While the rest of the band was mingling with the crowd, grabbing drinks, making out in the bathrooms with groupies-or in Gabe's case, trying to rig the spotlight to shine in the shape of a penis on his brother, Dean sat against the wall in the hallway, drinking in the sound of Castiel's music along with his cold Budweiser. Something about the guy just struck him. He had picked his face out of the crowd at random, part of his usual act, but he couldn't just move past his gaze like usual. When Jo had mentioned the singer/songwriter that morning on the phone, he had pictured someone completely different- some scrawny twerp with crooked teeth and a pathetic moustache or something. He honestly hadn't given it much thought, but the serene man on stage with the sad but kind eyes was a complete shock to his system.
Dean rested his head against the cold concrete wall, feeling the vibrations of Castiel's deep voice through his skull. He reached up and out to the side with his pinkie and pulled the black curtain aside. From his angle he couldn't see much more than the singer's sneakers crossed underneath his stool. He could see his elbow pumping like a piston, strumming in a strong, steady rhythm. His left hand slid up and down the neck of the guitar, his fingers picking out an intricate series of notes and chords which soon fell into a comfortable pattern. It wasn't a song Dean had ever heard before, and he couldn't imagine anybody but this familiar stranger playing it.
He sang song after song about leaving home, falling in love, out of love, giving up, being strong. Dean listened to his soulful words with his beer held loosely in his right hand between his knees. He wanted to know everything that had happened to this guy to give him so much to write about. Dean had experienced a lot of crap in his life, but nothing that could spark such emotional outlet.
He didn't realize he had dozed off until he was being nudged ungraciously in the ribs by a pair of silver-tipped cowboy boots.
"Ayyy, Dean. Ellen wants us to do a collab with the Novak guy for a big finale." Garth was drumming his fingers across the top of Dean's head. "Apparently she wants Christmas songs. I'm down with that, but do you even know any?" Dean groaned.
"Hands off the merchandise man." He swiped Garth's scrawny hand off of his hair. "Seriously, Christmas music? Who does she think we are, the Plastics?"
"Wait, you've seen that?"
"Shut up."
Dean heard Pamela around the corner complaining about her lazy bandmates to one of her friends.
"Cool it Pam!" Garth shouted over his shoulder, "Sleeping Beauty's awake, the show goes on."
Dean used the wall as leverage to haul himself back to his feet. He shook off the pins and needles and followed Garth up the stairs onto the stage. Castiel looked up from the stool at center-stage and gave him a quick smile. All his bandmates already had their instruments ready to go. Dean pulled the microphone close and addressed the audience with a nod and a grin. He glanced around behind him and shot a quick wink at the man on the stool who was watching him intently, waiting for directions.
"Alright you insatiable suckers, you wanted Christmas tunes, and we shall provide. What do you want to hear?"
"So basically, there's a reason it's illegal for donkeys to sleep in bathtubs in Arizona."
The holiday jam session had been a rousing success. It had started with the upbeat staples-Jingle Bell Rock, Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer- but when Cas lulled them all into a hush with a haunting version of Silent Night, the whole crowd joined in on the last few tunes.
Now they were all lounged in the back room, swigging beers and laughing themselves hoarse over each other's stories. The clock ticked steadily along, and by three a.m., all of the performers aside from Dean, Castiel and Ash had excused themselves and headed home.
The house lights were up in the main room of the bar, and all of the remaining patrons had exchanged their standing-room-only spaces for seats in booths and around the wooden tables. A few girls still danced to the muffled music on the radio in the corner, but mostly, it was quiet as Dean and Castiel helped Ellen and Jo gather empty bottles and used napkins from the tables.
"Alrighty ladies and gents, last call. Pack yourselves up, I'm calling cabs!" Ellen addressed the room. "Make sure you're bundled up nice and tight, it's a freezer out there!"
Dean found himself across a table from Castiel, who was focusing intently on showing a specific stubborn ketchup spill who was boss. His mouth was a straight, tight line drawn across his face.
"Hey Cas," Dean said, "It's alright if I call you Cas, yeah? Lemme show you my super secret trick for getting that dried crap off the tables."
"Yes of course, Dean. Everyone calls me that, why should you be any different?" Cas looked up from the table, his forehead still wrinkled from his concentration. Dean wouldn't admit it, but it was seriously adorable. Dean smirked as he spit a huge gob of saliva onto his rag and worked it into the table, wiping away the clump of ketchup and leaving it shining.
"That cannot be sanitary. You are positively feral!" Cas said, with a raised eyebrow. Dean shrugged.
"It worked, didn't it?"
"I suppose." Cas watched Dean as he tossed his dirty cloth over the counter into the sink. Dean should have felt uncomfortable but he honestly didn't.
