DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Big Bang Theory, neither am I making any money from the writing of this story. I'm just doing it for poops and giggles.
MsPadfootPotter - Thank you for your review, I really appreciate it. I've gone over and changed some things in upcoming chapters to try and make Sarah less Sue-ish, though there is a reason that she's so tolerant of Sheldon which will subtly be revealed in chapter five. I have to admit that she'll probably be aggravatingly good for a little while, though it's not going to be all unicorn poop and rainbow farts forever. Besides which, I intend to make this one hella long story, so I think I have some time for inane banality. Thanks again!
And, of course, thank you to all my other reviewers, too.
Rock the dragon.
CHAPTER FOUR
~ Offensive Measures ~
Three weeks passed, and Sarah was fully integrated into the group. She spent most of her time with Penny, who had begun the Australian's fashion tutoring, (which seemed almost to be a lost cause,) but was always ready to spend time with the guys as well. She played Halo with them twice more, and each time was placed on Sheldon's team. She didn't seem to mind.
The boys were so happy with their newest friend that they could hardly remember a time when she wasn't there. She often shouted them dinner, and lent them video games that they didn't have. She was still very quiet and soft spoken, but nowhere near as shy.
Penny even took Sarah out to clubs a couple of times, trying to set her up with a guy. But every time it looked like things were going well, Sarah ended up deflecting the guy onto one of Penny's other friends. She seemed happy, though, so the subject wasn't pushed.
Sarah ended up spending the night at Penny's quite a few times. And it was after one of these nights that she received an invite to a party that Penny was having.
"A Halloween party?" Sarah repeated.
"Yeah," Penny confirmed. "A bunch of my friends are coming. We're gonna drink, dance. Everyone will love you, you should totally come."
"Halloween was never really big in Aus." Sarah shrugged. "I've never been to a Halloween party."
"Oh, then you have to come! It'll be so much fun," Penny assured her, patting her shoulder. "You get to wear a costume and everything."
"Costume?" Sarah's face lit up and she nodded. "Well, in that case. Hey, why don't I come over early and help you set up?"
"Sure. It's this Saturday, so you can just spend Friday night at my place."
"Sounds like a plan."
When Friday evening came around, Sarah showed up at Penny's apartment with her costume and other things in a luggage bag, and they stayed up late chatting. In the morning Penny had to work, so Sarah spent the day cleaning her rooms from top to bottom and organising snacks and drinks.
Penny had told her that she was starting the party at seven, but that no one would show up until at least eight, eight thirty. Sarah was completely ready by the time Penny got home at five.
"Oh wow, you look so pretty!" Penny had gushed as soon as she was through the door.
Sarah blushed and shrugged dismissively. "I couldn't think of anything else."
She was dressed as a princess, the inspiration taken from the Hebrew meaning of her name. She'd curled her hair and tied it back into a bun, three longer locks falling over her shoulder, many smaller wisps framing her face, which was clean of makeup save for dark blue eye shadow and mascara. A silver tiara rested atop her head, sparkling in the light, silver hoop earrings dangling from her ears and a fine silver necklace hanging against her chest. Her pale blue dress was long with long bell sleeves, slashed open at the front to reveal a slightly darker blue layer and cinched flatteringly at the waist with a silver band, the neckline cut in a v that demurely showed a hint of cleavage. The dress covered her feet, but when she walked it revealed her blue slippers.
"If you don't get a guy tonight, then they're all crazy," Penny said as she went to her bedroom to change from her work uniform.
"I told you, Penny, I'm not looking for a guy," Sarah called after her, fiddling with the couch cushions.
Once Penny was changed, the two girls sat down and chatted for a while before finishing the decorations. Penny told Sarah all about her day at the Cheesecake Factory, and an audition that she had coming up. As soon as the conversation started to lean towards Sarah's occupation, she subtly steered it back onto Penny.
At five past seven, there was a knock on the door. Sarah jumped to her feet. "I thought you said no one would show up on time!"
"It must be something else, calm down." Penny grinned at her nervous friend.
"I'm going to wait in your room so no one sees me," Sarah stage-whispered as she quickly tiptoed away, the bedroom door closing behind her with a muted 'click'.
With a grin still on her face, Penny answered the door to find the four boys from across the hall standing there, all dressed and ready for the party. Her grin became slightly forced. "Oh. Hey, guys."
"Hey, sorry we're late!" Leonard greeted with a wide grin.
"Late?" Penny glanced at the clock on her wall. "It's seven oh five."
"And you said the party starts at seven," Sheldon pointed out.
"Well, yeah, I mean, when you start a party at seven, no one shows up at... You know, seven." Penny put her hands on her hips, but tried her hardest to keep smiling.
