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To the wife of Malachai Parker,

That first full week I worked as a nanny was probably the most innocent week I spent in the presence of your husband. But it was also the most difficult. I teetered on the edge of my sexual attraction to him and my desire to remain a good employee who wouldn't end up doing something I would regret.

It actually took me that whole week to get comfortable with Kai, but that was because I couldn't shake the way his gaze made me feel like I was exposed. He never did anything to make me uncomfortable though. In fact, he was always relatively friendly, except when he tried to annoy me on purpose to get a rise out of me.

Though in the end, I have to say I want to thank him for helping me find the me that I'd tried to hide for so many years.

You see, Kai had a pretty nasty habit of bringing out a side of me that I'd long kept buried down. In Mystic Falls, I was the quiet one, the one who didn't act outlandishly or get into all this drama. I'd gotten used to a passive existence, kind of letting people walk all over me and act in ridiculous ways around me, but Kai pushed my buttons. He badgered me, got on my nerves, and basically forced out of me the voice I'd lost. It got to the point that I got on his nerves too, and we argued so much that I discovered a new side to my personality that I felt I'd long ago buried for no reason.

We bickered that first week I worked. We bickered so much and I don't even know why, although in retrospect, I realise it was probably the repressed sexual tension between us. He thought I was being too passive when Dani misbehaved, or I thought he was too clingy to his daughter and needed to chill. We even bickered about stupid things like best seats on a plane or best brands of shampoo and other irrelevant things. But it was exactly those fights that were the reason we became friends. I found myself unconsciously opening up to him the more comfortable I felt around him. It was a level of comfort that one only really finds with someone who they have perfect chemistry with.

I don't know how else to explain it except that feeling when you're in a relationship with someone you're in perfect sync with. I won't say I knew that Kai and I were definitely compatible from that first week—I only had a small inkling of it at that time—but I can confirm that after we began sleeping together, I couldn't deny that my feelings that he was the perfect companion got stronger.

Very few guys who I've hung out with have ever made me feel that level of comfort. I'm comfortable with Elena's boyfriend Stefan, my boyfriend Jeremy, my friend Matt, and when he stopped being such a douche, Stefan's brother Damon. But none of them, not even Jeremy, made me feel the sort of absolute comfort I felt with Kai. And considering I hadn't known him for any longer than a week, I knew it was the real deal.

But the more we talked, the more charged things became, the more our looks lingered, the more it felt like we were getting closer and closer to a raging fire we wouldn't be able to back away from. By the end of my first week, we were eating dinner together every night, spending long evenings together and sometimes watching movies and talking until the late hours of the morning. I wouldn't let myself think of it as dating—at least not immediately—until he invited me to go on a picnic with him and Dani. I wasn't hired to work weekends, but he said he wanted me to spend some more time with Dani so I accepted.

There's a part of me that knew deep down that this invitation was him asking me out for real, but I refused to accept it. I was in denial. I wanted to go, even though I knew it wasn't a good idea.

And I was right, because everything changed on that picnic.

When I got to your house, he told me that Dani went to a playdate with a friend from her preschool. But he still wanted to go anyway—with me—and I agreed to go. I don't know what I was hoping would happen, but there was a part of me that knew what it would lead to.

We went trekking through some foliage and a tiny forest somewhere a little north of Portland and ended up at this beautiful field of dandelions. The sky was clear blue and the air smelled so fresh, it was like a scene from a movie. There was a small, clean lake nearby that he promised to take me back to one day to teach me how to fish. He set up the picnic in an area beside the lake, and we just talked about life and our families.

"How'd you discover this place?"

"I wanted to find somewhere to spend quality time with my daughter. I never really got that chance with my dad."

And I think that was the moment when I realised I'd developed a real crush on the man. Not just because he was attractive. Not just because his cooking was 4 star chef level. Behind the smirking and the sex eyes was a man who wanted to give everything to his daughter because he'd had a difficult childhood. And I could relate. I didn't have the greatest childhood either. I saw a kindred spirit in Kai, and I wanted to be there for him. Not just as a support, but someone who'd lived through an unpleasant childhood and still somehow turned out okay as a functioning adult.

