Rising of the Moon

Part Four

Year One

Element Four

Thinking What is Eternal

Author's Note:

This will eventually be slash, but since they're all eleven right now, so no worries yet. I'll let you know when that changes.

Disclaimer: I don't own. Sorry.

Well, I'm glad everyone is liking the story! There aren't a lot of reviews, but there are a lot of hits! I totally appreicate it! It's nice to know people are reading and enjoying the story! It's keeping readers really well, which is nice, and I really wish everyone who was reading would send me a review! I'd have hundreds!

I'd like to give a special thanks to those that did review. I enjoyed them all! Thank you so much!

In any case, I hope you like the next chapter!

oOooOo

Remus sat in the window ledge in his dormitory, staring out at the almost full moon pratically radiating the sadness he felt coursing through his veins. He was clutching Conall tightly, cuddling the gray stuffed wolf with all his might, wishing the full moon would never come and he could be normal for just a little longer--or forever. He only had a few more days until he would turn into that horrible monster, that horrible horrible creature that lived inside him and howled and raged and tried to get out. But he didn't let it out until he had too.

The wolf wasn't always bad. It like Hogwarts. It wanted to sniff around this new place and see what it was like. The wolf was curious about this big castle that held so many neat scents. It didn't attack people until the full moon when it was out in full form unless Remus wasn't being fed enough. He had spent the last five years battling with the creature inside of himself to keep it from trying to eat people since his body was starving, hardly getting enough to eat for a growing child and it only got worse as he got older and needed more food, food he was never given. But now that he was eating enough, the wolf was content, most times, to be curious about the place Remus was going to school.

Now it was becoming more dominate, though, and Remus was scared. He'd found himself in the hallways sniffing things more than once because he, and the wolf, wanted to know what it smelled like. He was terrified that his friends would figure out what he was hiding, that they would figure out what he his keeping from them. It was the first full moon since he got here, and he was also scared his friends would figure out his secret just like that. He hadn't done anything so far that would tip them off, and so far they hadn't said anything. Sirius had made one comment on his teeth--his canines were larger than normal because of the wolf--but no one else had really noticed and he felt that it was okay as long as acted like everyone else.

He was also scared that he and the wolf would merge and he would only be an animal and hurt people. People had always told him that if he let the wolf merge with him it would kill everyone near-by. He tried to keep it to himself though, and hide the signs of the monster he was inside. Most werewolves, he'd figured, smiled without showing teeth so people wouldn't notice, but since they'd already seen his teeth and he'd only shruggered so they'd passed it off as some birth defect, he continued to act as he had before. Still, his friends were smart and they were bound to figure it out eventually. He bit his lip and looked over to his friends.

Sirius rolled over and nearly fell onto the floor, and James muttered something about broomsticks and dungbombs in his sleep. Remus eyes brows were cordially introduced to his hairline over the last one, something told him he did not want to know what that was about. The stone floors were nice and cool, compared to the odd sort of heat wave the latter part of the month ended up as, which was why they were all sleeping in just boxer shorts with sheets and the curtians and windows wide open. And why he was watching them in their sleep. It was too hot for him to enjoy the bed he was sleeping in, being unused to something that retained body heat so well and he was trying to cool off. His friends just happen to be amusing while they slept and Remus wanted to savor every moment he had friends, because once they found out, he'd never have friends again at the school, if he was even allowed back to the school. With that thought, Remus sent another look to his friends and headed back to his bed.

Before he fell asleep, Remus smiled at his friends, praying they didn't figure it out this year, at least, and he crawled into bed, praying for the impossible.

oOooOo

The library the next day wasn't too crowded, and it was fairly quite, unlike somedays. Remus was contentedly lounging by one window in "Their Corner". The older years stayed away from the back corner of the library, and no one seemed to know that tucked between the two large shelves near the back was a small room, probably once used as a study room, with a single table, several floor cushions, a large window that almost took up the entire back wall, and a window ledge the size of a seat with a cushion on it that went around three sides of the room.

That was Remus' and Sirius' spots, right in front of the window. Lily liked a chair pulled up to one side of the window, using the ledge as a desk, set at the perfect angle to catch the sun but not let the sun get in her eyes. James sat in or next to the doorway, usually, sprawled on one of the cusions on the floor. Serverus preferred a chair at the table oppostie from the window, though he usually leaned back and braced the chair against the wall on two legs. Lucius also preferred the table, the side that was in the sun so it warmed his back.

It was nice in there, and the group was simply enjoying one another's company, basking in the warm sun. They would have gone down to the lake but they were busy trying to actually get some work done because they were a little behind in their school work since they had been looking up blood blonds. Books were strewn around the small room, and each of them were bent over at least one book, and usually a dictionary too, trying to find something.

"Oh, hey!" Lucius held up a book and grinned proudly. "I think I've found something!"

"Really?" The group glanced at each other, then to the other boy. "What is it?"

