Hi. If you feel the need to reread the whole story before reading this don't worry. I had to do that too. Also, Kelley came up with the title. I take no responsibility for that.

"Thanks for bringing me all the way back here," I told Emmett while he drove me to the bar to get my car.

"It was so worth it coming out here last night to get you guys. You should have seen yourselves!"

"Ugh. Shut up. I don't want to think about how messy we were."

"Yeah, well if it makes you feel better we weren't much better off."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

"I didn't think it would, short stuff."

I rolled my eyes. "Why the hell do you still call me that?"

"Because everyone is short to me."

I had to give him that one. "Fair point."

After the heavy way last night had ended I was grateful for the sunshine and good mood Emmett had put me in. That was just Emmett's way, though. He was everyone's big brother whether he was related to them or not. No one I knew was more naturally carefree and happy.

But with the way my life had been going the past few days I should have known it wouldn't last long.

When we pulled into the parking lot and I moved to get out of the car, Emmett grabbed my wrist. "Esme?"

I turned around to face him.

"I know you've never been comfortable talking about what happened between you two, but he still loves you."

I raised an eyebrow. "He said this?"

He shrugged and released my hand. "He doesn't have to."

I climbed out without another word, but as I drove home Emmett's words played on my mind like a needle stuck on a record. Even if I didn't want to admit it, I knew he was right. Everyone did.

We couldn't go down that path again, though. It would only end in heartbreak for everyone. And unlike last time, I had to consider Maggie. She was too attached to Carlisle already. If we broke each other's hearts again, it would break hers too.

I couldn't risk that.

.

Six hours and three near-panic attacks later Maggie and I stood in a small room at the back of the church with the rest of the wedding party, waiting to be told it was time.

She kept tapping my leg, asking when it was going to be her turn to walk down the aisle.

"Mommy, I'm bored," she whined when I sat her at the table and looked around for something she could draw on.

I knelt in front of her as best as my dress would allow.

"Sweetie, I know, but it won't be much longer. Just hang in there for a little while, okay. Aunt Bella's still getting ready and we want her to look pretty, right?"

She smiled wide and nodded. "Super pretty!"

"Hey, shortcake, let me show you something awesome you can do while we wait."

I had to roll my eyes. Whatever Emmett had in mind could not be good. Especially when it involved his phone.

"Don't worry," he told me. "It's just Skee Ball."

I sat on the table, not caring about my dress, and watched Maggie play for a few moments. I knew Carlisle was watching us, but when I looked up and saw his smile I wasn't prepared for how content it made me feel. I had screwed up so much in my life, but the way he looked at us made me feel like Maggie was the one thing I had gotten right.

Eventually we were told it was time to line up, and I had to put my hand on top of Maggie's head to keep her from bouncing up and down while we waited for the music to start.

Once I was positioned at the front, I watched with a smile as Bella came down the aisle with my daughter proudly carrying her train behind her. She would never try to overshadow her aunt on her wedding day, and maybe I was a bit biased, but my baby was the most beautiful thing in the world, practically skipping behind Bella in her excitement.

She sat between my parents through the ceremony, and amazingly managed to sit still the entire time. I suspected the silly faces Carlisle was subtly making at her might have something to do with that.

Dammit, why couldn't he just stop being so perfect? It was his best friend's wedding and he was going to spend it entertaining my daughter. Going away was supposed to make him boring, not make me want him more. Stupid, useless man.

Once the ceremony was over, I picked up Maggie outside the church. I could tell she was tired from the way she laid her head on my shoulder. I prayed she would last through the reception. She would probably be back to bouncing around once she had some dinner, but for now my princess was exhausted.

The two families took one limo to the reception hall and the wedding party took another. I was glad for the fifteen minute break from Carlisle's presence. He had been here less than a week and I was already running away from him.

Maggie fell asleep with her head on my lap almost the minute we climbed into the car.

"Aww, poor baby," Bella said, brushing Maggie's hair away from her face. "She's probably so worn out."

I nodded. "Sorry she was a little over enthusiastic with her duties."

"No way! She was amazing. She was probably more excited to be there than anyone else in the church. I couldn't have asked for better help."

"So," Mom interjected, obviously bursting to question her baby girl, "are you excited to finally be married?"

She looked at Edward, but he only shrugged. "It doesn't feel much different, honestly," Bella said.

