Self-Control. It took a lot of self-control not to argue or glare at him. Lily felt like her head was going to explode from the amount of pressure she was putting on it. She compared this feeling to withdrawal symptoms, but instead of withdrawing from drugs, she was withdrawing from hating James. An action she believed to be impossible.
"Alright there, Evans?" he asked, clearly amused by her struggle, "Maybe you should take a deep breath before you explode."
"Is it really that obvious?" she murmured to herself.
"Yes, you look constipated," he said with a shrug. She stiffened at his response He wasn't supposed to hear that! As it was a reflex, she snapped her head to glare at him and then internally cursed herself for losing her self-control. Her face softened back into a neutral gaze and she turned to look at Slughorn again. However, every fiber of her body could feel James's penetrating eyes watching her amusingly.
Apparently it never occurred to him that staring is rude she huffed inside her head.
"The reason I brought out these potions today is to introduce a new chapter," said Professor Slughorn. "We'll be focusing more on Elixirs and how they contribute to everyday life, especially the Everlasting Elixirs. Today, I want you all to work on two Everlasting Elixirs. You won't be able to finish but you should be at least half way through the first one by the end of class today. The instructions are on page 35 as well as on the board. You may begin. "
There was a lot of rushing to the Potions cabinet as students scrambled for ingredients and flasks. She waited patiently for the rush of people to subside before going in to grab what she needed. Small amounts of ingredients were left over by the time she got to the cabinet. She had hoped for a little more to work with, but seeing as she excelled in this class, it wasn't exactly a bother. Gathering up whatever was left, she turned around only to bump into James and drop everything on the floor.
A groan left her lips before she could hold it back and she bent down to pick everything up. "You're a klutz, Evans," she heard him say before he bent down to help her. She looked at him "And you're an eyesore but you don't see me complaining."
He rolled his eyes and continued to pick things up. "It's not my fault you're as blind as a bat." Lily stopped to gape at him. "I'm not blind," she seethed, "and it is completely your fault. You're the one that stood right behind me and caused me to drop everything."
"Well I can't make a potion without ingredients. I needed to grab some from the cabinet."
She shook her head, "But you could've waited like a sensible person.
"Yeah," he stated in irritation, "and you could've stopped being as blind as a bat."
She opened her mouth to start an argument but after taking one look around, she decided against it. A classroom of students was not the place to begin bickering with James. They had a million school hallways and the Gryffindor Common Room for that. She shut her mouth quickly and took all the ingredients back to her table.
James seemed to understand why she remained mute and followed in her pursuit.
The two of them worked in silence after that. The only form of communication they had was when James asked to borrow her ingredients in which she replied with a curt nod. Lily slowly chopped up roots into even proportions as she gazed at her potions book.
Add the roots into the cauldron and then stir three times, counterclockwise. After you've stirred, heat the potion for three minutes. You should have blue fumes coming from your cauldron once it's done.
She was so absorbed on the instruction while cutting roots that she didn't notice how close the blade was to her hand, until it was too late.
"OW!" she cried out and dropped the knife in haste as a stinging pain enveloped her thumb. When she examined her finger, she found to her horror that a cut about an inch long ran in a diagonal line halfway through her thumb. Blood was rapidly pooling out of it while greatly nauseating her. She held back her gag reflex as she gingerly set her hand down. From the corner of her eye, Lily caught James staring at her, "Evans that looks bad."
Ignoring him, she grabbed two tissues from her bag and dabbed the blood flowing from her thumb and now into the palm of her hand. She had to agree with him. It was bad but not horrible.
"It's bearable," she hissed "Why do you care anyways?"
He disregarded her question, "You need to get down to the hospital wing."
She didn't have a chance to respond. James, set his things down and went to the front table to grab Slughorn's attention. She suppressed a sigh of annoyance as her fingers fumbled with the handle of her wand. Honestly, it was an insult that he went to tell the teacher. She was more than capable of fixing her hand by herself. She was a witch after all.