I'd heard stories from Liv about how tumultuous the relationships in the Parker family had been in the past. Learning what I did about Joshua Parker and the divisive and derisive tactics he used to raise his kids, it was pretty heartwarming to see he'd had a change of heart by the time Dani was born. Kai still didn't fully trust him or like him, but he'd forgiven him and with a bit of persuasion from me, later, he'd finally decided to let your daughter spend quality time with her grandfather. Personally, I was touched by how much Joshua is trying to make amends to all his children and reunite the family. But that's a bit of a story for another day.

By the time we were nearing the end of the picnic, the sky had darkened considerably. We were there for hours, and I didn't want to leave, but I'd told Grams that I wouldn't be home so late so I could help her reorganise her bookshelves.

"It's getting late," I'd said, though I was reluctant to end the evening when I'd been having such a good time. "I should be heading home now."

"Okay, but one more thing. I want you to be honest and try this."

He'd used rose water in his homemade cheesecake and wanted me to have a little bit to see if it was a recipe he could stick with since rose water tends to be overpowering. He fed it to me from the fork, and honestly, I should have taken the fork to eat it myself, but I let him feed me. I understand what it must have looked like to see me sucking off the fork and then licking my lips, but I wasn't really paying attention to that. I wasn't really paying attention to much of anything, so I definitely didn't notice when his gaze turned smouldering and intense.

The cheesecake was amazing, though I didn't doubt his incredible ability to make some of the tastiest food I have ever had. But I'd been careless and ended up with some crumbs on my lips.

"You've got a little something…" he'd said.

His eyes were focused solely on my lips as he leaned in and brushed away the crumbs. But he didn't move. His thumb gently traced my lip. And that was when I realised how close we were. Breath nearly mingling from the proximity. I could see the flecks of gold in his eyes. We were too close. So close that all I could think about was kissing him. And he must have been thinking the same thing too, because he moved in closer. And closer. And closer.

"Kai…"

I don't know why I'd said his name. I don't know whether I was warning him to stop or encouraging him to keep going.

He did stop.

But only because it started raining in the next second. An unpredicted downpour that drenched us immediately. We stuffed everything in the picnic basket as quickly as we could and hurried back to his car.

The ride was tense and charged, and I couldn't look at him and all I could think about was how the rain had definitely stopped something monumental from happening. It felt like we had almost approached some point of no return, and I wasn't sure whether I wanted that to happen or not. While I was definitely attracted to your husband, I still respected boundaries at that point.

When we got back to the house, I wanted to get home immediately. I had a plan to grab my stuff from the house and drive straight home. I needed to be out of his presence to think straight and to figure out what my next steps should be. And I almost did leave. After Kai unlocked the house, I was in, had grabbed my stuff, and was ready to leave.

Until he stopped me on the porch by taking my wrist.

"Kai… I have to go."

My heart was racing wildly in my chest. I almost couldn't breathe. I wanted to tell him I couldn't be the nanny anymore. I knew that was the moment I should have set official boundaries and ended whatever weird thing had developed between us. But I wasn't that strong. And with his next words, I lost any and all resolve I'd had to get away from the situation.

"I know you feel it too, Bonnie."

I couldn't respond. The way he'd said my name had sealed the deal.

When he pulled me close, I didn't fight him. I let him kiss me, and it was everything I had ever dreamed of and more. I was drowning in his arms; I couldn't resist him even if I tried.

I'm sure you remember your first kiss. The butterflies dancing in your stomach, your giddiness, how light on your feet you felt. The softness of the person's lips, the warmth from their body heat, the rapid fluttering of your heart in your chest. How magical it was, the way your lips and body tingled for days after.

That's how unforgettable the moment was for me. I had all those feelings and more to the point I felt like I was in junior high again the day Matt accidentally gave me my first kiss, and I realised I liked him. It was a lot for me to handle, and I couldn't process my thoughts the right way.

I kissed him back.

I don't know how long we stood under the awning of the porch, clutching each other, hands sliding over each other's skin under our clothes, but when we pulled away, I was breathless. My knees were weak and I had to cling to him for balance. I will never forget the way his gaze was heated with desire. The way his hands felt on my waist. The way his body felt pressed up against mine.

And then I remember he was married. I remembered that I had a boyfriend, no matter what our status.

I ran and left for home immediately without another word. I ignored him calling me to come back. I didn't know how to process what had happened. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know how to react. When I got home, I had to lie to my grandmother that I was taking a nap for a stomach-ache because I was shaken up and trembling. I couldn't stop touching my lips.

A married man had kissed me. It was wrong.

But I'd liked it.

I wanted more.

Sincerely,

The Other Woman