CHAPTER THREE
It took me ages to get back to Shoreditch – all of the trains were delayed, on account of the world almost ending – and it was past noon by the time I made it back to the park where the TARDIS had crashed. Adrenaline pumped through my bloodstreams as my boots crunched over the frosty grass in the park, and there was a fear, a small one, at the back of my skull.
What if the Doctor had already left? He could've just been lying to me to be nice… I doubted my theory, but still. He might've left.
I turned the final corner and saw the blue box sat upright, glistening with what looked like a new coat of paint. Leaning on the doors, wearing a tweed jacket and an actual bow tie, was him.
"You took your time," the Doctor said, greeting me with a grin. "Thought I'd have to get UNIT to send out a search warrant."
"How'd you get here so quick?" I asked, panting heavily. I'd ran the entire way, whenever I wasn't on the train… which wasn't much, I'll admit. "Is that another Time Lord ability? You can make an hour long journey in half that?"
He shrugged at the question. "I have my ways, Erin. Also, you should be glad to know that the Shadow Proclamation have fired the Atraxi. Zero wasn't the only prisoner who escaped, apparently, and the Shadow Proclamation wasn't too happy about that. The giant eyeballs are now outcasts of galactic society."
"Is that a good thing?" I was less happy about the situation than he was. "I mean, the Atraxi weren't to blame for their prison getting broken into. What was that fracture thing Zero mentioned anyway?"
"Something troubling," the Doctor admitted. "I've seen gaps like he described before – gone through them, in fact. But the Atraxi prison wasn't inside the Void, it was just inside another dimension like the TARDIS. I don't know what's causing it but, whatever it is, it isn't good."
"I figured." I stepped closer. "Speaking of the TARDIS, is this it, then?"
"'Is this it, then'," he mocked, smoothing a hand over the blue wooden door. "Don't listen to her, you're beautiful."
"It's just a box," I said. "Does it really hold all of that stuff you mentioned? A… a library and a swimming pool?"
"Or a library with a swimming pool," the Doctor wagged a finger at me. "Like I said, the TARDIS contains a different dimension inside. Have a look."
At his words, he snapped two of his fingers together and the doors swung open, inwards. The clear invitation made me take a few, hesitant steps inside. Almost immediately after I'd placed a foot inside, I backed out again.
"That's impossible," I gasped.
"Is it?" The Doctor questioned, softly. "Think of all the things you've witnessed since we first met, Erin. Is a blue box that's bigger on the inside really that far out of your comfort zone?"
He had a point, I had to admit. So, I summoned my courage and walked back inside; the room glowed with golden light, larger than my entire flat. In the centre was a glass podium, set up a bit higher than everything else, where there was an alien console with a column rising up in the middle.
"It's wonderful," I breathed out. "Oh, it's amazing."
"Welcome to the TARDIS," the Doctor announced with a shout, bounding past me and up the stairs. "It stands for 'Time and Relative Dimension in Space'. It's mine."
"Do you own her?" I slowly climbed up the glass steps to reach him, running my hands over everything within reach. "Or did you borrow her like the bike?"
"I always intended to give her back," he said.
I scoffed. "And the clothes? Where'd you get the braces from?"
"The hospital where I met the Atraxi," the Doctor answered. He twanged on the aforementioned braces, looking at them with affection. "Don't I look cool?"
"You ransacked some random locker room at a hospital and you come away with a bow tie, of all things?" I shook my head. "You definitely are alien."
"Bow ties are cool," he said. "And none of this is important anyhow. You, Erin Wilson, have all of time and space at your fingertips. Pick anywhere in creation to go, and you'll be there in five minutes."
Even though I'd gone along with everything else, I found this hard to believe. "Anywhere in creation?"
The Doctor nodded eagerly. "Start of the universe, end of the universe, boring middle part of the universe. The creation of the Milky Way. The death of the Milky Way. You pick it. I'll take you."
"Wow," I paced up and down on the spot. "There's so many places I want to- the Library of Alexandria! The pyramids when they were new! China before the Great Wall! The Babylonian empire! America when it was still a free country… oh, I can't possibly pick."
"And that's just the past," the Doctor said, watching me with a big smile on his face. "Think of it. All of the places you're considering, they're before the year 2016. I can take you into the future."
That was the moment my head just sort of… exploded.
"I can't pick," I told him, walking around the console so we were stood face-to-face. "There- there's just so much out there. It'd take forever to even choose."
The smile that was on his face, already massive to begin with, only grew at my words. "Okay. Forward, or back?"
"… forward," I said, after a moment.
"Spaceship or planet? Or neither?"
An actual spaceship, oh- "The first one."
"Any aliens?" This question was accompanied by a waggle of his practically non-existent eyebrows.
"You're more than enough alien for me," I told him. "So, where have you picked?"
All I got was a mysterious smile. The Doctor left my side, pulling and flicking things on the console in a random pattern. I trailed after him the entire time, poking at his side.
"Doctor, tell me."
"It's a surprise," he said. A great wheezing sound filled the console room, causing me to look up in surprise. "Don't worry, that's normal."
"It's a very unique sound," I said, diplomatically. "You wouldn't miss it in a crowd."
That was when our ride turned jumpy; the floor rolled beneath our feet like we were on an actual ship at sea, throwing me around. I had to hang onto the railing surrounding the console for dear life – but the Doctor… the Doctor ignored it, jumping across the small glass platform like a kangaroo on drugs.
At one point, he stopped at my side. "Oh, it's just like I remember it!"
"This is normal?!" I had to scream my words so that he'd hear them over the vworps of the TARDIS.
"Perfectly," the Doctor replied. "Oh, new me, new TARDIS, new companion, new sonic – this day couldn't get any better!"
"New sonic?" I didn't recall the Doctor breaking his sonic screwdriver at all. "What happened?"
He paused on the other side of the console, hands splayed out across the controls but not touching them. I could see his face, through a gap in the main column, and whatever was there made me uneasy; that wasn't the look of a man being trustworthy.
"I had a bit of trouble with the Atraxi," he said, after a second. "It got fried – the TARDIS gave me a new one." The Doctor demonstrated this by pulling the sonic out and whizzing it at me; it was larger, silver and gold in colour with four claws protecting the light, which was green instead of blue. "I like it."
"It's nice," I told him, still a bit disconcerted that he'd so openly lied to me. Had he thought I wouldn't notice?
The TARDIS settled with a jolt that sent me flying a bit, so I caught myself on the console.
"Have we landed?" I eagerly asked.
The Doctor nodded his head rapidly, gesturing to the door like a master chef would do to a freshly prepared meal. "Erin Wilson, there's a spaceship out there waiting for you."
"There's a spaceship in here, too," as I said this, I walked to the doors. It was such an impossible moment – to walk out onto an actual spaceship, in space, filled with space-y stuff…
What I opened the doors to see was, in fact, not a spaceship. In fact, it was space itself.
"Oh," I gasped, realising that I was stood amongst stars and galaxies and planets. None of those things were in my immediate sight, of course; only a giant grey spaceship, run-down and battered, slowly moved across the empty blackness of space. On its side was painted a great big Union Flag.
"Starship UK," the Doctor softly explained, having moved to my side at some point in all my wonder. "See, in the 29th century, solar flares roast the planet. Virtually makes it so that the human race has to pack up all their bags and migrate to the stars. That's what this ship is; the entire country of the United Kingdom, migrated to the stars."
"29th century," I repeated. "That's eight hundred years away for me. I must be… oh, I don't want to even think of how old I am now."
"That's a good method to things," he said. "Want to go down and see?"
"And get in trouble?" I nudged my shoulder into his.
"Ah, no." The Doctor shook his head as he walked back to the main console. I shut the doors and followed him, barely a step behind him. "I never get involved with the affairs of the places I visit."
"If I had water in my mouth, I'd have spat it out." Staring incredulously at him, I had to wonder if he was just pulling my leg. "Have you forgotten the alien invasion we stopped an hour ago?"
He waved off my words. "That was different. The Atraxi were breaking the law."