"Episkey," she muttered as her fingers tightened around the wand in concentration. Instantly, the cut started clotting and the pain disappeared.
Lily stowed her wand away just as James walked up. "C'mon," he snapped and grabbed her good hand before she could protest. He dragged her out of the classroom and past the dungeons. It was at the corridor where she finally managed to stop him and demand his attention. He sighed and loosened his grip, "What is it?"
She folded her arms. "I told you that I don't need to go down to the hospital wing. My hand is perfectly fine. It'll heal. You, however, need to work on your stubbornness. Who do you think you are to order me around and drag me to whichever location you please?"
He raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Excuse me for actually being concerned! Have you seen your hand, Evans? It looks like you massacred it."
"It does not!" she shouted, "There's only one scratch."
He laughed incredulously, "You call that a scratch? A paper cut is a scratch. Pricking your finger is a scratch. But that cut on your hand is not a scratch. It's a wound made from a potions knife and that's the worst type."
She put her good hand on her hip "How?"
James rolled his eyes, "Every time we make a potion we use ingredients like bezoars, beetle eyes, and fangs. Your knife has cut all of them and now you've gone and screwed your thumb with it. I don't want you going through some bloody mutation because you were too careless with a potions knife."
She tried to argue back but her argument got choked down at the next set of his words.
"I'm just trying to help you Lily."
Lily? LILY? Since when did Potter ever call her Lily? They've always referred to each other by surname and suddenly she wasn't Evans anymore, but Lily. For a moment she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, not knowing what to say as James waited expectantly for an answer. Finally she regained some control and found her voice, "I'm fine Potter. I did a healing charm on my hand while you were talking to Slughorn and its getting better. Just let me go back to class and finish the Elixir."
He rolled his eyes, "Let me see your hand."
She sighed and extended it without a complaint so he'd stop pestering so much. James's eyes widened as he saw it, "You obviously know nothing about magic. Your hand's worse than before. At least bandage it if you don't know how to properly heal it."
She blew at the strand of hair on her face in frustration, "Excuse me? I happen to be great with magic and I did do it properly. It doesn't hurt anymore and the cut's already clotted."
James ignored her and tightened his grip on her hand. "Man handler," she mumbled under her breath and tried to wriggle her fingers out of his grip. It proved to no avail.
"Stop squirming," he said irritably, "you're going to mess this up."
She froze, "Mess what up? What're you going to do?"
He didn't answer her question and shut his eyes. She saw him run his hand over her injured one and whisper healing charms under his breath. His eyebrows ruffled in concentration as he tightened his shut eyes. This went on for about a minute before he pulled away and let her hand drop out of his. The moment he let go, she caught the peachy surface of her skin and no clotted cut to accompany it. Her eyes widened He healed my hand without a wand!
"How did you do that?" she asked looking back up at James.
He rolled his eyes and smiled smugly "Magic of course."
"B-b-but but, that was w-w-wand less m-magic," she stuttered and then regained her composure, "How did you do wand less magic? I can't do wand less magic!"
Uncertainty reached his eyes and he shrugged, "Picked it up from somewhere."
She scoffed, "Right, and I'm sure your perfection with healing charms just came from somewhere as well," She put the word somewhere in air quotes.
He took a step closer to her, "For once you're actually right about something."
Lily folded her arms and took a step closer to him, "And for the millionth time, you're arrogant about something."
"Oooh was that in insult?" he taunted.
"Clearly, but I'm not surprised that your brain couldn't comprehend it," she stated boldly, feeling the anger rise in the pit of her stomach.
James's eyes narrowed at her, "Since we're judging each other's brains, let's talk about yours. It's feeble, pathetic, and unimaginably useless. Especially considering, you can't understand wand less magic or even how to use a simple healing charm."
Her whole face turned red, "Well let's judge yours then! It's clearly the size of peanut! And I know this because last year you were stuck in Remedial Potions! I thought my friends were kidding about it until I caught you walking into Slughorn's office at midnight. It literally took me days to stop laughing."
