Paper Crane

Silhouettes danced behind the curtain of darkness. I peeked through the narrow hole from an unseen wall, and saw the flickering lights as they form the shadows. And then, the image grew clearer. The silhouettes began to take new form. Light slowly emerged through the narrow hole. On it goes until everything was bright.

I gasped at the light emerging until it engulfed everything around me. I saw my hands, my breast, and my feet. My pale white skin glowed like a firefly. I opened my mouth to swallow the radiance. And closed my eyes once more.

Once more, I was in total darkness…

"Hinata?"

I heard someone called.

"Hinata…"

Yes, it was Hinata. My name. That's my name.

"Hinata, snap out of it!" a commanding voice followed.

My consciousness came back. Realizing that everything was a dream, I pulled myself out of the dreamy space and tried to listen to everyone around me. I knew I'm surrounded, for I heard whispers.

The festival has been interrupted.

"Poor Neji. It must have been difficult for him to look after such a girl," one of the people around me had spoken.

"Shut up!" someone yelled. It was Naruto.

"What… have I done Naruto?" I asked.

He didn't reply.

"Where is Neji?" Naruto asked someone.

"His wound is being tended. He's insisting on seeing her but we prevented him."

I recognized- it was Lee speaking.

"Naruto, what happened to Neji?" I asked once more.

"If I were you, I'd stay quiet. Hinata, you've lost control tonight," he told me.

I was on the ground. Dirt scattered across my arms. I can feel the hardened soil and dead leaves on my elbow. My obi was in disarray.

Have I fainted?

I felt my hands. They were drenched and sticky. I smelled my fingers.

They smelled blood.

"What have I done?" I shouted.

All I heard was my voice slowly fading. My memory started to come back.

I felt an immense amount of urgency, panic, and self-loathing.

When he said those words, "Marry me…"

I found myself struggling against his arms. My feet were yanking at him and my hands, searched for something to hurt him.

Until I managed to get something out of his pocket: a kunai.

"I'd rather die than marry you!"

That's when I realized what I just did.

I almost killed the man I'm supposed to wed.

I was locked inside my room. Or rather, I locked myself inside my room. For two days, I never spoke to anyone. Hanabi brought me food, and I gave her silence in return.

I didn't speak to my father. I didn't ask, nor demand any explanation.

At night, I found myself shivering. My hands were shaking, and my feet were cold.

I could still feel his warm flesh, the blade ripping through it.

But he didn't cry, I'm sure of it. His words choked. The last I heard from him that night was…

"Forgive me…"

My whole body was trembling. I coiled into a tight ball to shun the cold.

My hands were filthy; the blood still lingered at the corner of my fingers. I sobbed until I felt spasms all over my body.

"Why is this happening to me?"

"What have I done?"

On the third day, I was forced to eat breakfast with the rest of the family. Hanabi knocked very early to fetch me. She told me that father wants to see me, so I must join them for breakfast.

Silence was part of the menu that morning. Hiashi waited until Hinata settled on her place, and Hanabi beside her. The other members of the main family stopped conversing upon seeing Hinata on the doorway.

When she's already settled, everyone continued the meal. But Hinata didn't touch her food. She only drank her tea, wiped her lips gently with a piece of white napkin.

"Don't you like your food?" Hiashi asked.

It took a while for her to answer. When she did, the verbal clash between them began.

"It seems nowadays no one really cares to consider what is it that I want and what is it that I don't. I'm surprised by your sudden concern father."

"Everyone in this house only thinks about your welfare. But you are too difficult to understand."

"Am I?" Hinata raised her voice.

Hanabi touched her sister's hand, suggesting her to show some respect, but the latter ignored her plea.

"I guess it was all my fault then. To lose my sense of sight and become a useless member of this family, ready to be disposed by my father to my unwilling, spineless cousin."

Unwilling. Spineless.

Those two words hit him like a bucket of ice water.

Neji was on the other side of the table. That morning, Hiashi invited him for breakfast. Hianata's father will officially announce their engagement, despite of Hinata's violent objection.

She displayed her condescending behavior in front of everyone and even insulted Neji, not knowing that he's right there, about an arm's reach from her seat.

"I will not allow you talking like that!" Hiashi scolded. "I didn't raise you to become an imprudent daughter…"

"The question is…" Hinata countered.

"Did you take any effort to raise me father? As far as I know, it was teacher Kurenai who taught me to become ninja. You didn't want me because I'm weak. Hanabi poses a greater potential to lead this clan more than I do, right? "

Hiashi was silenced by the truth on Hinata's remark. Everyone in the table, including Hanabi felt guilt upon their sleeves.

