A/N: Thanks to all who are reading this, and to those who have taken time out to leave reviews. I am always amazed (and intrigued) by what interests the readers. I find reviews highly entertaining.
They stumbled towards the bedroom, exchanging kisses and caresses all the way. Occasionally, they stopped to search deeper with their mouths or their hands. In the bedroom, Harry reached down to turn on the lamp beside the bed, the light from which cast a soft glow over the room, so that their bodies threw giant distorted shadows across the walls as they moved towards the bed. They removed their clothes quickly, barely leaving time to savour the new skin exposed – breasts, chest, stomachs, thighs, throats, and other places.
Harry stood back and pulled back the duvet for her to slide under. In that moment, Ruth saw how sturdy Harry was, his shoulders and biceps strong and muscled, his thighs powerful. He had a belly, but he was a middle-aged man. He seemed a little heavier than when she'd last been in England. There was a layer of excess flesh around his middle, and he had the beginnings of jowls, and the flesh at his throat was no longer as tight. Strangely, for a woman who had always preferred her men to be young and fit, the signs of aging on Harry's body didn't bother her. He was still Harry, and Harry was a very attractive man, and he knew how to play her body with similar skill to a harpist with the Royal Philharmonic. Ruth slid under the duvet, and across to the other side of the bed to make room for him. In that moment, as she turned to face Harry as he climbed into bed beside her, her eyes focussed at last on his erection. He was fully erect, as hard as any man thirty years younger than he. For a moment she wondered how what she saw was going to fit inside her.
"Is something wrong?" he asked her, sliding across to wrap his arms around her. "Do you still want this?"
"Why do you ask?"
"I saw you looking at …... this," he said, thrusting himself against her thigh, "and you looked scared. We don't have to do this if you're not ready."
"I was surprised, not scared."
"Surprised?"
"You're so …... hard, Harry."
"That's what happens when a man becomes aroused, Ruth."
"I know that." Ruth waited, running her fingers along Harry's sides, trying to find the right words.
"Say it, Ruth. Say what you want to say."
Ruth took a deep breath, realising that this was not the moment for her to be struck by shyness. "I was wondering …... how something that big will fit inside me."
When he didn't answer, she pulled away from him slightly to look at his face. He was looking at her with a playful expression, and the beginnings of a smile on his lips.
"You do know that vaginal walls stretch, Ruth. If they can accommodate a baby's head, then they can manage little ol' this," and he again pushed himself against her thigh.
Ruth buried her face against his bare chest and giggled, feeling quite the idiot.
"You must think me so naïve," she said, again pulling back to look at Harry's face.
"I think you're extraordinary, Ruth, and I feel privileged that you've chosen me to be your lover."
"You're not my lover yet."
"Then maybe we should stop talking, and do something about that."
Harry carefully took Ruth's hand, the one she was running up and down his side, and led her down to his erection, still hard, as it rested against her leg. He placed her hand on him, and smiled at her.
"Perhaps if you touch it, Ruth, it will demystify it. It's just a piece of flesh filled with most of the blood which normally helps my brain function, so if I'm not making much sense, that is why."
Harry was still smiling, as she grasped him in her palm, and began to stroke him slowly.
"Is that okay?" she asked.
"That's …..." and he was unable to finish his sentence, as he rolled on to his back, and sighed with pleasure.
Ruth was enjoying herself, but she knew she should stop soon, or else he might come too soon. She took her hand from his penis, and gently cupped his balls, aware of how delicate they were, and then she feathered her fingers down one inner thigh to his knee, and then back up the other inner thigh. Harry's eyes were closed, and his expression was one of bliss. Ruth's fingers, barely touching his skin, then travelled up over his genitals, and to his belly. Harry groaned then, and turned towards her, his eyes open, his pupils dilated. He touched her abdomen with his fingers, and began a journey over her skin, in much the same way as she had just done for him.
It was when his fingers found her entrance, and slipped inside her that Ruth's first climax overwhelmed her. His mouth was on one of her breasts, and his tongue vibrated across her nipple, sending pulses between her breasts and her pelvic region. Harry kept stimulating her while her orgasm continued, almost exhausting her. When her body had stopped pulsing, she curled into a ball, against Harry's chest, while she rested. Eventually, her fingers again found his erection, and she ran the backs of her fingers lightly along his length, while he lifted her face to his, and kissed her deeply.
Harry was a very good kisser. She'd remembered that from the evening after they'd gone to dinner, when she'd led him into her house so that they could share a proper kiss. Ruth suddenly had no idea why she'd turned down his invitation to go to dinner again. Nothing about that time in her life made sense any more. How could she deny him this? How could she have thought it was a good idea to deny herself this? They needed one another, and in a world full of pain and struggle, this was healthy and safe and rather wonderful. Perhaps she had been afraid of feeling …... feeling what? …... feeling alive, feeling arousal like she'd felt this night, feeling love. She loved Harry, of that she had no doubt. She'd never ever stopped loving him.
By the time Ruth again opened her eyes, she was lying on her back, her legs apart, knees bent, and with Harry resting his body between them. His face was very close to hers, and he reached down to kiss her slowly, his tongue searching inside her mouth, as though he was familiarising himself with this part of her. She ran her hands down his sides and back again. She felt the head of his penis against her, so she lifted her hips until he could enter her. He slipped inside her quietly. All Ruth's fears about him being too big to fit were quashed in a matter of seconds. He fit her like they were born to go together – foot in sock, finger in glove, sword in sheath. She sighed as he eased himself fully inside her.
"Are you okay?" he whispered against her ear.
"Better than okay," she answered, placing her lips against his neck. "You're wonderful," she said as she breathed out.
"So are you."
