Sitting on the black winged arm chair she shivered as she stared into the flames, nothing sinking in really, just staying on the surface, she knew they were gone but her mind refused to believe it though her fading dark mark was proof that he wasn't coming to rescue her this time. Her wedding ring was silent on her finger, no pulse of life going through it anymore. The charms and spells Rodolphus had put on it were broken now he was dead, the ring had channeled her emotions to him so whenever she felt overly threatened or anxious and he wasn't there, he'd know and be able to find her but now the spell was broken and the ring cold. She curled up cat like on the chair, she had no purpose now, a soldier with no commander, a servant with no master. The world thinking her dead, maybe she should be, if she were she'd not be so alone. A strangled sob and she hid her face in her arms, curling her legs under her and closing her eyes. She was lost now, both mentally and physically, Bella never did well alone and now she was very alone. Memories of Azkaban assaulted her and she was to exhausted to block them out and it tore louder sobs from her that fast became screams of fury. Within ten minutes she'd completely destroyed the room, sitting in the middle of the floor with her teddy bear pressed to her chest as she rocked back and forth, she'd tried summoning her patronus to send to her sister but all she'd got was a wisp of white smoke, she'd not done it for many years and didn't think she still could. The owl her father had given her to keep here was long gone. She was stuck alone in the gathering dark.
After several hours had passed the sky outside was dark now with the only light in the room coming from the dying fire and the few lasting candles. Shadows lingered in the corners but she was to exhausted to care, she'd stopped crying, there were no tears left for her to shed. Shivering she slipped closer to the dying fire, the teddy bear still in her arms, that small part of her that was still thinking clearly was telling her she couldn't stay without healing for much longer, the throb of the wound on her chest was getting steadily worse. She dared not apparate anywhere, she had no idea where her sister was. They had so many places unknown to anyone but a select few it could take her days to search them all and in her current state she'd not make it passed one apparition. The smell of blood was making her feel sick, she was covered in it, her own and other people's. Many had fallen at her wand but in the end it hadn't been enough, they'd still lost the fight, her master was dead, killed a boy and her husband gone forever. She was second in command to her master, holding higher authority than anyone else in the ranks but to the world she was dead, following her Lord to hell. The fight was gone out of her and she was content to let them think her dead it was after all how she felt inside, she was very much alone in the world. No one would ever understand her like Rodolphus had, he was her soul mate and now he was gone. Just as the grief started to overwhelm her the soft hooting of an owl made her head snap up and her eyes fell on the great grey owl her father had given her when he gave this place. It was looking at her from the back of the chair, it's huge yellow eyes taking her in. For a moment she just stared at it, owls where loyal creatures and of course this one was no different it was still here after almost three years of not seeing anyone hunting for itself and living happily in the apartment coming and going through the open window in the master bedroom."You stayed." She spoke to the bird with a soft whisper and it hooted it's response hoping closer and letting her reach out to stroke it's soft feathers reforming the bond between a painful ten minutes she'd gotten herself to her feet, she couldn't risk writing to her sister. The ministry would be combing the sky's for owls, it's what happened the last time the war had ended she was to weak to have to fight off auror's and she'd be damned if she was going back to Azkaban for the rest of her life. The owl was perched on her knee as she smoothed it's back, she was looking at it and it was looking at her as if they were talking to each other and if anyone asked she'd say they were. She wasn't mad, nor crazy, nor insane she was gifted. And when the bird took flight and left her alone in the house to carry out her orders of finding Narcissa and returning with the information maybe people wouldn't think one of the brightest yet darkest witches of all time wasn't so crazy after all.