Mkay, last chapter. Get the tissues, the real angst begins here.
Disclaimer: HeyArnoldisnotminegoaway
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Dear Gerald,
I wish I could be with you right now, I know how much your grandfather meant to you, I can't begin to fathom the pain you're in. Mr. Simmons told me that you don't need to worry about getting your work in this week, he understands entirely and sends his condolences.
Things are really quiet now, I'm worried. It's like the calm before the storm. Something happened to Helga, I have no idea what happened. Things were going so well – she was nice, she was happy... Really happy. Now she's just... listless. She won't tell me anything. She's acting as if she doesn't recognize that people are around her. She goes to class, sits down, and stares at the floor. She goes to the lunch room, sits and doesn't say anything. Even her bow is gone. Arnold has been trying to help her, he volunteered to work with her on that history project, and tried to get her to talk during the whole period, but she just kept staring at the floor. During lunch, I heard her mumbling something. She was saying 'I dont like this... I don't want to feel this... I dont want to feel.' over and over and over... This has been going on for a few days... It's like the fire that was in her just. Went out. I don't know what to do, I just wish you were here.
-Phoebe
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Dearest Arnold,
Please forgive me, I never meant to make you uncomfortable. In retrospect, I understand your reaction. I have never felt more alive in these few weeks than I have in my life, and I have you to thank for that. My life was empty before you, you showed me that first bit of kindness over ten years ago and after that I was alive. While most people saw 7 colors, I saw 700, where most heard silence, I heard music, and where most felt joy, I felt ecstasy. I had to defend this fire you gave me, I was certain the others would see it and put it out and I would be left alone again.
Every word I told you was true. My father is virtually absent, and constantly confuses me for my sister. My mother is an alcoholic who barely remembers her own name. My sister is a perfectionist who can't help but make me miserable. My fondest dream was to get out of here, and become president – maybe then I could make sure that nothing like what happened to me happen to anyone else... with you by my side. Truth be told I have never had any friends. Any time someone tries to get close to me, I push them away so hard that I bruise them... you would know.
All I ever wanted was for you to love me, to feel a fraction of what I felt for you. I always knew it was too much to ask, but I wanted it to be true.
You don't need to worry, you won't hear from me again. No one will. I just... can't anymore.
- 'Cecile'
p.s. I'm sorry about all the spitballs, Football head.
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Dear Diary,
Eleanor came for a visit! It's been so long since she's come for tea, but she didn't want tea today. Poor thing looked distraught, I don't think Teddy treats her well... She just said she had a letter for Arnold. I don't think we have an Arnold here, so I just told her to put it in Kimba's room. Poor Kimba thinks he's being hunted, I keep telling him that I won't let anything happen to him, but I don't think the poor dear has slept in a few days. It's a good thing that I went in his room to tidy up beforehand. Kimba doesn't like his things touched, but I just wanted to do something nice for him. He had all these papers on his desk, so I threw them out, lots of silly letters from a French girl. Eleanor looked sad when she saw the letters in the garbage, should have given them to her – she would have gotten a laugh out of them.
The herd is coming back for the cattle drive, need to go hunting for dinner. Water buffalo burgers tonight!
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Phoebe,
I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore. I re-adopted 'Cecile' and tried to get Arnold to get to know me. He liked me before as Cecile, so I thought he would now. He doesn't. He got to know me, the real me, and still hates me. Before, I could at least believe that it was because I teased him so mercilessly. I don't have that now. I don't even have the barriers I used to. I have nothing now, I hope you understand. You were my only friend, and I can't bring you down into this. I'm so sorry.
- Helga
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I just write the cheeriest stuff, don't I?
R&R
smooches