Harry began moving inside her, slowly at first, until he found the right angle, and they adjusted themselves to fit one another. This was their first time, and so they were spending a little time in familiarising themselves with the other body. Eventually they felt comfortable, and so Harry thrust deeper, and a little faster. Ruth opened her eyes to find his on her. His eyes were penetrating her, matching the penetration of another part of her. Ruth never wanted to forget this moment. This was special. This was Harry. This was her first time with Harry, and she felt …... she felt …... Ruth's orgasm burst through her, creating a spasm through her whole body. She breathed out Harry's name, a cross between a sigh and a cry. He sped up, and followed her, gasping as his climax had him pushing into her as deeply as he could.
They lay together, he still inside her, his head resting beside hers, her knees bent, holding him tight, her arms around his shoulders, his body weight resting on his elbows, until their breathing steadied, until the stars in their eyes blinked out.
When she felt Harry lift his head, she opened her eyes to look at him. The raw love in his eyes brought tears to her own.
"Are you alright?" he asked, his concern shown by the crease between his eyebrows.
"That's the third time you've asked me," she said quietly. "I'm fine, Harry. More than fine. Are you alright?"
Harry smiled then, his face softening with the smile. "I'm about the most alright I've ever been."
Something broke inside Ruth then, and she began sobbing, a few tears running from the edges of her eyes on to the pillow beneath her head.
Harry withdrew from her then, and holding her close to him, he rolled on to his side on the bed beside her. He put his hand behind her head, and drew her face to his shoulder. "It's alright Ruth. What's wrong? Did I hurt you."
Despite the sobbing which she seemed unable to stop, Ruth pulled her head away, and looked at him. "No, Harry, you didn't hurt me. I'm happy. I think I'm crying because I'm happy. I've spent so long running and hiding, and now I can …... stop running …... stop being scared." Ruth grabbed the duvet, and wiped her eyes with the corner.
She allowed him to pull her close again, and she let her head drop on to his chest. It felt safe against his wide body, and the post coital tingling in her body was like the softest of fairy music.
"Harry," she said after a while, "stay."
He took a while to answer her. "Do you mean stay the night?"
"Yes. I want you to stay here. With me."
So he stayed, and they slept, and Ruth's bath water went cold.
Ruth slept in, something which had been only an occasional luxury for her while she was in exile. She opened her eyes to find herself alone in bed, but the dent in the pillow beside hers told her that last night had been no dream, and the note under the clock beside her bed told her that Harry had already left. She buried her face in the pillow where his head had rested as he slept, and she breathed in his scent. She felt tears pricking her eyes, so she took the note from under the clock, and read it.
Dearest Ruth, he wrote,
I had an early morning call into work. Something about Lucas North's killers. There is no such thing as a Sunday lie-in at MI-5. I'll ring you later today when the dust settles. Last night was wonderful. It will fuel my smile all day, and my staff will be gossiping about what drug I might be on. Little do they know that my drug of choice is you.
I love you
Harry xx
Ruth traced her finger over his name, and then the kisses he'd added after his name. She put her lips to the note. She became aware of a small voice inside her telling her that it was happening too fast with Harry, that this was not wise, and that this was not the way she and he did things, but she silenced that voice. How could something which felt so good, so right, be bad for them, for her? It was only the night previously that she had decided to not deny Harry, to not deny herself. She was not about to go back on that decision.
Ruth slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. Perhaps now would be a fine time to take that bath.
Harry arrived back at Ruth's flat around 8 pm. He had showered and changed into casual clothes, and in his hands he carried a takeaway Indian meal and a bottle of white wine.
"Do you think I could come into work tomorrow?" Ruth asked him once they were sitting in the living room, the bottle of wine between them on the low table.
"I don't see why not. Young Tariq could do with your assistance. I think you'll get on well with him."
"Malcolm filled me in on those who are on the Grid. It sounded like he admired Tariq."
"Malcolm admires anyone who can speak his language. I introduced them to one another last year, soon after Tariq joined us. I thought the lad could do with a mentor."
Ruth noticed a small change in Harry. He seemed distracted and a little distant, but that could have been because of his long day at work.
"Is something wrong?" she asked at last.
Harry looked startled, and pulled her against him. He kissed her temple and slid his arm around her. "It was a long day, Ruth, and Tariq uncovered some information from Lucas' phone which has disturbed me."
"Do you want to share what that was? After all, I'll be at work tomorrow, and one of my roles with you – both professionally and personally – is to be your confidante."
Harry sighed heavily. "I guess I ought to be telling you this, even though I'd rather keep it to myself."
"A burden shared is a burden halved …... or something like that. I'm here, Harry. I'm here to help shoulder those burdens. You shouldn't have to carry them all on your own."
Harry lifted her chin with his free hand, and kissed her gently. The uncontrolled passion of the night before was no longer there. This was Real Life pushing it's cold wet nose into their cosy life.
"Lucas received a text message before he went to meet the Chinese in Gloucester." He breathed in and out quite heavily before he continued. "Even though the number of the phone which had sent the message was blocked, Tariq has developed a tricky little program which can identify any phone anywhere in the world. Something to do with being able to remotely identify the IMEI number. The phone which sent the message to Lucas, which led him into the trap which resulted in his death, was owned by a woman called Stephanie Hoff. Her husband is a German aeronautical engineer who has a contract with an English aeronautical company. Malcolm also suspects that this man is selling designs for weapons to some Middle Eastern countries."
"That's awful for Lucas, but isn't this good news? You know know who to pull in, don't you?"
"Yes, that's one way of looking at it. We have some agents from Six who are stationed in Stuttgart out searching for her as we speak. The bad news is …... this woman, Stephanie Hoff, is the same woman with whom I was having sex for almost a year and a half."