When we finally found Engie, I had to explain at least three times I had no idea how to shoot a gun. He tried giving me one of Spy's pistols and when I quite bluntly explained the recoil would most likely leave me with black eyes by the end of the day he gave up and sent Scout to find my hockey stick. I was sitting on top of a table, rolling the lollypop around in my mouth when Engineer came over to see how I was coping.

"Alright, I guess. Considering I've been dragged out of my own timeline, drugged and told I've got to take part in your stupid battles, I think I'm fairing pretty damned well."

Engie laughed and leant against the table I was sitting on. From a couple of passing glances I could tell he was roughly the same height as me but built like a tank, especially in the upper body. I felt sorry for the BLU Spy if he ever managed to get his hands on him.

"That's good, wouldn't want you breaking down on us in the middle of the battle."

I put my chin in my hands and swung my legs a bit. "To be honest with you I'm going to be fairly useless."

"Well if ya die you'll just respawn so you might as well give it a go." He said, patting me on the back roughly before walking away to some other area of his workshop.

Thank fuck for that, I thought, at least they have respawn here. They must've set me up in the system while I was out of it (totally didn't faint). Despite this reassuring thought I decided I was going to hide behind Engie's dispenser today and not move at all.

I'd like to say my plan worked fairly well...to an extent. It was when the BLU Spy decided to show his face that it went to pot. He found me leaning against the dispenser, arms wrapped around my hockey stick and just laughed at me.

Fucking laughed.

I sat there shaking as this guy just stands there and laughs his stupid French laugh (can really see why Scout calls it 'faggy') at me. He doesn't even bat an eyelid when Engie comes tearing around the corner, wielding a wrench. Nope, all he says is 'so you 'av one too?' And vanishes into thin air.

Now Engie, he didn't look pleased. I didn't know if he was pissed at me or at the BLU Spy but boy did he look pissed at something. He hauled me up by my arm and dragged me over to the door of the room and kicked me out, leaving me to stand shaking in my ill-fitting half-a-Scout uniform and face-to-face with the very very real possibillity of death.

I think I can describe in fairly accurate terms how terrified I was.

"Fuck."