"Hey Cas, how are you getting home?" Dean blurted out, before the words caught in his throat. "I mean, all of the cabs are taken,"
"I was planning on just walking I suppose." Cas said plainly.
"No man, I can't let you walk, not in this shitstorm. Grab your coat, I'll give you a lift." Cas' eyes widened in surprise.
"Are you sure? I'm twenty minutes away, it'll be longer with the snow on the roads."
Sounds fine to me. Dean thought.
"It's no problem, really. I've got a full tank and nowhere to be in a hurry."
Cas smiled and wiped his hands on his jeans.
"I'd like that a lot, Dean, thank you!"
Dean couldn't hide his smile even if he tried as he pulled his worn-soft leather jacket off of the wooden peg by the door. Cas dashed to the backroom to grab his guitar, and was back within a minute. Dean couldn't help but watch Cas' nimble fingers as they buttoned up his coat.
Dean brushed the fallen snow off of the windshield of his Impala with the sleeve of his jacket and prayed that she would start up on the first try. She'd never let him down before, but there was a first time for everything. His luck was such that it would probably happen in on the coldest day of the year so far. Cas was struggling to fit his guitar case in the backseat around all of the boxes that were piled haphazardly there.
"Whoa man, let me help you." Dean opened the other back door and leaned across to shift a bit of the mess out of the way enough for Cas to offload his cargo.
"What is all of this stuff?" Cas huffed after he successfully slid his case along the floor of the car and carefully shut the door, making sure none of the contents of the backseat fell out.
"Um, a month or so ago something came up and I had to pick up some of my stuff from my brother's place." Don't blab about your family, the guy doesn't care. "I couldn't really fit all of it into my new place, and I don't want to sell it." Dean smiled sheepishly. "It's actually mostly music and movies. Some books. I guess I'm a bit of a hoarder."
Dean pulled the door open with a metallic groan- I've seriously got to oil these damn hinges-and dropped onto the leather seat behind the wheel. He grinned at Cas when he took extra effort to knock all of the clinging snow off of his shoes before sliding into the passenger seat. He turned the key with tight lipped grimace and whooped when she roared to life.
"Just give her a second to warm up." Dean cranked the heater as high as it could go. Cas nodded and nervously knocked his knees together. Okay, a grown man shouldn't be this cute. Dean looked out his window at the snow, down at the wheel, anywhere but Cas.
"What happened with your brother?" Cas broke the silence, before quickly stuttering. "Oh, I.. I'm sorry, should I not ask? We don't have to talk about it." He was clearly a bit embarrassed about prying.
"Cas, it's okay. Don't sweat it." Dean put the Impala in gear and guided her out of the parking lot and onto the streetlight-illuminated highway. It was empty aside from a few black taxi cabs pulling off onto various side streets. Dean took a deep breath.
"My brother, Sam, well we were close as kids. Pretty much inseparable actually. Well a few years ago, he went off to become a producer. He's done pretty well for himself too, he's in L.A. with a couple of big-time clients I guess." Dean had no idea why he was opening up to this guy who he barely knew, but Cas just seemed like someone he could talk to. He coughed. "I didn't agree with his career choice. Mainstream music just gives me the shivers, but he embraced it completely. Like, what the hell man? He was raised on the same shit I was, but suddenly he's too good for it? My dad was pretty broken up about it too. Essentially disowned him when he packed up for California."
"I'm really sorry Dean. It's hard to lose contact with family." Cas' electric blue eyes met Dean's from the other side of the darkened car. Dean turned off on the next street at Cas' direction.
"We didn't talk for a few years after that. It was okay, we sort of accepted our differences. I kept playing in bars. I went to college, got an apprenticeship at an automechanic's. Two months ago I was in Los Angeles while doing a mini-tour with Daeva. Pamela insisted that we drop in on Sam." Cas inhaled sharply. "The visit was going pretty well. We went out for dinner- He paid, of course- and he introduced me to a couple of his hotshot friends. I kept my mouth shut. The night, I uh, I got drunk and accused him of some shit I probably shouldn't have. Not that I didn't mean it, the son of a bitch shouldn't have left his family behind like that. He didn't even get to talk to dad again before his stroke.
"Anyway, I cleared out the stuff that he had held on to for me. He pretty much kicked me out. " Dean found his voice getting thick, and decided to shut up before me made complete idiot of himself. "God Cas, I'm being a total teenage girl here, just tell me to screw off any time."
"Why would I do that Dean? What you're doing takes a lot of courage." His eyes hadn't left Dean since he started telling his sob story. Dean raised an eyebrow.
