Stressed
Kyle's P.O.V
Silence. That was all I heard as I lay in my bed on a saturday morning. Ike had disappeared hours ago to sulk. Stan was ignoring me for Wendy...again. The only two people left I could decently contact was either Kenny or Cartman; sure as hell wasn't going to text Cartman. I was far from being capable to deal with any of the cruel jokes he could possibly have for me. That left none other than Kenny McCormick.
Are you busy?- Kyle B.
Not rly- K.M
Care to hang out?- Kyle B.
Sre mt u at hb?- K.M
Sounds good to me.- Kyle B.
Getting dressed seemed to be slightly harder than usual. Instead of gladly deciding what to wear that day, I just stared at the items in my closet as if they were strangers. Eventually, I decided that my typical green skinny jeans and orange jacket. I picked at the fraying sleeves as I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get a quick shower.
As I ran the water, I noticed it. A shiny slim object sitting on the side of the tub. I picked it up and frowned. It was a small blade that had been removed from one of our disposable razors. Surely, Ike would be smarter than to use this right? My finger grazed the sharp side by accident. A quick sting, and the tip of my finger was bleeding. I stared at it almost desperately as it dripped into the water, turned pink, and washed down the drain. A small idea formed at the base of my skull; but before I could completely enact it, I would have to test it to see if I could get it to work.
I raced into Harbucks panting lightly as I made my way into our usual booth. Kenny had beaten me there, and it looked as if he had already ordered me some coffee as well. "Hey," I whispered as I slid into the booth. "What did you get me?" I grabbed the cup sitting in front of me carefully.
"A hot cocoa. You didn't seem like you needed anymore extra energy." Kenny eyed me warily. His clothes were a rumpled mess; he probably stayed the night with someone else last night. I sighed and ran a hand through my straightened red hair-never had I been so grateful for an invention.
"Not really," I sippped the cocoa cautiously. It wasn't that I didn't trust Kenny, it was simply that I didn't trust the person behind the counter. Kendra was a close friend with Cartman, and I was almost positive that she would poison me if Cartman told her to. How Cartman had managed to snag someone as sweet looking as her for a friend, I'll never know.
"It's not poisoned." Kenny glanced up from his coffee to look me in the eye. "I've already checked." He chuckled leaning back and stretched. "So what was so important that you wanted to hang out with me?" I flinched and looked at the table. I suppose he had a reason to be upset with me. It's not like we ever really hung out a lot anymore. After junior high, we kind of went our seperate ways. He went more with Craig's gang, and I stuck by Stan's side-which was proving to be a rather large mistake. So much for being super best friends.
"It's about Ike," I sighed and layed my forehead on my arms. I hadn't really been given the option to talk to someone about what was going on with me since it started. "And Stan, and everything? I feel like I'm just losing at life." My thumbs twiddled with anxiety.
"What do you mean losing?" Kenny leaned forward, for once looking serious. It was kind of nice to see him care. Especially since I kind of distanced myself after junior high. I guess I thought I was too goood for him, but I can see that's not true now. "You're not like...thinking of hurting yourself are you?" I could almost scoff at the idea.
"Not mortally no. But I would be lying if I said the thought of just punching something or taking my frustration out on myself hasn't crossed my mind. Ike's parents are back, like his REAL parents. And I wish I could help him, but it kills me knowing he can officially choose if we're good enough for him or not. I've been trying to talk to Stan about it, but he's officially dumped me for Wendy. And I just...I've always got this sinking feeling in my chest. I know my problems are nothing compared to anything you've gone through, but surely you've got some kind of advice?" I looked up at Kenny with tears in the corners of my eyes. At this point, I could honestly care less if I broke down in front of him. It wasn't like Kenny would tell anybody. He hadn't ever disclosed my secrets without my knowledge. A painful hic formed in my chest and he reached his hand out across the table to me.
"Sometimes..." He sighed and looked at me carefully. "Sometimes it's okay to hurt yourself. I don't want to tell you not to, because I understand you need a way to clear your mind. But I will tell you that you will regret it later. You're a strong guy, Kyle. You're just between a rock and a hard place right now." He stroked my hand softly, squeezing it. "How about we go to a party tonight? Bebe's having another one, and there should be some beer or something. It'll do you good to let loose like that. It'll help clear your mind for at least a few hours, you know?" I nodded softly and sighed rubbing my eyes trembling. There was no doubt he was right. I did need a break from everything going on in my mind and this would be the best way to do it. At least, I would be around people who seemed to care. It was better than being locked up in my room for the night; left to wallow in thought until I decided to do something stupid.
"Okay," I nodded. "Sounds good."
A/N: Sorry if this chapter is written a little weird. XD I got a new laptop for christmas, and this was the first thing I've written on it. I'm trying to find a good alternative for Microsoft Word, and the program I used for this... I don't think it's exactly what I'm looking for. So the next few chapters may be a little weird or short until I find a program I can agree with!