Day 3: Baking Our Love

Cookies might sound like a great gift for Christmas. Special bonuses inside make them even better.

Rating: PG - some language

"This is the dumbest gift idea you've ever come up with."

"It is not."

"And I'm a mess. We're a mess. This kitchen is a mess."

Nancy flicks flour on her husband. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Ned wipes the flour from his eye lids. "You know what? I could retort with this bowl of flour, but I'm not. Nope. Instead, I'm going to leave you to clean up while I get this flour out of my hair."

"Get back here, Ned. Seriously? Take a joke. Ned!" Nancy groans and looks around at the mess. "Bummer."

She sighs and grabs the nearest bowl; she's not happy Ned left her with all the cleanup, but it was her idea after all. And she did flick the flour. Nancy is halfway through the dishes when Ned returns and begins to clean up a nearby counter. Nancy feels the annoyance radiating off her husband and guesses he's calculating about sixteen different revenge plans.

"Never again," Ned growls.

"Thanks for the news flash, Ned. I kinda already got that."

"Well, sometimes you never know with you. For example, I think making everyone cookies for Christmas is a bad idea, Nancy. I really don't think we should make everyone cookies, Nancy. Don't you think gift cards are a better idea, Nancy?"

Nancy huffs. "If you hadn't been such a cry baby, this wouldn't have been a problem."

"It became a problem, Nancy, when you insisted on doing something I wanted no part of. Do you think spending an entire Saturday baking cookies sounds fun to me? It's football season! I wanted to watch football!"

Nancy rolls her eyes. "You didn't have a problem this morning."

Ned throws up his hands. "I was trying to be nice. It's Christmas. I didn't expect to be buried three feet in flour for six hours."

"Then leave! Don't help. I don't need it."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Nancy watches Ned storm from the room. She's angry and frustrated, and she doesn't have time for this. She glances at the mess in the kitchen and feels her temper boil.

It doesn't take her long to clean the remaining the counters and dishes, and she soon has each packaged cookie jar displayed beautifully. Nancy steps back and admires her work. Ned might hate it, but each package looks perfect enough for a Martha Stewart magazine.

Nancy places the final jar on the counter and sighs with contentment. She sets to change out of her clothes but pauses at the doorway. "Oh, my ring!"

She walks to the sink where a small container rests above the sink. It is the home of her rings when she's on kitchen duty. Nancy opens the box and gasps.

The ring is missing.

Nancy frantically moves bowls and looks through cabinets. She holds each cookie jar and even resorts to sorting through the trash. No ring.

Ned is relaxing in a recliner when Nancy rushes in. He looks up at her. "What?"

"Where's my ring?"

"How the hell should I know? It's your ring."

"Well, it's gone!"

"What?"

"Did you hide it?"

Ned snorts. "Why would I do that?"

"To get back at me."

"You're insane, Nancy. I'm pissed at you. I'm not going to hide something that cost a few months' worth of pay!"

Nancy takes in a sharp breath. "It's gone then. I, I checked my ring container. It's not there. I checked the trash, the counter, the bowls, the cabinets-It's gone. Ned, my ring is gone!"

Ned is beside Nancy before she realizes. "Shh, hey look at me. We'll find it, okay? Where'd you have it last?"

"I don't remember."

"Okay. I'll check the kitchen again, and you look in our room. Okay?"

Nancy nods and sets out. Each room she looks into produces zero rings. She's nearly in tears when she heads back to the kitchen and spots Ned holding a cookie jar.

"Didn't find it?"

Nancy shakes her head.

Ned hands her the cookie jar. "Nancy, were you wearing your ring when we baked the cookies?"

"I don't know."

Her husband sighs. "You were, weren't you? Nancy."

"Ned, these cookies are going all over the country. What if my ring is in one?"

"I guess, well, I guess we have to look."

Nancy's jaw drops. "Ned!"

"What? You want your ring shipped off to New Mexico?"

"No."

"Well."

"Fine," she concedes. "We'll break the cookies."

They eat a few and smash several dozen more. Nancy feels a part of her soul crushing with each cookie they destroy.

"At least these cookies taste delicious," Ned offers.

"But no one will know! Look at all our hard work ruined."

Ned shrugs. "I told you it was-" he stops as a cookie collides with his face.

"Shut up."

Ned knocks the crumbs from himself. "So that's how you want to do this." He grabs a cookie and smashes it against her head.

Nancy reaches for ammunition and aims them. Cookies fly across the room as laughter floods the air. The cookies are almost gone when Ned clutches his face.

"Ow! What the hell are you throwing at me?"

Nancy snorts. "Cookies, dummy. Wait, my ring!" She dives towards the pile beneath her husband and sorts through the mess until her hand grasps metal. "My ring!"

"Well, look at that," Ned whispers.

Nancy feels tears on her cheeks. "My ring."

"Hey, hey now," Ned murmurs into her hair. He wipes away her tears. "It's okay. See? We found it. No need to cry."

"I thought I'd lost it for good!"

"Well, no more tears. At least not on the ring's account. If you must cry, look at our kitchen."

Nancy does and groans. "I'm not cleaning that up."

"Yes, you are. This is your mess too."

"This sucks."

"Hey, I tried to tell you this was a terrible idea."

"Shut up, Ned."

She hears him chuckle. "Can we at least buy gift cards now?"

"You know it."

Ned grins. "So, who's up for cookies?"

"Seriously, don't bring up cookies to me anytime soon."

"Cookies."

"Ned."

"Cookies."

"Ned, I'm serious."

"Mhm, cookies."

"I'm gonna kill you, and I know how to get away with it."

"Cookies."

"Ned."

"Cookies."

"Ned!"