved closer to his length, sweat began to run off his forehead knowing that as soon as she reached his most sensitive area all of the pleasure he was feeling would come to an abrupt stop.
A sensual smile appeared on Gabriella's face as she got up and sat herself down in Troy's warm lap, slowly leaning forward and placing a tantalizing kiss on his lips. Her hands moved down his sides with the same massaging action she had previously applied to his legs. Her right hand pushed its way through the waistband of his basketball shorts and rubbed his lower abdomen before moving underneath his boxers.
Suddenly Gabriella froze.
The expression on her face became icy and cold as her hand quickly snapped from underneath his shorts. So many fearful thoughts were running wildly through her mind and she could barely understand what each one meant.
Her mind was haphazardly spinning out of control--a million fears racing through her at a great rate of knots. Her heart was pounding; her arms and legs shaking...every fear she had no idea consumed her conscience surfaced and paralyzed her.
"What's going on?"
Troy looked down at the floor timidly, desperate to escape Gabriella's frightening stare. He shrugged his shoulders pathetically as sweat began to drip teasingly down the back of his neck.
Silence filled the house once again, the air quickly became thick making it hard for Gabriella to take in her angry breaths. Her stare hardened once again as Troy's silence finally became too much to bear.
"You've been acting so weird." She took a breath, as she fearfully got up from his lap "Please don't treat me like I'm stupid. If you've got something you want to tell me, please just say it" Gabriella took a pace back, allowing herself to pace slightly and turn away from him.
Feeling a small bout of courage build up inside of him to reveal everything to his pleading girlfriend, Troy recoiled back in shock as she turned back to face him looking angrier and more hurt than ever.
She just looked longingly at him, as if trying to find the answers in his broken features. His eyes avoided her, his head hung low in embarrassment and rejection. Everything about him that she knew, cherished and loved became a distant and beautiful memory as she choked back a sob and suddenly didn't recognize the being sitting dejectedly in front of her.
She didn't want to comprehend it, but she knew it.
"You don't want me anymore" Her tone was hard, final and gut wrenching to hear. Sharp tears raked down her porcelain as her fear and anger once again consumed her whole body. She took deep and agonizing breaths, hoping that controlling her tears would make him blind to her hurt and pain and reveal her strengthening barrier.
Troy choked on the air around him as Gabriella's words sunk into his mind. He knew what he had heard but he so desperately didn't want to believe that that was the way she was thinking. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find the words to reassure her that he had never needed her more than he did now.
Gabriella let out another strangled sob as she watched Troy hesitate.
That was all her mind needed.
She knew there was really something devastating to her that he was hiding and suddenly she wasn't sure whether she wanted to know.
She realized she would never be able to release her anguish without knowing the truth.
"It's so obvious now that you're keeping something to me. I didn't think we had secrets" Gabriella's voice calmed down to an almost soft tone but yet sarcastic tone the tears poured down her cheeks more than before.
"Did I do something wrong? Something to upset you? There's someone else isn't there? Please don't try and deny it." The hysteria and despair was building in her voice again as she sat down in a chair and rested her head in her hands.
"No, baby. No, you've got it all wrong. I promise you." Troy looked at the girl shattered sitting in the chair--just wishing he could run across the room and hold her tightly in his arms and promise everything was ok again. He watched her get up, her eyes remaining closed but he could see the heartbreak leaking out underneath her closed eyelids.
Eventually she opened her eyes and scrunched up her fists with anger.
"Jerk! I can't believe that you don't have the guts to just admit it! I cant believe I've had to wait this long to find out. You've made me feel like such an idiot. I can't even look at you right now!" Gabriella's whole body tightened as anger took over her body, mind and soul - her words ending up in painful screams rather than angry shouts.
She reached behind her neck and clawed the necklace that Troy had given her two years previous--never once had it been taken off…until today.
She looked at it one last time before throwing it forcefully at Troy and storming out of the room and slamming the living room door behind her shattered frame.
In Troy's mind everything had happened too quickly. One minute she was kissing him and the next she was screaming and crying at him. He hadn't had a chance to fully take in what had happened until he watched her run from the room and heard the hard wooden door slam behind her.
He looked down to the necklace that hung across his leg--he opened the pendent carefully and examined the two pictures that lay inside. The first one was of the kissing; a picture that had been taken by Chad at one of his many garden parties, and the second was a more recent picture of Troy smiling down at Gabriella as she slept soundly on the couch.
He suddenly realized if he didn't make this right he could end up losing her forever.
Without thinking about anything other than running to Gabriella; holding her tightly in his arms and whispering that everything was gonna be ok, he got up off the couch and started making his way towards the door.
