TITLE: Dude! Put some pants on!
Aphrodite P.O.V
'I can't wait to start messing with the demigods love lives. Just because the girl's a follower of the Eternal boy hater doesn't mean I can't mess with her before her vow, and maybe after, depends on how much fun I'm having. Probably be a few centuries before then, who knows' Aphrodite mused, 'and the child of Hades, I'm thinking I'll let him find love on his own. Corpse lover's kids aren't fun to mess with, they don't find or show Love well, Poseidon's boy however… I'm going to have a lot of fun with him. They're always so passionate and protective combined with their powers, Hmmm… I haven't set up one of Uncle's kids with one of Feathers for a while. They're always a perfect match the Athenian plans and the Atlantian improvises and their parents, at least on Poseidon's end, act more civil towards each other. The relationships are always so tragic.' Aphrodite frowned, 'No wonder Uncle dislikes Athena so much 60% of the time she's behind the death, pain or failure of one of his children or helps the perpetrator escape, sometimes both, such as with Polyphemus the Cyclops*, John Barry*1, George Dewey *2 or Robert Blake*3.*7 But Oh! Such fun. It'll be like Helen and Paris all over again"
Apollo waved his hand in the air bouncing on his throne "Oh, oh, me, me, pick me"
Zeus sighed as the demigods smothered their laughs and instructed Athena to toss the book to him. Apollo spread his arms and coughed dramatically before proceeding to announce that…
Grover Unexpectedly Loses his Pants
Hermes snorted
Confession time:
"I've killed lots of animals" The Huntress-Who-could-do-with-touch-of-foundation-and -a-little-midnight-blue-makeup-around-her-black-ey e-makeup-to-bring-her-eyes-out-and-for-her-freckle s-to-stand-out-more bluntly stated causing everyone to stare at her and her to shrug "what? In my defence they tried to kill me first"
Hades' way-too-pale-but-I-can-work-with-that-boy grinned and said "Are we giving our confessions to the Gods? Because I've assisted my dad in thinking of new tortures for the eternally damned. It's fun" and turned to the wonderfully-tanned-skinned-son-of-Poseidon-with-wi ndblown-hair-and-all-natural-greek-good-looks-Pers eus Jackson who frowned and asked,
"Does that time when you were hyped up on Mountain Dew and Thalia was being particularly irritating which caused me to snap and cause a hurricane that caused Manhattan to lose electricity for three days count or does it have to be something I meant to do?" you'd think that Uncle P would be disapproving but he looked amused that his son had caused a minor disaster. The girl grinned and stated,
"That'll do" Apollo smirked and said
"My confession is that I caved into temptation and lust and…" 'Aww, so sweet'
"Nobody particularly wants to know about your conquests right now, mate" Hermes chuckled
I ditched Grover as soon as we got to the bus terminal.
Nico raised his eyebrow, "That's not like you." The son of the Ocean shrugged and declared,
"He was freaking me out, better to get away before I did something I'd regret."
I know, I know. It was rude. But Grover was freaking me out, looking at me like I was a dead man, muttering "Why does this always happen?" and "Why does it always have to be sixth grade?"
"Make a memo boys, I'm going to get it through Goat boys head that it wasn't his fault if it's the last thing I ever do." Thalia stated as Zeus' eyes glinted dangerously.
No P.O.V
Whenever he got upset, Grover's bladder acted up, so I wasn't surprised when, as soon as we got off the bus, he made me promise to wait for him, then made a beeline for the restroom.
"Does this happen for all Satyrs or just Grover, I know the Panes*4 react like that but they rarely care where they go and who or what they go in front of." Hermes pondered causing Aphrodite to shiver in disgust
Instead of waiting, I got my suitcase, slipped outside, and caught the first taxi uptown.
Poseidon shifted slightly in his throne 'That Slob better not harm my child again. I hate the situation any way no need to advertise it and I doubt Perce would appreciate it too much' he sighed 'at least it never got too bad, so far at least'
"East One-hundred-and-fourth and First," I told the driver.
A word about my mother, before you meet her.
"Awesome." Nico stated,
Thalia grinned, "Sweet."
Her name is Sally Jackson and she's the best person in the world, which just proves my theory that the best people have the rottenest luck.
"Nah that's just you Cuz, She had half of your DNA so until you were born she had your luck" Thalia teased. Poseidon frowned, worried.
Nico said "You do have incredibly bad luck," he leaned into Percy seeking confirmation that he's still there, "but then again in order to survive with said bad luck you'd need very, very, very, very, very, very, very," Percy lightly slapped his head,
"Are you done?"
He grinned "Not quite, very good luck" Poseidon's complexion paled by about two shades, unnoticeable unless you were looking for it. "But then again having that luck means your luck isn't that bad, but the fact that you need it means it's terrible. It's all one vicious circle. Sort of gives you hope doesn't it, just too cruelly yank it out from under you like Sisyphus and his rock." He trailed of sadly
"It's sad isn't it if you go by that logic it means that something really bad is about to happen to us when we get back, confirmed I guess by that letter we were given (with TLH, SoN, MoA, HoH)" Thalia half teased. The Gods nervously looked at each other as Poseidon lightly scowled; let's just say that the sailors and trawler men are starting to experience powerful waves and not so fruitful hauls.
