Chapter 4
Eddy: So, let me get this straight, this is some kind of program you put together to turn ex-convicts into highly trained secret agents.
Kevin: that sums it up, yeah.
Edd: that's rather odd
Ed: that's weak writing
Eddy: THAT'S BULLSHIT, I'm not risking my life for you pigs.
Kevin: Doesn't look like you have a choice in the matter.
The ed's were walking behind Kevin as he led them down a hallway surrounded by steel walls. They entered a room that looked like a cross between a dojo and a gym. To their right was a giant mirror covering the wall, there were racks of kendo sticks, boxing mittens, and other various equipment. The floor was covered with a blue sponge-like mat, and the corners of the room were littered with punching bags, large dummies, and various weights. This was just one of the many rooms at Grimoire HQ, a top secret agency developed under the CIA in support of the cons to pro program. This would actually be Kevin's very first solo project and he was determined to make something out of it. Kevin frowned at Eddy as he listened to the shorter man's complaints.
Kevin: that was the deal we made, you three work for us and you don't get your ass handed to you by a 2x4 wielding psychopath.
Eddy: give me a fucking break. Double D what the hell did you get us into?
Edd: he's right Eddy, besides I was thinking about all of us.
Kevin: instead of bitching about it, you should be thanking the dork.
Both males looked at him in disapproval over the unflattering nickname as another figured entered the room from the door on the other side. She was a blond short-haired woman with dark green eyes and ruby red lips. She was dressed in a business suit and held a clipboard in her arm while addressing everyone with a smile.
Kevin: perfect timing, guys this is Naz.
Naz: hey glad to have all of you aboard.
Eddy: hey aren't you the chick I danced with last night?
Naz: yep, I'm also the chick who pulled up your police records, the chick who figured out where your next heist was, the chick that set up that sting in the nightclub last night, the chick who had one of Johnny's goons bugged and the chick who shared the recording of your confession with Kevin by sending it to his smartphone. Just call me the chick of all trades.
Naz chuckled at the dumbfounded looks on the Ed's faces and pulled a cookie covered in tissue out of her pocket.
Naz: oooh, look what I have Ed, a delicious chocolate chip cookie.
Ed: YUM, COOKIES FOR ED.
Naz: if you want this cookie, you're going to have to follow me.
She walks back out through the door she came in from with Ed in tow. Edd and Eddy panic and quickly follow but were cut off when the door shut itself locking them in the room. Eddy turns and rushes towards Kevin.
Eddy: WHERE THE HELL DID SHE TAKE HIM?
Kevin: relax shrimp, she's taking him to get intellectually stimulated, she's got a few exercises that'll mentally wake him up. You guys are with me for physical training.
Edd: ph….ph…physical training, as in the gym.
Kevin: as in kickboxing and karate, today is more for me to get a feel for who I'm dealing with.
He grabs Eddy's arm and lifts him a bit.
Eddy: HEY WHAT DO YA THINKING YOUR DOING?
Kevin analyzes his arm: well what do ya know, you have actual muscle tone.
Kevin grips Eddy's midsection: Kind of frumpy for someone your size but we can work on that with a few crunches.
Eddy: frumpy? Who the hell are you calling frumpy?
Kevin knelt down pulling up his pants leg to inspect the legs: sturdy legs that don't match your frumpy body type.
Eddy: you're trying to say I'm fat aren't you?
Kevin: no you're frumpy, there's a difference between fat and frumpy. Do yourself a favor and look it up.
Eddy: whatever smartass, are you finished?
Kevin: trust me it was no picnic for me either.
He notices out of the corner of his eye the other male in the room fidgeting slightly through the whole ordeal. Double D appeared to be nervously creeping past them towards the door they just entered through. Unfortunately, he didn't make it, Kevin wrapped his arms around the other males waist and pulled him towards his body.
Kevin whispers in his ear: going somewhere, Double Dweeb?
Edd struggles to get away from him: I….I was just heading to the bathroom.
Kevin picks him up and carries him back: hold it until we're done.
Edd: U…um k…kevin, I have to warn you, t…this a GAH…
Edd was distracted from his train of thought by Kevin, who at this point slide his cold hand over his stomach and back. Edd continued to shake and quiver under the taller man's touch feeling more and more uncomfortable by the minute. He tries his best to keep his anxiety in check as Kevin starts pinching what little fat he had around his waist and rolled up the sleeve of one of his arms to check his muscles.
Kevin: geez are you part jellyfish or something, there's not a single muscle on you.
Edd: P….P…please st….st….
Kevin: you're way too thin, guess I'll have to fatten you up.
Edd: please let go of me, this is….
Kevin: deal with it, I'm not done yet.
Kevin's hands slid past his waist and to his right leg, feeling him up through his clothing. Edd could feel himself beginning to panic.
Edd: t….too close, too close.
Kevin continues to pinch and prob his body: relax Skeletor. Shit, even your legs are bony. Ever heard of a sandwich.