"So, what, we see a guy get murdered and we just… let history take its toll?" My head was reeling trying to make sense of everything. "Because, even though this is my future, it's still history. It just hasn't happened yet for me."
"Clever Erin," the Doctor remarked. It was becoming something of a catchphrase for him. "Also, we always use the scanner before we leave the TARDIS. Don't want to step into a volcano – again."
The 'scanner' was an old TV with radio dials beneath, suspended on a little rail that could go all around the console. It was stamped with the logo of Magpie Electricals, a company I vaguely recalled. Whatever was there made the Doctor frown; he looked older immediately.
"What is it?" I asked, at his side.
He wordlessly gestured to the screen, which showed a little girl – no older than six or seven – sat crying on a red bench. People passed by her, uncaring.
"Why isn't anyone doing anything?" I wondered. "She's obviously upset, Doctor- Doctor!" My calling of his name ended on a high point when I realised that the Doctor was on the scanner, sat comforting the little girl. He looked at the camera and waved to me; the cheeky sod probably knew I was watching.
Of course, saying that 'there's a spaceship out there' is a lot different to actually being on a spaceship. From the second I step foot on Starship UK, I became acutely aware of how different everything was… but also how similar it was.
I saw the Doctor with the girl at the far end of a large market place, where people were flogging their goods. It felt a bit like I was on Eastenders, what with the replica of the Queen Victoria near the fruit and veg stall. Lights were strung from the ceiling and people rode around on bicycles, which I found to be odd. They all looked so human.
"Erin!" The Doctor called. "I want to introduce you to someone!"
Weaving my way though the crowd of people was easy – British people didn't lose their sense of politeness, it seemed – and when I reached the Doctor and the little girl only a minute had passed.
"Hello," I said, sitting down on the other side of her. She looked up at me, eyes reddened by tears, and I felt my heartstrings be pulled rather viciously. "I'm Erin, though the Doctor probably already told you."
"Mandy," the girl introduced herself as, a bit snottily. Not in a bad way, but more of a 'my nose is all blocked up from crying' way. I could relate. "The Doctor said you were nice."
I glanced at him, slightly surprised, but took it in my stride. "Well, the Doctor only says that because he's hiding how nice he is. He saw that you were upset when no one else did."
"Oh, they realise," the Doctor corrected me. There was a scathing tone to his voice. "They just don't want to notice it. Look at them, parents, grandparents, looking at a crying child and not doing anything. Only one reason why they'd do that."
"They can't do anything," Mandy told him. "No one can. Not even the Queen."
"Britain still has a monarchy?" I asked, a bit surprised.
The Doctor shushed me. "Mandy, why can't they do anything? You're crying silently, any parent knows that means you just can't stop crying. What's wrong?"
"It's- I can't say anything!" She said this in a fierce whisper, eyes pointing in terror at a nearby booth. I hadn't paid it any attention earlier but now that I actually looked, I noticed something… off. Everything else on the starship was dirty, fixed up, but those booths were spotless. Inside the booths were these men… robots, surely, with a fixed smile upon their face.
"Creepy," I said, in an undertone. "Definitely creepy."
"What are they?" The Doctor asked. I saw how he'd pulled his sonic out and was covertly scanning the booth.
"Smilers," answered Mandy. "They're sort of… they do everything we can't do, but they watch over us. There's one wherever you look. In every house, vator, shop." Her voice went very quiet. "Schools, too."
"Guards," the Doctor explained to me. "To watch over the populace and to make sure no one discusses anything they shouldn't. Effectively, they're the foot soldiers of a police state."
I reached over Mandy to slap him on the arm. "The United Kingdom turns into a police state?"
"Look at this place, Erin," he implored. "Nothing makes sense when you take a good, deep look."
At these words, both Mandy and I looked around; there was nothing there I hadn't seen before. The dirty, run-down buildings, the scurrying of those too fearful to meet a gaze, the unnatural stillness of it all… my eyes fixed on a glass of water on a table at a café, where the water rested perfectly in the cup.
"We're on a spaceship?" I asked, for confirmation.
"Starship UK," Mandy said. "The combined countries of England, Wales and Northern Ireland all on one ship. We have to do history lessons about what it was like back on Earth. Dead boring."
I stood up, still focused on the water. "We're on a spaceship, with an engine?"
"Now you're getting it," he murmured, approvingly. Then the Doctor tapped on Mandy's shoulder. "I said 'clever Erin' too, didn't I?"
"I don't get it," Mandy said. "What's so important about an engine? Every spaceship has one."
"Yes, they do." I turned back to the little girl, crouching down so that we were eye-to-eye. "But you see, Mandy, what did your teacher tell you about engines?"
She frowned at the question. "They power things, make us go faster. Without an engine, the ship would fall apart and we'd all die."
"And can you feel an engine when aboard a ship?" The Doctor's tone was very kind, very gentle. I'd never heard him speak like that before. When Mandy nodded, a bit shy, he continued; "Then why can't you feel any vibrations?"
We all froze as she made the connection.
"That's impossible," Mandy whispered. "We need an engine to survive."
"And yet, Starship UK doesn't have one." I stroked down Mandy's hair, surprised to see that the Doctor was doing it too on the other side of her face. "Sorry to bring this all on you."
"I know what happened to him now," she said. "He must've figured it out, or – or done something to anger the Smilers and they sent him below."
"Below?" The Doctor's voice turned very sharp. "Who'd they send below, Mandy?"
Mandy let out a tiny sob. "Timmy. I was waiting for him here and his vator went to floor zero. No one goes to floor zero unless they're getting sent below."
"That sounds cheery," I muttered. "And is Timmy the same age as you?"
At her teary nod, the Doctor and I shared a dark glance.
"Go head off to home," the Doctor said, patting her on the back. "Erin will take you."
"I will?" I asked, with surprise.
The Doctor fidgeted on the chair for a second, torn between explaining himself and simply sending us on our way. Eventually, he nudged Mandy and whispered; "Go wait by the vator for her."
I watched Mandy walk away with a slouch to her shoulders, feeling great sympathy for the little girl. "Poor thing," I murmured. "How can they all just watch her cry and do nothing?"
"Especially the parents," the Doctor replied. "Any good parent knows that when a child cries silently it's because they just can't stop."
"Are you-" I stopped myself before the question could fully escape me. He'd already said that when he lost his people, he lost his entire family. The Doctor was almost a thousand years old – it was entirely plausible that he could have had children. It made me want to cry for him.
The Doctor had stilled at my half-formed question, obviously knowing where it would've led. He stared at me out of the corner of his eye, nervously licking his lips as he waited to see if I'd finish my sentence.
In all honesty, I was more focused on his lips; he noticed that, a cocky grin emerging. "Shut up," I said, flustered, before he could say anything about it. "Why should I go with Mandy?"
"She's figured out the truth," the Doctor explained, still smirking. "That puts her at risk. Besides, I need you to investigate those Smilers more; they're everywhere, watch over everything, but why?"
"And what will you be doing?" I stood, cocking out my hip. His eyes seemed distracted by that, and I let out a little smirk of my own. I wasn't the only one feeling attraction, it seemed. "Helping more crying children?"
"It's the main reason why I do what I do," he said. There was no humour to his words, no hidden sarcasm, only honest, genuine truth. He was a million in one, not just because he was an alien with two hearts but also because he was a good man.
And, I suspected, he was also once a good father.
I nodded silently and caught up to where Mandy was waiting at the vator; her eyes were still red-ringed, with her shoulders straighter than they were before. She looked determined.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"They'll pay for what they did to Timmy," she told me, confidently. I believed her.
The 'vator' was literally just a lift with a Smiler watching us, the floors quickly whizzing past as we climbed up through England. It all felt weird in a way that I'd quickly grown used to; it felt like spending two weeks abroad. At first, everything was new and unusual and you couldn't figure it out. Then you click onto the way things are, and suddenly it's like you were born to travel.
I never thought that year I spent backpacking around the world would be good for anything – neither did my parents – but now I was glad for it.
We exited the vator together, one of my arms wrapping itself around Mandy's shoulders. The street we were on was dark and unused, the unmistakable air of danger coating the atmosphere.