Her own parents died in a plane crash when she was five,
Poseidon glared at Zeus almost playfully*5
and she was raised by an uncle who didn't care much about her. She wanted to be a novelist, so she spent high school working to save enough money for a college with a good creative-writing program.
"Wow, well done, Ol' Seaweed's finally found an intelligent maiden to woo." Athena smirked
"Just because you like nerds doesn't mean I have to like one Owl head, you like people who know random facts I like those who have a personality, it's an added bonus if they know about or enjoy the Sea." Poseidon retorted
"At least…" Athena started,
"Your dates can win a Pub quiz" Poseidon inserted to Athena's steadily growing ire and everyone else's amusement
"Oh, at least I can get one; I'm amazed you can even get a date Fish Breath. Your preferred clothing is that of a beach bum." Poseidon just shrugged amused and said,
"I like looking like an as you say 'Beach Bum' better than a museum curator Yellow feet."
"At least I don't have scales." She growled
"I only have scales if I want them*6 and right now I don't. Besides I'd rather have scales than mottled feathers."
Just as she was about to retort Nico whispered loudly (does that make sense?) "Hey Perce they remind me of you and Annabeth." Thalia snorted and said,
"It does doesn't it. Sadly this means they're only going to stop when they (a) get distracted by something major or (b) start trying to kill each other," the just so her cousins can hear, "or (c) in which one of them spontaneously grabs the other and start kissing like their lives depend on it and frankly I doubt it in this case." Percy elbowed her painfully in the gut causing her to wheeze and glare at him as sparks flittered over her skin. The two Gods stopped arguing and stared at them as Apollo and Hermes snorted but just before a fight broke out between the two young demigods, Zeus motioned for Apollo to read and Thalia reluctantly uncurled her fist.
Then her uncle got cancer, and she had to quit school her senior year to take care of him. After he died, she was left with no money, no family, and no diploma.
Artemis frowned sadly
The only good break she ever got was meeting my dad.
Poseidon smiled tenderly
I don't have any memories of him, just this sort of warm glow, maybe the barest trace of his smile.
"Did you visit him brother" Zeus threatened, Percy looked up towards his dad curiously
"Yes, I did dear brother. Why do you ask?" his dad said smiling mischievously
"How many times?" Zeus said gritting his teeth
"How many times did I visit him and be within touching distance or how many times my essence has been near him? Because the second I can't really answer maybe once a week at most just to speed up any healing needed and to check in but that was only during the school holidays, mostly any way." at this he glanced at Percy, who blushed and nodded knowing what he was hinting at, "The first however only a handful of times and most of them he was either asleep or didn't see me. And Zeus before you go crazy can I say everyone visits their kids and while I was around more than usual, can I say I only have one child and you're out to kill him at a moment's notice. Frankly I think I'm aloud to keep an eye on him don't you think?" Zeus growled and motioned Apollo to continue.
My mom doesn't like to talk about him because it makes her sad. She has no pictures. See, they weren't married. She told me he was rich and important, and their relationship was a secret. Then one day, he set sail across the Atlantic on some important journey, and he never came back.
Lost at sea, my mom told me. Not dead. Lost at sea.
"Clever" Hermes approved, "She's telling you an abstract version of the truth. It's completely open to interpretation, even better than a lie in this case and you can't be angry at the for not telling you when you find out because she did tell you"
She worked odd jobs, took night classes to get her high school diploma, and raised me on her own. She never complained or got mad.
"That's a talent mother's never going to learn." Hephaestus muttered
Not even once. But I knew I wasn't an easy kid.
"That's an understatement." Thalia declared, "That's like saying Poseidon likes water or Hephaestus is okay with mechanics" The Gods all raised an eyebrow as Percy scowled at her sadly the effect was ruined by his blush
Finally, she married Gabe Ugliano,
"Who's that?" Nico asked confused
"Yeah I thought she's marrying Mr. Blowfish this year" Thalia said frowning trying to remember if she'd heard that name before
"Blofis actually and Gabe," he sneered the name his eyes glinting angrily but his facial expression changed to unreadable, "was the creep she married to keep me alive. Though with what he was doing to her I'd rather she hadn't."
"What do you mean?" Nico asked warily, surprisingly it wasn't Percy who answered but Poseidon, who also looked unreadable but calmly said,
"I have a feeling this book is going to tell us if Apollo continues"
who was nice the first thirty seconds we knew him, then showed his true colours as a world-class jerk.
Artemis nodded grimly starting to suspect where this was going, the stories her Sisters had told her…
When I was young, I nick named him Smelly Gabe. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. The guy reeked like mouldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts.
Athena looked thoughtfully at the book forming her theories; it was obvious that Sea foam knew something otherwise he wouldn't be so unreadable right now. It must be bad but necessary, hmm…
Between the two of us, we made my mom's life pretty hard. The way Smelly Gabe treated her,
Artemis gritted her teeth at how ominous that sounded for the poor woman
the way he and I got along ... well, when I came home is a good example.