"Not much. I've found a history on blood magic. It's really, really complicated. Sometime it takes years to complete. But I've found something easier. And better. And not quite as illegal." Lucius grinned at that last part. The others chuckled as well. Lucius tended to have a rather dry sense of humor.

The six crowded around the book, looking over each other's shoulders, shorter (Remus and Lily) in the front, taller (James and Sirius) in the back, and Serverus leaning across the table to read it upside down. That was Serverus' strange quirk. He could read and write upside down and sideways and it never failed to amaze the others. "That is easier," Sirius finally agreed. "A tattoo that can't be removed that's infused with magic. We'll be able to sense where each other is, and it will make us empathic towards each other. We won't get telepathy, but this says that no blood binding does that."

"And we can make our own marking," Lily glanced through the book, idlely flipping pages to examine the bond more colsely. "But it's going to be really, really hard. This says it tends to be difficult for some adult wizards, though there aren't really any effects if it goes wrong. It just won't work, peroid. No bond either way. And more people can be added to the original group if one so desires."

"Good. That means it's exactly what we're looking for. Luc, Sev, you two will have to do the potions. You're the best at them. . ." Sirius ran a finger down what they'd need. "But we'll have to steal some of the ingredients for the potion. And it takes almost year and a half to brew."

"That's no problem," Lucius glanced it over. "What about you guys?"

"Remus should research it. We should know exactly what it does and who created it. And if it works on muggles." James gestured to the werewolf. Remus sighed. Good, then he could make sure he could actually use it too, though he wasn't sure what he'd tell them if he couldn't. "He's the best at that. Lily and Sirius can do the charms for it. They are the best at charms, though Sirius just barely. Lily can do whatever she wants to make it work."

"Petunia's in on it?"

"Of course!" James grinned. "She'll be real helpful later, too! But what should I do?"

"You can steal our potions ingredients," Serverus grinned. "You're the best at that!" To that, James stuck his tongue out, but then grinned proudly. He was a good thief, though not quite as good as Remus. Unfortunatly, Remus didn't think stealing was the way to go so it wasn't likely he'd ever steal anything that wasn't a life or death situation.

oOooOo

Remus had never had as much fun in his life as watching the group work together. He always felt on the outside of things, looking in and wishing he was a part of it, but this time he really was a part of something. The group were his friends, though he wasn't sure how long that would last, and none of them seemed to mind that he was a foot shorter than them, or that he couldn't always keep up physically, or that he had to have Conall in his grasp a great deal of the time they were alone, or that he loved to read.

They accepted everything about him that they knew. It made him wish he could tell them what he was so they could fully accept him, but he knew if he told them they'd push him away and he didn't want to lose the only friends he'd ever really known.

Currently he was trying to keep up in a game of tag. For some reason the others liked to play games like hide and seek and tag which involved a lot of running and chasing, things Remus wasn't very good at yet. He could keep up if they were walking, but he really wasn't any good at a run for a long time. He was still far too weak. What he didn't know was that they did it to help him keep up. It helped him gain stamina and build his muscles. It was the night of the full moon and he didn't want it to come. He wanted the day to last forever so he could have his friends for just a little longer.

"Remus?" Lily called. "Are you going to come after me or not because I'm getting a little bored here."

Remus blinked and grinned. He had stopped to think and that was silly. Now was a time for fun. Even the wolf agreed. The wolf liked these people, even if they were human. In fact, Remus didn't feel at all inclined to attempt to eat them. That might change with the full moon, but the wolf considered these people his pack and James was the Alpha. Which suited Remus. Remus simply wasn't alpha material.

He dashed after Lily and managed to catch her, then took off in the other direction. No tag-backs was a wonderful rule. Unfortuantly, Lily was the fastest of the entire group and has soon tagged Serverus, who went after Lucius, and so it went, their laughter ringing over the land.

Unbeknownst to them, Albus Dumbledore, sitting in his tower, heard their laughter. He smiled and looked outside, eyes glittering. "Ah, the laughter of children," He murmured, then caught sight of Remus.

Mentally, Dumbledore compared the happy child he was looking at to the sickly boy he had seen in the orphanage just over a month ago. Remus was no longer a pale little wraith, but had a healthly flush to his skin as well as the beginnings of a tan. Lily always made sure Remus wore sun screen since he was so pale, but that was beginning to change.

The small werewolf was doing well in Hogwarts. Dumbledore smiled, wise blue eyes twinkling. Remus had shown no destructive tendencies, and had more patience that anyone Dumbledore had ever seen, including Dumbledore himself making the old wizard glad he had given the boy a chance. "I think you'll do well here, pup," Dumbledore whispered to himself. "And I also think that you should tell your friends. But you'll do that when you learn they won't leave you for something you can't help."

