Authors Note: so a friend/reader commented that it jumps around a lot, and for that I'm sorry! I'm not trying to make excuses, but I'm writing this on an iPad because I don't have my laptop and I'm not getting it back for a few weeks. So once I get it back, I'm going to be going back and reworking the chapters because this Is so much messier than I'm used to writing! And I'll be able to upload the rest of Pantomime! I have not given up on that story!

Chapter 4:

Hermione owled into work the next morning that she was getting one if her sick days. She couldn't bear to see anybody that day. She laid in bed for the longest time, then she decided she wasn't going to feel sorry for herself. She took a long bath and then decided to have some lunch. She walked in and froze at the sight. A single red rose floated next to an folded note. She hesitantly reached for the note first,

Dear Hermione,

You may believe that this was all a ploy to get you into bed or something. And I know you said that it didn't mean anything to me, but it did. It meant so much. More than you will ever know. I'm sorry we can't be together like I wish. And I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. And I'm sorry I couldn't stay like I wished. I've left you a rose, this rose is enchanted to stay fresh for as long as I'm alive. Keep it knowing that I'll love you forever and that it's eternal. And we'll be together in spirit and in heart.

I do love you.

Harry

She stares at the note for minutes, uncomprehending of what he's written. She doesn't even realize that there are tears on her cheeks until she goes to wipe away a piece of hair that had fallen on her face. She looks at the note again, she wishes she could just throw them away, but she knows she can't.

Two months have passed since that night with Harry. She's made sure to keep away from the Burrow and from any Weasley she may know. She hasn't tried to owl Harry, hasn't sought him out. She finally realizes the guilt he must've felt that night. She didn't regret sleeping with Harry, she regrets the way it happened. She regrets the circumstances. He's a married man. With a child. She vowed she wasn't going to be the other woman.

For the past two weeks she's been feeling under the weather. She's been throwing up, feeling bloated, but it's the random spouts of vomiting that has her worried. She's suspects she caught something from the patients she cares for.

She slowly walks into the office space she was provided when she was promoted to head healer. She sees her assistant waiting for her with memos from the ministry and head of the hospital. "Good morning Ellen, anything important?"

Ellen looks at her searchingly, "Not at this moment, are feeling okay Healer Granger?" She steers Hermione into her office chair and feels her forehead. She's cool to the touch, not feverish or warm, just the same temperature she's usually at.

Hermione smiles wanly at her assistant, "Oh Ellen, you always looks out for me, but I am perfectly all right. I've just been feeling under the weather, besides, I'm sure there are more patients worse off than I am. I'll let you know if I get worse or something! I promise!" She convinces Ellen enough that she leaves her alone in her office.

Hermione places a hand on her stomach, it's just a stomach bug, she tries to convince herself.

It's not until the third month that she's sure that something is wrong. She asks one of her friends to check her up, just to make sure there's nothing wrong with her.

Amy, her good friend from the maternity department gives her a thorough check up. She waves her wand up and down her body. It pings when she hovers over her stomach. She hesitantly looks at Hermione, her brows furrow, as far as she knows Hermione has never been with anybody.

"Hermione," she hesitantly asks, "I need to ask you some questions, and I need you to be honest with me. Okay?"

Hermione sits up quickly, "Is there something wrong with me? Am I going to die?"

Amy chuckles, "No silly girl, but I do need you to be honest with me. Have you had sex in the last couple of months?"

Hermione feels dread pool in her stomach, "No, please tell me it's not what I think it is! It can't be! Please!"

"I'm sorry, I can't lie, you're pregnant..." Hermione cautiously places her hands on her stomach and starts to sob.

"It was only one night! This can't be happening!" She pleads with Amy.

"Oh Hermione, you and I know that it only takes one night for this to happen! Is the father not in the picture?" She asks as she rubs hermione's back.

"No! He can't be!" She exclaims loudly. She hesitates for a few seconds, "Amy? If I tell you his name, will you promise not to tell him?" Her tears have dried and now she's ready to plan ahead, she watches as Amy thinks about it and then promise her, "He's married. That's why he can't be in the picture. His name is...he's my best friend. Harry..."

Amy looks at her with wide eyes and mouth agape, "Oh Hermione, how did you let this happen?"

"It just did! We hadn't seen each other for months and then he shows up out of the blue. And we talked, and we drank wine, and it just happened! Then he left the next morning! And I haven't seen him since! I need to leave! I can't stay here and have his baby when he's all ready married and has his own child! You have to help me! Please!" She pleads, her hands on Amy's shoulders and eyes wild as she pleads for help.

Amy looks at her, she sees her friend whose broken and pleading for her help, "Of course, I'll do anything to help you."

And so they plan, Hermione sends in her resignation letter to the head of St. Mungo's and then packs up her stuff. She doesn't exactly know where to go.

Amy comes into her apartment to see Hermione sitting in the spot closest to the fireplace, "Hermione, I think I have a place for you to stay. See my boyfriend, he's finally moving here, and the flat he's living in has enough space. It's three bedrooms and it's nice. I've been there, but the only problem is, it's in Italy. I don't know if it's far enough away that you'll feel safe, but it's there if you want it. He's willing to sell it for a good price. It's by the ocean..."

Hermione smiles, it feels like the first time she's smiled in weeks. "I'll take it, thank you. How soon can I move there?"

"Well he's supposed to have all of his stuff here next week! You can be there in two weeks!" Amy adds with a smile.

Hermione smiles weakly at that, that means she has to attend the dinner at the Burrow next week. Molly insists, claiming that she hasn't seen Hermione in months. Hermione's all ready starting to show. Just a small bump, somebody's bound to notice.

"Thank you Amy!" She gets up to hug Amy, she pulls back, "Is a concealment charm harmful to a baby?" She asks hesitantly.

Amy quickly looks at her, "Hm, it shouldn't, but it won't work well. It give's the illusion that you have a flat stomach but they'll still feel it. I would advise not doing it."

Hermione deflates at that, "Okay, thank you anyway!"

Amy leaves soon after that. Hermione sits in her home, talking quietly to her baby. She had the option of aborting, but she couldn't. She thought of Harry's face, and how this baby is part of her and the man she loves. She couldn't, even if she wanted to. With one hand on her stomach and another on her heart, she whispers, "I'll take care of you."

With all of her things packed and ready to take, she was ready. She just needed to say good bye to everybody at the Burrow.