I walked into our little apartment, hoping my mom would be home from work. Instead, Smelly Gabe was in the living room, playing poker with his buddies. The television blared ESPN.
"Typical male!" Artemis spat, "Partaking in gambling and sport." Apollo frowned at her and protested,
"Hey! Sis not a lot of men act like that, in fact as far as I know none of the Gods act like that. Not even Dionysus, he just occasionally pretends to act like that! You know this"
Dionysus' "I can act however I want!" has smothered by an almost screech of
"Don't call me sis! And not everything is Sunshine and Daisies Apollo like the impression you seem to be under. You're always partying and…"
"Oi! I never said anything was sunshine and daisies. Sis and unlike you've seem to have forgotten I'm not all Light and no Burn I can be serious when I deem something worth being serious about such as my Oracle in danger or you in…"
"I have fun on my hunts and I don't need a male too…"
"Quiet this argument isn't going to finish any time soon so I'd appreciate it if you continued reading" Zeus interrupted sharply, reluctantly Apollo did so
Chips and beer cans were strewn all over the carpet.
Artemis huffed pointedly as if her point was proved and most of the Gods rolled their eyes
Hardly looking up, he said around his cigar, "So, you're home."
"I don't like him" Thalia stated. Nico nodded.
"Where's my mom?"
"Working," he said. "You got any cash?"
"He asked you for cash!" Thalia practically growled as Poseidon's eyes darkened
That was it. No Welcome back. Good to see you. How has your life been the last six months?
"You've been gone for six months and that was the first thing he said to you?" Hestia asked Percy nodded his eyes on his father
Gabe had put on weight. He looked like a tuskless walrus in thrift-store clothes.
"Ew." Demeter said as Aphrodite shivered looking ready to throw up
He had about three hairs on his head, all combed over his bald scalp, as if that made him handsome or something.
"For him to be handsome he'd need more than a makeover. He'd need to change himself" Aphrodite managed, "and I think it is safe to say that it's not going to happen"
He managed the Electronics Mega-Mart in Queens, but he stayed home most of the time.
I don't know why he hadn't been fired long before.
Poseidon scowled and said in clipped tones, "That is because of me" Everyone looked at him disbelieving, "You needed more money than what your mum could get and as much as I hate it you needed him to be there so you could stay hidden"
He just kept on collecting paychecks, spending the money on cigars that made me nauseous, and on beer, of course. Always beer.
"Man, I know how that feels." Thalia said
Whenever I was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our "guy secret." Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out.
"Did he punch you?" Nico asked his brown eyes darkening to black. Percy sighed but answered truthfully
"Occasionally but I soon learnt to be able to predict when I was pushing and to leave before one of us snapped, but it wasn't too bad just a few bad bruises but they healed quick enough. Though I'm starting to guess dad had something to do with that" Poseidon nodded tersely as Nico started attracting shadows and Talia sparked in their seats.
"I don't have any cash," I told him.
He raised a greasy eyebrow. Gabe could sniff out money like a bloodhound, which was surprising, since his own smell should've covered up everything else.
Athena's eyes widened as she figured out the situation and muttered, "That's clever actually. Get a mortal bad enough but just tolerable and is un-hygienic enough to release a powerful scent and any demigod who doesn't know they're one can be successfully hidden for years at a time. But the mortal would have to be so vile that…."
"You took a taxi from the bus station," he said. "Probably paid with a twenty. Got six, seven bucks in change. Somebody expects to live under this roof, he ought to carry his own weight. Am I right, Eddie?"
"Wow, I didn't think it had a brain!" Hermes exclaimed genuinely astonished
Eddie, the super of the apartment building, looked at me with a twinge of sympathy. "Come on, Gabe," he said. "The kid just got here."
"At least one of them has manners." Hera approved
"Am I right?" Gabe repeated.
Eddie scowled into his bowl of pretzels. The other two guys passed gas in harmony.
"On second thoughts… I'll take that back for you." Demeter groaned disgusted "A harvest behind a plough should help this… Eddie, I'm not sure about the others they'll need much longer seven years maybe, Gabriel even longermuch longer."
"You know for once you talking about the Harvest doesn't give me an urge to slap you." Hades commented
"Fine," I said. I dug a wad of dollars out of my pocket and threw the money on the table. "I hope you lose."
"Your report card came, brain boy!"
"Oh please Percy's the opposite of brain boy. He's… dead brained boy." Nico teased to lighten the atmosphere
"Nah, that's you Nico, Percy's too water logged to have a brain that's why he's called Seaweed brain." Thalia absentmindedly corrected causing Percy roll his eyes
he shouted after me. "I wouldn't act so snooty!"
I slammed the door to my room, which really wasn't my room. During school months, it was Gabe's "study." He didn't study anything in there except old car magazines, but he loved shoving my stuff in the closet, leaving his muddy boots on my windowsill, and doing his best to make the place smell like his nasty cologne and cigars and stale beer.