"It's seven oh five," Sheldon reminded her.
"Yes, yes it is. Okay. Well uhm, come on in." Penny stepped to the side and opened the door further, letting the boys through.
The boys all came in, Howard sauntering while the other three were a little more shy. When he noticed that the room was empty, he turned to Penny and asked, "What, are all the girls in the bathroom?"
"Probably, but in their own homes," Penny answered.
"So what time does the costume parade start?" Sheldon eagerly interrupted.
"The parade?" Penny asked, confused.
"Yeah, so the judges can give out the prizes for best costume. Most frightening, most authentic, most accurate visualisation of a scientific principle." Sheldon straightened out his shirt, clearly indicating that he thought he had that particular prize in the bag.
"Oh, Sheldon, I'm sorry but there aren't going to be any parades or judges or... prizes," Penny told him gently.
After a brief pause, Sheldon turned away and said, "This party is just going to suck."
"Noo, come on, it's gonna be fun! And you all look great. I mean look at you, Thor," she gestured to Raj, who was dressed as the Norse god, "And, oh, Peter Pan! That's so cute!" She smiled at Howard, who was wearing green tights.
"Actually, Penny, he's Robin-" Leonard began, but was cut off by Howard saying loudly, "I'm Peter Pan! And I got a handful of pixie dust with your name on it." He blew on his hand with a cheesy grin.
"No you don't," Penny rebuffed him with another forced smile. "Uh, hey, what's Sheldon supposed to be?"
"Oh, he's the Doppler effect," Leonard explained with a look on his face that suggested he wished Sheldon wasn't the Doppler effect.
"Yes. It's the apparent change in the frequency of a wave caused by relative motion between the source of the wave and the observer," Sheldon explained, tilting his body to show off his costume.
"Oh! Sure, I see it now, the Doppler effect." Turning away from Sheldon with wide eyes, Penny said to the others, "Alright, I gotta shower, you guys, uh, make yourselves comfortable, and I'll send Sarah out."
"Sarah's already here?" Howard asked, looking almost frantically around the room.
"Yeah, she helped me set up. Doesn't this place look great?" Penny grinned proudly and held her arms out to indicate the apartment.
"It does seem cleaner than I had expected," Sheldon admitted. Of course, he had done a better job once upon a time, but he wasn't allowed to speak of 'the incident'.
Completely ignoring Sheldon, again, Penny cooed, "Oh, just wait 'till you see her costume! She's gorgeous!"
"Yeah?" Leonard asked, eagerly. He was just as eager to see Penny's costume, but with Sarah being a gamer, her costume might be more interesting.
"I'll send her out now!" Penny squealed, practically bouncing over to her bedroom.
She opened the door just enough to slip through and saw Sarah sitting on the end of her bed. "Hey, who was at the door?" the brunette asked.
"It's just the guys," Penny answered with a wave of her hand. "They're waiting out in the lounge. Go join them while I get ready."
"Okay." Sarah stood up and left the bedroom, closing the door behind her to give her friend some privacy.
"Oh, wow."
Sarah spun around at Leonard's breathy sigh to see the four guys all staring at her. She immediately blushed and smiled, bowing her head as she curtsied. "You like?"
"I have seen roses damask'd, red and white," Howard began dramatically as he stepped forward. "But no such roses see I in her cheeks. And in some perfumes is there more delight, than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak yet well I know, that music hath a far more pleasing sound. I grant I never saw a goddess go, my mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground." He reached a stock-still Sarah and, taking her hand, kissed the back of it.
With a bright red face, Sarah asked quietly, "Did you just quote Shakespeare to me?"
"Hasn't anyone ever done that before?" Howard asked, as though it would be strange if they hadn't.
Sarah shook her head, finally taking her hand back. "Uhm." She chewed on her bottom lip for a second before smiling, and moving carefully past Howard to greet the other guys.
They spent the next few minutes chatting, until Sarah couldn't take it any more and asked what Sheldon was supposed to be. "I'll give you a hint," he said, then made a noise as he moved his head from left to right.
"Hm... Uh... Are there any other clues?" she asked, smiling sheepishly.
"Sheldon, just tell her," Leonard suggested with a sigh.
"Oh alright." Sheldon sounded like he had been massively put out. "I'm the Doppler effect."
"Ahhh." Sarah nodded, her smile broadening. "Sorry. I've only ever seen the Doppler effect represented as a circular wave. But I see it now. Sorry."
"You... You know what the Doppler effect is?" Sheldon asked slowly, visibly surprised.
Sarah nodded slowly, cautiously. "Uh-huh. It's the effect on the frequency of a soundwave from the motion of the source of the wave or something, right?"
