Author's Chapter Notes:

Thank you to everyone that is reading this one! I can't begin to express how happy I am that you are giving this story a try.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters SM created. I just like the idea of letting them run wild with my imagination.

I wish I could say that retreated back to my self imposed emotional prison, but I didn't. I did think about it that night and knew he was right. Edward was never coming back. In all the time that he was gone, he'd never reached out to me. Not once. If it weren't for cutting my hand, I wouldn't have even seen his family. He was a part of my past and was never coming back. It hurt to finally admit that to myself, but I had to. If I wanted any chance at a normal life, I had to admit it.

I'd run into Alice a few weeks after things with Jacob started. By started, I mean, after we started things. She looked great. She found a way to tell me that she hadn't heard from him, without coming right out and saying it. She had also met someone in Seattle that she was very sure was the one. While that was hard to hear, I knew I couldn't run from it. I was as happy for her as my slowly dying jealous self would allow. She asked how I was, and I lied. I didn't mention Jacob. I told her the standard line. School was good and so was I. She gave me her number's and email and made me promise to call her soon. She had something to ask me when the time was right, whatever that meant.

Things with Jacob were on the slow path. I couldn't just jump right in. I knew if I was going to give things with him a fair chance, I needed to pace things slowly and let it all sink in. There was plenty of kissing that after a few weeks moved from base to heavy petting. I had to admit, he was good. I don't know why I never thought he would be. He had a way of bringing me to the edge with just a few words, groping, and stroking and kissing my back. As things go, it wasn't long before we took it to the next step.

It was almost five months since he'd walked back into my life. I wasn't sure where things would end up, but I knew where I was wasn't such a bad place to be. I had been to the darkest place almost a year before and I was in no hurry to go back.

We decided to go to First Beach for a bon fire with some of his friends one night. I really didn't want to go since I knew some of his friends still questioned our relationship. More accurately, they questioned me. I suppose it was only fair, but it didn't mean I had to like it.

We sat around the fire, on a large piece of driftwood and watched the fire trying to reach higher. Jacob wrapped his arm around me and I settled into his chest. It felt safe and I admitted to myself that I liked it.

I brushed my hand along the inside of his thigh, stopping just short of being publicly obscene. I dipped my hand lower toward the underside of his thigh and squeezed. His eyes flashed a look of shock at me. He'd always been the aggressor, not me, so this was new to him. His eye brow raised, asking me silently what I was doing. I raised my hand higher on his thigh and extended my thumb so it lightly caressed his member.

There was no mistaking the look he gave me. It was the look I always saw just before we called our petting done for the night. I nodded to him to confirm what I could only hope he was silently asking. He quickly stood up, pulling me with him. I laughed quietly as I listened to him make a hasty good night to his friends.

The drive back to my house was tense, but in a very good way. Jacob's hand tangled in my hair and massaged my neck, occasionally bringing his thumb down to brush across my spine. I made familiar tracks up and down his thigh, raking my nails against his jeans. Every so often, I would repeat the motion I'd made on the beach. Each time I did, I saw Jacob's jaw drop slightly, sucking in a quick breath.

"Bells, I gotta know. Is all this going to leave me frustrated?"

"Not if I can help it."

"Are you serious? I mean, are you sure?"

"Jake, you've been patient way too long." I heard a low, snarling sound coming from him which only further turned me on.

As soon as the front door was closed and locked, Jacob stripped my coat off and flung it toward the front door. I was worried this would hit some animalistic level, and that was the last thing I wanted. I pushed my hands against his chest, catching his attention.

"Jake. I need this to go slow. It's all that I'll ask you tonight."

Jacob looked deep into my eyes. His hands raised and gently cupped my face. He stilled his breathing as best he could. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he would do his best but that he couldn't just turn off what he was feeling that fast either.

He kissed my lips before setting off on a trail down my neck and back up. He pulled back again and I could see some of the lust gone from his face. It had merged into trying his best to behave. When I saw how hard it was for him to fight what was feeling all too natural to both of us, I gave in.

My lips brushed over Jacob's, never really lingering for too long. His hands tangled in my hair and firmly stroked my back. I couldn't believe what I was feeling. It was almost unnatural. His lips met mine and he moved them over my upper and lower lip, still not kissing me. I growled in frustration and felt him smile at my reaction. He lowered his lips to my jaw and down to my collar bone. I grabbed a fist full of his hair and yanked him back to my lips when the phone rang.

"Crap," I muttered.

"It's my dad. He wants me to come home tonight." His breath touched my skin as he spoke between kisses, further pushing me over the edge.

"Why?" I questioned, closing my eyes and focusing on just what Jacob was doing to my neck, panting in the process.

"He doesn't think it's right to be living over here all this time . . . in another man's house. He's worried something inappropriate might happen," he said, his husky laughter vibrated against my skin.

"Why don't I just tell him how very much you are needed here and let him in on exactly what is going on here tonight." I was flooded with passion and felt as if I would burst any second.

"Fine with me," he said, brushing his lips against mine once again. I reached for the phone, Jacob never moved, his lips hovered over mine.

"Hello," I said, holding back a moan brought on by the feather kisses Jacob was placing over my lips.

"Bella?"

I froze.

Edward.

No! He can't be on the phone, not now, not tonight.

"Bella? Are you there? Are you alright?" His voice was strained, and I could only imagine why.

"No, I'm here." My heart was slamming against my chest. I froze in Jacob's arms. He didn't let go of me, but he did pull back trying to get a better look at my face.