"What about you Mr. Mysteriouso, what's your family like? You've probably got a big family that calls you, am I right? Got a cute girlfriend, new puppy?" Dean looked at Cas sideways, and Cas ducked his head finally.
"Not exactly. I haven't spoken to most of my family for years. They're extremely conservative, and I guess I just needed to breathe. They were… overly religious in my opinion-I mean they named us all after angels for fuck's sake-and when I began to question my faith, they didn't exactly support me. That and… a few other things that I admitted to them." Dean alternated watching the road and looking at the dark haired man who was visibly shrinking as he spilled his secrets to him. Nobody had ever trusted Dean with anything, this was weird… and nice.
"I followed their plan for me to a point. I attended college, became an accountant- I do the books for some of the businesses in this town. It pays the bills." He shrugged. "But all I really wanted to pursue was music. I guess I got that from my older brother. Gabriel left home while we were still in high school, they don't talk about him much back at home."
"Wait, Gabriel? Gabe? He's your brother?"
"Yeah." Cas sighed and watched the snow falling outside of his window. Through the windshield the snow racing towards them made Dean feel like he was piloting the Millennium Falcon through hyperspace.
"I guess we've both got shitty families." Dean mumbled.
They drove the rest of the way to Cas' apartment complex in comfortable silence, both men feeling lighter after discussing their painful pasts.
"Is this it?" Dean leaned forward to look up at the two storey brick building. When Cas nodded he pulled upturned down the radio and cut the engine. He turned sideways to drape his arm over the back of his seat.
"Thank you so much." Cas said quickly. "Walking in that snow would have been absolutely miserable."
"Don't mention it, really." Their breath was starting to fog up the windows since the heating had shut off with the car. "So I'll see you around I guess. We should play together again sometime, you're pretty kickass."
Cas' hand paused on its way to the door handle. "I'd really like that, Dean."
Dean bit his lip. He had a sharp feeling in his gut, as if this was an opportunity he shouldn't let himself miss. What was it about Cas that his family shunned him for? He seemed like a pretty solid guy. He thought, was he…? It was worth a shot. "Wait, Cas." He closed the distance between them on the cold seat, and when Cas didn't shrink away from his hand on his jaw, he pressed his lips quickly to Cas' chapped pale ones. He pulled away to meet Cas' eyes, not dropping his hand from where it rested against his cheek.
"Is this alright?" Dean asked, staring into the striking blue eyes that were widened in surprise. He was about to drop back, embarrassed, when Cas' hands were at the back of his neck and his hot breath was on his mouth. I'll take that as a yes. Dean pressed Cas against the cold window less gently this time, rejoicing when the hands moved up to grip at his hair and pull his mouth closer. Dean fisted at Cas' red woolen scarf and pulled it away to move his lips roughly against Cas' neck. Cas gasped for air, twisting his fingers in Dean's hair. Dean had essentially crawled across the seat so that there wasn't even enough space for his hands between their bodies. His lips broke away from Cas' neck only when his mumblings formed into words.
"Dean, um, Dean?" Dean let his forehead fall on Cas' heaving chest.
"Yeah Cas?"
"Where did that come from?" Cas asked, and Dean let out a soft laugh.
"I'm not actually sure! I'm guessing that's a no on the girlfriend front, huh?" Cas laughed softly now too, resting his chin in Dean's wild hair.
"Definitely a no. But a definite yes on seeing you around." Dean could feel the smile that blossomed on Cas' face in his hair.
"I should probably let you get inside." Dean murmured reluctantly against his warm chest.
"You could, um, come with me, I mean… if you wanted to." Dean's head jerked up to see Cas' shy smile.
"Really?" Dean stuttered. "I mean I'd love to. I really really would, but let's go slow, this is a little much for one night I think." Dean had never had a problem with sex on the first day before, but for some reason he wanted to make this time a little more meaningful.
"Wait, you mean you've never…" Cas' eyes widened again.
"Not with a dude, no." Dean admitted, and Cas' breath came out sharply.
"Well I'll take that as a compliment I guess."
Dean slid himself back to his side of the car as Cas opened the door and stepped out. He could still see little flashing lights behind his eyes and feel Castiel's tongue against his lips. Cas extracted his beloved guitar from the chaos of the back seat and the door creaked shut when he pushed it with his hip. Cas' face dropped to the window to give Dean a smile and a wave before starting up the rickety stairs that clung to the wall up to his apartment. Dean watched until the door clicked shut and the one visible window filled with light. He started his car and pulled out from the curb, grinning as he saw a silhouette appear in the window in his rearview mirror. This was a big night for firsts. He shook his head and laughed softly while he turned up the radio.
Baby, I think tonight
We can take what was wrong and make it right
Baby, it's all I know that you're half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole, I need you so.
So take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in