Chapter 4

After a runthrough of all the amenities and details of the apartment, Clare left with a soft goodbye, promising to drop off the rental papers tomorrow afternoon. Jesse stayed back for a while, checking the appliances and making a mental note of what needed to be fixed or renovated. The kitchen was good, with nice ceramic tile floors and new white countertops. The fridge and stove were a bit outdated but Jesse liked the retro feel they carried. The living room had dark hardwood floors that creaked, but in a comforting, warm way. He made a mental note to buy some cleaning supplies, though. Everything really did have a layer of dust, like Clare said. Jesse made his way upstairs to the large bedroom, which covered most of the third floor, save for the master bathroom connected to it. He reached into his pocket and fondled the two wads of Benjamins settled there. He would have to go back to the Monte Carlo and retrieve the rest of the cash. The big bundle of blood-spotted cash. In the old pillowcase. Very suspicious. Ugh. Jesse would have to go back to the parking lot in the dead of night in order to pick up the rest of his money. For now, he simply stashed the two wads in the bedside table, only taking a couple hundred for a trip to the store.

Jesse found a hardware store easily enough. It was actually owned by some guy named Benny, and not Clare's father. He was a cool dude, offering him help on where to find all the tools he needed. Jesse bought all his supplies for a good deal and then returned to the apartment. He started to get to work- mopping the floors, cleaning the countertops, and dusting off the wood. He bought a new mattress, sheets, and comforter as well. They had been looking pretty run-down, and Jesse cringed at the thought of sleeping in another person's bed. By the time Jesse was finished, a clock in the kitchen struck midnight. Jesse wiped a layer of sweat from his brow and smiled to himself. He liked being able to put a hard day's work behind him. Before Walter White came into his life, Jesse shrugged off any chore he was given and never had the courage to do anything but make second-rate meth with fucking Chili P. Now, after the nightmare of Heisenberg, he was a new man. An adult.

He could thank Mr. White for that, at least.

With the cloak of midnight on his shoulders, Jesse was easily able to return to the parking lot unseen. The town settled down with the absence of the sun, like a small child obeying its mother when the lights go out. Badger Hill was quiet and serene as Jesse walked down the paved sidewalk toward the only large parking lot in town. Eventually, he spotted the Monte Carlo resting right where he left it. Jesse opened the door of the car, and was temporarily blinded by the flood of light from the car. He reached down to unlock the glove box and grabbed the pillowcase. Jesse closed the car door a little too hard, causing a noise to come from a nearby alley.

"Who the hell is that?" A gruff voice was heard from a distance. Shuffling sounds.

"I don't know, man." A woman's voice.

Jesse turned around abruptly, keys still in hand. He may have thought that Badger Hill was safe, but maybe it only seemed that way. Even the littlest towns have their secrets, after all. And one could never be too careful, especially in his position. Jesse tried to hide the cash in his coat, but the bundle was too big.

"Seriously, who is that? I haven't seen him around." The male voice said. "Common, Clare, let's bail."

Wait, wait?

Jesse moved toward the alley. He could barely make out two bodies huddled there. It was a scene that Jesse knew all too well. When he approached them, cash stuffed very obviously in his coat, his eyes opened wide when they landed on Clare's pristine porcelain face.

"Andrew?" Clare's voice was laced with surprise. Jesse could see the whites of her eyes grow wider. And she was hiding something behind her back. A big, Alaskan indigenous man towered over her as he stepped forward and approached him.

"Who's Andrew?"

"New kid in town." Clare said. Jesse could pick up a small quiver in her voice.

Jesse gulped. "Yeah, uh, I'm Andrew, nice to meet you." He held out his hand to shake the Alaskan man's, attempting to be Adult Jesse. His hand fell when the man did not return the gesture.

"What are you doing out here this late, Andrew?" Clare questioned, still nervous as hell. Her eyes darted back and forth between the two men. The burly Alaskan dude glared at Jesse, who glared right back.

