A/N: A little fluff for the holidays ;-) Hope you like it!

Thanks to Come what may for the beta!!!

I could feel you, you were there

I could hold you, but you´re not there.

But I´m, I´m gonna wait... - Chantal Kreviazuk „I just want you to know"

Part 3:

„Hard case, huh?"

Sara´s head snapped up. She hadn´t heard Catherine entering the locker room.

„Yeah." She agreed quietly, turning her head away. Her co-worker didn´t have to see the state she was in.

„Want to go out for a drink? My treat."

Even if she could have drank that night she would have declined.

„No thanks. I´ll just go home and get some sleep." Sara answered politely, smiling weakly at Catherine. „See you tonight."

„Okay, maybe some other time."

Had Sara been crying? Her eyes were definetely red, but it could just be that she´d worked overtime again to solve the case. It had been hard on them all. A dead two-month-old baby with severe injuries all over the small body. All cases that involved children and in addition domestic abuse as it turned out bothered Sara, everybody knew that. But still something was different about her these days and Catherine was determined to find out what it was.

„Grissom."

„Gil, it´s Catherine. How are you."

It was only the second time Catherine had called during his leave and it surprised Grissom, considering that he hadn´t exactly told her all the reasons why he was leaving...and she wasn´t usually able to contain her curiosity.

„I´m fine, thanks for asking. Everything okay back home?"

„Yeah, I guess so, except..." There was no point in beating around the bush, „...I´m a bit worried about Sara." She hold her breath waiting for his reaction.

„Sara? Why?" He tried to sound nonchalant.

„She has been a bit off for some time now, I can´t really put my finger on it but I think something´s bothering her. And I think I caught her crying in the locker room today." Grissom could hear the worry in Catherine´s voice. Even if she and Sara didn´t always get along she still cared about her co-worker.

„Are you sure?" He couldn´t help the worry sneaking into his own voice.

„She wouldn´t look at me and when she did her eyes were red, so yeah I´m sure."

„Well..." he didn´t know what to tell her. To his colleagues he and Sara were still only employer and employee, nothing more. He couldn´t express his real concern for her.

„You know how Sara gets sometimes emotional over cases. Just give her some time to decompress and see how she behaves tonight, if she´s still off try to talk to her." He finally advised. He wondered if it was really only a case that bothered her or if his reaction from the day before had something to do with it also. God, he was such an idiot sometimes.

„Why thanks Grissom,I wouldn´t have thought about that myself." Catherine mumurred sarcastically. She didn´t know what she´d expected when she called him but he and Sara had seemed closer before he´d left so she thought he might know what bothered her. Apparently she had been wrong.

„Anyway, gotta go again, need to get some sleep before Lindsey gets home. Have you decided when you´ll come back yet?"

„No, not yet, we´ll see. Bye Cath."

He certainly wasn´t one for small talk.

Opening her inbox Sara was surprised to find she had an e-mail from Grissom.

Sara,

I´m sorry for my behaviour on the phone yesterday. I don´t know what had gotten into me. You know how I get when I feel I can´t handle a situation and yesterday I just felt overwhelmed by what you told me. I didn´t mean to be abrupt and insensitive, I just didn´t know what to say.

The situtation we and particularly I am in is so very complicated, even without the pregnancy. I don´t know what to do. On the one hand I want to be there for you, I want to come with you to your check-ups and I feel guilty for not having been there for the first ultrasound. But on the other hand I know I can´t be there right know, because I need to be here at the moment. I need the break from our job, I need to be away from Vegas and inevitably away from you to get my life back together. And I have a feeling that it will still take a while for me to get back on trek.

But I want you to know that I want our baby and I don´t want to lose you.

I love you Sara and I miss you more than I ever thought possible, Gil.

He didn´t often show emotion but when he did, he never did it halfway.

Reading the mail for a second time Sara felt the overwhelming urge to hold him. The situation was so messed up. She felt guilty for being angry at him for not being here with her now although she knew that he just couldn´t be. But the situation was just too much for her. And she knew it would soon get worse.

In a few weeks she would probably begin to show and there was no way she could hide the pregnancy any longer then. What should she tell her co-workers and friends? What should she tell Ecklie and the Sheriff?

Without Grissom there she felt lost.

Letting herself fall onto the couch Sara let out a deep sigh. They couldn´t let this time apart seperate them permanently. She had to show Grissom that he was part of her life even if he wasn´t with her right now.

Looking at the dining room table and seeing the big brown envelope on it she had an idea...

Dr.Grissom? This arrived for you today." The receptionist told him as he arrived at the hotel after his lectures that day.

„Thank you." He accepted the package she handed him, a confused look on his face. He hadn´t ordered anything and almost nobody had his address here. Except for...looking at the return adress his whole face lit up.

He made his way to his room as quickly as he could and ripped the envelope open as soon as he had closed the door. Plopping down on the couch he lifted the content out of the package. A small white card accompanied several pictures he couldn´t identify just yet.

As you couldn´t be there yourself I thought you´d at least liked to see the pictures and assure yourself that everything is alright.

We miss you, but we´ll wait for you no matter how long it takes.

Love, Sara (and little Grissom) ;-)

She´d sent him sonogram pictures? He carefully put the card aside to look at the black and white photographs using all his medical knowledge to decipher what he was seeing.

Although he didn´t know much about sonograms, Doc Robbins had already taught him enough to estimate several limbs, the back and the heart. A little person. A little person he´d helped create.

He was sure the look of awe on his face wouldn´t disappear for at least a week.

Tucking two of the pictures into his wallet he made his way out again. This he had to celebrate.