Mom didn't look convinced, but she was much more romantic than Bella and me. Sometimes I swore we were adopted. Our mom lived with her head in the clouds while her daughters lived with their feet on the ground.

Life wasn't always a fairytale.

I had no doubt, though, that Edward and Bella would have an amazing marriage. Their bond was solid, and they both went in with both eyes open. They were so much smarter than Carlisle and I had been.

Edward leaned back against the seat and fiddled with the ring on Bella's finger. "Now all we have to do is find a house."

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" Dad asked. I rolled my eyes. He was so pragmatic. If they wanted a house, let them buy a damn house. The wedding wasn't that expensive.

"We have enough saved for a down payment and already have mortgage approval," Bella assured him. "We've just been waiting so that we weren't planning a wedding and a move at the same time. It's beyond time, though. I can't handle that apartment anymore."

I smiled sympathetically. They had been living in a tiny apartment together for what felt like forever while they saved nearly all their pennies. A house was well deserved.

Maggie was still sound asleep when we arrived at the reception hall, but we still had an hour before the guests would begin arriving, so there was no way I was going to wake her yet. I lifted her into my arms and carried her on my hip into the hall, not caring that my dress was probably wrinkled in that "I just got fucked against a bathroom wall" kind of way. Too bad that wasn't the case.

"Has she been asleep since we left the church?" Carlisle asked. He had undone his bowtie and it was hanging over his shoulders. I wanted to whimper at how hot he looked.

I shook my head and settled for snark instead of sex noises.

"You don't like your tie, or what?"

He fingered the end. "God knows why he decided on bowties instead of regular ones," he said with a smirk. "Kid has no fashion sense."

"Hey," I shot back. "Bowties are cool."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Es."

Ugh. Why did he have to call me that? Only he ever did, and he knew exactly what he was doing right now. Stupid overgrown child. I decided to do the only smart thing I could: growl at him and walk away.

See? I could be mature too.

I sat down at a random table with Maggie in my lap, stroking her hair. She stirred after several minutes and rubbed her eyes.

"Hi, my precious girl. Did you sleep well?"

"Mommy, I was sleeping." My baby, always stating the obvious.

"You sure were, princess. It's almost time for the reception to start. Are you ready to party?"

"Party! Like a ball, Mommy? Grandpa promised a ball."

I laughed. "Yes, like a ball. A little bit."

She looked confused but didn't question me further. Rose took her to get some water and a sandwich to hold her over, while Alice brought me something stronger.

"I love you," I told her when she handed me a glass of wine.

She smiled. "Oh, honey, this is just the beginning. Cheers." She touched her glass to mine and saying 'fuck you' to any kind of wine etiquette, we downed half of them in one gulp. "I figured you would need that jump start on this evening."

"Definitely," I said, finishing the rest of my glass.

Not long after, guests started arriving. I went to find Maggie so we could sit down at the head table. She needed to eat something more substantial than a sandwich if she was going to last the whole evening without falling asleep again.

"Mommy," she said when I scooped her up. "Can I spend the night at Grandma and Grandpa's? Grandma says she misses making me blueberry pancakes and if I spend the night I can have some in the morning, and I really want some so can I, please?"

I laughed. "Whoa, slow down. Of course if Grandma asked you, it's fine, but I don't want you harassing her for pancakes, okay?"

"She asked. Really, Mommy, I promise." Her eyes were wide, begging me to believe her. I almost laughed because honestly she reminded me so much of Agnes from Despicable Me sometimes. Except her personality was more like Edith's. Definitely my daughter.

"Okay, baby, you can go."

She started clapping her hands. "Yay, I get pancakes!"

I had to thank my mom. She wasn't stupid. She knew it would be a huge relief to me if she took Maggie for the night. I couldn't drink like I used to anymore, and I was already feeling the one glass of wine I had. I would probably be drunk before dinner was over.

Once everyone was seated and plates were served, I relaxed, thrilled that the seating arrangement at the wedding party's table ensured that I was on the opposite end of it from Carlisle.

I grinned smugly when I caught him watching me, content that he couldn't actually talk to me without yelling across the table. His manners were too perfect for that.

As long as he didn't start passing notes I was safe.

The atmosphere in the room was lively with everyone talking and laughing. It was so loud I was surprised that Dad managed to get everyone's attention for his speech.