"Nice." Hermes stated
I dropped my suitcase on the bed. Home sweet home.
"Sarcasm, you've gotta' love it" Nico grinned with his cousins
Gabe's smell was almost worse than the nightmares about Mrs. Dodds, or the sound of that old fruit lady's shears snipping the yarn.
"Wow, he just gets more appealing the more I learn about him" Apollo snickered
But as soon as I thought that, my legs felt weak. I remembered Grover's look of panic—how he'd made me promise I wouldn't go home without him. A sudden chill rolled through me. I felt like someone—something—was looking for me right now, maybe pounding its way up the stairs, growing long, horrible talons.
Everyone nervously shifted in their thrones
Then I heard my mom's voice. "Percy?"
She opened the bedroom door, and my fears melted. My mother can make me feel good just by walking into the room.
"Aww" Hera, Demeter and Aphrodite cooed.
Her eyes sparkle and change colour in the light. Her smile is as warm as a quilt. She's got a few grey streaks mixed in with her long brown hair, but I never think of her as old.
Poseidon smiled sadly
When she looks at me, it's like she's seeing all the good things about me, none of the bad. I've never heard her raise her voice or say an unkind word to anyone, not even me or Gabe.
"Oh, Percy." She hugged me tight. "I can't believe it. You've grown since Christmas!"
"That generally tends to happen" Dionysus yawned earning glares of the demigods.
Her red-white-and-blue Sweet on America uniform smelled like the best things in the world: chocolate, licorice, and all the other stuff she sold at the candy shop in Grand Central. She'd brought me a huge bag of "free samples," the way she always did when I came home.
"I want free samples" Apollo whined Hermes grinned and snapped his fingers giving Apollo and himself a large bowl of sweets and upon seeing the Demigods pleading looks snapped them a bowl to share as well causing the big three to groan and hope that they wouldn't have to put up with sugar high children later.
We sat together on the edge of the bed. While I attacked the blueberry sour strings, she ran her hand through my hair and demanded to know everything I hadn't put in my letters. She didn't mention anything about my getting expelled. She didn't seem to care about that. But was I okay? Was her little boy doing all right?
I told her she was smothering me, and to lay off and all that, but secretly, I was really, really glad to see her.
"You should tell her that boy, I sure as Hades never get told it" Hera mentioned Hades glared at her in irritation
Ares shrugged and said "only if you start a war"
"You don't deserve it so why would I" Hephaestus grunted
From the other room, Gabe yelled, "Hey, Sally—how about some bean dip, huh?"
Poseidon gritted his teeth along with most everyone else.
I gritted my teeth. My mom is the nicest lady in the world. She should've been married to a millionaire, not to some jerk like Gabe.
For her sake, I tried to sound upbeat about my last days at Yancy Academy. I told her I wasn't too down about the expulsion. I'd lasted almost the whole year this time. I'd made some new friends. I'd done pretty well in Latin.
"Yeah why is that? Most demigods struggle with it a lot but I seem to pick it up almost as fast as ancient Greek." Percy asked causing Hera to shift on her throne and prompting Poseidon to say,
"I didn't change much in the transition to Rome so my roman knowledge can sometimes flow into my Greek," he frowned, "it's rare but you can get a little bit of roman knowledge, not much, but some.*8"
"Oh,"
Thalia snorted "Typical Percy answer"
And honestly, the fights hadn't been as bad as the headmaster said. I liked Yancy Academy. I really did. I put such a good spin on the year, I almost convinced myself.
I started choking up, thinking about Grover and Mr. Brunner. Even Nancy Bobofit suddenly didn't seem so bad. Until that trip to the museum ...
"What?" my mom asked. Her eyes tugged at my conscience, trying to pull out the secrets. "Did something scare you?"
"Yes" Thalia said
"No, Mom."
I felt bad lying. I wanted to tell her about Mrs. Dodds and the three old ladies with the yarn, but I thought it would sound stupid.
"She can see through the mist and once I found out she was pregnant I explained things to her." Poseidon explained, "She'd understand"
She pursed her lips. She knew I was holding back, but she didn't push me.
"I have a surprise for you," she said. "We're going to the beach."
Poseidon grinned in anticipation
My eyes widened. "Montauk?"
Percy blushed and grinned at his dad, eyes sparkling like a clear lake
"Three nights—same cabin."
"When?"
She smiled. "As soon as I get changed."
I couldn't believe it. My mom and I hadn't been to Montauk the last two summers, because Gabe said there wasn't enough money.
Poseidon growled, "I made sure you had enough money, what does that slob spend it on surely it can't all be gambling funds"
Gabe appeared in the doorway and growled, "Bean dip, Sally? Didn't you hear me?"
I wanted to punch him, but I met my mom's eyes and I understood she was offering me a deal: be nice to Gabe for a little while. Just until she was ready to leave for Montauk. Then we would get out of here.
"I was on my way, honey," she told Gabe. "We were just talking about the trip."