To her surprise, he answered her back by laughing bitterly, "And when are we actually going to use Potions in real life. If you were attacked, do you think you could pull out a cauldron and make an Everlasting Elixir to save you? Face it Lily, your expertise won't do anything out in the real world."
She groaned and yelled, "Why do you keep calling me Lily? Only my friends call me Lily!"
He clenched his jaw and shouted, "And who says I don't want to be your friend?!"
She wasn't prepared for that. Not in the slightest. Whatever retort she prepared went back down her throat as she processed his words. Lily found herself choking on her words until she finally spat out, "You-you what?"
The anger was gone and replaced with confusion. James looked sheepish as he ran a hand through his mass of jet black hair "Well…we've been fighting for a while and-well- maybe it's time we stop and actually try to be friends."
She gulped, "You mean, not enemies?"
He smiled uncertainly, "If that's what you want to call it."
She did not smile back, "You're joking right?"
His grin faltered, "No I'm not."
She blinked rapidly and then burst out into laughter. Giggles escaped her throat as tears came slowly streaming from her eyes. "I have to admit Potter," she said through giggles, "You've got some sense of humor."
When he returned her laughter with an annoyed expression she stopped, "Oh you can't be serious! We hate each other! Fighting is what we do! I doubt you'd seriously give that up and try to be civilized around me."
"Trust me I'm aware of that," said James a part of him sounding irritated and the other amused. "But it can't be that hard. I mean, underneath our stubborn exteriors, you and I happen to be the same."
Lily raised an eyebrow, "How exactly?"
"Think about it," he said, "We're both Gryffindors, we both get unnecessarily angry, we're both not really on the best terms with Snivellus I mean Severus-"
"And whose fault is that?" she interrupted angrily, while remembering their fight last year. Severus's words still echoed in her ears. Filthy Mudblood!
"His!" James shouted while bringing her back to reality. "C'mon, it was a year ago and I can still see how hurt you were when he said what he said."
Her lip hardened, "Well you're just as much to blame!"
Disbelief reached his eyes, "I'm to blame? He called you the M word and I'm to blame?"
"I know what he said!" she shouted back, "But you weren't exactly the innocent bystander, you were bullying him! Having a wand doesn't give you the liberty to hex whoever you like and due to your peanut sized brain capacity, you can't seem to understand that."
"Oh so we're back to that now?" he asked coldly.
"You started it," she replied heatedly.
"Oh real mature Evans. Put the blame on someone else."
"See!" she cried out the moment he finished his statement, "We're already fighting again and you just called me Evans. We can't be friends Potter. Not in a million years."
She waited for him to respond but for once, he was silent. Lily took a deep breath and continued "I'm going back into the classroom now and we're both going to pretend this conversation never happened."
She tried to walk away but James caught her now healed hand and reeled her back. "You're not leaving," he murmured, "I told Slughorn I'd take you to the hospital wing and I'm going to keep my word."
Lily didn't even blink before he pulled at her hand and started weaving through the castle like a knitting needle through cloth. She tried to reason with him.
"Potter I-"
"Bloody hell let me go I-"
"I'm serious you idiot this is-"
"Potter please-"
Finally she knew exactly what to say, "JAMES!" That stopped him. He turned around, eyes wide with surprise, "You-you said my name."
She nodded, "Yes and I'm not going to make a habit of it. Listen Pot- err-I mean James. I know you mean well. Really, deep down, extremely deep down, I know you have good intentions. And that's hard for me to say. You of all people should know that." She cleared her throat and continued, "What I mean is, you're going about it the wrong way. I don't even know where to begin when you say friends. The idea of being friends with you just-well it doesn't make sense to me."
"C'mon Lily, how hard can it be. I'm asking you to be my friend, not cut your arm off."
"Yes, but it's confusing!" she exclaimed, "Just a week ago I was fighting my gag reflex at your presence and if I'm your friend, I'm supposed to do things differently. I have to smile when you're in the room, talk to you and not fight, laugh at your non comical jokes, and tease you about things in a different manner. I don't know if I can do that. Especially after all that's happened."