And in his typical fashion he talked for thirty seconds about how much he loved his baby girl and how he owned a gun.

Mom cried of course, and Carlisle… well, I didn't really pay attention. His bowtie was still undone.

"Mommy." Someone was poking me in the arm. "Mommy." Oh, right. Daughter. I tore my eyes away from Carlisle and looked down.

"Mommy, can I go dance with Uncle Emmett? He says I have to ask you, but he wants me to be his first dance."

What the hell? Since when had we finished eating and moved on to dancing?

"Of course, baby," I told her. She hopped out of her seat and took Emmett's hand. I watched with a smile as she stood on his shoes and he twirled them around the dance floor, not caring if anyone got in the way.

"You know, I've been back less than a week, and already I feel like that kid is the mayor. She has the whole town wrapped around her finger."

"Ugh, it's you. What do you want?"

I did my best to grimace as Carlisle lowered himself into the chair next to mine.

"Maybe I want a dance."

I couldn't help it. I burst into laughter. "Did all that charm you think you have ever really work on me? Damn, I was blind in my youth."

"No, that was because I'm hot. It's got nothing to do with charm."

"Cocky as ever," I said, taking a sip of my wine.

"You love my cock. Let's not pretend otherwise."

"Loved," I corrected him. "Don't delude yourself into thinking that's still the case."

He shrugged and sipped his champagne. "Come on," he said, taking my hand. "One dance won't kill you."

I tried to think of something witty to say, but thinking and drinking don't mix, and the way his hand felt over mine was doing funny things to my ovaries.

Dammit.

Carlisle 1; Esme 0.

He led to me to the outer edge of the floor, which I was grateful for because I knew my mom would cause some kind of fangirly scene if she saw us. She would never be able to contain her happiness.

His arm slid around my waist and pulled me so that I was flat up against him. Oh, so it was going to be like that, was it? Well, I could play dirty too. I was just the right height in these heels to lay my head on his shoulder.

I ran my finger down the skin behind his ear as he spun me around, and just when he shivered, I dragged my lips over the path my finger made as lightly as I could.

Bless these heels.

"Esme," he groaned. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" I smiled innocently even though he couldn't see.

"You know what you're doing," he said, inching his hand lower down my back. No way was I going to let that go. He wasn't going to win this fight.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled back to look him in the eye. "I'm not doing anything."

He leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I know you can feel what you're doing to me."

The way his arms were wrapped around my waist with mine around his neck, we could not possibly have been any closer, and he was absolutely right. I could feel every inch of him.

I felt like the room was spinning. That was probably half alcohol, half Carlisle at this point. All I really knew was that if I didn't push him away soon I was going to do something really stupid.

He wasn't letting go, though. He wasn't even pulling back any. He was just moving us slowly in a circle, with his arms looped tightly around my waist.

I hated how amazing it felt.

Nothing about him should have felt that good anymore.

I sighed, giving in, and rested my head on his shoulder. I should have warned him when he kissed the top of my head. I should have pushed him off me for being so intimate. Everything about this dance should have set off little alarm bells in my head. But all I could think about was how it felt to be in his arms again – like being home.

When the song ended I stumbled out of his arms.

"Sorry," I said. "I just need to step outside for a minute."

I walked as fast as I could to the door that led to the small hallway off our reception room, and thanked God no one was around to see me cry.

I sank to the floor, not even caring that my dress would be wrinkled and my makeup was probably a disaster, and this was my sister's wedding day and I shouldn't even be thinking about all my own drama right now.

All I could focus on was how Carlisle had blown back into my life and completely fucked it up, but I really didn't want it to go back to the way it was before.

I cried until I couldn't anymore, and then I just sat there with my head on my knees until I felt someone come up beside me and pull me into their arms.

"I hate you," I told him, clinging onto his arm, afraid he would leave if I didn't. "Sometimes I really hate you."

"I know," he said, and that made me hate him even more. Why couldn't he fight back? Why couldn't he just argue with me and be glib and sarcastic and tell me I didn't hate him? "I deserve it, Esme."

"Don't say things like that," I said.

"Why not?"

I roughly pushed him away, suddenly angry. He was too calm – too gentle – and this was a place we could not ever go again.

"Because you're still trying to underhandedly make decisions for me. I'm not some teenage girl promising to follow you anywhere, Carlisle. I grew up. I have my own life now. I don't want you anymore."