Suddenly, Mandy stopped walking.
"We have to go back," she said.
"What? Why?" Looking ahead, I saw a yellow striped tent in the middle of the road, blocking the route. "What is that?"
"It's a hole in the road," Mandy explained. "We can't go that way – we'll have to turn around."
"A hole?" I didn't know much about how spaceships were made - only that they needed an engine and thus the one we were standing on was impossible - but even impossible starships didn't get potholes. I approached the tent and found the entrance locked by one of those big padlocks; everything on this ship looked like it came from the '8os, I swear.
The padlock stared up at me innocently, as if it wasn't aware of the turmoil currently raging inside my mind. I should go back, make sure Mandy was taken to safety, but the mystery was too tempting.
Lockpicking was a skill that had come in handy as a teenager that loved to sneak out and was often grounded as a result. I'd learned it when I was nineteen, taught over a series of weekends of the summer holidays by an American man who'd taken a special shine to me at one of my many visits to the Royal Art Gallery.
I took a pin from my hair and set to work on the lock, rooting around inside.
"What are you doing?" Mandy demanded. "You'll make the Smilers mad."
"I think they're already upset with me," I quipped. "I can't make things much worse."
Mandy quietly watched me work for several moments, chewing on her bottom lip.
"How'd you and your boyfriend get here, anyway?"
"He isn't my boyfriend," was how I chose to start my sentence. She scoffed quietly behind me and I swivelled my head around to raise an eyebrow at her. "What?"
"The Doctor doesn't talk like a friend would," she said. "He kept calling you 'lovely' and 'smart'."
"He does that," I defended. "And, to get back to the original point, he brought me here on a trip. He's got this ship and- it can go all over. I helped him with something and he asked me to travel with him."
"Is that smart? My mums say never travel with a stranger."
I gave a gentle laugh. "He wouldn't abandon me. He isn't like that." The lock clicked open and my laugh turned into one of victory. "Result! I knew I hadn't lost my mad skills."
Mandy let out a disgusted groan. "You're so old."
That statement was more truthful than she could ever know and it gave me a moment of reflection as I stood up and opened the flap to the tent. The Doctor was nine centuries old; was this how he felt?
"You coming?" I gestured inside the empty tent.
She looked conflicted for a moment before rapidly shaking her head. "I- I need to get home. Tell my parents about everything. 'Sides, those things are everywhere. There's nothing special about them."
"Suit yourself," I said. "Just be careful on your way back, yeah?"
Mandy nodded and set off walking. I waited until she turned the corner before ducking inside; it was pitch black and I could barely see five inches in front of my face. There was a gentle breeze, though, and when I reached out to try and feel my way in the room, my fingertips felt something smooth and slick, rising up out of the ground. It almost felt like a snake.
I rummaged around in my back pocket for my keyring, fumbling for the mini-torch I kept on it. Turning it on, I first saw the tarmac of the street and the yellow walls surrounding me.
Then I saw what my hand was touching; a tentacle rose up from the centre of a hole, a claw on the end, and as my fingers accidentally stroked the ribbed spine of the tentacle, a vibration came up through the scales – like the creature was purring.
Stepping a bit closer, I murmured; "What are you?"
Perhaps it was a response to my question, or pure coincidence, but as I moved closer to the creature a terrible scream ripped into my mind – it was everywhere, coating every thought and memory I had, making my heart burst with pain. I staggered backwards, escaping the tent and the horror inside, and fell onto the floor outside.
Panting for several seconds, my mind was mostly focused on the echoes of the scream – it had been the creature, I was certain of it, but how had I heard it?
Looking up, what I saw next made my heart freeze; I was surrounding by a circle of men all wearing hooded black robes and the one in front – a black man with vacant looking eyes – raised a closed fist. On his centre finger was a ring, a green jewel, and I blinked at it as a little spurt of gas came out and hit me right in the face.
I was asleep in moments.
I came to in a chair. My hands weren't strapped down and my body felt physically fine, if a little sluggish from the drug. It was my head that was the problem; all I could remember was the creature's pure scream of terror in the dark.
Looking around, I saw that there wasn't much to the room that I was in; it was bare, nothing more than the chair I was sat in and a set of four screens on a cabinet in front of me. Directly beneath the screens were three buttons, one labelled 'Forget' and the other 'Protest', with a larger 'Record'.
I thought it all rather sinister even before I spotted the Smiler watching me. Then I became doubly so scared.
"Welcome to voting cubicle 330C," down floated a voice from speakers attached to the walls. "Please leave this installation as you would wish to find it. The United Kingdom recognises the right to know all of its citizens. A presentation concerning the history of Starship UK will begin shortly. Your identity is being verified on our electoral roll. Name; Erin Wilson. Age; thirteen hundred and eight."
Well, that certainly didn't make me feel any better. Then the computer continued on;
"Marital status; married."
My brain sort of fritzed out; I got married? To who? When? Was this after I stopped travelling with the Doctor or... during? Did he know?
A man appeared on-screen, old and withered with half-moon spectacles.
"You are here because you want to know the truth about this starship and I am talking to you because you are entitled to know. When this presentation is finished, you will have a choice; you may either protest-" The button flashed red at his words. "Or forget." This button flashed green. It was hard not to notice the symbolism. "If you chose to protest, understand this; if just one percent of the population of this ship to likewise, the programme will be discontinued with consequences for you all. If you chose to accept the situation, and we hope that you will, then press the 'Forget' button. All the information I'm about to give you will be erased from your memory. You will continue to enjoy the safety and amenities of Starship UK, unburdened by the knowledge of what has been done to save you. Here then, is the truth about Starship UK and the price that has been paid for the safety of the British people." He paused. "May God have mercy on our souls."
It was a ransom, basically; agree with our methods and everything will be fine. Disagree and you'll ruin everything.
The presentation began to play, flicking by with such speed that the information had barely registered in my mind before it was over -
Stars- burning – children crying – terrible truth – we did what we had to.
And my hand slammed down on the 'Protest' button.
A gasp left my mouth, tears beginning to stream down my face. I – I couldn't even remember why I'd hit the button, everything was a blur, but the scream came back louder than it had ever been and I knew I'd made the right decision.
The Smiler behind me began to click and I knew without looking that it had moved; when I glanced behind me, it was... snarling at me – a robotic face that was genuinely scary.
A rumble beneath my feet made me jump up and notice that the entire room was shaking, sending me flying into the corner of the wall. The door banged and at first I thought it was just the room, but then I heard something else behind it; an electronic whirring.
Sonic.
"Doctor!" I screeched, throwing myself at the metal gate and slamming my fists against it. "Doctor!"
And then, by the luck of the gods, I heard his angelic voice; "ERIN!"
"Doctor, you have to get me out of here!" I wobbled, feet suddenly unsteady, and realised that the floor was moving beneath me; it was sliding from the other side of the room, revealing a deep red chasm beneath. "Doctor, the floor's opening up!"
"Just hold on!" He called.
"There's nothing to hold onto!" I scrambled against the door, trying desperately to grab ahold of something, scratching against the metal.
"Don't worry, I'll-"
The floor had now almost completely gone, only two or three feet left before my fall from life and I screamed – not in terror, but in pain. My mind was racked with the scream again, higher in intensity than before. I realised, with an epiphany that I couldn't explain, that wherever this fall led to would be the home of the creature.
I'd- I don't know why, but I felt like I'd be safe there. Certainly safer than being trapped inside this room, with the Scowler glaring at me from his booth.
I took a deep gulp, filled with confidence, and spoke loudly to the Doctor; "I'll be fine. Just find me. I'll be down below."
"ERIN!"
Falling with a screech, my arms were tucked into my body as I stretched out. The square room eventually narrowed into a tube and I actually felt excited - this was more like a really high-tech water park - until I landed with a wet squelch.
There was around a foot of- not water, I'd say, as it was too clouded with food refuse. Everything around me looked like rubbish and I felt like I'd fallen into a Star Wars movie when I wasn't looking. Glancing around, I guessed that I was in some kind of waste disposal, with several metal tubes delivering the rubbish - which I was part of, I guess.