Gabe's eyes got small. "The trip? You mean you were serious about that?"
"She wouldn't have brought it up if she wasn't serious about it" Athena stated
"I knew it," I muttered. "He won't let us go."
"Of course he will," my mom said evenly. "Your step father is just worried about money. That's all. Besides," she added, "Gabriel won't have to settle for bean dip. I'll make him enough seven-layer dip for the whole weekend. Guacamole. Sour cream. The works."
"Bribery works 10/10 if you get the right price." Hermes approved
Gabe softened a bit. "So this money for your trip ... it comes out of your clothes budget, right?"
"What!?," Aphrodite exclaimed, "No lady should have to give up her clothes."
"Not everyone cares about clothes Barbie." Artemis said as her brother continued reading
"Yes, honey," my mother said.
"And you won't take my car anywhere but there and back."
"We'll be very careful."
Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with that seven-layer dip... And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."
"'Cause that's going to happen" Nico snapped shaking slightly from his sugar rush
Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing soprano for a week.
Hades smirked approvingly as everyone grinned at the thought and Ares cheered anticipating a fight.
But my mom's eyes warned me not to make him mad. Why did she put up with this guy? I wanted to scream. Why did she care what he thought?
"Yes why?" asked Thalia irritated muscles twitching restraining her from hyper activity
"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm really sorry I interrupted your incredibly important poker game. Please go back to it right now."
"And the sarcasm strikes again." Nico snickered
Gabe's eyes narrowed. His tiny brain was probably trying to detect sarcasm in my statement. "Yeah, whatever," he decided. He went back to his game.
"Wow." Said Thalia dumbfounded
"How did he not notice that!?" Apollo asked
"The kids got talent" Hermes smirked causing Dionysus to snort and say
"A talent for trouble."
"Thank you, Percy," my mom said. "Once we get to Montauk, we'll talk more about... whatever you've forgotten to tell me, okay?"
"She should have made you tell her." Athena shook her head
For a moment, I thought I saw anxiety in her eyes—the same fear I'd seen in Grover during the bus ride—as if my mom too felt an odd chill in the air. But then her smile returned, and I figured I must have been mistaken.
"You should trust your instincts." Poseidon commented seriously
She ruffled my hair and went to make Gabe his seven-layer dip.
An hour later we were ready to leave.
Gabe took a break from his poker game long enough to watch me lug my mom's bags to the car. He kept griping and groaning about losing her cooking—and more important, his '78 Camaro—for the whole weekend.
"We-el, he's got his priorities right," Apollo commented just before Artemis slapped him, the sound echoing throughout the throne room
"Not a scratch on this car, brain boy," he warned me as I loaded the last bag. "Not one little scratch."
"Why's he saying that to you?" Nico asked, "Did you used to go around scratching cars in your spare time?" Percy just shrugged, smiling.
Like I'd be the one driving.
I was twelve. But that didn't matter to Gabe. If a seagull so much as pooped on his paint job, he'd find a way to blame me.
"I'm sure seagulls like you, Fish boy, you probably smell like fish to them and if they follow you into a water source you'll soon be surrounded by a fish dinner." Thalia sniped
"She's right, when we went to the aquarium, indecently I'm choosing the next trip, the fish looked at me weirdly," Nico paused trying to remember what he was saying, "Any way, the fish at the aquarium swarmed you. It was funny, do you remember everyone's faces as like 15 sharks practically charged towards you trying to get your attention?" he broke off snickering, "it was like a feeding frenzy with no food. What did they say it was?"
Percy chuckled, "'A RARE PHENOMENOM NEVER BEFORE SEEN IN SHARKS IN CAPTIVITY' the other fish were either much more discreet or less noticeable when they go crazy luckily they mostly wanted to gossip about me than play with me."
Watching him lumber back toward the apartment building, I got so mad I did something I can't explain. As Gabe reached the doorway, I made the hand gesture I'd seen Grover make on the bus, a sort of warding-off-evil gesture, a clawed hand over my heart, then a shoving movement toward Gabe. The screen door slammed shut so hard it whacked him in the butt and sent him flying up the staircase as if he'd been shot from a cannon.
Zeus and Hades grumbled as Poseidon grinned and said, "That was your power over storms showing up. Keep practicing and you'll be able to sustain a powerful hurricane."
Maybe it was just the wind, or some freak accident with the hinges, but I didn't stay long enough to find out.
I got in the Camaro and told my mom to step on it.
"Good-bye Gabe, Hello freedom!" Hermes cheered.
Our rental cabin was on the south shore, way out at the tip of Long Island. It was a little pastel box with faded curtains, half sunken into the dunes. There was always sand in the sheets and spiders in the cabinets,
"Well you're not going to be taking Annabeth there unless you spring clean Water buoy" (get it? Boy, buoy? Oh your no fun) Thalia laughed as Percy groaned
and most of the time the sea was too cold to swim in.
Dionysus snorted "Like you care"
I loved the place.
"Of course." Athena rolled her eyes in disgust
We'd been going there since I was a baby. My mom had been going even longer. She never exactly said, but I knew why the beach was special to her. It was the place where she'd met my dad.
