A Taste of Eds to Come, Part Four
Edd lolled to the side of his bed and wondered what time it was. The light from the window could've indicated dawn or dusk. He felt dizzy and disoriented. The ornament glistened in his hand but Edd fought the urge to peek and found a different hiding place for it.
From the sounds coming from downstairs, Edd could tell both his parents were home. "It must be dusk," he figured. Sounds of the microwave door being opened and something sizzling in a frying pan reminded him that he hadn't eaten for several hours. A second realization jolted him. He hadn't done any of his chores. He hoped his parents hadn't noticed, but a sticky note on his bedroom door spoke otherwise.
"Eddward – A family meeting is scheduled for 8:00 PM. Your presence is requested. Sincerely, Father."
Edd trembled for a moment. Foreboding collected in his stomach; pitting it with a lump of black tar.
He quietly descended the stairs and crept toward the kitchen. Charlotte sliced lettuce, bell peppers and tomatoes on a cutting board near the sink while Kenneth glanced over his mail. Tofu burgers sizzled in the frying pan. A steaming bowl of corn and garbanzo beans nested on a potholder at the center of the table. Only two settings were placed. Edd was definitely in trouble.
Edd lingered at the kitchen doorway for a bit before entering and taking his seat at the table. He fidgeted his fingers in his lap and waited for someone to say something. Ken looked up from his Evening Gazette and adjusted his reading glasses at Edd while Charlotte arranged the sliced produce on toasted multigrain buns. She slid the tofu patties into the waiting sandwiches and brought the plates to the table. Ken washed his hands and joined them. Edd's place remained bare.
The next twenty minutes went by like an ice flow. Ken and Charlotte ate their food and spoke without acknowledging Edd's presence. Edd fought to keep himself as small and unnoticeable as possible. He practiced mental exercises to keep his stomach from growling.
He wondered what Ed and Eddy were up to before remembering his earlier outburst. Fighting with his friends. Skipping his chores. Hiding in his room. Lying in bed all day. Edd was not behaving as expected.
Charlotte and Ken finished their food at the same time and lingered in discussion before getting up and walking to the den. Edd still had better than an hour before the family meeting, but that time would be filled with cleaning. His parents deliberately left the dishes and frying pan for him to take care of. He glanced at the screen door and humored a strong urge to walk through it. Insubordination. Rebellion. The temptation was sweet. His parents judged him before seeking an explanation. It was a reason he couldn't share, however. The ornament promised him beautiful daughters, an affectionate marriage with Megan and the future lives of Ed, Eddy and Nazz. He couldn't tell anyone. His friends would think he's nuts and his mother would book him for the first available appointment with her psychiatrist.
Dr. Schrumpfenkoph was the last person Edd felt like dealing with. The guy ignored anything that was said in order to spout whatever patronizing analysis came to him. He was a most insufferable Freudian mule. Naturally, the ornament would be taken away. Edd might even be shipped away.
"No," he told himself. He would not slip into the night. After fighting with his friends, he had nowhere to go. Ed would forgive him, but Edd would rather suffer his parents than a night in Ed's basement. He couldn't stay with Megan. As liberal as her parents were, they'd never allow him overnight proximity. He paused briefly to savor the delicious thought of sharing a bed with her. Breasts, felt against his body in countless embraces, finally free from her bra. Warm soft skin under cotton sheets. Vibrant red hair cascading over creamy shoulders. Green eyes glinting. Lips parted… NO! NO-NO-NO-NO! He ground his knuckles into his forehead and fought to keep his thoughts chaste. This was one difference from Eddy he intended to keep.
He turned to the table to clear it. "Be but a mouse in a foxhole," he thought. The bowl of garbanzo beans and corn remained almost full. Edd emptied half of it into a Tupperware container and ate the other half from the bowl. Leftover casserole from the previous night sat in the fridge. Edd spooned some of it into the bowl and ate that as well. Regardless of his punishment, he wouldn't spend the night with an empty stomach.
The meeting with the parents was brief. Ken summarized his disappointments over the past day and a half, but followed with a glowing review of his overall progress as a son. Edd was just another employee at a performance review. Other than dinner; there was no punishment. His father adjourned the meeting with a warning, "Make sure this is merely a slip and not a trend."