My self-confidence had really taken a nose dive since I'd landed on this bloody spaceship, and now being covered in the gunk wasn't helping that.
Still, the room I was in was practically a cavern; I flicked my pathetic little torch on but it didn't even light up the roof. The floor was squishy and spongy beneath me, causing me to bounce several times to try and figure out what it was made of.
I glanced around for a few minutes, trying to spot a way out; there was only the empty darkness, occasionally broke up by the glint of a metal tube. I noticed that all of the food was organic - stuff that even I could eat, had it not been covered in disgusting gunk. It almost smelled like saliva which was, y'know, just impossible.
Eventually, I'd calmed down enough to spot something hanging down from the far-away ceiling; I pointed my flashlight at it, frowning deeply. It looked... pink. And round. Almost like...
"Tonsils..." I whispered aloud, before immediately carrying on with; "No. Don't be – no."
I turned on my heel and looked down to the other side of the mou- no. No. It couldn't be. Just no. It was ridiculous.
"Okay," I said to myself. "Imagine that the Doctor was here. What would he do?" I considered it for a moment and then put on an accent that didn't resemble his whatsoever and waved my hands around as I spoke; "Wow, this is all so cool! Lovely Erin, what do you think?"
I laughed quietly to myself.
"I'm so funny."
Suddenly, a whooshing sound hit my ears from the nearest metal tube; I watched, amazed, as a man came flying out of it and hit the tong- the floor with some speed. He jumped up afterwards, usually floppy hair plastered to his head with the gunk and inspected the immediate view in front of him.
Then, after only a few seconds, he announced; "This is so cool!"
"Doctor!" I yelled, grabbing his attention. He turned and his face lit up upon seeing me, though I didn't get the chance to stare at him for long; I took a short running jump into his arms and we collapsed onto the floor, bodies entwined tightly.
He was half-sat up, to avoid choking on the water, and had buried his face into my neck. I could feel the quick puffs of breath and it, honestly, sent shivers down my spine.
"I was so worried!" The Doctor confessed, patting down my hair and shoulders as he moved back. I beamed down at him and wiped the gross food from his cheeks. "What happened?"
"A lot," I began, with a sigh. Slowly, I explained the mad tale that had taken me from the tentacle-creature with the silent screaming to my current predicament. "And that's the thing, Doctor, I don't think this room is a room."
"It looks like a cave," he admitted. "Can't be a cave, though. I mean, we've travelled six hundred feet down, twenty miles laterally, puts us at the heart of the ship. Lancashire, maybe?"
I swatted his arm. "Don't be rude."
We stood up together, clinging on tight so we wouldn't slip or fall over. The water sloshed around our knees, causing the Doctor to wring his nose.
"All organic, coming through feeder tubes from all over the ship. Ah." He was slowly coming to the same conclusion that I, reluctantly, had. "But what's it feeding? Your mystery creature?"
There was a rumble beneath our feet that caused me to jump, bouncing on the rubbery surface when I landed again. "Doctor, I think we need to come up with something fast."
"'This room isn't a room'," the Doctor repeated, holding my gaze. "Why'd you say that?"
I sent him a dry look and pointed my flashlight at the tonsils. "Because look at them."
"I... see." He turned to fully face the tonsils, inspecting them with a narrow slant of his forehead. Then he bounced on the floor, once, and stopped moving altogether. He didn't even breathe, which led me to silently begin wondering if he needed to breathe and, if so, how long could he hold his breath for?
Priorities, Erin.
"Not a room," the Doctor said, rather slowly. "Not a floor, either. A- it's – it's a-"
He seemed to have some difficulty getting the final words out, so I finished the sentence for him; "Tongue. It's a bloody tongue."
"A tongue," the Doctor repeated. He sounded stupidly giddy. "A great, big, bloody tongue!"
"We're in a giant mouth," I realised. I'd figured it out earlier but had been steadily pretending I hadn't. I missed the ignorance of it all. "This entire cavern is a mouth?"
"On the plus side, roomy."
I could've slapped him for thinking that there even was a 'plus side' to this entire horrible experience; had I really thought falling down here was such a good idea? I was a moron.
"Doctor," I snapped my fingers to grab his attention. "How do we get out?"
"How big is this beastie?" The Doctor asked, mentally wandering off some. "It's gorgeous. Blimey, if this is just the mouth, then I'd love to see the stomach. Though, not right now."
"Great, big, bloody mouth; any advice on how to escape that?"
"Some," he admitted. "None of it concrete, yet. Might get us killed."
"Because everything else was so safe," I quipped.
The Doctor smirked at my words, appreciating the levity I brought to the situation. It was mostly there so I didn't start panicking. "If it's being fed through surgically implanted feeder tubes, the normal entrance is closed for business."
He grabbed the flashlight from my hand and whizzed at it with the sonic; when he turned it on again, it was three times as brighter than it had been before. The Doctor demonstrated this by pointing it at the far end of the room; I took a horrified gasp as several sharp rows of teeth glinted at us.
"Oh, that's disgusting," I muttered. "But also kind of fascinating."
"Really?" Asked the Doctor, with a raised eyebrow. "How does that fascinate you?"
I swear to God, I'm not lying when I say there was something genuinely flirtatious to his tone there.
"Well, I mean, uh," a flirty Doctor was not something I had prepared for. "It's evolution? Look at the size of this thing; there's nothing as big as this on Earth that's actually alive. It's amazing. I wonder where it comes from, which planet had enough oxygen to let a creature be this gigantic."
From the Doctor's pride-filled smile, I figured I'd given the right answer.
"Er," I was eager to distract myself from his smile (it made him look boyishly handsome). "Why can't we use the normal exit?"
I took a step forwards, ready to leave him behind, when the Doctor grabbed my arm and spun me back around so I was pressed tight against his chest.
This was not helping matters.
"Stop," he ordered in a quiet mumble "Don't move."
I was about to question why when the floor- the tongue beneath us vibrated, violently knocking me so that the Doctor's arm, curved around my waist, was the only thing keeping me held up.
Our gazes met, equal parts unnerved by the sudden turn of events.
"Too late," he said. "It's started."
"What has?" I asked, straightening up. He didn't drop the arm and I didn't feel confident enough to ask that he would.
"Swallow reflex," the Doctor told me, almost absently. He stepped away, causing me to let out an almost minuscule sigh of relief (which he no doubt noticed. There was no way he wouldn't, he's the Doctor), and began buzzing the sonic at the roof of the mouth.
"What are you doing?" The vibrations beneath our feet were only getting stronger, causing me to panic.
"I'm vibrating the chemo-receptors."
I knew next to nothing about science, but even I knew that was a load of rubbish.
"You just made that up," I accused.
The Doctor sighed, glaring at me out of the corner of his eye. "I'm pressing the eject button."
"A mouth doesn't have an eject button," I said.
"Think about it!" He insisted.
I did think about it – and was promptly disgusted. He- he wouldn't. There had to be another solution. I looked behind me, back at the tonsils, and saw a huge wave of a putrid yellow colour. A smell radiated from it that made me want to be sick.
"Oh no," I pushed at his arm. "No, no, no, NO!"
"This isn't going to be big on dignity," the Doctor said. He showed of a manic grin; he probably loved this. "GERONIMO!"
I awoke with the Doctor's hands all over me – a sentence that I never thought I'd say. He wasn't grabbing a feel, which I doubted he ever would under any circumstance, but was rather methodical in where he touched me.
"There's nothing broken," he assured me. "No sign of concussion and, yes, you are covered in sick."
"Oh, god," I moaned, once the stench hit me. "This is worse than babysitting Coop when he was a baby."
"'Coop'?"
"My, er, brother," I hastily explained. "Where are we, anyway?"
"Overspill pipe," the Doctor waved around at the narrow metal corridor. "I'm guessing we're not the first live food beastie's spat out over the years."
"It stinks," I said, wrinkling my nose.
"That isn't the pipe," he quietly said.
I slowly digested his words and glanced down at my clothing; I'd put these clothes on this morning, when I showered after spending the night watching over the Doctor. That seemed like a lifetime ago.