James ran a hand through his hair, "You think my jokes aren't funny."
She rolled her eyes, "Is that all you got out of it?"
He pretended to think for a moment, "Yes….actually I do believe that's all I got out of it."
To her surprise she started laughing, "You are an idiot."
He shot his eyebrows up, "Oh shut up that was a legitimate concern. Most people love my jokes."
Lily fought the urge to scoff, "Yeah and most of the people you hang around are the marauders and the number of fan girls that shamelessly flaunt themselves around you."
He stepped back and posed in a dramatic way, "I like to call them, admirers."
"Well, I like to call them tarts and people who have nothing better to do."
He smirked, "Jealous are we, Lily?"
She rolled her eyes yet again, "Cocky are we, James?"
And then her eyes widened. She called him James again and this time it just rolled of her tongue very easily. This wasn't right, at least not to her, "Sorry that was just-"
"Slip of the tongue?" he finished for her, "No I don't think it was, and do you want to know what else I think?"
"Not particularly," she mumbled.
He ignored her, "I think that you want to be friends with me as much as I do, but you just won't admit it to yourself because you're so bloody stubborn. I think under all that hatred, you actually legitimately like me. And I think you're letting almost six years of bickering get to your head. We're both on the same side Lily. Not just in school but in the real world as well."
He lowered his voice into a murmur, "Unlike a good number of arses in this school, I don't believe in all that blood purity shit. I'm on the side against Voldemort and so are all the other Marauders."
The sincerity in his eyes stunned her to a momentary silence and Lily felt the annoyance that was carved into her face reshape into a softness that she rarely expressed.
"Look, I don't doubt your chivalry," she said with complete honesty, "It's a very admirable quality that you have but unfortunately, your bigheadedness gets in the way of it."
The light and amused glint returned to his eyes. "Big headedness?" he said in mock shock, "I prefer to call it a strong self-esteem."
She rolled her eyes yet again, "Call it what you may, it still inflates your ego."
He paused for a moment and then gave her a lopsided grin, "And are you willing to be friends with this inflated ego?"
Lily bit her lip nervously and stared at her shoes. She felt the word no in her throat but for some reason, every part of her was aching to scream yes. Was this what she really wanted? Did she honestly crave James Potter's friendship? The more she thought about it the more questions filled her head and swarmed around like angry bees. The only thing she was sure about at the moment was that she had no answer for him.
James noticed this. "Alright fine," he said raising his hands up in defeat at her undeniable conflict, "you don't have to give me an answer just yet. But promise me you'll think about it, okay?"
Words stuck in her throat so she only nodded in response. They began to walk forward in silence until James said, "Lily."
"Hmm?" she responded.
He spoke with a smirk on his face, "I'm still taking you down to the hospital wing."
Okay that's a wrap. I'm terribly sorry for the long wait. I got a case of the summer vacation laziness and I couldn't find the antidote for it until now.
Yes people, that is my excuse and I'm sticking with it.
In all honesty, not my best work but this chapter accomplished what I wanted. A revelation between Lily and James. A change for once, so that they'd stop being so damn stubborn and just start being friends. I mean, I couldn't wait much longer. Those two have way too much in common to not be friends.
Back to the matter at hand.
I won't tell you when I will update next because if I do, I'll end up prolonging it. I can't work with timelines. I am terrible with them. But I will try to get things done as much as I can and you will have an update sooner this time. Thanks for sticking with the story.
And finally, my last order of business. I'd like to thank my editor known as Mindless Mazes who's been very patient with me and my terrible updating schedule. You all need to check out her page and maybe leave a comment on her fanfic, which is very well written if I do say so myself.
Anyways, I guess I'm done now. I don't know how many of you actually read the authors note but I'm glad that some of you do. Until next time….
Never eat a banana and then drink milk. That combination of that fruit and dairy is just disgusting. Why do you think they never make banana flavored yogurt?