"Yes, sir." Edd got up and reached for Ken's outstretched hand. Eddy's father played cards or allowed Eddy to help with the grill. Kevin's father tossed a football and let Kevin tackle him. Edd's father shook hands. This passed for affection between them.
Edd returned to his room. Tomorrow is a new day to make up for shortcomings and starve for something more. Edd thought about calling Eddy or Megan, but the ornament coaxed his attention. Edd couldn't stop himself.
-
Eddy and Dana made one last circuit around the house to make sure they didn't forget anything precious. The Rav-4 and trailer stood ready in the pre-dawn light. Eddy and Dana wanted to make decent progress up I-5 before every artery around Los Angeles slugged to the pace of congealed gravy.
Dana set the alarm and locked up. She taped the house keys to the clicker before clicking it and sliding it under the closing garage door. Eddy placed an arm around her waist. They paused; reflecting on the house and the life it used to represent. The studio would have it rekeyed within a day or two. Eddy tugged at Dana. "On to something better."
-
Sarah put her head back on her pillow, frustrated. Her nights were restless since the mudslide. It was far easier to imagine her mortality. There was so much she hadn't accomplished. Her life's work would've been for naught. What else did her existence represent? Ed had her whipped in the family department. Her mother was already beside herself with glee on news of Gloria being pregnant again. The fact she nearly lost her dear sweet daughter barely registered.
Jonny's tall firm build and kind hazel eyes glided easily back into her conscience. She had to admit that he turned out handsome. He still seemed to like her. If it wasn't for Plank, that morning might've gone differently. Ripples of arousal stirred through her as she thought of his muscled chest, stomach and arms. She closed her eyes and feathered fingertips along her sides and stomach; slowly winding a luxurious tingling path toward other regions. She imagined his body pressed against her and remembered his smell. She had no trouble imagining alternate outcomes.
-
Edd recoiled from the ornament. "Holy Hell," he shuddered. He tried to fight himself from wondering if Sarah ever did that while thinking of him. Another thought crept up on him. Megan? He couldn't bear to think it. Edd quickly put the ornament down and distracted himself with his ants in order to cleanse his mind. A long time passed before he wondered if it was safe to look again.
-
Players shambled onto the ice after a 9-1 beating by Chicago. Coach Gillmour was livid. Chi-Town Gulls are barely in the standings and Toronto still had their asses handed to them. The guys knew what was coming. The dry erase board in the dressing room usually featured a motivational quote. Today it read, "No sticks."
To add even more color to the workout, normally silent loudspeakers over the ice played Christmas carols by Etta James, Billie Holiday and Sarah Vaughan. Roy Gillmour looked over his boys as Bill Heinrick placed buckets at the ends of the ice. Kevin regretted his stop at Starbuck's. Caramel macchiato and stomach juices won't be a fun combo coming back up. Jack Yosh lead the charge when Bill's stick came down. Players rocketed toward the ends of the ice while Roy went back to his office. Bill would keep them whipped until at least three guys hurled.
-
"Whatcha' thinking about, Plank? You hardly touched your hashbrowns." Jonny paused for Plank's answer and grimaced. "I don't think so. You saw her reaction. She wants nothing to do with me."
Plank prodded him.
"Sure it was fun. It's always nice to catch up. She was never interested in me, though. Not that I ever did much to charm her. Remember? She used to yell at me almost as much as she screamed at the Eds."
Plank responded.
Jonny shook his head. "Granted, but that was Captain Melonhead. Even then, I had a bigger in with Jimmy than with Sarah."
He got up to clear the plates. "That was then. Frankly, I just don't see it. Let's just enjoy that night for what it was and move on, okay? The universe isn't pushing us together."
-
Megan threaded Cassi's arms through her jacket as the other two daughters also got ready for an outing. Edd and Megan weren't fighting per se, but they were locked in quiet debate. "Is Christmas really the best time for this?"
"How bad could it be? They're only here for a job interview. They'll be gone in a couple of days."
"But, we're not just dealing with them. We're also hosting my parents, Melissa, possibly Miranda, their boyfriends and Ed's family. Let's not forget your mother, which will also involve Lars and Kelsie. It's getting crowded again."
"It won't be too bad. Eddy and Dana are the only ones sleeping over. Everyone else will leave after dinner and presents. We'll have a crowded house for five hours, if even. That's it."
"But you keep adding people! Do you know how much food and work that is? We practically had the entire Saint Lawrence faculty up here last year. You promised we weren't doing that again."
