Blaze: here's chapter 4
Darth: that's cool
Blaze: yeah
Darth: so
Blaze: yeah, here's chapter 4 and I hope that you like it
Voicemail
By xXJedi Knight BlazeXx
Obi-Wan Kenobi's Voicemail
During The Clone Wars
Hello, you have reached the voicemail box of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, otherwise known as the Negotiator. I am not here to take your message right now because I am busy keeping my hot-headed former Padawan from leaping straight into the middle of danger or fighting Separatists. Please leave a message and…What the hell are you doing, Anakin? No, this is my message. Get away from here. No, I don't have anything to eat, go to the Temple's kitchen. Oh shut up, I'm about to run out of tim…
Beep
Hello Master, so did you ever find out who took my comlink?
And how the hell did my lightsaber end up in Black Sun's territory? I thought for sure I had left it in the Senate building when I was speaking with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine.
Also, when the hell are you going to come pick me up? Force, I hate this blasted rock and…what was that? Damn, I'm out of time, Master, I'll call you back later
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Master Jedi, it's Senator Amidala, did you ever find Anakin because I can't find him?
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Hello Obi-Wan, it's Satine. You haven't replied to any of my messages, do you not like me anymore since we parted ways after the crisis on Mandalore? Give me a call back please, I eagerly await your reply.
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Master Unduli here, Obi-Wan, why was Anakin Skywalker's apprentice prancing down the hallways, painting pink all over the walls?
And has Skywalker returned yet?
Scratch that, I just saw him enter the Jedi Temple.
Beep
Thanks a lot Master, I had to hitch a ride on a random freighter to get back to Coruscant. And what's the big fuss about? I hear Palpatine, Senator Amidala, Mace, Ahsoka, you, Dooku, Grievous and this random witch named Blaze were looking for me. I was just on Tatooine paying my respects to my mother.
By the way, do you still have my lightsaber?
And did you ever find my comlink?
No, never mind, Jax had it all along.
Beep
Windu here,
We found Skywalker and he's pretty confused by everyone's frantic search for him when he was just on Tatooine paying his respects to his mother and…wait a minute. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU CRASHED MY STARFIGHTER ON TATOOINE? AND WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TAKE YOUR STARFIGHTER?
(In the background: I accidentally locked myself out of it and I couldn't find Artoo!)
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'Soka here, thank the Force Anakin's back but he's still looking for you. Please don't tell me you disappeared off the face of Coruscant as well.
Beep
Satine here, thanks for giving me a call back and I understand that you are busy but you could at least call once or twice.
Beep
Windu here
Excuse my earlier outburst but Anakin is going to have to buy me a new starfighter and…hey! What are you doing? Get away from my speeder! Rex and Ahsoka just barely repainted that, Skywalker, don't you dare…That does it, you'd better come and get your former apprentice before I toss him into the depths of space!
Beep
Anakin here, hahahahaha, that was hilarious and…who are you? Oh, thanks. Um, why were you searching for me? I don't know you. Um, I wasn't yelling. No, I wasn't. I'm telling you I wasn't yelling! Oh God, that time I did yell but…don't cry, please don't cry. I gotta go, Master.
Beep
'Soka here, hahahaha, Anakin is back to his usual tricks though Mace is about ready to toss him into space.
Um, I'd better go before Anakin upsets another witch of Dathomir
Beep
Satine here
Sure I would like to go out to dinner but not on Corellia.
By the way, did you ever find your wayward former apprentice?
Beep
Anakin here, why haven't you given me my lightsaber again? And don't go on with that 'this weapon is your life' crap, I get it! And…hmmm? What was that? I'm kinda talking with someone right now. Okay, okay, don't yell. Sure, we can get a caf when I finish with this message. Yeah, I know I'm still on it. What's that got to do with anything? I'm just taking someone out to get a caf, that's not against the Jedi Code. If it where, great, I don't want my melodramtic, overly sensitive stubborn, not listening master to shove it down my throat. Um, my comlink's still on, isn't it? Crap
Beep
'Soka here, I think I just saw Skyguy running down the streets of Coruscant into a cantina. Yeah, on second thought, I don't wanna know.
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It's Commander Cody, General, General Skywalker tells me that you got pretty mad at him for the insults he threw at you. I just wanted to let you know that if you don't get General Skywalker soon, he's going to…whoa! That was one big crash!
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It's Captain Rex, General, General Skywalker accidentally crashed General Windu's speeder into a nearby cantina. Uh, I think he hit the whisky to hard.
Beep
WOOHOOO! WHAT A THRILL!
Beep
Windu here
GET YOUR WAYWARD FORMER APPRENTICE BACK TO THE JEDI TEMPLE BEFORE HE DESTROYS ANOTHER OF MY BELONGINGS!
Beep
Master Kenobi, it's Palpatine. Why was Anakin dancing down the hallways of the Senate building singing "I'm a pretty butterfly" over and over again? I think he drank too much at the cantina next to the one he crashed into.