"You sound, I don't know, out of breath or something." His voice changed. It was less strained and more concerned.

You could say that. I realized just how breathless Jacob had left me. Jacob. Shit! I moved my hand from his shoulder, sliding it down to his chest. I patted his chest before lightly shoving against him. He broke his hold from me, reluctance showing in his eyes. I smiled weakly at him and held my hand up, silently asking for a moment without him. I walked up the stairs and closed my bedroom door.

"Bella? Hello?" I'm sure it must have seemed like I hung up, it had been a while since I last responded to him.

"Yeah, no. I'm here." I sat on the edge of the bed and felt my knees shaking along with the rest of my body. My heart was caught in a fevered dance, my heart torn by sadness, aching, and longing mixed with anger.

"How are you?" His voice was cautious. He must have known how close he was to the powder keg asking this question.

"How do you think I am?" I spat out. Honestly, how did he think I was? It was the first time I had talked to him since I walked away from him. Eleven long months ago.

"About the same as I am." His voice was quiet. I hated when he did this. He was admitting the truth that neither of us wanted to hear nor ready for.

"I seriously doubt that." I was close to losing it, but I knew if I did, Jacob would hear me and come rushing up the stairs ending what I was sure was a bad dream anyway.

"It's the truth."

"I know it is." I was referring to his tone, not that I wanted to believe his words.

"If you know it is, why are you nearly yelling at me?"

"Because you can't possibly feel the same as I do!" That was it. My voice hit the hardened edge that my heart had been feeling since he left. I was slightly worried it was just loud enough for Jacob to hear.

"Can we talk about this?" I knew what he was doing. He was staring intently at the floor.

"Is there anything to talk about? It's almost been a year, Edward." I made sure to say his name as harshly as I could manage. It wasn't too hard. It was either that or start crying.

"I know."

"Right."

"Bella . . . " his voice drifted off, I couldn't tell what he was thinking and it scared me. I wanted everything back the moment I heard his voice. But things had changed, so much so I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

"Why? Why now?" I couldn't help the squeak in my voice. I was too close to crying now. The anger mixed with hearing him and hoping this was the phone call I had waited close to twelve months to get.

"I'll be in town next week. Can I see you?" His voice was soft, pleading almost.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea." Tears were quietly gliding down my cheeks.

"There's someone else, isn' there?" He sounded surprised. And . . . hurt?

"That's not the point." Oh crap! How do I explain this? To either of them?

"There is. I understand. I'm sorry I called. I won't bother you again." His voice was so quiet. I nearly missed hearing him.

"Edward. Listen. I'm not sure, ok. I don't know what seeing you would do." The back of my hand was wiping the tears away. I waited for him to say something, nervously biting my lip.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"For what part?" I was pulling my eyebrows so tightly together, it was aching.

"For everything." I could hear the hurt in his voice. It echoed mine.

"Bells? You alright in there?" Jacob asked through the door after knocking a few times.

Damn it, Jake. Not now!

"Who was that?" Edward asked, his tone quickly shifting back into the protector mode I was all too familiar with.

"No one." I tried to sound as if it was nothing to worry about, to throw him of the scent. I should have known better.

"You do have someone over there. Who is it, Bella?" His voice was hard.

"It's no one. Just . . . Jacob."

"Jacob?" he hissed.

"Yes. Like I said, no one," I argued.

"I get in on Tuesday and we will talk." There was a hint of a growl in his voice before the line went dead.

Shit!

"Bells?"

"Yeah, I'll be right out." I turned off the phone and walked over to the mirror. I looked like hell. Who was I kidding, hell probably looked better than I did. I knew I couldn't hide this from Jacob. I did my best to wipe the streaked make-up from my face and blew my nose. I gave a final disapproving glance at my wrecked self before opening the door.

"Holy crap, you look awful," Jacob said before taking me in his arms. I tried to relax but I only became more rigid. "Bells? You alright?"

"I'm fine." I went back to my post-Edward mantra. Great. I thought those days were behind me.

"You don't look fine." He raised his hand to my face and gently stroked my cheek. I came close to crying again.

"How much did you hear?" I know it would eventually come up. Things like this always did. If I brought it up, maybe I would be able to have control.

"Enough to know it was Edward," he answered after a long pause. He didn't loosen his hold on me. Instead, he started to rub his thumb back and forth across my lower back. He pulled me in tight and tangled his other hand in my hair.

I rested my head against his chest and tried my best to relax. I knew that I was using him, but I didn't care.

"Come on, let's go to bed." He held me tight as he walked me back into the bedroom.

We laid down on the bed and he pulled up the blanket resting at the foot to cover us. He pulled me over to rest my head on his chest and I sank into him. I couldn't escape my conversation with Edward no matter how hard I tried to block it. I decided to listen to the steady breathing and heart beat Jacob offered. I was nearly asleep when I heard him say something, but I wasn't sure if he was saying it to himself or to me.

"Stupid. Why are you still here? It's always been him. You never stood a chance."

Chapter End Notes:

I know this chapter was somewhat short, but there is a reason for my madness. At least that is what I keep telling myself. *laughs quietly*

While in the end, this will be an Edward and Bella fic, I want everyone to know how hard it was to not let Jake and Bella be together. My version of Jake, I think, is very different then most out there and I hope you all will agree in the end. I think you will like him tons more by the end of this fic. Or I hope you could.

Thanks for reading. If you feel like leaving a review, it will brighten my day. I promise to respond as soon as RL allows.