"Aww," Aphrodite cooed
As we got closer to Montauk, she seemed to grow younger, years of worry and work disappearing from her face. Her eyes turned the colour of the sea.
"So sweet." Aphrodite continued
We got there at sunset, opened all the cabin's windows, and went through our usual cleaning routine. We walked on the beach, fed blue corn chips to the seagulls, and munched on blue jelly beans, blue saltwater taffy, and all the other free samples my mom had brought from work.
"Why is everything blue, I noticed it earlier but thought it was just a fluke? Surely it should be green that's the king Fish's colour." Zeus asked causing Hades to roll his eyes and Poseidon to smirk
I guess I should explain the blue food.
"Ask and you shall be answered." Apollo exclaimed
See, Gabe had once told my mom there was no such thing. They had this fight, which seemed like a really small thing at the time. But ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue.
Hermes whispered to Apollo, "Kinda' like Hephaestus going out of his way to embarrass his wife and Ares, or Hera in catching father cheating and then, of course, father going out of his way to not be caught doing so by turning himself into a swan or cow or something don't you think?" causing snickers to erupt between the two recalling past situations like that.
"Would it not get irritating eating things the same colour and flavour continuously?" Artemis asked in which Percy answered with a shrug
She baked blue birthday cakes. She mixed blueberry smoothies. She bought blue-corn tortilla chips and brought home blue candy from the shop. This—along with keeping her maiden name, Jackson, rather than calling herself Mrs. Ugliano—was proof that she wasn't totally suckered by Gabe. She did have a rebellious streak, like me.
"Poor you, you were double cursed, both your mum and dad's rebelliousness gave you no room for the survival instincts to know when to shut up." Nico said sadly looking at Percy
"You have more than a rebellious streak; it's more like you've got an obedience streak." Thalia said
When it got dark, we made a fire. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. Mom told me stories about when she was a kid, back before her parents died in the plane crash. She told me about the books she wanted to write someday, when she had enough money to quit the candy shop.
Eventually, I got up the nerve to ask about what was always on my mind whenever we came to Montauk—my father.
Poseidon looked wary at that
Mom's eyes went all misty. I figured she would tell me the same things she always did, but I never got tired of hearing them.
The Sea god smiled sadly
"He was kind, Percy," she said. "Tall, handsome, and powerful. But gentle, too. You have his black hair, you know, and his green eyes." Mom fished a blue jelly bean out of her candy bag. "I wish he could see you, Percy. He would be so proud."
"I am." He proclaimed
I wondered how she could say that. What was so great about me? A dyslexic, hyperactive boy with a D+ report card, kicked out of school for the sixth time in six years.
"I don't care about that." He grinned
"How old was I?" I asked. "I mean ... when he left?"
She watched the flames. "He was only with me for one summer, Percy. Right here at this beach. This cabin."
"But... he knew me as a baby."
"No, honey. He knew I was expecting a baby, but he never saw you. He had to leave before you were born."
I tried to square that with the fact that I seemed to remember ... something about my father. A warm glow. A smile.
Zeus glared daggers at Poseidon who cheekily saluted him smirking
I had always assumed he knew me as a baby. My mom had never said it outright, but still, I'd felt it must be true. Now, to be told that he'd never even seen me...
I felt angry at my father.
Now Poseidon winced as Percy smiled apologetically at him
Maybe it was stupid, but I resented him for going on that ocean voyage, for not having the guts to marry my mom. He'd left us, and now we were stuck with Smelly Gabe.
"Are you going to send me away again?" I asked her. "To another boarding school?"
She pulled a marshmallow from the fire. "I don't know, honey." Her voice was heavy. "I think... I think we'll have to do something."
"Because you don't want me around?"
"Now don't be harsh sweetie she's only trying to protect you." Hestia quietly admonished
I regretted the words as soon as they were out.
"Good." Hera said harshly
My mom's eyes welled with tears. She took my hand, squeezed it tight. "Oh, Percy, no. I—I have to, honey. For your own good. I have to send you away."
Her words reminded me of what Mr. Brunner had said—that it was best for me to leave Yancy.
"Because I'm not normal," I said.
"Bah, normal's boring." Hermes dismissed
"You say that as if it's a bad thing, Percy. But you don't realize how important you are.
"Very important." Nico stated seriously. The deities in the room looked around nervously
I thought Yancy Academy would be far enough away. I thought you'd finally be safe."
"Safe from what?"
She met my eyes, and a flood of memories came back to me—all the weird, scary things that had ever happened to me, some of which I'd tried to forget.
During third grade, a man in a black trench coat had stalked me on the playground. When the teachers threatened to call the police, he went away growling, but no one believed me when I told them that under his broad-brimmed hat, the man only had one eye, right in the middle of his head.
"One of my under sea Cyclops', he wanted to go above ground for a while to visit some of his more," Poseidon paused 'there really is no easy way to say, more wild demigod eating brothers, is there?' "or rather less creative brothers*9. Anyway I agreed but asked if he could check up on you while he was there. He must have preferred your company" Poseidon shrugged unconcerned
Before that—a really early memory. I was in preschool, and a teacher accidentally put me down for a nap in a cot that a snake had slithered into.
