LbN: Well, that'll teach me to write crack!fic and be sarcastic in the disclaimer, lol. Here's the last chapter. Hope the story made you chuckle! Thanks for reading.
The demigods, both Greek and Roman, sat silently around the campfire. After the day's events, they'd all used their various modes of Olympian transportation to meet up in Chicago. They'd decided that they needed some pizza and a venting session with just those who'd been affected. Still, now that they were here, they were all too embarrassed to say anything.
Percy and Nico were looking anywhere but at each other. Reyna and Piper seemed to be taking it all in stride, but were sitting at opposite ends of the table. Drew and Hector, son of Hephaestus, were having a good laugh over the gods awful poetry he'd written. Hazel was trying to avoid Pallus's probing questions.
"Wait," Nico said finally. "Where are Annabeth and Clarisse? I thought Aphrodite said she was visiting them too."
"Yeah, but I doubt she had to administer a cure with those two," Reyna said with a snort.
"Word," Percy said.
Aphrodite strolled through one of the dingier streets of Las Vegas, frowning at the pungent odor. She came upon a pile of trash larger than the rest, and kicked it. It groaned, and she smiled grimly. "Up you get, Eros!" she barked.
Her son sat up, shaking his head groggily. Even after a night of sleeping under a pile of rubbish, he looked perfect. Tall, strong, and a spitting image of Colin Firth's Alexander the Great, he stood and shook himself once more. "Mom," he whined. "Was all of the bell ringing really necessary?"
"After I had to deal with the fallout from your shooting spree? Yes."
"Shooting…?" He trailed off, looking around his feet. He nudged some of the trash away and located his bow. It was bright bronze, and would have blinded any mortal unlucky enough to be caught down that alley with the gods. "Er…where's my quiver?"
Aphrodite rolled her eyes as her son searched the ally.
"Ah ha!" he finally yelled, climbing out of the dumpster. "Empty…."
"Yes, you spent all of them last night," Aphrodite snapped.
"Who'd I get?"
"A handful of demigods. You seemed to be in a mood to make all of them gay."
"Well, at least Annabeth and Clarisse will be in good company now," he said, flashing her a winning smile. He flinched when she smacked him upside the head. "Ow! What was that for?"
"I had to go around administering antidotes, you great dolt! Get your over-tanned arse up to Olympus and apologize to the rest of the gods!"
"Yes, Mother."
"And no more drinking. You obviously can't handle your liquor as well as me."
"Debatable," he muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!"