Suddenly the world around him seemed to change--black dots appeared in his line of vision and a wave of light-headedness took over his body. Before he knew it his legs gave way beneath him and he was laying a jagged mess on the floor. He could hear strange muffled noises in his ears and leaving him no time to cry out for help his whole world turned to black.
--
Gabriella sat at the breakfast bar with her head resting in her hands, desperately trying to calm herself down before going back in and trying again to find out what it was exactly that was being kept from her.
Her mind was working on overdrive again; never for a second allowing her time to rest or sort though the millions of possible scenarios that she had created. Her chain of thought, however, was broken suddenly--not by her mind-- but by a strange noise coming from the living room.
Forgetting the argument that had happened only minutes before she threw open the door, completely unprepared for what she was about to see.
Gabriella's swollen orbs glazed over as she choked on her breath and rushed to Troy's side.
"Troy? Are you ok? Can you hear me? Troy please speak to me" she took hold of his shoulders and shook him violently from side to side, hoping that he was just sleeping and that he would open his and everything would be ok again.
"Troy I'm so sorry. I love you so much, open your eyes please" her words became more frantic as panic took over her body causing her to take in deep breaths and shake violently. She reached her hands to Troy's neck, hoping desperately that she would be able to find a pulse.
She moved her fingers 10s of times desperately trying and trying to gain reassurance that he was still alive. Finally her fingers found what they were looking for, and even though it was barely there it was reassurance enough that maybe, just maybe he would be ok.
Suddenly she realized she would have to call for help, she remembered all the times in elementary school that the had practiced calling 911 and how they were always taught to be calm and explain what happened and where she was. But all of those lessons went out of the window as she frantically grabbed for her cell phone and dialed the numbers.
"911, what's your emergency?" the calm voice of a female operator filled her ears, she continued shaking Troy as she tried desperately to gather her thoughts well enough to speak.
"Please you have to help me. My boyfriend Troy, he's collapsed and he won't wake up. Please you have to send someone right now" as soon as she finished her sentence another wave of hysterics set in causing her head to fall to Troy's chest as she sob even louder.
"I need you to tell me where you are, I cant send anyone to help Troy unless you tell me exactly where you are" Gabriella took a deep breath before reciting Troy's address to the woman and begging her once again for help.
"Someone is on their way, can you tell me if Troy is breathing?" Gabriella cursed herself for forgetting all along about his breathing. She silenced her sobs as she moved her ear closer to his nose.
"He's breathing but he's really pale and cold, I don't know what to do. I cant lose him please someone help me" Gabriella begged desperately to no one in particular as she looked down at Troy and watching as the color drained from his lips.
"I need you to stay calm, someone will be there very soon. I want you to stay on the line until help arrives ok? Let me know if anything changes" Gabriella wasn't really listening, she knew that the woman was only trying to help her but she was only concerned with Troy.
"He looks like he's dying, please he can't die, please" Gabriella cried harder and harder as the harsh reality of her words began to sink in, Troy could die thinking that she didn't want to be with him anymore.
Everything after that seemed to happen in slow motion, 2 paramedics made their way into the living room, putting Troy in the back of an ambulance before pulling in a hysterical Gabriella behind them and quickly making their way towards the hospital.
Before they knew it, the ER doors were being pushed open and the paramedics ran down the corridor pushing Troy, soon joined by many doctors and nurses.
--
Marissa Montez couldn't believe her eyes as she noticed the face of the young boy who had been swiftly moved to her trauma room. For her this wasn't just another patient, the boy laid before her meant the world to Gabriella and she knew that losing him would be just one tragedy too many. Suddenly her thoughts moved to Gabriella, did she know that Troy was here? Was outside in a hysterical state not knowing what was happened? Neither really matter at that moment in time; Marissa knew that now was the time to be the doctor and not the concerned mother.
--
The next 2 hours passed like a blur. Gabriella had been sitting outside the trauma room door ever since they had disappeared into the brightly lit room and no matter how many nurses tried to take her somewhere else she had refused to leave.
She leapt to her feet as she saw her mother emerge from the room looking exhausted. She was quietly glad that her mother had been the doctor to help Troy; at least she knew how much his life really meant.
"Oh Mija" Marissa walked over to her still hysterical daughter, held her tightly in her arms and rocked her back and forth gently.
"He's not gone is he? Please mom you can't let him die" Gabriella's sobbing choked her words as she took in huge deep breaths, trying desperately to get enough air.
"He's not gone sweetheart, but he's very sick. I want you to be prepared" any relief that she had felt on hearing that he was still alive was soon washed away when she realized that 'being prepared' meant they didn't think he would make it through the night.
"You have to help him mom, I can't go through this again. There must be something that you can do" her grip on her mother tightened, trying so hard to cling onto any hope that was given out.