"What, is that a crime?" Jesse asked, clutching the cash closer to his chest.

"No… but-"

"What did you get out of your fancy car there, little Andy?" The Alaskan man shoved Jesse slightly to point out the bundle he was carrying. "Doesn't look like fucking laundry."

"Leave him alone, Gray. He's my family's new tenant. He's cool."

"As if your family needs more money, Clare-"

"Please," Clare begged. Jesse furrowed his brows. Clare was defending him? Jesse hardly knew her. Well, they had a great day together earlier, but really?

"Fine," the Alaskan man looked Jesse up and down and clenched his fists. He gave Jesse one last up-down and turned away. "I'm leaving. See you later."

"Bye, Gray." Clare watched him stride down the street. He had a slight limp, which honestly only made him seem tougher because he was so huge. Gray had a very large build and stood over six and a half feet tall. His hair was long and dark, braided down his back. Jesse gulped slightly as he watched him leave.

"You know, I could have taken that guy for sure. Are you okay?" Jesse asked.

"Me? I'm fine. Gray is a friend." Clare shrugged her shoulders and leaned against the alley wall. Jesse slowly nodded while stuffing the pillow case further into his jacket. Her arm was still positioned behind her back, hiding something. But Jesse didn't have the guts to ask what it was.

"Okay. It's getting late. Goodnight, Clare." Jesse said while walking away, awkwardly trying to hide the cash in his coat.

"Night."

Jesse returned to his apartment quietly, not even thinking about what just happened. Jesse found a hiding space under his sink to put his bloody cash in and went straight to bed without a second thought.

The next morning followed the night smoothly, easing into a beautiful sunrise that caressed Jesse into that blissful moment between sleep and consciousness. His lids opened slowly, savoring every bit of waking up as a free man. A strange sound was coming from his apartment. Fuck, what if the DEA found him? Jesse bolted out of bed and headed downstairs to face the intruder. He did not dare to turn the corner. He peeked out and spotted a shadow moving around in the kitchen. Jesse took a deep breath, and clenched his fists. He burst into the kitchen to find-

Clare.

"What the hell?" Jesse pondered aloud.

Clare stood with her back to him, moving around pots and pans. "I'm guessing you don't have a spatula that you know of?" Clare opened drawer after drawer.

"Uh...I-" Jesse said with a confused look plastered on his face.

"I'm sorry for barging in, but I thought I could make you some breakfast as a welcoming gift to my town...Well, now our town. Oh, and for renting out the apartment." Clare bended down to look in the bottom drawers.

"Uh...Thanks." Jesse scratched his beard and began to stare at her bent-over ass absentmindedly. God.

"You're welcome." Clare said while still looking through countless drawers.

In that moment, Jesse remembered exactly where he stashed his money. Clare slowly began to search near the sink. Jesse quickly walked over and stood in front of the sink, rubbing the sleep from his eyes so as to not appear suspicious.

"So… what was going on last night?" Jesse asked while leaning backwards on the sink.

"I was just…you know, hanging out." Clare was still searching and easing her way near Jesse's spot by the sink.

"Is he, like, your boyfriend, or something?"

"No," Clare rose and stood to face him. "I said he was a friend, didn't I?"

For some odd reason, Jesse felt a nervous tremor quiver in her voice. He was getting odd vibes from this woman. Jesse narrowed his eyes at her slightly. "What's the real reason why you're digging around in my kitchen?" His eyes left her and trailed back toward the living room, where he could see drawers and parts of the sofa ajar. She had started to look there first. For the money. She knew.

"To make you an official "Welcome to Badger Hill" breakfast. Didn't I say that earlier?" Clare's eyes darted away from him. Jesse could spot the lie. So he did something drastic, and probably immensely stupid.

"You know about the money, don't you?" Jesse asked, stating his words clearly and slowly. He watched Clare gulp slightly, eyes darting away from him as she stated a meek: "No."

