Am I Going to Die?

I stood behind Logan's chair biting my nails furiously. I hated seeing my 4 year old son, in a hospital bed, with an IV in his arm. I hated seeing him so…sick looking. What was worst is that no one…not one single doctor was coming in and telling us what was wrong with him. They made us sit out for almost two hours while they ran tests on him and then let us back into see him, but no one told us what kind of tests they ran and if he was okay.

"Kendall…please calm down…" I watched Logan stand and walk to the bed. He carefully lifted himself up on the bed and took Matthews little right hand. He held it and gently rubbed over it, looking down at him, smiling. I saw Matthew start to move around and then flutter his eyes open. Matthew smiled big and him and then turned to me.

"Papa? Daddy?" I smiled and walked over, getting right next to Logan and putting a hand Matthew's head, and running my fingers through his hair.

"Hey buddy. How do you feel?" Matthew went to reach for his IV but both Logan and I stopped him. "You have to leave that in."

"It itches papa." I smiled and put my free hand on the back of Logan's neck, holding it gently. "I feel better. I don't feel so weak." I saw the smile on Logan's face disappear and knew, just knew, Logan could tell what was wrong with him. "I'm like you now papa. I'm sick too!" Logan bent down and kissed his head and laughed.

"That's not something I want baby." Matthew giggled and I turned hearing the door open. A doctor, in his late 60's it looked like walked in holding a clipboard, with a smile on his face.

"Matthew my boy, you're awake!" Logan went to stand but I kept him down as the doctor walked on the other side of the bed, still smiling. "I have to say…you were very brave. Probably the bravest kid I've ever seen!" Matthew giggled and the doctor turned to us. He extended his hand I made quick to shake it. "Doctor Baker."

"Kendall Knight. This is my husband, Logan." Logan shook his hand and the doctor pulled up a chair sitting down. "So…is he okay?" Logan quickly grabbed my hand on the back of his neck and held it in his squeezing it.

"Well I have news. Matthew is going to be fine. In fact he is very healthy and strong. He is a very healthy 4 year old. However…" I squeezed Logan's hand and the doctor flipped through the papers on the clipboard. "Your son's insulin levels were very, very low." I scrunched my eyebrows and heard a sigh, almost of relief from Logan.

"He has diabetes." The doctor turned to Logan and gave a small smile and nodded. I looked between the two and Logan smiled, pushing hair off Matthews forehead. "His body doesn't produce enough insulin which breaks down the sugar into energy which he needs. Hence the reason he was weak and really sleepy." I had heard about diabetes but I always thought it happened to overweight people.

"So…he's okay?" The doctor smiled and nodded.

"Yes. Most cases of type 1 diabetes happens in the early childhood and with proper medicine and treatment, he can learn to live with this and live a long healthy life. He will need to take insulin every day and make some changes to his diet, but not that much. Because he is so young we can start making those changes and get him on the right track to handle this." I nodded looked down at Matthew who was staring at the doctor.

"Am I going to die?" I heard a gasp from Logan who quickly scooped Matthew up and held him tight.

"You are not going to die Matthew. Do not think that, do you understand me?" Matthew nodded and I pet the back of his head. I saw the doctor smile as he went through some papers and wrote some things down.

"I'll come back in 5 minutes with a nurse to show all three of you how to test his blood sugar, and how to take the insulin." He stood up and I smiled and nodded. When he walked out, I checked my watch quick and sighed. We had to pick up Emma in two hours, hopefully I wouldn't have to leave them while I picked her up. I wasn't a fan of being away from Logan anymore, and now with Matthew, I didn't want to leave him either.

The five minutes did pass and the doctor did come back in, with a female nurse. She had a little meter in her hands that she told us was a blood sugar meter. All you had to do was poke his finger, draw some blood and measure it. Because he is so young, Matthews levels should be below 130 but above 70, and I was never more thankful to have a nerd for a husband. He knew all this stuff. He knew exactly when Matthew would need to eat some sugar if it got to low. However, he was not a fan of having to poke his little finger and shoot the insulin in his leg every day, and that would be, where I would come in. The doctor showed both of us, but it was me who actually did it. Matthew cried, but when it was all over with, Logan held him and rocked him while the doctor continued to talk to me, about living with it.

An hour and a half later we were walking back into the waiting room where James still was. The doctor was setting up an appointment for Matthew sometime next week, and Logan decided on Friday, after Emma got out of school. We both thanked him, getting the meter and the insulin from him and walked up to James who stood up fast and glared at Logan.

"No…before you start hounding him for information, we are going to get in the car and pick up Emma. Then when the kids aren't around, you can talk." I stared between the two and Logan nodded, while James groaned and followed out behind me and Matthew, who was again fast asleep in my arms.

We got to her school a little late but Logan called ahead and asked if they could watch her. When we got there, she was outside, playing hopscotch with her teacher. I got out leaving Logan in the back with Matthew and James in the passenger seat. When she saw me Emma ran right to me.

"Daddy!" I scooped her up and kissed her cheek.

"Hi sweetheart. I'm sorry were late." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

"It's okay. Teacher said Matthew didn't feel well and that you and Papa were taking care of him. Is Mattie okay?"

"He is better than okay!" She smiled and I walked to the teacher who was holding Emma's coat and backpack.

"Mr. Knight…can I have a word with you for a minute?" I smiled and nodded putting Emma down.

"Why don't you go see your papa and Matthew in the car, and I'll be right there okay?" She nodded and took her coat and backpack and ran off. I stood back up and smiled at the lady. She smiled back but it fell quick. "Is Emma doing okay in school?"