They really stunk right now.
"Can we get out?" I asked him; he'd obviously scoped the place out whilst I was out cold.
"One door," the Doctor gestured behind him. "One switch, one condition. We forget everything we saw. Look familiar?"
I pushed past him to investigate: there was another button here, like the one at the voting station earlier. The word 'Forget' loomed up at me, deceptively innocent. "I didn't press it then, so I won't press it now."
"Do you even remember what they wanted you to forget?" The Doctor's tone had a polite layer to it, which I didn't trust. It was like he was fishing for information. "You aren't acting like it."
"It was all really quick," I lamely explained. "I- I remember feeling... sad. Really, properly sad, like when you told me about your people being gone. It was... it was just-"
To my complete and utter horror, tears sprang to my eyes. I thought of the scream, still echoing in the back of my mind.
"It was painful," I said. "It was like torture."
The Doctor rested a hand on my shoulder, comforting me in silence. After a few moments, I covertly wiped at my eyes and shrugged off the hand. Turning back to him, I jolted in shock when I saw two Smiler booths behind him, slowly lighting up.
"Oh, yeah," the Doctor had apparently forgotten to mention that we weren't alone. "The Forget button is the carrot – those two are the stick."
He strode towards them, tapping on the glass like an annoying child would at an aquarium.
"There's a creature living in agony at the heart of this ship. What's it doing there?" In response to his words, the Smilers' faces switched around so that they turned into Frowners. "No," he openly scoffed at their intimidation technique. "That's not going to work on me, so let's cut the games. Big old beast below decks and everyone who protests gets shoved down its throat. That how the democracy of Great Britain works?"
Then, making me cringe at the sight, they became Scowlers. I recalled one from earlier and shuddered. There was something very unsettling about the creatures that I just couldn't put my finger on.
"Oh, stop. I'm not leaving and I'm not forgetting. What are you fellows gonna do about it? Stick out your tongues, huh?"
The doors to the Scowlers' podiums swung open and each one took a menacing step forwards. Immediately, the Doctor and I jumped backwards – I didn't even protest when he pushed me behind him for extra protection.
"You just had to trash talk them, didn't you?" I asked, clinging onto his puke-soaked tweed jacket.
"It's a trait that's manifested in all eleven of my bodies," he defended. "I get nostalgic over it, okay?"
"NO, not okay! Not even remotely okay!"
"GET DOWN!"
I didn't know who said it, didn't even care that much, but was far too happy to simply follow their command and drop down. The Doctor went with me, shielding me with his body. Through the cracks of light that came though, I saw two brief bursts of light and the smell of burning plastic.
When I looked up, there was a woman stood there; she wore a long red cape that framed her face, dark ebony skin and luscious black hair that was poorly hidden by the hood of the cape.
She looked badass as hell and when she helped me stand up with a kind smile, I only liked her more.
"Look who it is," said the Doctor, with recognition. "You look a lot better without the mask."
"You must be Erin," the woman greeted, shaking my (disgusting) hand. "Liz. Liz 10."
"Hello," I said, a bit dazed.
She gave me a once-over. "Yuck, but you're as pretty as he said you were. Shame about the sick. You know Mandy, yeah?"
"Is she okay?" I asked, panic overruling anything else I might have felt.
"Yeah, she's very brave. Sought me out after you two disappeared." Liz 10's words calmed me and I relaxed almost instantly, not really noticing that the Doctor let me curl into his side until I already had.
"How did you find us?" The Doctor asked, voice reverberating throughout me.
"Stuck my gizmo on you, been listenin' in," Liz 10 winked as she said this, though I hadn't a clue why. "Nice move on the hurl escape."
"You say that 'cause you're not the one covered in sick," I mumbled.
Liz 10 laughed under her breath before turning serious. "So, why's the big fella here?"
"You're over sixteen, you've voted." The Doctor had turned very dark, like he had with Prisoner Zero. "Whatever this is, why it's here, you've chosen to forget it."
"No," she said, coolly. She didn't even let the idea germinate for very long – cutting him down brutally. "Never forgot, never voted, not technically a British subject."
The Doctor sounded exasperated as he asked next; "Then who and what are you? And how do you know me?"
"You're a bit hard to miss, love," Liz 10 remarked. It was one of the most truthful things I'd heard since the TARDIS had first fallen out of the sky. "'Mysterious stranger, M.O consistent with higher alien intelligence, hair of an idiot'." My lips twitched at the last one. "I've been brought up on the stories; everyone in the family was."
"Your family?" Asked the Doctor, slowly.
Her answer was cut short by an electrical twitching sound from behind us; I spun my head around to watch as the Scowlers began twitching on the floor.
"They're repairing," Liz 10 said, shortly. "Doesn't take 'em long. Let's move."
We left the room, haste causing our steps to be quick and precise. The Doctor and I both walked with a squelch, which was more disgusting than I expected it to be, and outside I let out a happy gasp when I saw Mandy waiting there; she breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing me but we couldn't stop, as the Scowlers were still following.
"The Doctor," began Liz 10, with the air of someone repeating a phrase they knew very well. "Old drinking buddy of Henry 12th, tea and scones with Liz 2-" I sent the Doctor an outraged look. "Vicky were a bit on the fence, though, weren't she? Knighted and exiled on the same day... and so much so for the Virgin Queen, you bad, bad boy."
She said all this as we walked and I was torn between trying to understand why she was talking about famous kings and queens instead of her family and also realising that the Doctor had met all of these people. He actually knew the Queen!
"Liz 10," the Doctor muttered.
"Yeah," she stopped walking, turning around so we were forced to stop too. "Elizabeth the Tenth. And down!"
We ducked and she shot over our heads, felling the Scowlers once more. I let out a shaky breath; this was more dangerous than I'd originally imagined. All three of us looked up with wide eyes, though Mandy was the only one without surprise.
"I'm the bloody Queen, mate," Liz 10 smiled at us. I felt my brain implode. "Basically, I rule."
We turned off down into a darker, narrow corridor. My heart was in my throat and all I could think of was the fact that I was currently talking to the Queen of England. I shared a grin with the Doctor, who could obviously sense how excited I was about this.
"There's a high-speed vator down here," Liz 10 explained. "Oh, and then there's these things."
To our left, kept behind huge panes of glass then covered by metal grates, were around fifteen or so of those tentacles I'd spotted earlier. They beat against the glass, trying to escape.
"Any ideas?"
I stepped forwards, pressing my own hand against the glass. "Doctor, this is what I saw up top. There was a hole and this was... growing out of it. When I touched it, it screamed in my head."
Liz 10 and Mandy winced but the Doctor, who already knew this, barely seemed unfazed. "Of course it screamed, it's all one creature with a starship on its back. It's the same one we were almost eaten by, spreading out throughout the country."
"Like an infestation?" Liz 10 demanded; I could see the queen thing, now. She had a very regal air to her. "Someone's helping it, feeding it, feeding my subjects to it. Come on, gotta keep moving."
She took Mandy by the shoulder and led the young girl off, out of view. I made to follow but paused when I saw the Doctor staring morosely at the glass, feeling depressed just looking at him.
"Doctor?" I questioned, softly.
"Erin," he breathed out my name, causing me to blush. It sounded... intimate when he put it like that. "We never should have come here."
"Why?"
The Doctor faced me with a frown marring his handsome features; there was nothing of that 'it'll be all right' air he had earlier. He was slowly figuring out the pieces to this complicated puzzle, I knew, and whatever it was – whatever answer was waiting for us at the end of this yellow brick road - wasn't something he wanted to see. Wanted me to see.
Instead of answering my question, he took me by the hand and walked us down to the vator, where Mandy glanced at our joined hands and then wiggled her eyebrows. I shoved her shoulder but all she did was mouth 'So your boyfriend' at me.
The state apartments was where Liz 10 was taking us, even though I didn't really understand what a state apartment was until the Doctor explained, via a whisper down my ear that wasn't really necessary, that it was where she lived.