I gritted my teeth as I forced the last sentence out, trying to make him understand. This would not work, and I refused to go down this road again – no matter how much we both knew I was lying.

He released his grip on me and sat down Indian style so that we faced each other. I was glad for the loss of contact even though being in his arms still felt amazing, no matter the context. At least this way I could think clearly.

"What if I say I'm a total fuckup instead?" he asked with a smile.

I laughed and wiped some of the tears from my face. "That's a little more accurate, but it still doesn't change anything."

"No," he agreed. "It doesn't. But at least we can agree on something, huh?"

"I guess."

We looked like a bad prom scene from an eighties movie sitting on the floor in a dark hallway in black tie clothes. That thought almost made me laugh until I realized how I must have looked and groaned instead.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said. "Except that I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself, crying my eyes out over you when I should be celebrating my sister's wedding."

He nodded and reached out to rub my cheek. I leaned into his touch, unable to stop myself.

"We should get you cleaned up and rejoin the party." He held out his hand and lifted me off the floor, before disappearing into the men's room and bringing back a wet paper towel.

He gently wiped away the mascara that I was sure was all over my face. He cupped my cheek when he finished, rubbing my jaw with his thumb.

"If I know you, you're going to want to fix your makeup before going back out there so I'll see you in a few minutes, okay?"

I wanted to tell him to stop being so nice to me and that I could see exactly what he was doing and it wasn't going to work, but I couldn't. All I could do was nod and say thank you.

I watched him go before heading to the ladies room to make myself presentable again. I really didn't need half the town knowing how badly I had broken down.

It wasn't half as bad as I expected when I looked in the mirror. Carlisle had done a good job of cleaning me up. I hated that he had seen me like that, but it hadn't been the first time, and it had allowed for a tiny bit of progress between us. We had agreed to be civil when he first arrived - and we had been - but tonight it was like some of the negative emotions between us had finally been cleared away. I felt lighter than I had since I had first seen him again, and even though it wasn't perfect, at least some of the animosity was gone.

I finished cleaning myself up and breathed deeply before slipping back into the main reception hall, hoping no one had missed me.

Wrong.

I was immediately attacked by a small person who was calling me mommy and asking where I had been.

"Mommy didn't feel good, baby, so I just stepped outside for a minute. You didn't get into too much trouble while I was gone, did you?"

She shook her head a little too innocently. "Nuh-uh. I was just dancing with Uncle Jasper, but Mommy you missed cake, but it's okay because I made sure to save you some."

"You did? Well, aren't you perfect?"

She took my hand and led me to the main family table where sure enough there was a cupcake waiting for me along with another glass of wine. I hoped my daughter hadn't had a hand in that as well, but I suspected Alice.

I relaxed a little while having Maggie in my lap and a glass of wine in my hand, but my brain still couldn't stop turning over every strange moment of my exchange with Carlisle, from the dance we shared to our bizarre moment on the floor in the hall.

"Mommy, where's my BFF?" Maggie asked out of nowhere. I prayed she didn't mean Carlisle, but of course she did.

"I don't know, baby. Around here somewhere."

"I'm gonna find him." And just like that she took off into the crowd on the dance floor and showed up a few minutes later, dragging my worst nightmare behind her.

"Found him!" she said brightly, obviously pleased with herself, and having no idea about the number of gray hairs she was giving her poor mother.

He sat down beside her, an amused smile on his face. "She insisted I come sit with her," he said, sounding almost apologetic.

I instantly felt horrible about the way I had treated him. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel the need to apologize for being in my presence. But thanks to the miracle of children's short attention spans, Maggie caught none of what passed between us, and instead began pushing a cupcake on Carlisle telling him he missed cake too and needed to eat it.

I sighed in relief when Rose collapsed into a chair at the other end of the table and nodded for me to join her.

"Tell me you guys didn't have sex in the bathroom when you disappeared," she whispered.

I groaned. So much for hoping my little freak-out had gone undetected. "We definitely did not," I said.

"Damn. That would have been perfect."

I gaped at her. "Are you insane?"

"Not the last time I checked. But seriously, Esme, that probably would have done you both a world of good. Get all the anger out."

"For your information we managed to talk most of it out."

She gave me a skeptical look.

"Well, okay, I cried most of it out," I admitted, "But still... We did talk… A little."

Her eyebrows raised even further.