Sheldon blinked. Leonard looked thoroughly shocked. Howard and Raj had drifted away from the conversation and missed it. Sarah grinned, face flushing, then asked if any of the boys would like a drink.
The next hour went by pleasantly while the five of them chatted about games and science. Sarah jokingly told the boys that she had planned on dressing up as Cortana from Halo but had run out of blue body paint. Howard immediately drifted away from the conversation into a daydream. Sarah blushed but chose to ignore it. Penny didn't emerge once during this hour, but Sarah assured the guys that she was just getting ready when they began to worry. It was eight twenty when the first handful of guests arrived, and the party started.
Penny, dressed as a black cat, tugged Sarah around, introducing her to everyone, and everyone complimented her on her costume. After ten minutes Sarah was worried that she'd get burnt from blushing so much. Eventually she seemed to click with three other girls who adored her accent, and the four of them chatted for most of the night.
Sarah noticed that the four guys sat on the couch for most of the time, not socializing with any of Penny's friends. She made a point to go and talk to them all as often as she could, which they mostly seemed to appreciate. When Leonard and Sheldon finally started circulating, she grinned at them encouragingly, keeping one eye on them all evening.
She was in the middle of a conversation with a guy that was dressed as a king but with novelty oversized glasses when she saw a man dressed either as Tarzan or a generic caveman ruffling Leonard's hair. The childishly endearing gesture was more hostile than anything in this particular setting, so she kept a very careful eye on the proceedings, ready to intervene.
Barely a moment later, the caveman had lifted Leonard up off his feet and everyone in the room was looking at them. Frowning furiously, Sarah quickly stomped across the room towards them and socked the caveman squarely in the jaw, causing him to drop Leonard from the shock of it with a low yelp. Leonard tumbled into Sheldon, the both of them shocked into statues.
"You wanna keep your hands off my friend, pal?" Sarah asked threateningly. A cheer went up from the crowd, with several rounds of, "You go girl!"
Penny, who had stepped into the hallway to speak to some of her friends who had spilled out of her apartment, came bursting through the doorway at the sound of cheering. She was just in time to see her ex wipe his jaw and leer menacingly down at a furiously scowling Sarah.
"What is going on?" Penny asked, panicked.
"This crazy chic just attacked me!" the caveman practically growled.
"This muscle-bound jerk assaulted Leonard!" Sarah barked back, standing protectively in front of her friends. Leonard and Sheldon stood behind her, far too shocked at her aggression to be able to speak.
"Kurt! What did you do?" Penny demanded.
"I swear, I didn't do anything!"
"Just...! Leave them alone, please," Penny sighed, hands on her hips.
Kurt looked from her to Sarah, who was still scowling dangerously at him. He would never admit it, but she'd actually hurt him. "Whatever," he shrugged then strutted away, trying to regain his dignity after being struck by a girl.
Sarah heaved a heavy sigh before turning to Penny. "Sorry. I'll go now."
"But, you're staying here tonight, right?" Penny asked.
Sarah shook her head. "Sorry. I'm going to turn in, and I don't want to disrupt your party any more than I already have."
Leonard, finally having found his vocabulary again, stepped forward. "You can stay at our place, Sarah, if you need a place for the night."
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made a scene. I can stay at a hotel, I'll be fine," she said as she inched towards the door.
"Don't be silly. It's the least I can do," Leonard argued.
"The least you could do would be nothing," Sheldon corrected, also having regained himself. "But I also offer the use of our couch for this evening and this evening only."
Leonard stared up at his friend, his eyebrows fairly shooting into his hairline. "Really? Why?"
"Sarah's just proven that she can handle herself against Kurt. If he should pursue the issue, it would probably be safer to have her nearby," Sheldon explained, folding his hands together behind his back.
Sarah smiled at Sheldon's logic. "I don't think he's going to make anything of it, guys. You don't have to worry."
"I dunno," Penny interjected. "He hasn't stopped staring over here."
As one, Sarah, Sheldon and Leonard all turned to see that Kurt was indeed staring at them. The boys immediately turned away, having learnt at a young age that drawing a bully's attention to oneself was not exactly the wisest thing to do. Sarah stared right back at him until he blinked and turned away.
She sighed, shoulders slightly slumping in defeat. "Okay then. I'll keep an eye out. Just let me grab my bag." And she headed off towards Penny's bedroom.
"So what really happened, Leonard?" Penny asked as soon as Sarah was out of earshot.
Leonard was still staring after her. "I said something that made Kurt angry, and he picked me up. Sarah came and sorta... punched him. It was... awesome."
"Wow, really? She must be stronger than she looks," Penny mused aloud.
