Chapter 4

Tim stayed up late into the night, trying to decide what he was going to do, first. He didn't dare start hacking from here. That would only cast suspicion on his parents and he didn't want that.

Of course, he didn't want to be caught hacking at all, but if he was caught, he wanted it to be away from his parents which would mean that they couldn't be blamed for it.

What he could see was that it was vitally important to know exactly what the charges were going to be and what had happened. Since Sam was unwilling to share (and Tim was unwilling to press him for it), he would have to see if he could piece it together from Sam's military file. Once he had an idea of that, he could start trying to find out who had brought the charges and who it was that had been to blame in the original event.

Tim was taking it for granted that, no matter what the situation had been, his father had been innocent.

He didn't have very many memories of his father as he had been in the military. He remembered that they had moved a lot which Tim hadn't liked. He remembered that Sam had been more distant from him, more short-tempered, more demanding. They hadn't spent much time together and, sometimes, Sam had seemed more like a distant uncle than a father. Tim also remembered that he had felt a little bit guilty when he had been happy that his father was leaving the Navy. It had turned Sam into a person who was around all the time and who spent time with him and who laughed and was happy. But it was clear that all was not well with his dad and that bad things had happened.

That made Tim pause in his recollection. Had he really thought that? Sam had always spoken of his time in the military as a positive experience, but as Tim thought back, he had to agree with the passing thought. At least, at the end of his service, Sam had not been happy. He had been unhappy, perhaps even angry. Tim couldn't be sure of that part, and certainly, Sam wouldn't be open to discussing it. Maybe Tim could put out some discrete feelers to his dad's old Navy buddies. They used to be at the house all the time in the first few years after Sam's retirement. But once they had moved to Ohio, that had changed, and Sam had new friends, academic friends. However, Tim also knew that they still exchanged Christmas cards with some of them. So that might still be an option.

The biggest problem was going to be figuring out what to do after he found everything he needed to find. Because it would be found using less-than-legal means, it might end up being difficult to share that information.

He'd find a way, though. Tim considered what he'd do about that. Threats? Maybe, although Tim didn't consider himself to be very good at that kind of thing. What he knew, he knew, and it was hard to use information to twist someone's arm. Any attempt of that would likely blow up in his face or else leave the person he was threatening laughing at him.

Maybe I should tell Gibbs about this, bring him into it, not try to do it on my own. It's not like it would be the first time the team ever did something basically illegal for personal reasons.

But at the same time, Tim couldn't bring himself to do that. It seemed wrong, somehow. It was always Gibbs' personal reasons that pulled them in. It had been Ziva's, at times, before she left. And it had always put them in danger, either for their jobs or their lives. Their personal problems had never stayed personal and had always spilled over onto the rest of the team. It was never Tim who did that. He didn't bring his personal life into work. The only time he'd ever made something personal was when a case they were already working on had ended up involving his family. He'd always tried to keep that stuff away. It wasn't right to use the job to help himself. Not like that. He couldn't be the cause of Tony and Gibbs losing their jobs. He wouldn't do that to them, and he wouldn't allow that to come down on his head.

I've already taken steps to separate myself from NCIS. I can't bring them into it, not and keep any self-respect. What I'm going to be doing would tarnish NCIS and I won't do that. Gibbs'll be mad at me, but I'd hate myself more if I asked him for help than he would if I don't.

Throughout the night, Tim made lists. He tried to come up with ideas for how he'd proceed. Around two in the morning, he snuck down the stairs to the study. He turned on a single lamp and pulled the family photo albums off the shelf. Then, he settled in a chair and started to look through the earliest photos of his parents together.

He smiled as he saw his parents' wedding day. Sam was in his uniform. Naomi was in a simple white gown.

Sam was standing.

Tim tried to ignore the twinge that thought gave him.

Then, he started to flip forward, making notes of the military people that were familiar enough to show up in photos. He also paid attention to when his dad had started seeming to be less happy. Based only on static pictures, it had only really begun about a year before everything had fallen apart.

That made sense to the adult Tim. After all, if this was a top-secret mission, as Tim knew it had been, then, there would be a lot of training and prep time required.

As he looked through, he noticed a new face. A military buddy who only showed up in pictures for that year and then about six months after, basically until Sam had fully retired from the Navy. And never again after that. So was this a real friend or was it just a fellow Navy man Sam had been working with?

Tim looked at the photos. Most of them didn't label the man, but there was one photo of just Sam and this stranger. They were standing together, both in full dress uniform. They were smiling, but there was a sternness to their positions that said this was not a casual photograph. It looked like something official. Under the photograph was a label. New Navy commanders: Sam McGee and Charlie Leadore.

Charlie Leadore. That was a name that meant nothing to Tim. He couldn't even pretend that he knew who that might be. Apparently, they'd both been promoted at the same time. Tim hadn't realized that Sam's final promotion had come just in that year before that final mission. Commanders could be in charge of ships, serve as advisors, or even lead small forces ashore. There was probably some significance to that rank at that particular time.