By the way, the owner of that cantina is suing you to pay for the damages Anakin caused.
Beep
Yoda this is,
Drunk your former Padawan is.
Annoying the senators, singing a song called "It's a small world" over and over again he is.
Get him back to the Temple you will now!
Beep
It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, It's a small world after all, it's a small world after…
Beep
'Soka here, Master Skywalker finally passed out but I need help dragging him back to the Temple.
Oh never mind, Rex came by to help me.
Oh thank you, I think you're sweet too.
Aw, that's sweet, I like you too.
Uh, what was that? Crap, my comlink's still on isn't it? Great
Beep
Windu here
Skywalker has been put in his quarters so that he could sober up before he destroys something else here.
By the way, the owner of that cantina your former Padawan crashed into is suing us, you're paying him, Obi-Wan, 'cause I'm not.
Beep
Yoda this is
Glad Skywalker's sobering up I am but pay for the damages done to the cantina you are, your Padawan he once was.
Beep
'Soka here, Skyguy just woke up and, well, he's a bit hungover and he's in a bad mood. I'll give you a warning, don't, whatever you do, don't do anything loud around him. I'm telling you, it's not worth it. I've got a knot in my head the size of an apple for waking him up.
Beep
WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST COME RUNNING INTO MY ROOM, SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS, PLAYING EVERYTHING LOUDLY AND THEN SLAMMING THE DOOR BEHIND YOU. WHEN I FIND YOU, I'M GOING TO TOSS YOU OFF OF THE JEDI TEMPLE!!!!!!
Beep
He doesn't mean that, Obi-Wan, he's just hungover.
Beep
This is Nala Guian, the owner of the cantina that Jedi crashed into. The charges have been dropped thanks to the gracious Supreme Chancellor Palpatine who paid for the damages but Jedi Skywalker is officially banned from this, and any other cantina, on Coruscant.
Beep
Obi-Wan Kenobi,
You cannot find me, mwahahahahahaha
Beep
Satine here, Obi-Wan. I hear you had a mishap with that wayward fellow Jedi of yours. I do not like violence and therefore I do not care for what happened to that cantina. If I were you, I would watch over that Jedi and make sure he doesn't end up destroying anything else.
Beep
Windu here
Skywalker yelled at me to leave him alone and then tossed his lightsaber at me, how he got that back I don't know. I think he's still hungover and I won't tolerate him doing that again. If he ever gets drunk again, make sure he sobers up before he returns to the Jedi Temple.
Yeah, I'm entrusting that on you because you are the only one that he will listen to, other than Senator Amidala and Chancellor Palpatine but still.
By the way, Anakin still owes me a new starfighter and a new speeder.
Beep
Thank the Force that hangover is over but why is everyone glaring at me? What did I do? Ugh, I don't remember anything from the night before. The last thing I remember was talking with that witch from Dathomir Blaze and then nothing.
I guess that's what Corellian whisky does to you.
Yeah, I do remember that, tell Nala that I'm sorry.
Beep
Satine here, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel on that dinner date to Naboo. I have a meeting with the Neutral Planets on that day, maybe another time.
Beep
Mr. Kenobi,
Your reservations at the Theed Restaurant have been cancelled but if you would like, we will put you on the wait list and give you a call when a reservation is available.
Beep
'Soka here, Mace isn't happy. The minute Anakin was out of the Jedi Temple, he highjacked Mace's other speeder and hasn't been seen since.
Beep
Obi-Wan, Anakin's here and I think he's still a bit hungover. Do you want to come and give him a lift back to the Temple? And why did he come up in a pink speeder?
Beep
I'M GOING TO KILL SKYWALKER!
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SCRATCH THAT, I'M GOING TO KILL THAT APPRENTICE OF HIS
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Blaze here, hiya.
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Windu here,
Commander Cody is angry at Skywalker for putting the blame for my speeder being pink and highjacked on him and then Skywalker told him that Ahsoka did it so now he's angry at Ahsoka.
Skywalker's here, I think I'm going to have a looooooooooooong talk with him.
Beep
Qui-Gon here. I'll make this quick before the Force and the other ghosts find out I'm possessing someone to talk to you. Ahem, anyway, what's this I hear about all the trouble Anakin's been in? Hahahahaha. At least he isn't out there killing innocent people and enforcing the will of a malicious and idiotic Sith Master. Hahahahahahaha, yeah, like that would happen. I'd better go, bye Obi-Wan.
Beep
A/n what do you think?
Blaze: for the next one, I want your opinion
Darth: yeah
Blaze: but it's going to be a specific era, I want to know which voicemail I should do next set in the Original Trilogy era
Darth: that's cool
Blaze: so please review and post who you want me to do next. Remember: Original Trilogy
Darth: okay
Blaze: please review and I'll post chapter 5 as soon as I possibly can but I doubt it will be anytime soon.