A/N: My reviews are actually in double figures! Wow! Thank you to everyone who reviewed!
Disclaimer: One day, I may be paid to write. But I am making absolutely no money out of this fic.
He's quite recovered now, though he's never told anyone about the woman. What holds him down to this existence (Rose was right, this isn't living) isn't physical weakness or, if he's honest, any concern over leaving Jackie alone again. After all, it's a time machine, he could go and explore the universe for a week and come back a minute later …or thereabouts, the Tardis is the best ship in the universe but best doesn't really equate to most accurate. It's not being bored of the Universe…how could anyone get bored of the Universe? Especially him, who taught the Face of Boe to look at the universe anew.
Every night, he stares at the sky, and even when he can't see a single star, he knows that they're there and something inside him that might be called a soul cries out to be amongst them. Then he steps inside, burying it beneath the surface of the mask.
What grounds him is the impossibility of travelling without Rose. She could make the dustiest moon bright with possibilities. Anything could be out there. She didn't know what was out there, so she had to explore. Without her, he knows, those vibrant markets, fiery sunsets and beautiful landscapes will lose some indefinable aspect of their allure. When her hand was in his, everything seemed somehow brighter and more vivid. Even when they were running for their lives. His hand is always empty now.
xxx
She's noticed. Every night, for the last three months, he's been standing on the balcony, gazing upwards. She knows he wants to leave; what she doesn't know is why he doesn't. Three months of watching TV and doing the housework. He's developed some sort of twitch. Ever so often, he'll slowly curl his fingers over then force them straight again. He did it when he came back with the shopping and stood by while she unpacked it, showing him where to put things. He does it when they're watching telly and when she comes back with a soft purple rabbit toy for Romana. And especially when he looks at the sky. He's welcome as long as he wants to stay but she knows he doesn't want to stay.
xxx
"Hello, anybody in?" he calls as he manoeuvres the pram through the doorway. The lift is always working now, thanks to regular applications of his sonic screwdriver. He pushes the pram in the living room and unclips the straps that hold Romana in. Lifting her, he makes a show of buckling under her weight. She giggles delightedly.
"You're getting heavy, my girl. And we wouldn't want you dropped on your pretty head now, would we?" If anyone had told him, over five years ago, when he first grabbed Rose's hand that it would lead to him cooing over their daughter in a London council flat, he wouldn't have believed them. At least he wasn't spouting gibberish such as "Oo wants a biccie? Does diddums want a biccie?" At least, not yet. Jackie's voice made him turn round.
"You're back."
"Obviously. Sorry it took so long, they were out of…is something wrong?"
"Why are you back?"
"Sorry?" He looks politely bemused and her hand itches to slap that expression off his face, to get some response.
"You're not the Doctor." It's a statement. "The Doctor isn't human. He doesn't, he can't…"
His fingers curl over and he forces them straight.
"You're doing it again! Why do you keep doing that?"
"My hand is always empty," he murmurs, almost to himself.
"What…" Memories suddenly flood her mind. Walking back to the flat in the snow- no, the ash- behind the Doctor and Rose, their fingers still entwined. The time she bought them both a pair of gloves when they came for Christmas 2008, the coldest winter for over a century, and then never once saw them wear them…she had been surprised their hands hadn't got frozen together. The Doctor and Rose standing together, joined by their clasped hands as they told her their news.
"You're hiding."
The mask shatters. She would cheer if she wasn't so worried about what lies underneath.
"How can I? How, how can I just… just go back, travel the universe, without her? I can't go back to how it was before her. That life is gone."
"I imagine that would be rather difficult to recreate. I don't think Romana would understand that she had to pretend to be non-existent."
He looks down in surprise. He's got so used to her weight in his arms; he's forgotten he's holding her.
"That's your daughter. Rose's daughter. The last Time Lady. There's a universe out there, Doctor, and it's her inheritance."
He stares at her for an interminable time; she meets his gaze resolutely. Suddenly, a grin stretches across his face and, grabbing her hand, he dives for the door.
xxx
He's pulled her down five flights of steps, too fast for her legs to keep up and across the tarmac to the Tardis. While her body tries to recover, her mind is trying to work out how it is that she has practically flown down five flights of stairs and not broken her neck. The Doctor disappears into the depths of the Tardis, reappears minus miraculously still-sleeping Romana and disappears again out of the front door. Five minutes later, she's breathing normally, though her mind has made no progress, when he staggers through the door laden with bags. He appears offended at her amusement when he drops a couple of bags and then manages to trip over them.
"Blame Romana. Most of this is hers. How can she have accumulated so much stuff already? She's not even six months old!"
"The doting grandparent is supposed to shower her descendants with gifts. Besides, it serves you right for making me a granny so young." Her eye falls on a case still dangling from his arm. "Hang on, that's mine!"
"It was already packed and everything. Going somewhere, were you?"
"It's my overnight case for when I go round to Howard's." It is really none of his business.
He smiles and extends his arm. "That's quite a long term relationship. It must be about, what, four years now?"
"In November," she returns to the subject, "but why have you got it?"
"I thought you deserved a reward. A reward to the tune of a week on Vifildis."
"You want to drag me off to some planet with a name that sounds like a particularly nasty disease?"
"It's famous, galaxy-wide."
She isn't impressed.
"It's a pamper planet. Spas, massages, mud baths, every single beauty treatment you can think of and many you won't have heard of. I'm friends with the owner, saved his life once. I can just drop you off and you can spend a week getting the full V.I.P. treatment. Then I'll even let you loose on Jupiter Five with my psychic credit card. It's a space station, a massive shopping centre. About a thousand times bigger than Bluewater. And my psychic credit card has unlimited credit," he adds, in response to her mystified look.
"But why…"
"Jackie, you've given us the universe. It must run in the family," he smiles.
"And I'll even bring you back in time for your beans on toast!"
She's impressed.
A/N: Sorry it's a bit short, but update should be quite soon. This story probably won't be finished for quite a while. I would really appreciate reviews.