"I'm sorry. I'll stop. Okay?"
"I'd feel better if you'd tell Eddy and Dana to get a hotel room."
"Megan, you know I can't do that."
"Perhaps not, but you could've asked me instead of pulling another 'Honey, by the way' thing."
Edd kept his mouth shut as Megan perched her purse strap on her shoulder and motioned the girls toward the garage.
-
Nazz was very pleased with herself. Her conversation with Eddy led to a devious plan to solve KBAY's staff problems in one sweep. Hold a cattle call and let the cream rise. Whomever makes it, gets the jobs. Impersonal perhaps, but fine as long as someone else could play newsie. Standing around in rain and mud all night was for the birds. She didn't particularly care for the way she smelled after covering a housefire, either.
-
"Ed, what are you doing he--," Sarah was cut off from talking to her nephew as her older brother circled her with crushing arms and lifted her off the floor. "Ed!"
"Baby sister! I heard what happened!" Ed kept swinging Sarah far longer than he should've.
"Aaaagh! Stop it! I'm at work! You're throwing my back out, dammit! Let go!"
"Same old Sarah." Ed chuckled and let her down.
Sarah took a second to catch her breath and thought about smacking him when she realized she had an audience. "Let's take this into the office, shall we?"
Ed and Ed followed her into her office. Sarah rounded on the older Ed. "Why are you here?" Sarah's eyes narrowed. "And this had better not be about casting me as the Gorgon Queen because I will kill you where you stand," she hissed.
"It's not," Ed grinned.
"Congrats. You'll walk out of here alive."
"I saw your car on TV. How did you get out of that?"
"There was another driver behind me. He pulled me into his car and we got out right before the rest of the slide came down.
"Do you know his name?"
"I do, but he wants to stay anonymous."
Ed scratched his chin. "What about your car?"
"Insurance is still processing it. I'm carpooling with Amie until I'm back in my own wheels. I'm actually more upset about my purse and Blackberry than I am about the Honda."
"What'd Mom say?"
"Ha! Nothing. She was too busy prattling on about her next grandchild. Congrats by way."
"Sorry, Sarah."
"For what? You know how she is."
"Yeah." Ed reached inside his jacket and produced a Christmas card. "Before I forget, here."
Sarah took the card and opened it. The inside contained a mushy comic of Santa Ed hugging an elfish alien with Sarah's features. The envelope also contained five crisp thousand dollar bills.
"Ed. No." Sarah handed his money back. "The card is weird and nice, but I don't need your money."
"It'll help with a new car."
"No, Ed."
"Sarah…"
"No. I have my own life, my own job and my own money. I don't need yours."
"Same old Sarah, indeed." Ed shook his head and folded the bills into his wallet.
"Why not buy Mom something nice?"
"Because she says the same stuff you do."
-
It took a while for Eddy to settle into the steady hum of the Rav against the occasional clunk of the trailer tongue against the towball. A few hours of hills and farmland streamed past the car en route to Stockton. They agreed to eat and switch drivers there, though they had to stop several times on the way due to Dana's body deciding to spontaneously cleanse. Being stuck in a car with nausea and hot flashes wasn't her idea of a good time.
Eddy talked her out of switching drivers so she could sleep. All he needed was some extra coffee and he could easily make it to Redding. They paused for an hour to eat and stroll along the San Joaquin Delta so Dana could feel better.
-
Marie stretched and worked the kinks out of her back from her lumpy mattress. She fell asleep reading a trashy novel while waiting for Lee to call. Something was up with the Stooges. They moved the boat to a marina on the other side of Venneford Bay and Lee noted quite a bit more activity. Marie would have to try again. She just needed to know when.
The timer clicked off on Marie's automatic coffee maker. She toed across the cold concrete floor to the sink and washed yesterday's mug. Marie lived a very Spartan life. Her credit wasn't good enough for an actual apartment and her income wasn't consistent enough to pay rent. Instead, Marie squatted wherever she could. Presently, 'home' was a small vacant corner office of the Beck Street Studio Lofts. During the day, she worked various tasks as a part-time maintenance worker. At night, she slipped back in to sleep and raid break rooms for food.