"Oh my God, Rose, the point is I think we're finally fine."

"And what about the other thing?" she pressed.

"Ugh, no. Not thinking about that. I can't. No, ma'am." I looked down the length of the table to where my child and my ex where now playing tic-tac-toe on a napkin. No, I absolutely could not go where Rose was trying to push me. Not yet. Not ever.

I got up to get another glass of wine and when I returned Rose was nowhere in sight, but Bella was at the table, brushing Maggie's hair off her face while her and Carlisle still played.

"Hey, sis," I said. "Where's Edward?"

"Around," she replied a little too quickly and with just a little too much looking from side to side suspiciously. Least stealthy person in the world. They were definitely up to something.

Bella took my hand and started walking me toward the DJ booth on the other side of the dance floor just as I heard Edward's voice over the microphone asking for the best man and maid of honor to come forward.

I had a moment of panic because I couldn't remember being asked to give a speech and frankly I was half past way too drunk for that. Somehow I ended up standing next to my brother-in-law, with Carlisle on the other side of him.

And then Bella took the microphone and started to speak and I wanted to die of embarrassment from being in the spotlight while drunk. I grinned, thinking I probably wouldn't remember this anyway.

"We just wanted to give a little toast of our own," Bella said. "You never realize until you're getting married just how much of the responsibility rests on the maid of honor and best man. But especially the maid of honor. Let's be honest, all Carlisle really had to do was get Edward here on time."

Everyone laughed. I felt the strange desire to point and laugh at him as well, but I had a feeling that wouldn't go over so well. I stuck with the safe option of continuing to stand there silently.

"Esme has taken so much of her time over the past year to help plan this wedding, and has made the whole process into one of the best years of my life. So for that Edward and I want to say thank you… to both of you," she added, "for being here for us always, but especially today, and for all that you both do for us. You guys are amazing."

Fuck, now I wanted to cry.

"A toast to our two best friends," Edward said. Everyone raised their glasses, and I was stunned to discover I was still holding my wine.

"Cheers to me," I whispered before downing half of it.

Edward snaked his arm through mine and whispered in my ear, "We haven't danced yet, and I'm not too sure you can stand on your own at this point."

"Hush, I'm fine."

He laughed. "No you're not. Carlisle told me what happened earlier."

"Of course he did. No way that was gonna stay private for long. Not with his big mouth."

"Esme, he just doesn't want you to hate him. He's not asking you to fall in love with him again, and he may not say it, but you hating him is killing him."

"Good," I said, not really sure why I felt that way.

Edward just shook his head. "I guess saying you have to be nice to him because he's my friend isn't going to work, is it?"

"No, it's not. First of all, we're not five, and second, I am being perfectly nice to him."

He laughed again. "You are too far gone, Esme. No more wine tonight, okay?"

"No way. It's a party, Edward. You're supposed to drink."

"You're gonna regret this tomorrow."

"No, I won't. You'll see."

He just shrugged. "If you say so. I'm getting Carlisle to drive you home, though. He's only had one drink all night."

I rolled my eyes. "See, this is why I need more. You can't get someone sensible to drive me around. It has to be him. The one person I don't want to be around." I slapped his chest. "Grr."

And of course he laughed again. "Grr? Really, Esme?"

"Don't make fun of me."

I was grateful when the song ended and Bella found us. All I wanted to do was get back to the table and cuddle my daughter. I found her sound asleep in a chair with her head on my mom's shoulder.

"We were just waiting for you," Mom said. "She passed out a little while ago, and I think it's time to get her home."

I nodded. "Thanks so much, Mom, for taking her."

She waved me off. "Nonsense. She's been raving all day about spending the night. She loves it, and anytime she wants to, you know she's always welcome."

I stroked my baby's hair and she mumbled in her sleep, making me smile. I hated the thought of waking her up, but I wanted to say goodnight. She was too adorable, though, and if I woke her up now she wouldn't want to leave and then she would just get cranky. I settled for kissing her forehead and whispering goodnight, before mom lifted her into her arms and told us all goodnight.

What I hadn't noticed until then was the look on Carlisle's face as he watched the whole exchange, and since I was apparently still determined to make an idiot out of myself I snapped at him.

"Can I help you with something?"

"Yes but now's probably not the right time for that."

I wanted to slap that amused grin off his face. I glared at him instead. "Cute, but not happening."