"Were trying our best baby girl I promise you. You can go in and see him. Talk to him, even though he not awake he will be able to hear you" Marissa placed a soft kiss on her daughter's head before releasing her grip slightly and guiding Gabriella towards the door.
As she entered the room, the door snapped quickly shut behind her. She looked over at Troy; his usually naturally tanned skin was a ghostly shade of gray, his upper body visible and covered in plastic tubes and wires. The room seemed plain, the walls were a dull shade of cream and the only source of noise was the incessant beeping coming from the various monitors. She wondered what stories the room would have to tell, how many people had died in this very spot and how many peoples lives had been saved. She stepped closer to his side, almost frightened that if she touched him something terrible would happen. She had never had to be strong for both of them before, that was always something Troy had done so naturally, but she had no choice she had to hold it together.
All she could think was that all of this was her fault maybe if she hadn't shouted at him he wouldn't be here fighting for his life. She frowned, perhaps she shouldn't be here at all, when he woke up it was unlikely that he would want to see her after everything that she had said to him.
Suddenly she remembered that if she spoke to him he would be able to here her so maybe if she said sorry everything would be forgiven.
"Troy, baby you have to wake up. I need you so much" sobs once again began taking over her body. She reached forward taking one of his cold, clammy hands in her and holding it tightly to her chest, tracing delicate circles on his skin with her thumb.
"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. I love you so much and I know that there's no one else, I don't even know why I said it. I was just so angry I wasn't thinking before I said anything. You have to believe me baby, please. You have to wake up so that I can tell you how much I love you. I can't lose you; you're my whole world. I really need you to hold on, you can't let go…you just can't." her pleading ramblings stopped, allowing her to keep a deep breath. She didn't know what else to do, what else she could say that would make everything right.
She sat herself down a small plastic chair that had been placed at the side of the room. Taking hold of Troy's hand once again, she laced his fingers with hers and rested her head gently down on the mattress feeling comforted by the closeness of her head to his body.
"Gabriella sweetheart, Troy's results have come back. There is good news and bad news" Gabriella looked up at Marissa as she walked into the room, she began running her thumb over Troy's knuckles as she awaited the results of the tests.
"Shoot, I don't care which one is first, please mom just tell me" her grip on his hand tightened, wishing hard that he would squeeze hers back to give her the comfort that she desperately needed.
"Good first then, it's not cancer and at the moment is not immediately life threatening. The bad news, we think Troy has had a serious kidney infection and his kidneys are not struggling to recover. We're not sure if he had kidney failure or if this is just a very serious infection. We're giving him IV antibiotics. He should be waking up soon" Gabriella's mind began to think about what had been going on over the last few months; the back pain; the nausea, everything suddenly seemed to make sense.
"But he's not going to die right? He's going to be ok?" Gabriella released Troy's hand from hers and walked towards her mother, wrapping her arms around her tightly.
"Not today Mija, but he's got a long road ahead of him" Gabriella smiled slightly, she didn't care how long or even how bumpy the road ahead was, all she cared about was that she wasn't going to lose him.
"I should call Jack and Lucy, they should be here. I completely forgot about calling them, god I'm so selfish. This is all my stupid fault" Now that the fear inside of her had passed, it made way for anger and frustration.
"None of this is your fault, you did exactly the right thing by getting him here quickly" Marissa comforted her agitated daughter, rubbing her back reassuringly.
"But if I hadn't of got angry over something so fucking stupid, we wouldn't even be here. I can't believe I actually doubted how much he loves me. Stupid, stupid, stupid" Gabriella paced around the room causing Marissa to sigh worriedly, it was a sight that had become all too familiar to her over the last few years.
"It would have just been a matter of time, this would have happened whether you got angry or not. You can't let yourself get into this again Gabriella, why don't we go and get some food and then I'll take you home" Gabriella stopped pacing and looked at her mother, she knew that all the signs were there but she didn't have the strength to do anything about them.
"I'm not hungry. I'm not leaving Troy until he wakes up. I don't want him to wake up alone…he might be scared. I never want him to be scared" Marissa knew that no matter how hard she tried, if her daughter want to stay then she would. Gabriella had always been headstrong; it had been something that Marissa had really admired in her, until the death of her grandfather. That was the time that everything changed, she knew that Gabriella still hadn't recovered and she hoped with her whole self that this would not push her over the edge.
"Well, I'm going to head home now. You know where I am if you want to come home" Gabriella walked back over to Troy, taking his hand once again and nodding slowly in reply to Marissa's question.
"I love you" Gabriella kissed Troy's dry lips, wishing and hoping that he had heard everything she had said over the last few crazy hours.
She settled herself in the chair next to his bed again; Marissa had said that he should wake up soon and she wasn't going to sleep until he woke up and everything was right between them again.
It was going to be a very long night.
I hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter; I worked really hard so please, please review! Thank you so much for reading!