"Yes, in fact she is one of my brightest. She is adapting so well to learning, I've actually very impressed. But…" The but, it never ended well after a but. "It seems…she's having trouble making any friends and I've caught more than once, kids picking on her." I felt my heart drop and she stepped forward putting a hand on my shoulder. "I don't think most children understand when they see two men instead of a man and a women. She hasn't said anything to you or your husband?" I shook my head and she nodded. "I would assume not. Emma is a very strong girl. She likes to make everything seem okay, when she might be upset. I've noticed it. But do not be fooled. Some of these children are being very cruel Mr. Knight. They are singling her out because she doesn't have a mommy according to one student. I separated them and asked Emma if she was okay, and she said words can't hurt her. She said she learned that from her papa." I smiled small and turned hearing a door open. Logan was getting out and looking over at us curiously. I put up one finger and forced a smile. He nodded and got back in the back with the kids. I turned back to the teacher and she sighed. "I knew I needed to tell you. I am watching her very closely. Her and Jimmy. And I've asked the other teachers, on recess and lunch duty to do the same but some things I don't catch. I think it might help if you and Logan talk to her? Maybe get her to tell you what the kids are telling her. But I'm not telling you how to raise your daughter. Have a good day Mr. Knight." She smiled and turned walking back into the school. I sighed out hard and walked back to the car.

The drive was loud, Emma telling us about her day, and Mattie telling his sister that he was sick and then Logan trying to explain it to her. James stayed quiet smiling every now and then and when we got to the house I got out fast to help Logan and get Matthew. Emma was already running to the front door and I saw James glaring at Logan. I quickly picked up Matthew and let them stand by the car while I stayed in the house with the kids.

I set both Emma and Matthew at the table as I cut up some apples and got some peanut butter for them to snack on. I put the plate in-between them and sat at the end of the table watching them.

"So Emma…did you and Jimmy have fun at school today?" She nodded while munching on the apple and I smiled. "DO you have any other friends? Like little girl friends?" She turned to me and shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't like any of those girls daddy."

"How come sweetie?" She shrugged again and I started to realize she got this, stubbornness, cover things up form Logan. Which was really cute, but right now, I hated it. "Are the other kids nice to you and Jimmy?"

"Sometimes they say mean things, but words cant hurt me daddy." I tried to think of a different approach and smiled.

"So when those kids say mean things…do they make you feel mad?" She turned to me and nodded her head. "So what do you say back to them?"

"Nothing. I don't want to get in trouble."

"But if you're sticking up for you and your friend, you won't get in trouble. Just like if you told your teacher or even me and papa what those kids say, you wouldn't get in trouble."

"I'm not afraid to get in trouble daddy. I just don't want to be hurt." I was getting somewhere with her, but I didn't know if I wanted to go any further.

"Why would you get hurt sweetheart?" She looked down at the table and sniffled her nose. She was crying. "Did someone hurt you?" She shook her head and I saw the tears fall. I got up, turned her chair to face me and held her face. "Did someone hurt you?" She stuck out her bottom lip and nodded slowly. I wiped her eyes and saw Matthew looking at us, not really sure what was going on. "Who?" She cried out and I quickly put her in my arms and held the back of her head. "Who hurt you baby girl?" She dug her face in my neck and cried out. I rubbed her back and saw Matthew going back to eating.

"His name…name is Ben."

"IS he in your class?" She nodded against me and I quickly got up taking her seat and sitting down hard. "What did he do?" She gently pushed off me and sat down on my lap. She lifted her dress a little on her legs and I cut see a cut on her knee. I quickly grabbed a paper towel and wiped it. "Did he push you down?" She nodded and wiped her eyes.

"He said I was a bad girl because I didn't have a mommy. And then Mrs. Teacher came and told him to leave me alone, but when she left, he said if I told anyone that he was being mean to me, he'd hurt me. And then he pushed me daddy. On the gravel and I hurt my knee. But I didn't go to Mrs. Teacher, because he would have hurt me badder daddy…" She got up again and cried on my shoulder. I held her tight and sighed not knowing what to do. It wasn't like I could go to the school and beat the shit out of the kid. I'd defiantly go to prison. But that didn't mean I couldn't deal with the kids parents.

I turned hearing the door open and saw James limp in, rather fast. He sat down and pulled out his phone. Logan came in behind him shaking his head.

"It isn't my place James. Call Carlos, tell him to pick you up so you can…Emma?" Emma lifted her face and he walked over quickly. "What's the matter?" She put her face back in my neck and I sighed. "What happened?" I rubbed her back and motioned for him to sit. I could tell he was in pain and knew he hadn't taken his antibiotics or pain killer since this morning.

"Emma was pushed down today by a kid named Ben." He moved to her quickly scooting closer and rubbed her back with me. "He told her she was a bag girl because she didn't have a mommy and then pushed her saying if she told anyone he was mean, he would hurt her." James was walking in slowly and I felt her grip my shirt. "Her knee is hurt." Logan stood up and quickly walked to the pantry grabbing the first aid kit. "I'm going to find out who Ben's parents are and have a talk with them." She pushed off me fast and sobbed out.

"No daddy! You can't tell anyone!" Logan walked back in, pushing his chair right next to mine. He sat down, lifted her on the table and looked at her knee.

"Sweetheart, that boy isn't nice. He needs to be punished." She rubbed her eyes as she sobbed and I could just see Logan all over her. This is exactly how Logan would react just to get his way. Usually I fell for the tears and the crying, but not this time. I had to take care of her, and needed to make sure no kid bullied my little girl.