Liz 10 told us about how she'd been investigating the creature for quite some time, years even, but it felt like her own people were working against her. It was difficult to imagine the Queen poking around the crooks and nannies of the UK; I imagined my Queen doing that, and promptly broke out into wheezy chuckles that made me look deranged.
We hurried inside, eager to not see any more creepy Smilers, and Liz 10 threw a towel at me, which I was ridiculously happy to have. I patted off my hair and clothes, ridding myself of the puke, even though the smell lingered.
Mandy wrinkled her nose at me. "You stink."
"That's what happens when you get thrown up," I said.
We were led into another room, with a massive four posted bed I was seriously jealous of, but the most obvious thing to notice was the fifty or so glasses, all filled with water, resting on the floor.
"What's with them?" Asked the Doctor. He always asked the most obvious questions, though I didn't know if it was for his benefit (doubtful) or my own (less doubtful).
"To remind me every single day that my government is up to something, and it's my duty to discover what." She sounded so Queen-like when she said that.
"So you're going undercover inside your own Kingdom?" I still couldn't help but laugh if I imagined Elizabeth the 2nd doing that.
"Secrets are being kept from me," Liz 10 explained, sitting down on the be an undoing her cape. "I don't have a choice. Ten years I've been at this, my entire reign, and you lot have achieved more in one afternoon."
The Doctor picked up a white porcelain mask from the bed, inspecting it in the dim lights. "How old were you when you came to the throne?"
"Forty," she answered. "Why?"
"What?" My head spun. "You're fifty? That's not possible."
"They slowed my body clock," Liz 10 told me, stretching back. It was impossible to believe; she didn't look that far past thirty. "Keeps me looking like the stamps."
"We still have stamps?" I asked, under my breath.
"You always wear this in public?" The Doctor gestured to the mask.
"Undercover isn't easy when you're the Queen," she said. "The autographs, the bunting. Everyone on this ship knows my face."
The Doctor nodded at her words, considering them, and ran his fingertips over the smooth surfaces of the mask. "Air-balanced porcelain," he said to me. "Stays on by itself because it's perfectly sculpted to your face."
"So what?" Liz 10 didn't really seem that impressed by it.
"Oh, Liz," he did that thing again – where he looked and acted so much older. I knew it was just his real age shining through, but still. "So everything."
We all jumped up into the air when the door slid open and a group of men marched in. Fearing a bad situation could start to happen, I grabbed Mandy and hid her behind me.
"How dare you come in here?" Liz 10 was pissed, rightfully so, and jumped off the bed to get in the face of the lead man – the same man who'd knocked me out. I felt an intense wave of hatred for him.
"Ma'am," he said, in a tone that would suggest either incredibly bored or an android. "You have expressed interest in the interior workings of Starship UK. You will come with us now."
Liz 10 scoffed. "Why'd I do that?"
The man stared at her, judging her, and then his head- it- it moved around, like a Smiler's would, and a Scowler face plate moved into position.
"How can that be possible?" I asked the Doctor. "How can they be Smilers?"
"They're half-Smiler, half-human." He made a 'hmm' noise at the back of his throat. "They're androids."
"I don't care," Liz 10 brought herself up to her full height, staring down at them with regal poise. "Whatever you creatures are, I am still your queen. On whose authority is this done?"
"The highest authority, Ma'am," he answered.
"I am the highest authority," she said.
"Yes, Ma'am. You must go now, Ma'am."
It wasn't a fight we could win, I knew, but we still shared uneasy glances.
"...where?"
"The Tower, Ma'am."
We were marched from the room, a Winder – or so Liz 10 called them - on all sides. Mandy hugged my side, uncaring of the puke, and I did my best to shield her from the terror around us. I was actually sandwiched between her and the Doctor, who had an arm around my shoulders, as Liz 10 led the way like the queen she really was.
"Are we going to the Tower of London again?" I muttered to him, out of the side of my mouth.
"I guess we are," he said. He still looked sad but I'd... injected some happiness into him. Not much, though. "Hopefully this time ends the same."
"With us saving the day?"
The Doctor's mouth twitched. "With no unecessary deaths."
He moved ahead slightly, eyes focusing on Liz 10, and I frowned without really meaning to. Had Zero's death been necessary? We knew that the Atraxi would kill him, but the alternative would be letting the Earth burn.
I stumbled in my step as it registered in me; I'd let Zero go to his death. It was the right thing to do, I knew that, but knowing something and understanding it were two different things.
Mandy's timid voice drifted up to me; "You okay?"
"Yeah," I shakily answered. "Yeah, I'm fine."
The Winders took us down corridor after corridor, down vator after vator, and we were so twisted about I didn't have a clue where we were on the ship. The only familiar thing I could spot was another grating panel, where the tentacles clanged against the metal.
The scream echoed in my mind once more.
"Where are we?" Mandy asked, eyes wide with fear.
"The lowest point of Starship UK," the Doctor said, sounding kinder than he had done for ages. "The dungeon."
We were pushed into the room and down a set of stairs; this Tower was nothing like the one back in my time. It had stone walls, tall computer stations all focused on the middle of the room. A man was stood there, the one I'd seen in the voting station.
"Ma'am," he greeted.
"Hawthorne," Liz 10 recognised him with a growl. "This is where you hid yourself away. You've got some explaining to do."
"Never mind that," said the Doctor, sounding outraged. "There's kids down here."
I stopped walking when he said that, Mandy stepped away from my side. I realised the truth of his words when my eyes focused on the other side of the room; there was a line of children, all wearing school uniforms, streaming out of the room.
"The hell?" I asked.
"Protestors and citizens of limited value are fed to the beast," Hawthorne said, as if it was very simple. "For some reason, it won't eat the children. You were the first adults it's ever spared. You're very lucky."
The Doctor released a scathing laugh. "Oh, yeah, look at us. Torture chamber of the Tower of London, lucky, lucky, lucky. Except, not a torture chamber, is it?" He entered the centre of the room, staring down Hawthorne. "Except it is. Well, except it isn't. Depends on your angle."
I passed his side, wanting to know whatever he was angry about, and I felt bile hit the back of my throat; there was a giant brain, visible through a metal podium, with a set of giant electrodes pointing down at it.
"What is that?" I asked.
"Depends on the angle, like I said. It's either the exposed pain centre of big fella's brain, being tortured relentlessly."
I let out a horrified gasp, hands covering my mouth. It was all the same creature; the scream I'd heard was- it was being tortured and I'd heard it.
"Or?"
"Or it's the gas pedal, the accelerator. Starship UK's 'go faster' button."
"I-" Liz 1o froze. "I don't understand."
"Don't you?" The Doctor didn't sound very sympathetic - he was growing angrier and angrier by the second. "Try to, go on. The spaceship that could never fly, no vibration on deck. This creature - this poor, trapped, terrified creature. It's not infesting you, it's not invading you, it's what you have instead of an engine. And this is the place where you hurt it, where you torture it, day after day, just to keep it moving!"
His voice ended in a roar, so disgusted was he by the actions of Liz 10 and her people. He moved aside, to the sections of metal grates on the floor, brandishing the sonic like a weapon. "Tell you what, I'll give you a little treat. Normally, it's above the range of human hearing, but I've heard it since I landed. Erin heard it too - low telepathic senses, not too uncommon. This is the sound none of you wanted to hear."
He sonic'd the tentacle and we all heard it; the scream, louder and inhumance, terrified beyond its wits end. It brought tears to my eyes and down my cheeks, a sob bursting from my lips.
"Stop, stop," Liz 10 requested, wearily. "Who... who did this?"
"We act on instructions from the highest authority," repeated Hawthorne. He was kind of a dick.
"I am the highest authority," snapped Liz 1o. "The creature will be released, now."
No one moved.
"I said; NOW! Is anyone even listening to me?"
"Liz." The Doctor's simple word caused her to spin to him, anger etched upon her features. "Your mask."
"What about it?"
He brought it up and I was honestly surprised; I didn't even realise he'd brought it with us. "Look at it," he offered. "It's old. At least two hundred years old, I'd say."
"It's an antique," Liz 10 said. "So?"