On the weekends, the building was a ghost town. Marie didn't hesitate to take advantage. She had another show coming up at Club Neuf, and she still needed to perfect her routine. After coffee and a leftover sandwich, Marie stripped to boxer shorts and a bra. Then she switched on her boombox. Her newest work was set to a sultry remix of De-Phazz's 'Trashbox.' She got most of the way through her first rehearsal before a loud knocking came from the oak doors.
"Shit."
Marie considered her options. There were no windows or peep hole to see who was on the other side of the door. She desperately hoped it wasn't the building manager, or worse, Venneford Police.
She made a silent dash for her duffel bag and dove into her coveralls and work boots. The combo of her purple lycra bra under denim work clothes was a little strange, but she didn't have time to worry about it. The knocking continued. Marie quickly pushed the mattress out of sight and propped it against a wall. Her other personal things were shoved into the bathroom. She composed herself as best she could and unlocked the doors.
A slender blonde man with blue eyes and a comely smile stood on the other side of the doors.
"May I help you?"
"Certainly, Miss. I run a massage studio just upstairs and your music is a bit loud. Could I ask you to turn it down?"
"I'm sorry." Marie fished for the remote to the boombox and flicked it off. "This place is usually abandoned on Saturdays. My name is Marie, by the way."
"Nice to meet you Marie. I'm Jimmy Keenan. Sorry about the surprise. I don't normally offer weekend hours, but I had to with the holidays and all."
"I see."
Jimmy peered at Marie. "What brings Maintenance in on a weekend?"
"Just working on a plumbing complaint and patching some sheet rock."
"Will this affect my water? I have two hydrotherapy appointments today."
"No. I think you'll be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Just one other question."
"Shoot."
"Have you been in a car accident?"
Marie paused. "I was in a motorcycle wreck a few years ago. Some bozo ran a red light and I had to dump my bike under a mail truck."
"That must've hurt."
"Yeah," Marie sighed. "I loved that bike. Why do you ask?"
"I noticed one of your shoulders is quite a bit higher than the other." Jimmy stepped toward Marie with a business card. "Are you working with anyone now?"
"What? Massage? No. I can't afford any of that."
"I take CANMed, if it's rehab."
"I'm not on supplemental. Sorry."
"Tell you what. Come upstairs at five and I'll set up a table for you. No charge."
"You're kidding me."
"Not at all. It'd be my pleasure."
They said their goodbyes and Marie watched him walk back down the hall toward the elevator before closing her doors and resuming a much quieter rehearsal.
-
The flight to Calgary was uneventful. Most of Kevin's teammates cliqued-off as they usually did and played cards, read, slept, surfed the Web or sat and chatted. In two days, they'd try to salvage some shred of honor against the Cowboys. Then they'd move on to Edmonton and Venneford before ending their junket with games in Anaheim and Colorado. Kevin held his usual seat with Yosh and Farley and they shot the breeze with the Tors' two goalies.
Kevin looked forward to being back in Venneford. An old friend, Parker Darley timed his wedding according to the team's travel schedule. He had great memories of playing hockey together. Parker had a legitimate chance at junior, but his father shot it down. While Kevin and Dean Olson moved on to the WHL, Parker dropped back to house league and worked on getting into a good business school. Those were sad times. He could feel the frustration behind Parker's congratulations when Kevin was selected at the NHL draft. All three should've been there.
-
Eddy kept the Rav moving along I-5 at a good clip. It snowed a few days ago, but Caltrans had the road cleared and dry. Eddy thanked some lucky stars for that.
Dana's stomach finally calmed down. They bought some ginger from a Nugget Market in Sacramento and Dana brewed it in a thermos with hot water. She quietly watched the snowy scenery go by on their climb toward Redding.
"You gonna' do anything about your brother's wedding?"
"Huh? I don't know," Dana looked at Eddy. "We already cancelled."
"Have you called him?"
"I sent him an email. He told me to call when we get to town."
"What about your parents?"
"What about 'em?"
"Thought about kissing and making up with Daddy?"
"You realize that involves leaving you, right?"
"Ergh. You'd think they'd be happier to deal with us with this wedding going on."
"That's cute, but Dad doesn't do the Don Corleone thing. Just because Parker's getting married doesn't mean he gives out favors."
"I wish he did. We could use one."
Eddy tried to cover the uncertainty in his voice, but it bled through. Dana leaned across the seat and snuggled into Eddy's side. "We'll get through this, Baby."
Eddy drove silently for a while. "No regrets?"
"Nah."
-
End of Part Four.