Jesse was finally starting to put the pieces together. Clare, hanging in an alleyway at midnight, holding something behind her back with a big surly guy with awful teeth. It was the type of scene he used to see almost every night back in Albuquerque. He knew.

"When did you start using?" Jesse asked.

All of the color drained from Clare's face. "I don't-"

"Stop with the bullshit. I know a junkie when I see one. I just can't believe I didn't notice it until now." He stared her down, causing her to sweat under his gaze. "You're skin is very pale, and you get a nervous twitch in your hands, sometimes. Your teeth are perfect though, so I'm guessing that you use a needle. Meth, right?"

"Please," Clare begged, "just don't tell my dad. He'll kill me. He doesn't know."

Jesse ran a hand through his hair and sighed. The fact that Clare was practically a mirror image of Jane made matters even worse. He remembered what happened the last time he was in this situation, and didn't tell a soul. Jane died. She died laying next to him when she could have been in rehab recovering.

"I don't know, Clare…" Jesse muttered. "I can't just let you do this to yourself."

"Why do you care, Andrew?" Clare glared at him.

"Because," Jesse shrugged, "you remind me of someone."

Clare sighed and crossed her arms. She looked down at the floor, anywhere but his face. Jesse saw both longing and pain etched into her features. She wanted a fix, probably needed it really badly but didn't have the personal funds to keep up with her addiction. He saw it then - her hands shook with withdrawals. She was sick.

"Didn't get your fix because of me last night, huh?" Jesse asked. "Sorry for interrupting. Did Gray start pushing you to use?"

Clare nodded slightly.

"I thought so." Jesse moved closer to her, about a foot away. They locked eyes. Jesse's breathing grew harder as he stared at her. She was just too damn beautiful to be trashed by hard drugs. Her lips parted slightly as he instinctually leaned in closer to her. When his lips were just inches away from hers, in that instant, Clare was Jane, and Andrew was Jesse. In that moment, Jane was alive and they were still together. Shit, what was he doing? Clare wasn't Jane. Jane was gone. And so was Andrea. There was no way that either of them were coming back. Jesse stopped, and turned to whisper in her ear.

"If I ever see you using again, your father is going to hear about it." Abruptly, Jesse stopped and stepped back, biting his lip. He couldn't believe he had almost kissed her. Hopefully she wouldn't notice his want for her. He couldn't risk falling in love again. Every woman he's ever been deeply involved with has ended up dead. Because of him.

"Okay," Clare said, her voice a faint whisper. "I understand."

"Good." Jesse appraised her from head to toe. She was wearing long sleeves to cover the needle marks that no doubt smothered her arms. Eyes bright with need. Her hands still shook with withdrawls. Jesse gained some courage and then spoke. "I know you were looking for my money to get a fix."

"So, I, um," Clare stammered, fiddling with her shirt sleeves. "I brought the papers you need to sign." She walked over to her purse she left by the door. Jesse couldn't believe it. She was totally avoiding the accusation. She waltzed over to him and handed him a few documents, which he took.

"Look," Clare cocked one hip to the side and appraised him. "I know you need this apartment. I also know that you've probably gotten into some illegal activities recently, what with the stacks of cash in the pillowcase for Christ's sake."

Jesse grunted toward her but signed the papers with his fake name, regardless.

"So, if you pretend that you didn't see anything, then I'll pretend that the cash you're paying with is legal. I won't even do a background check on your name."

Shit. Jesse hadn't thought about that. If Clare did a check on Andrew fucking Clarke then she would realize that Andrew Clarke is an australian actor, not him.

"Are you fucking blackmailing me?" Jesse seethed.

"No," Clare grabbed the papers from his hands and stuffed them in her purse. "Just warning you. Tell my dad about our little confrontation last night, and you can say goodbye to your safe haven."

With that, Clare left the apartment, slamming the door on her way out. Now Jesse realized why he never wanted to work with anything drug related ever again. A few wrong words, and the people who stood by you as friends, end up being the enemies you never saw coming.