"Yeah, an antique made by craftsmen over two hundred years ago and perfectly sculpted to your face."
I froze, looking at the evidence laid out in front of me. What the Doctor had just pointed out, the impossible truth of it all. He was a genius but I felt kind of dumb for not figuring it out sooner.
"They slowed down your body clock, alright, but you're not fifty; nearer three hundred." The Doctor's tone was very gentle as he explained, knowing what a huge shock it would be to her. "And it's been a long old reign."
"Nah," Liz 10 said, shaking her head. "I've been on this throne ten years. Ten."
"Ten years," he agreed. "But it's the same ten years; over and over again, always leading you here."
By the elbow, he led her over to a station with a large screen, in front of which were two buttons, one of which I recognised; Forget and Abdicate. I gulped at the sight of it; the Doctor spoke the truth, as he always did, though I hated to see Liz's world break apart like this.
"What have you done?" Liz 10 asked, in a ghost of a whisper.
"Only what you have ordered," Hawthorne answered, immediately by her side. He was the very image of a loyal servant; even if his mistress had long forgotten the task she'd set. "We work for you, Ma'am. The Winders, the Smilers, all of us."
The horror of that seemed to sink into all of us at the same time; Liz was responsible for the kidnappings, the protestors sent to their deaths, the constant torture of the creature. For three hundred years she'd been trying to stop it, never knowing she was the shadow figure behind it all.
As though the floor would fall out from beneath her at any moment, Liz sat down in the chair in front of the monitors. The second her hand touched the desk, the screen flickered to life and her own image appeared.
"If you are watching this - if I am watching this - then I have found my way to the Tower of London. The creature you are looking at is called a 'Star Whale'-" An 3D hologram popped up on screen, showing a huge beast with multiple tentacles and light purple skin. It was something I expected to find in the deep reaches of Earth's oceans, not living in space. "-Once, there were millions of them. They lived in the depths of space and, according to legend, guided the early space travellers through the asteroid belts. This one, as far as we are aware, is the last of its kind." The Doctor's face twisted at the words; miniscule, but I knew him well enough by now to notice. Sympathy, perhaps. "And what we have done to it breaks my heart. The Earth was burning, our sun had turned against us and every other nation fled to the skies. Our children screamed as the skies grew hotter... and then it came, like a miracle. The last of the Star Whales. We trapped it, built our ship around it, and we rode on its back to safety. If you wish to let our voyage continue, then you must press the Forget button. Be again the heart of this nation, untainted. If not, press the... other button. Your reign will end, the Star Whale will be released, and our ship will disintergrate. I hope I keep the strength to make the right decision."
"That's what all this is?" I asked, lurching back from the screen with a gaping jaw. "That's why I heard those screams? Why I hit Protest?"
"You should've forgotten," the Doctor said, morosely. "You should have just forgotten so we could leave. An impossible decision on our hands; humanity or the alien. A choice which you knew I'd have to take."
I could hear blame in his voice, so I turned onto the defensive. "How is this my fault? You were the one who wanted to investigate this!"
"Because you were in danger," retorted the Doctor. "You really think I could've left you behind?"
"I don't think I decide what you do," I said. "And don't take this out on me. You are not the victim in this situation."
The Doctor gazed at me, eyes cold and clinical. For the first time since we'd met, I think I was looking at the side of him he didn't want me to see; the realistic side. He wasn't thinking of me as 'Lovely Erin', or that kind human who helped him, or even a friend. I was someone in his path.
An obstacle.
I wrenched my eyes away and refused to let him win. I don't think he'd want me around on the TARDIS after this - after so openly questioning him - but if he were a man that refused to see that, sometimes, his actions were wrong, then he wasn't a man I wanted to associate with.
"Telepathic senses," he murmured. "You need to control them."
Had- had he heard me?
I didn't have the opportunity to ask; the Doctor strode away from both of us and began buzzing the sonic at one of the large consoles dotting the room. Liz watched him go, tears streaming down her face.
"What are you doing?"
"The worst thing I'll ever do, which is saying something." He sighed, beginning to pull out massive silver cables and tie them to other things in the room. "I'm going to pass a massive electrical charge through the Star Whale's brain; it'll knock out all its higher functions, leave it... leave it a vegetable. The ship'll still fly, but the whale won't feel a thing."
"You're..." I let the reality of what he was intending to do wash over me. "You're going to make it brain dead."
"Look," the Doctor began with a sigh. "I have three options; one, I let the Star Whale continue in unendurable agony for hundreds more years. Two, I kill everyone on this ship. Three, I murder a beautiful, innocent creature as painlessly as I can. And then? Then I find a new name, 'cause I won't be the Doctor anymore."
"There must be something we can do," posited Liz. "Some other way."
"Doctor," I urged, moving to his side. He refused to even look at me, which hurt more than it should after our recent argument. "This - this isn't just murder, this is genocide. He's the last of his kind, just like-"
"Shut up."
His words stopped me dead. The Doctor met my eyes and I sort of wish he hadn't; the green orbs were swirling with anger and hatred. Directed at me. At himself.
"You don't get to talk to me - nobody human has anything to say to me today!"
His words ended in a roar and I staggered backwards. He was like a vengeful god - even Mandy whimpered in fear. I left the Doctor behind, knowing that he was too stubborn - too stupid - to change his mind. We sat down on a bench together, Mandy wiping at her eyes with the red sleeve of her jumper as my thoughts wandered.
How long had we been on Starship UK? Two hours, maybe? It wasn't that long ago that I was on a train, barely able to sit still out of excitement, then racing across the streets of London because I just couldn't wait to start my new life with the Doctor.
I was such a fool.
I jolted as a loud bang came from behind me; a metal door had opened, revealing the children from earlier. Mandy raced over, hugging a small boy with light hair.
"Timmy!" She cheered into his shoulder. "You're okay! You made it!"
"Mandy?" The boy recognised her with amazement. "What're you doing down here?"
As Mandy began to recount her heroic tale, I turned around on my bench to fully watch; one of the Whale's tentacles had made its way through one of the round metal grates on the floor. It curved up high into the air, flailing around, before moving towards Mandy. My heart leapt up into my throat, ready to defend her, when the tentacle gently tapped her on the shoulder. Mandy looked a bit surprised but hesitantly reached a hand out, like I had done earlier in the tent.
In my mind, the screaming dimmed.
The little girl stroked the Whale, with the other children soon joining her. It was- calm. Peaceful, even. The Star Whale must be in agony, even now, but it'd still reached out to them, to comfort them.
"Our children screamed," Liz had said. "It came, like a miracle."
"It won't eat the children," Hawthorne hadn't expected that.
"The children screamed, then it came. The last of its kind."
"It was a bad day. Mistakes were made."
"Helping more crying children?"
"It's why I do what I do."
"Last of its kind."
"Just me."
"STOP!" The scream tore itself from my throat before I even knew what was happening. I was on my feet, adrenaline pumping, as the Doctor's shocked gaze met mine. "Doctor, stop. Whatever you're doing, stop it!"
I grabbed Liz by the hand, and in a move that was most certainly treason, dragged her over to the voting buttons.
"I'm gonna need a hand, Your Majesty."
"Erin!" The Doctor protested, making his way over. "No! No!"
Without waiting for him to catch up, I slammed Liz's hand down onto the 'Abdicate' button. The entire ship began to shake almost immediately; an earthquake that had started only a few feet below me. The Whale roared - both within my mind and the space itself - and I had to cling to the panel to keep myself upright.
Then it stopped.
"What the hell did you just do?" The Doctor demanded, angrily. He strode over to my side and got right in my face, as if he thought that scare tactic would work.
"Nothing," I told him, unable to keep the smugness out of my voice. "Am I right?"
Hawthorne was stood a way away, looking rather rumpled. "We've increased speed," he said, sounding puzzled.
"Well, you stopped frying the pilot's brain - that's gotta help."
"The Whale hasn't left," Liz said, slowly. "Why?
