Wizarding Witness
It was early evening in the city of Ankh-Morpork, and Rincewind the wizard was quivering under the stares of three watchmen, well two watchmen and a watchwoman. Captain Carrot stared down at the little man (who was considerably shorter than him) and said,
"Don't worry, you're not in trouble, we just need to know who started the fight."
Rincewind looked nervously at Corporal Nobbs, who wrinkled his nose and began cleaning his ear with his small finger, then inspected it before inserting the finger in his mouth. Now, normally Carrot's voice could calm almost anybody, but Rincewind's fear was one of the only attributes on the entire disc that was perhaps able to hold against Carrot's Charisma.
"Look, could please tell us which bloody troll it was?" growled Sergeant Angua, who was thoroughly annoyed, mainly because it had taken at least half an hour to calm the whimpering wizard. Rincewind shrunk under her stare.
"Now, sergeant, it wasn't necessarily a troll" tittered Captain Carrot
"Yes, the day it wasn't a troll is the day Satan goes to work in a snowplough" muttered Angua quietly.
"I-I'm afraid of telling you" squeaked Rincewind, pulling his robe over his nose
"What ever for?" asked Carrot, bending down to be eyelevel with the man
"Because I'm afraid if I tell you, I may lose my head" said Rincewind
"I think 'e means it literally, captain" pointed Nobby, sounding very modest
"Don't be silly corporal, I'm sure he was speaking metaphorically" said Carrot, smiling
"Well, he, he didn't say 'you're gonna lose your head', he actually said 'If you rat me out to dem watch people, I'm gonna rip yew up and tear off yer 'ead with me teef, and suck out yer insides!' was, uh, was more what he said" explained Rincewind.
"Well, maybe he was speaking metaphorically" shrugged Carrot.
((4th in 100! Don't know why I put Rincewind there, he seemed like a good character to use.))