She must have felt good about criticizing herself for she didn't cease talking.

"And now, you want me to marry Neji. Have you forgotten father? He tried to kill me when I fought against him on the Chunin exam."

"How could you give your daughter to someone who used to despise you!"

She was satirical. Laughing after that remark.

A second stroke of guilt hit Neji. But he remained still.

"Here I am, more useless than before. Do you honestly think that I'm okay father?"

Tears began to spread through her closed eyes. Her hands trembled incredibly.

"It… It could've been better if I died back then. Tell me!"

"Your unspeakable demeanor…" Hiashi hissed.

"Uncle, please stop it," it was Neji who spoke.

She froze. She didn't know that he's there the whole time.

He must have heard t all –she thought. Her insulting words…

Unwilling. Spineless.

"I'd like to go now. Excuse me," she coldly ended.

Holding her cane, she sluggishly walked away from the table, with her left hand stretched out, feeling the access towards the doorway.

Frustrated that she couldn't find the exit, she strode forward unaware of crashing into the wooden panel of the room.

She did bump into the edge of the door. Recovering her balance, she traced the outlines of the wooden frame until she reached the opening on the other side.

Everyone witnessed her determination to leave the room without asking help from anyone.

It sent both Hanabi and Hiashi to tears.

I cried harder this time. I have never told father about my resentments, not until now.

Though my eyes were devoid of sight, they were still capable of shedding tears.

How come?

How come my eyes lost their value , yet they still give me pain?

My fingers itched; I touched the scar that traversed my forehead, down to my eyes. I felt the stitches. One, two… I started counting until I reached fifteen.

And then I wiped my face with my blanket. I covered my face. I feel so ashamed.

I continued to sob for countless of minutes, until someone came in.

"What are you doing here?" I said while weeping. He seated at the corner of my bed without saying anything.

"You heard me earlier right?" I continued.

"How does it feel?" I asked.

"About?" He returned my question with another.

"Being insulted?" I said without thinking.

"I don't feel anything remarkable about it," he said.

"I called you spineless…"

"But I'm not unwilling."

"You… just… don't give up," I said.

"And you- how do you feel?" It was his turn to ask.

"About insulting you?"

"No. About telling your father everything you've been keeping inside."

"You don't need to know. And even if you do, you wouldn't understand."

"Perhaps you're right," he replied.

" I was too young when my father died."

I held back what I was about to say, after hearing that.

"You feel it too Hinata..."

"What?"

"The loneliness." He moved, but I wasn't sure was he was about to do.

"I don't know what it's like to be blind like you, but I certainly know how it feels like to be out there, all alone," he finished.

I felt his hand on top of mine. He was holding something. I couldn't figure out what it was at first. I ran my fingers through a small figure.

It was an origami crane.

"I used to do a lot of these when I was younger," he said.

"I don't know how to make them," I told him.

He chuckled.

"After father died, I began practicing taijutsu and ninjutsu all by myself. I still loathed the main family back then. After practicing, when my hands and feet were already bleeding, I make paper cranes. When I see them, I remember my father's hopes for me and for the future of this clan."

He continued.

"When I first saw you I told my father that you're cute. I wanted to know who you are and become your friend… I've decided to make a paper crane for you... But I wasn't able to give you one."

His jaw tightened. Remembered that time when he began to develop resentment for the main faction of the Hyuuga clan.

"Uncle Hiashi "borrowed" me, and gave me this branch family seal on my forehead. I realized after that, that we aren't same. I am Neji Hyuuga, and my duty is to protect you, Hinata-sama. That is my purpose in life."

I held the figure between my palms.

"Do you regret it?" I asked him.

"No."

"So, if my father orders you to marry me, you'll do it right? If he tells you that I wouldn't be of any use to anyone, except yourself, you'll agree."

"Am I right?"

He didn't respond to my questions.

I was expecting him to say "yes" but he didn't.

What I didn't expect was, what he had done next.

His lips were warm. I smelled the fragrant scent of his skin as it pressed against my own. I couldn't comprehend my feelings. After all, it was my first kiss.

I leaned on the wall, unable to think clearly. His lips still locked with mine. He ran his right hand through my side, and the other one was holding my hand.

When he withdrew, I could almost hear myself whimper.

"My goodness…" I blurted out.

"Hinata," he spoke. " If you do not wish to marry me now, then I'll wait for the right time."

I was completely out of breath.

"But for now, I will stay by your side, and do everything you please."

I didn't choose my words when I responded.

"As expected from a servant," I absentmindedly answered.

The paper crane on my palm was crushed.

And suddenly, deformed.