I didn't lift my eyes from the Doctor's once as I spoke, quite okay with staying inside the little bubble he'd opened up around our two bodies. "The Whale arriving wasn't a miracle; it volunteered. No trapping or torture necessary, that was just us humans, as always. But it heard the children cry and it couldn't just stand by. See, the Star Whale is thousands of years old and it's the very, very last of its kind. It couldn't just sit and watch children cry."
The Doctor was still furious with me - clear enough from his expression - but I couldn't care about that right now. Liz looked devastated, Hawthorne looked as though he were about to throw up, and Mandy was still a bit dazed by everything that'd happened.
It'd be a long road to recovery for Starship UK, but they still had a home aboard the Star Whale's back.
The Doctor disappeared after an hour or so, not that I noticed for a while afterwards. I was busy, with saying goodbye to Mandy - who had taken a shine to me, after all - and Liz - who was so grateful she offered to have me knighted. I was intruiged by the offer, but felt there wasn't much use to it for me when it was over a thousand years in the future.
Hawthorne had given me the Doctor's location using his Winder spies; an observation deck up high near Chelsea. I took a high speed vator up there, Liz's mask in my hands. A memento, she'd said.
The Doctor was stood in the centre of the room, staring out the large window pane, hands in his pockets. He seemed deep in thought, troubled by whatever he found there, but I knew that he knew I was there.
Was it a Time Lord thing, or was I just really bad at masking my presence?
"Both," he answered, dryly.
The telepath thing- right. I quickly made my way over to him, offering the mask. "From Liz - nothing to hide behind now. No more secrets."
He didn't even glance at me. I followed his gaze outwards and let my breath be stolen; a million, billion starts tinkled at me, so close I could touch.
Like always, the mood was ruined.
"You could've killed everyone on this ship, Erin."
"You could've killed a Star Whale, Doctor."
The Doctor released a breath that seemed to make his entire body sag. "I know, I know, you saved it. Stopped me from committing another genocide."
I wanted to ask about the 'another' thing, but knew there were better places and times; such as nowhere and never. "It's pretty cool, isn't it? The Star Whale, tortured and hurt for all those years, lonely and miserable. And it's the kindest thing on this ship - well. Beneath this ship, anyway."
"You couldn't have known," the Doctor said. "It was a complete uncertainty - you heard the thing scream, not invite it out for scones and jam."
"I had some experience with things like the Star Whale," I teased. The Doctor's head tilted to the side; he genuinely didn't realise. "Oh come on, you see it?"
"See what?"
I rotated my body so it was pressed closer to his, my voice going low and personal. "He was very old and very wise, and was the very, very last of his kind, unable to ever just sit there and watch children cry. I've met his type before."
The Doctor stared at me, unfazed, for what was bordering onto a minute before he moved. I'd thought that perhaps he was going through a ridiculously stupid phase, then his arms wrapped around me and I was lifted up into the air in a twirling hug. Unlike last time, we weren't in a mouth and there wasn't a single speck of vomit in sight - though the stench remained on our clothes.
"Thank you," he murmured into my collar. "I needed you today."
"I needed you, too," I admitted. I wouldn't have survived today without his help; we both knew that.
His arms turned tighter for a moment, causing my breath to escape my body in a quick puff. Then he stepped away, hand on my cheek, and pressed an unfalteringly sweet kiss on my forehead.
"Mind you," I said, as a joke, as a distraction, as a warning. "If you ever talk to me like that again, I'm leaving you for the giant space whale."
"It'd probably treat you better," the Doctor remarked. "C'mon. Let's go back to the TARDIS."
"Ugh, yes." I let him pull me along by my hand, skipping alongside him down to where he'd parked the TARDIS. "I need, like, six showers. And hand sanitizer. And mouthwash. And new clothes."
"The TARDIS will sort you out," he promised me. "She likes you."
I frowned at the thought. "She does?"
"Well," the Doctor looked at me and then away. "I like you, so she should do. She'll sort out a room and everything, if you want."
"My own room?" He nodded. "My own, actual room on your actual spaceship?!"
"Yes," he laughed. "Most of my companions have their own room."
I giggled at thought. "This is so cool. You're so cool. This is all so cool."
"Just like the bow tie," the Doctor said, tapping at it as he did so.
"No," I told him, gently. "Really, just... no. No."
The Doctor sighed. "One day, that'll work."
It was when the distant blue of the TARDIS became a large box in front of us that I slowed down, letting the Doctor walk ahead. He had one hand on the door, ready to push it open, when I tugged on it for him to stop. He paused, glancing back at me.
"Aren't you saying goodbye?" I asked. "They'll wanna know where we went, right?"
"They'll wonder for the rest of their lives," he said. "They'll write songs about what happened here - plus a direct-to-TV movie where its all really bad CGI. But never mind them; we've got places to be."
"We've always got places to be, it's a time machine." He smiled at my joke, but I wasn't finished. "Doctor... have you- have you ever just... decided to not do something? You try your best and run away, because you don't know what you'd do if you get there?"
"Once," the Doctor said. "You're looking at the result. I- I thought I could outrun my death but, in the end, it was for nothing. Why?"
I sighed. "My parents are divorcing."
"Ah," he nodded several times. "And that's...?"
"They -" I sighed, and thought of how to phrase my next sentence. "They're complicated, okay? I love my parents. I do. But they asked me to keep it a secret from Cooper and... I'm not sure if I can do that. It's why I let Danielle say goodbye for me instead of doing it myself."
"They don't want your brother to know?" The Doctor asked, surprised. "Why not?"
"'Cause he's just a kid," I told him. "I mean, he's fifteen. Exams and school and just general teenage stuff. They adopted Cooper when he was three, so we're sorta the only family he's ever known. They wanna keep his life as stable as possible."
"He'll figure it out, especially if he's as smart as you are. If they don't tell him, it'll be worse." The Doctor rested on the side of the TARDIS, crossing his arms over. "Parents always do that."
He had insider knowledge on this, I knew without asking, so I took what he was saying as the truth. "Do what?"
"Protect their children from the harsh realities of life," he answered. "There are two main types of parents, with a rare third type in-between. The first over-shares; money troubles, health issues. From a young age, their child knows everything that goes on within their home, and often grows up worrying because of it. They stop being a child because their parent refuses to let them be one. The second type worries too much. They wrap their child in a bubble, refusing to ever let them know of the reality of life. The children grow up unconcerned with other things because everything's always been taken care of for them."
"And the third?" Everything he'd said, I'd seen before. Either through experience or through friends and books.
The Doctor gave me a soft smile. "The third lets their child know of the outside world, but doesn't expose them to it. They teach about money and how to save it, which foods are good and which aren't. They teach their children, but don't over-expose them or coddle them."
"Which were you?" I blurted out, before I could stop it. I'd been curious ever since he'd slipped up earlier, but I thought I could hide it. Apparently, my mouth betrayed me.
If he was upset by my question, the Doctor didn't let it show, to his credit. He stared off, unseeing, into the distance. He'd never looked older to me. "Which one do you think I was?"
Was. He had been a father, then. My heart had jumped up into my throat - I had a ridiculous amount of questions, none of which I could verbalise. Each one was akin to a dagger in his hearts. I licked my lips and noted his eyes following the movement.
The Doctor - I couldn't imagine him being a bad father, because of how kind and gentle he was with Mandy. But that could be from being a bad father before his children had died; maybe now he was trying to make up for it.
"The third," I said, eventually. "You... you were the third. I think."
He gave me a half-smile, still not looking at me. As he considered my words, I considered the profile of his face. The Doctor looked so very young - maybe pushing twenty-six, if I had to put an actual number to his physical body. I could imagine him as a father at that age, but only with young babies. From the way he spoke, from his real age, I knew that his children were probably fully grown at the time of their death.
The Doctor clicked his fingers and the TARDIS doors swung open. "Where to?"
Ah, our conversation was over. "A shower," I answered. "I still stink."
"You do," he agreed, amusedly. "There's a... stench in the air."
"Yeah, but you usually smell like that, so I wasn't gonna mention it." I skipped off into the TARDIS, hearing the outraged gasp that followed me.
Our time aboard Starship UK had changed us. For the better, I think.
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