"And more aggressive than she lets on," Sheldon added. "She was positively livid."
"Maybe she just likes me," Leonard suggested with a smirk. No one commented.
Sarah reemerged with her luggage bag and followed the two boys over to their apartment. She went to the bathroom to change out of her costume while Leonard set up the couch into a bed for her. She asked to take a shower, and Sheldon spent ten minutes briefing her on the bathroom rules and his own bathroom schedule which she would have to work around before she got in.
While Sarah was showering, Penny came in to apologise to Leonard for Kurt's behaviour. She ended up kissing him, but Leonard was a gentleman and sent her home after asking how much she'd had to drink. He was in the middle of kicking himself when Sarah came out of the bathroom wearing gray sweats and a black tank top, her hair straight now and tied back in a ponytail.
"Thanks for putting me up, Leonard," she murmured.
"It's no problem," Leonard said dismissively. "I'm still surprised that Sheldon's okay with it."
"Really?" Sarah's face fell and she folded her arms around her middle. "I knew he didn't like me."
"What? No, don't be silly, he does like you. Which is actually pretty impressive," Leonard added with a reassuring smile.
"I heard my name," Sheldon came out of his room wearing his pyjamas and matching dressing gown, tying the belt around his middle. "What are you saying?"
"We were just talking about whether you liked me or not. Do you like me, Sheldon?" Sarah asked him, her wide eyes somewhat pleading.
He hesitated for a full minute under the brunt of the blue-eyed gaze before replying cautiously, "I don't dislike you."
Sarah smiled a little, visibly relieved. "I'll take a double negative. Anyway, thanks again for letting me stay here."
"Think nothing of it. It's more of a defensive measure than any sort of friendly gesture."
She chuckled. "I can live with that. Well, goodnight, guys."
"Goodnight," the two of them chorused before going to their separate (heterosexual) bedrooms.
Sarah fluffed around for a little while, kept checking that the door was securely locked, and made sure that her bag was safely out of everyone's way behind the couch before finally tucking herself in. She lay awake for a little longer before she fell asleep, sighing lightly.
When Sheldon got up two hours later to tend to the incessant banging on the apartment door, he paused on the hall step, staring at the couch. Sarah had moved, presumably in her sleep, so that her legs were hanging over the arm of the couch and her head was resting on the middle cushion. The blanket Leonard had lent her was bunched around her middle, practically doing nothing.
"Odd," Sheldon noted to himself. Not only his guest's sleeping position, but the fact that she was clearly fast asleep, despite the still insistent knocking on the door. Information to be filed away for future reference; Sarah is a rather deep sleeper.
The knocking continued. "I'm coming," Sheldon called in an effort to make it stop. When he opened the door, he revealed Howard to be the culprit.
"Hey, have you seen Koothrappali?" Howard asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet, a slightly worried look on his face.
"He's not here. Maybe the Avengers summoned him," Sheldon said, more than a little annoyed that he'd gotten out of bed for such a trivial matter.
Howard frowned a little. "He's not the Marvel Comic's Thor, he's the original Norse god."
"Thank you for the clarification." It was almost sarcasm.
"I'm s'posed to give him a ride home," Howard explained his intrusion and worry.
"I'm sure he'll be fine," Sheldon placated, adding, "He has his hammer."
A soft sigh from the couch drew both men's attention to its occupant. Sarah shifted in her sleep, her arm falling from over her stomach to hang over the edge of the couch as she scooted a little further down it.
"What's she doing here?" Howard asked in a hushed tone, leaning further into the room to ogle what he could of the young lady.
"Being not much of a guard," Sheldon replied. What was the point of having her stay to protect them if she'd sleep through a confrontation?
"Guard? What are you talking about?" Howard's attention was drawn away from the sleeping beauty towards Sheldon.
Sheldon briefly explained to Howard what had happened at Penny's party, as he'd missed the scene. Once the tale was told, his eyes widened noticeably.
"Sheesh. Beauty, brains and brawn. She's the perfect woman!" Howard gushed, smiling over at his hapless soon to be victim.
"She's hardly the smartest woman in the world," Sheldon argued. "Now if you don't mind, you're interrupting my sleep cycle. Please leave."
Howard held his hands up. "Fine, fine. Just let me know if Koothrappali does show up here."
"Of course." Sheldon closed the door on his friend, who tried to keep the sleeping Sarah in his sights for as long as possible until obscured by the door.
Sheldon turned and headed back towards his room, pausing on the hall step once more at the sound of another soft sigh. He glanced over his shoulder at the woman sleeping on his couch. He noted that his spot was being undisturbed, and mentally gave Sarah one free pass when she inevitably invoked her first strike.