Would this Charlie Leadore matter? Maybe. Maybe not, but he wrote the name down, intent on finding out. While he might not be as militant as Gibbs was about not believing in coincidences, the timing of his entrance into the lives of the McGees and his departure seemed significant. If he was involved, it was also important that he was alive after the mission was over because he was still in a couple of photos, including one where Sam was still in the hospital, recovering from his injuries.

Tim looked at the photo, carefully. Charlie didn't seem to be injured at all, and he was sitting beside Sam, looking concerned. Sam seemed happy to see him. All these things indicated a basic friendship, at least, but then, he was gone. Not even Christmas cards. Maybe that meant he had died. It was possible, but Tim couldn't help wondering.

He'd definitely look that name up when he got started.

He continued his survey, and he paused again on what looked like a backyard barbecue. Tim himself had only been seven at the time. Then, he saw a photo that someone else must have taken. It was a shot of a backyard. There were a lot of people, most of them looking like they were having fun. Tim found himself with other kids, completely oblivious to anything but a water balloon.

And Naomi was sitting beside a woman Tim didn't recognize, and she was crying. The woman had an arm around her shoulders and she was gesturing.

Curious, Tim tried to follow her gesture to see to whom it had been directed. Then, he saw Sam. He had a fading smile on his face and the photographer had caught him in a half turn away from a group and toward Naomi. Charlie was there, too. He had his hand out toward Sam, as if he had just nudged him or something like that.

Tim searched around to find the date.

It was the same month as Sam's mysterious mission. This must have been right before his departure. Maybe it was even a going-away party of some kind. Tim wished that he could push play on this photo and see what happened next, but in this time, still many years before digital cameras, most people were a lot more stingy with the pictures they took. In the case of this party, there was only the one picture and clearly, no one in the McGee family had taken it. The next photo was of Tim's birthday party and then, it was Sam in the hospital, patches over his eyes, although one wasn't covering the whole eye. He had burns on his face, stitches on his head, bandages on his arms...and a wide smile on his face as he received a hug from Tim. The label was simple: Sam, back home at last.

Tim hadn't remembered it being so bad, but then, again, he'd been so young and his memories were mostly centered around Sam being home more often. He sat back and thought, trying to bring up a memory of that time.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Is Daddy sick?"

"He's hurt, Tim," Naomi said. "You're going to have to be gentle, okay?"

"Can I touch him?"

"Yes, but softly."

Tim was quiet for a moment, but then, he looked up again, earnestly.

"Does that mean he's dying?"

"No! It doesn't. Why would you think that?"

"You said I had to be soft when we went to see grandma. She was dying."

"It's not about whether or not someone is dying, Tim. It's about how much it will hurt. Your dad is going to get better, but right now, he's hurt and so you need to be careful."

Tim nodded, but the closer they got to the hospital room, the more nervous he was. This was his dad, but would he even know who his dad was? It had been such a long time that he'd been gone. It felt like years.

At the door, he pulled back a little and Naomi knelt down in front of him.

"Are you scared, Tim?"

He nodded.

"You don't have to be."

"Will I know him?"

Naomi winced a little but nodded firmly. "Of course. He's your father."

"Will Daddy know who I am?"

"Of course, he will."

"He was gone a long time and you said he was hurt bad."

Now, Naomi smiled and hugged him tightly.

"Daddy will never forget you, Tim. Not ever. He's your dad and he won't ever forget who you are. He loves you."

"Okay."

They went into the room, and Tim was scared at the sight of this man who was supposed to be his dad. He was sure they were in the wrong place.

...until he heard his dad's voice. He knew that voice.

"Naomi? Is that you? The sunglasses they've given me are too thick."

Naomi pulled Tim over to the bed and he watched as she hugged Sam and kissed him gently on the forehead.

"It's me, Sam. I've been needing to hear a quote from you for months."

"A quote? I don't know if I can think of one. Can you give me a topic to get me started?"

Tim didn't know where it came from, but he suddenly thought of a quote to say.

"'But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart.'"

Sam straightened.

"Tim? Is that you taking over my job?"

"I can't remember who said it," Tim said, softly.

"Antoine de Saint-Exupery. He wrote The Little Prince."

"Oh."

"That's a good one, but I can't have my little boy showing me up. Let me think." Sam leaned back. "Ah, I have one. 'An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.' Mahatma Gandhi."

"Good, Sam," Naomi said.

"Are you going to be okay, Daddy?" Tim asked, still afraid.

Sam turned toward him.

"Absolutely, Tim. Come here."

Tim looked up at Naomi nervously, but she smiled and gestured for him to approach the bed. Tim walked to the bed and reached out to touch his dad's hand.

Before he knew it, he was being pulled up onto the bed by hands stronger than he thought possible, and he was being hugged tightly. He hugged Sam back. Yes, this was his dad. He knew him.

"I'm glad you're home, Daddy. Don't go away, again."

"I won't, son. I'm home for good."