Edd: K…kevin please, I don't like it when…
Kevin slides his hand up the pants legs to feel the skin underneath: what's the big…
Edd shakes violently and screams: LET GO OF ME NOW.
With one swift kick to the face, Kevin was sent sprawling to the floor. He skidded on his back for a bit before coming to a full stop a few meters away from the other male. Time seemed to stand still at that moment as Kevin laid there trying to recollect himself while at the same time stifle the pain in his jaw. What saved him partially from a broken jaw were his reflexes. He managed to pull back just a little when he saw the leg fidget, however it still caught him right under his chin. He slowly got up and rubbed his face, testing said jaw for any damages, Double D starts to freak out.
Edd: I…I…I'm so sorry Kevin, I didn't mean to…
Eddy chuckles a bit: wow, he got you good, then again with a chin that big how can he miss?
Edd: Eddy, that's not funny, he could have seriously been hurt.
Kevin: I'm fine.
Both men froze looking towards Kevin, the taller male rose up from the ground and locked eyes with Edd. He didn't expect that, not from someone so wimpy looking. A part of him was pissed, but another part of him was strangely excited, "He's strong, didn't think he had it in him, let's see what else I can get out of him". He made his way towards Edd in a slow yet menacing manner and flashed him an equally menacing grin.
Kevin: so, you don't like being touched.
Edd backs away a little: um….well n…no, but that was no excuse for what I…
Kevin: I guess it comes with being a human punching bag for most of your life.
Edd edged towards the wall at the side of the room: I…wouldn't say that….
Kevin: the kids at the cul de sac, the bullies in high school, your ex-husband, they messed you up real good didn't they?
Edd: y…you don't have to remind me of…
Kevin forces him against the wall: you're getting upset? Great, I would love to see what you're going to do about it.
Eddy gets between them and grabs Kevin by the wrist: that's enough Kevin.
Kevin and Eddy glare at one another, he was starting to get sick and tired of this little runt getting in his face. He looked back up at double D and his eyes widened, Edd was also glaring at him and there it was, anger, defiance, and in Kevin's opinion, the will to fight back. This was what he was looking for, now that he found it, all he needed to do was teach him how to use it. Kevin lightly slapped Eddy's hand away and grinned at Edd.
Kevin: your little friends can't protect you forever, then again, by the time I'm done with you they won't have to.
Eddy's expression darkens: I'm warning you kev….
He was interrupted by the sound of the doors breaking. The three looked at what use to be a door in shock as Ed comes barreling towards them at top speed. He cries out loudly as Eddy and Kevin jump out of his way and he grabs Edd in a crushing hug.
Ed: NO, DON'T HURT DOUBLE D, HE IS ALLERGIC TO PAIN.
Kevin stood there confused: what the fuck is this now? NAZ GET IN HERE.
Naz comes running through the open entrance: oh wow, this dude is fast for a big guy.
Ed: HE'S TRAINING DOUBLE D EDDY,
Eddy: yeah no shit Ed, that's what we're supposed to do.
Ed: but he's allergic, a punch to the face gives him hives.
Edd: Ed please, you're suffocating me.
Eddy: Ed put double D down already.
Ed's bottom lip quivers: no more pain for Double D, remember? We promised Eddy.
The other two ed's gawked at him for a bit while Naz slowly tries to approach the distraught man. Double D smiles at her and puts a hand up waving her away, they've got this. He then motioned for Ed to put him down, the other male was resistant for a bit but was still able to let his friend go. If anything could have been said about their dimwitted friend, it's that he was the sweetest person they had ever known. Eddy's expression softened as he joined Edd in consoling their best friend.
Eddy: I know we promised, big guy, but this is kind of different.
Edd: Kevin is going to help Eddy and I get stronger, he is here to help me not hurt me.
Eddy: and when he stops being a creepy, manipulative asshole then maybe we could learn a thing or two from him. Not going to lie to you though, we will get hurt a few times.
Edd: yes, we most definitely will, but it is all part of the process. We promise that everything will be ok in the end, I will be just fine in Kevin's capable hands. Right, Kevin?
Kevin smirks at him: oh I definitely intend on putting my capable hands all over y….OWW, geez Naz, I was kidding.
Naz glared at him after elbowing him in the ribs: what he means to say is, we will both do the best we can to help all three of you become better stronger secret agents. So you've nothing to worry about. Now that we've got that out of the way, you think you're ready to come back with me?
Ed looks back at Double D: are you sure?
Edd: of course
Eddy: don't worry about us lumpy, we're good.
Ed hesitates a little but takes Naz's hand: ok
Ed allows himself to be quietly led out of the room as the three men watch. Kevin looked at the whole scene with a mixture of amazement and annoyance. It was like Eddy and Double D were the parents consoling their child. Ed looked behind him at his two friends who both flashed him their versions of a comforting smile. But when they turned their attention back to Kevin their smiles melted away and went back to glaring at him. Kevin grumbled under his breath and scratched the back of his head, there was something about their connection that irked the hell out of him, "this is going to be a fucking ordeal isn't it?" he thought to himself as he walked towards them to start their training.