The rest of the night passed in a blur of two more glasses of wine, dancing with my friends, and trying to pretend Carlisle didn't exist. I did a damn good job of it until the party started to wind down as more and more people went home. Before I knew it only the bridal party was left, and the staff was already cleaning up.

"It's time to get you home," Carlisle whispered in my ear after I collapsed into a chair.

I jumped. "Holy shit, don't sneak up on me like that!"

He tried to take my hand, but I pushed him away. "I can walk. Just because my sister thinks I need a handler doesn't mean I do."

"I never thought you did," he said, backing away. "But still, you don't have your car here and even if you did there's no way anyone in this building would let you drive."

"I'm coming," I grumbled, walking ahead of him to say goodbye to my sister and brother-in-law.

They both hugged me and thanked me for everything and then Bella whispered in my ear not to do anything stupid. I had a feeling she meant something like have sex with the insanely gorgeous man who was driving me home, but then again she nominated him for that task so maybe she meant the opposite. Hell if I knew, and I didn't really care. I just wanted my bed and some water at this point.

The car ride wasn't very long because it only takes ten seconds to get everywhere in Forks, and when we got to the house I didn't even protest when he put his arm around me for support. Alcohol plus porch steps usually equals an unavoidable crash with the ground.

Once we were inside I collapsed onto the couch, not even caring where Carlisle was or what he was doing until he showed up beside me with a glass of orange juice and became my hero.

"You are amazing," I told him.

"You need to have water too, but we'll start with this."

"Thank you," I said. "For bringing me home. You didn't have to do that."

Now that I was here in my own living room in almost total darkness with this man, I couldn't act like the hardened woman who wouldn't stop pushing him away. I didn't have that in me right now. I wasn't too enthusiastic about appearing so vulnerable, letting him see the real me for the first time in years, but it felt good too. Necessary.

"Actually I did," he said. "Remember?"

I curled up on the couch facing him, and brought my knees up to my chin, trying to protect myself as best I could since I had taken all my armor down.

"Why do you insist on taking care of me?" I asked.

"Because I care about you."

The look in his eyes made me squirm and I really wish he'd stop saying that.

"Haven't we been over this recently?" I asked with a bit more sarcasm than I was originally going for.

He grinned. "Yes we have, but that's the honest answer."

"Well, I still say you shouldn't, but I can't stop you or anything."

He stared at me for a long time as I sipped my orange juice. I was starting to wonder if he was going to say anything else or just watch me until I passed out. Honestly that thought was a little creepy.

When he finally spoke it was a whisper and my heart nearly broke from the pained sound of his voice. "Esme, why do you always push me away?"

"I don't," I defended, knowing it was a lie and knowing he knew it too.

"You have since we were kids. I was always the one chasing you."

I opened my mouth to retort but he put his hand up to stop me. "I'm not saying I ever doubted you. I never did. Not for a second. I know you loved me, Esme. It just wasn't enough, was it?"

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. He moved closer and brushed his thumb across my jaw. "Why were you so afraid of loving me?"

"I don't know," I whispered, tears blurring my vision.

He leaned closer and waited, silently asking permission. I nodded and when his lips brushed mine all I wanted to do was wrap myself around him and show him everything I had never properly been able to say. His hand cupped my cheek when I opened my mouth, allowing him to kiss me fully, and I felt the tears behind my eyelids threatening to spill over.

I grabbed his waist to pull him closer until I was almost in his lap, never breaking the kiss once. I was drowning in him and never wanted to come up for air again.

Carlisle broke the kiss first. "Esme," he whispered, his voice rough and broken and the most beautiful sound in the world. "We shouldn't."

I didn't want to listen to him. I wanted to pull him down so his body covered mine and make him forget he ever said anything. The look in his eyes stopped me, though. Even as far gone as I was I could see it. I had broken him so fully that I doubted he'd ever trust me again.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I just can't."

I nodded in understanding.

"We should probably get you to bed."

I said nothing as he lifted me into his arms and carried me down the hall. He pulled back the blankets and placed me on the mattress, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

"I'll be on the couch. Try to get some sleep, Esme. Please."

I nodded, not trusting my voice. It wasn't until I heard the door click shut behind him that I allowed myself to bury my head in the pillow and cry.

The next chapter is halfway written so now that my life has calmed down updates will be back to normal. I promise.