My mom screamed when she came to pick me up and found me playing with a limp, scaly rope I'd somehow managed to strangle to death with my meaty toddler hands.
"Hopefully that's not a sign that Hera wants something with you *10" Nico said worried as Hera glanced at the ceiling trying to not attract attention
In every single school, something creepy had happened, something unsafe, and I was forced to move.
I knew I should tell my mom about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds at the art museum, about my weird hallucination that I had sliced my math teacher into dust with a sword. But I couldn't make myself tell her. I had a strange feeling the news would end our trip to Montauk, and I didn't want that.
"You're putting yourself and your mother in danger!" Artemis snapped as Percy guiltily stared at his shoes
"I've tried to keep you as close to me as I could," my mom said. "They told me that was a mistake. But there's only one other option, Percy—the place your father wanted to send you. And I just... I just can't stand to do it."
"She's also putting him in danger Moonshine so don't go all feminist on us." Surprisingly, Dionysus drawled
"My father wanted me to go to a special school?"
"Not a school," she said softly. "A summer camp."
My head was spinning. Why would my dad—who hadn't even stayed around long enough to see me born—talk to my mom about a summer camp? And if it was so important, why hadn't she ever mentioned it before?
"I'm sorry, Percy," she said, seeing the look in my eyes. "But I can't talk about it. I—I couldn't send you to that place. It might mean saying good-bye to you for good."
"For good? But if it's only a summer camp ..."
She turned toward the fire, and I knew from her expression that if I asked her any more questions she would start to cry.
"I hate it when women use their tears on you." Apollo muttered
That night I had a vivid dream.
"Oh no." Thalia and Nico said in unison as everyone else glanced at each other in worry
It was storming on the beach, and two beautiful animals, a white horse and a golden eagle,
"Eww, you think our dads are beautiful! That's weird Kelp head" Thalia shivered teasing him, making Apollo, Hermes, Nico and Hades burst out laughing, Percy blush and gape like the fish he sort of is, Zeus to glare at everyone and Poseidon to raise an eyebrow amused.
were trying to kill each other at the edge of the surf.
"Oh, now everything is back to normal." Hermes stated
The eagle swooped down and slashed the horse's muzzle with its huge talons. The horse reared up and kicked at the eagles wings. As they fought, the ground rumbled, and a monstrous voice chuckled somewhere beneath the earth, goading the animals to fight harder.
"Oh joy. So father and Uncle P are getting goaded into a major fight or war by a creepy voice, who I don't think is Uncle H." Apollo concluded unsure as to who it could be, "if it is Hades though I have a feeling it would be better than any alternative." The Demigods shared a knowing glance as the tension in the room rose. "I don't suppose any of you will tell us who it is?"
"Sorry." Thalia stated
"No can do." Nico answered
"Hey at least we now have proof for father that Poseidon didn't take the lightning bolt." Hermes said
Zeus just said, "We'll see" and motioned to keep reading
I ran toward them, knowing I had to stop them from killing each other, but I was running in slow motion. I knew I would be too late. I saw the eagle dive down, its beak aimed at the horse's wide eyes, and I screamed, No!
"Ha, take that, brother. I win." Zeus claimed as lightning flashed triumphantly across the sky above
Poseidon just rolled his eyes and said, "Like I always said 'you would have done well as the king of theatre Zeus' and as you well know 'just because you won a battle doesn't mean you've won the war'"
I woke with a start.
Outside, it really was storming, the kind of storm that cracks trees and blows down houses. There was no horse or eagle on the beach, just lightning making false daylight, and twenty-foot waves pounding the dunes like artillery.
With the next thunderclap, my mom woke. She sat up, eyes wide, and said, "Hurricane."
"Why would I send a hurricane towards you even if I'm angry I know not to send them at my children especially if they don't know who I am." Poseidon mused as Percy thought back to what his mother said about the monsters poor eyesight could his father be assisting here?
I knew that was crazy. Long Island never sees hurricanes this early in the summer. But the ocean seemed to have forgotten.
Over the roar of the wind, I heard a distant bellow, an angry, tortured sound that made my hair stand on end.
Ares leaned forward in anticipation
Then a much closer noise, like mallets in the sand. A desperate voice—someone yelling, pounding on our cabin door. My mother sprang out of bed in her nightgown and threw open the lock.
Grover stood framed in the doorway against a backdrop of pouring rain. But he wasn't... he wasn't exactly Grover.
"Searching all night," he gasped. "What were you thinking?"
My mother looked at me in terror—not scared of Grover, but of why he'd come.
"Percy," she said, shouting to be heard over the rain. "What happened at school? What didn't you tell me?"
I was frozen, looking at Grover. I couldn't understand what I was seeing.
"You still can't." Thalia shook her head, "Poor Percy" said 'poor Percy' glowered darkly at her making her have to supress a shiver
"O Zeu kai alloi theoi!" he yelled. "It's right behind me! Didn't you tell her?"