As though he could hear those soft spoken words of advice, Remus looked up towards the tower window where the headmaster sat and their eyes almost seemed to meet. The headmaster smiled and as fast as the moment was there it was gone and Remus was back to chasing his friends in their game.
oOooOo

Hours later Remus began to drag himself to the hospital wing, claiming he didn't feel well. He really didn't, his stomache was in knots and all he really wanted to do was cry and tell the others what he was and beg them not to hate him. Instead he walked slowly towards the hospital wing with Sirius and James. The two boys had their arms wrapped around him, and Remus was clutching Conall tightly, biting his tongue to keep from spilling everything.

The three spent their time talking about the wonderful pranks they were going to pull and how great their books were coming. Petunia had heard of their plight and sent them some nice hardcover books with heavy paper that they had the librian spell to add pages every time they need one but not appear bigger. She had also added an alphabetizing charm to it. They had told her the first part of their project--all the stuff they wanted to put in them--and the librarian had smiled, telling them she'd help anyway she could, including teaching them the spells they needed to know. Lily had added passwords later, as well as the special pranks section, and they were beautiful. On the cover, Petunia had written "Book of Shadows". Lily had giggled upon seeing it, it was a running joke between her and her sister.

She then explained. In the muggle fiction books about magic, the book they kept all their spells in was call the "Book of Shadows". So when Lily had told her sister what the books were for, it had become a joke. Lily had charmed one for Petunia to, though Petunia's was for her school work or for a diary. Petuania had loved it. And Lily had called Petunia's the "Book of Shadows" too.

The hospital wing came far too soon, and when Madame Pomfrey appeared to whisk Remus off, she kicked out Sirius and James without another word. Remus shivered, and handed her Conall, who he knew better than to take with him lest the stuffed wolf be destroyed. It would have been nice to have his friend while he waited for the change, but he knew better. There was no safe place to leave Conall and nowhere to leave anything else, either. He would have to leave his robes in the passage leading to the shrieking shack--that's what the house had been dubbed--and he knew it was going to be cold. Still, there was nothing else for it so he followed Madame Pomfrey out to the shrieking shack and smiled as she left, waiting only for Remus to hand her his robes before locking the door.

Remus shivered. He hated the wait. The transformation was slightly painful and it was hard on his body, but it was as bad as everyone made it sound. In fact, what really hurt was the halfway stage where his bones were re-arranging themselves. That was the most painful part, but Remus would always sit and breathe slowly and wait because the transformation didn't take long and it only hurt while it was happening. It was worse when he was cold, though.

A shudder ripped through his small body and Remus concentraited on his breathing. His body began to twist and writhe, but Remus gave it no thought, thinking only of his breathing and concentraiting on accepting the pain but not allowing it to hurt. Then it stopped hurting and a howl tore past his lips.

Remus remembered what he did during the transformations, no one knew that. Most werewolves did, no one believed them when they said that, though. Just as the wolf mind was always there and always aware of what Remus did, Remus knew exactly what the wolf did.

The wolf didn't like this place. It wanted out and back to Hogwarts. It would be happy and warm at Hogwarts where it would be fed--though some instinct told the wolf it wouldn't be allowed to eat the students--and warm as well as with its pack. It had looked forward to being allowed out and exploring the large and interesting castle, eating some good meat--steak was preferred when people weren't available, and playing with its packmates. Remus tried to soothe the wolf and tell it that people thought it was dangerous, but, and not for the first time, the wolf refused to listen. It bit itself and chewed on itself and threw itself at the door leaving a burn mark from the silver handle. Remus had told the headmaster to make it silver because Remus wasn't too sure if the wolf could open doors.

The wolf howled in pain and sadness, and Remus howled right along with it.

A few hours later found Remus curled up on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, bloody, torn, and in a great amount of pain. He gave a small whimper as he struggled to get to his feet. The moon had set and he had to get out. He had to move. If he didn't have the place cleaned up, Smyth would beat him something awful. The wolf in him let out a pitiful whine, and Remus echoed the sound, wincing as it irritated his sore and dry throat, and sniffed. He really wanted Conall. The wolf seemed to understand the sentiment and let out a whimper, and Remus had to agree. He hurt all over. He rolled over, struggling to get up, struggling to stand, and cried out in pain.

The wolf, unhappy that there was no food, no people, no packmates, no nifty castle, and absolutly nothing to do, had not liked the sentiment and gnawed on itself in retaliation knowing that, while it was hurting itself, it was hurting Remus too. It was a bad transformation and all Remus wanted to do was sleep, but if he didn't clean the place, Smyth would beat him or burn him with silver, two things he really didn't want because it would set back his healing and probably re-open a lot of the already closed and mending wounds.

He managed to get to his feet before he remembered that he was at Hogwarts, safe from the violent headmaster and his objects of torture. A cry of pain passed his lips when his hand found the silver burn and he swayed unsteadily. He managed three steps; then, his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor, his head meeting the wood with a heavy crack.

And everything was black.

oOooOo