"Why do we say that?" Percy asked
"Say what?" Demeter asked
"'Oh Zeus and all the Gods' why not Oh Poseidon and all the Gods or Oh Hestia or Hermes and all the Gods."
"Because Zeus is vain and wants all the attention." Hades answered before anyone else could then laughed with Poseidon as thunder echoed throughout the building
"Ignore the Ass (donkey) and the Zombie, but it is because I'm the King of the Gods so it's only fair I'm declared first."
"Look Baldy (eagle) if being named in a cuss is proclaiming you as our King then surely Hades over there," amused Poseidon jerked his head in Hades' direction, "should be the King as his name is used more than yours"
"And as you're the King surely it is dishonour to use your name as a cuss and so we should be using someone else's name if any to do so." Percy queried, ignoring the steady stream of thunder that had been heard since the conversation started "unless you're not really the king." Zeus quickly irritated with the conversation was sparking and seeing this Apollo read on.
I was too shocked to register that he'd just cursed in Ancient Greek, and I'd understood him perfectly.
I was too shocked to wonder how Grover had gotten here by himself in the middle of the night. Because Grover didn't have his pants on
"exhibitionist." Apollo chastised Thalia, Nico and Percy snorted into their almost empty bowl of sweets
— and where his legs should be ... where his legs should be ...
My mom looked at me sternly and talked in a tone she'd never used before: "Percy. Tell me now!"
I stammered something about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds, and my mom stared at me, her face deathly pale in the flashes of lightning.
"I never saw that coming." Hermes said blankly before snickering into his phone
('Hey your hair'ssss in my face and your breath tassstsss like blueberriesss' George muttered before saying 'I don't like blueberriesss. I like ratssss though'
'Shhh, Sssweetie or Hermessss won't give you any if you keep interrupting his phonecall' Martha chastised
'Phonecall? I thought he was lissstening to the book' George exclaimed
'He'sss multi-tasking Georgie.' Martha explained)
Help: if you have any ideas for nick names or insults for the gods please tell me I might be able to work them in sooner or later (the main arguments are probibly going to be between the Big three, Athena and Poseidon, and the demigods but I could still work in the others)
Please tell me which god and then the nickname/insult
I try not to use the same name more than one (unless cannon so Goat boy, corpse breath, Ol' seaweed, seaweed brain etc.)
I think you can tell that I like Poseidon's character a lot if you hate him you can just look at it at a darker angle i.e. when Percy's thinking about whether or not the hurricane was Poseidon helping them you could have it as him just venting his anger and they're in the way.
* Poseidon sent raging storms after Odysseus
*1 Commodore John Barry-"Father of the American Navy" (I don't know how he died but I'm just finding naval names)
*2 George Dewey — Hero of the Battle of Manila Bay in Spanish-American War; first and only Admiral of the Navy
*3 Robert Blake "Father of the British Royal Navy" (1,2,3 are just random people I chose to be sons of Poseidon I don't know whether it fits with my story)
*4 Panes- like satyrs but not. Pans followers. They've got goat facial features as well as the hind legs of a goat
*5 he'd be used to Zeus' ways by now and he knows Zeus couldn't have known who they were but he still cares somewhat to object a little
*6 I'm sure if he wants he can look like he wants if he wants to look like a merman or like Triton or a fish then he's a god I'm sure he can
*7 Athena and Poseidon's rivalry are enjoyed by many but for it to be still happening I'm sure there had to have been other incidents and in the myths when Polyphemuswas blinded Poseidon sent stormy seas and tried to sink them (or at least Odysseus) but they prayed to Athena and she helped them survive Poseidon's anger, so I think that this would have happened again after and with their rivalry they would probably go after each other's kids and since I like Poseidon over Athena he is the one who retaliates to Athena. It's 60% because it is mostly indirect and I'm counting the Cyclops's as well as demigods so only about 10% is directly by Athena or her kids and like 4% of them is due to Aphrodite meddling the other 6% was between friends and acquaintances. (in my world any way)
*8 Poseidon became Neptune but Neptune didn't become Poseidon so it's understandable that before he became Neptune he learnt some roman (I doubt they changed instantly). The romans were all about order and war and Neptune didn't get anything near the amount of respect Poseidon did and as 'the sea doesn't like to be restrained' and is un ordered so in my mind Neptune is just Poseidon but more irritable due to lack of respect and being Romanised.
*9 the way I see it with Cyclops is that they're either Gaea's Cyclops who all eat demigods and then there's Poseidon's Cyclops' who live on the street and either they attack people like Polyphemus or they learn to cherish what they have and make things with what they have before working for Poseidon like Tyson
*10 Heracles was known for being hated by Hera and he was put in a cot with a snake to see if he was the demigod child of Zeus (Zeus raped his mother the husband of which wanted to know which child was his) Hera then kept coming up with impossible labours to try and kill him needless to say he didn't die till much late. If you haven't guessed I've been hinting at HoO