Author's Note: I deliver as promised. Enjoy!

...

Time – 12:00. Wally was late but he at least had made it into town. He sighed with relief; he knew where he was, and he could make it to the theater in no time.

Wally decided to slow himself. If he was already going to show up late, he at least wouldn't show up sweaty. He didn't need to present himself to Kuki as the ultimate turn-off!

As he strolled along the sidewalk, Wally started to think of how showing up a few minutes late could be beneficial. He didn't want to seem too eager to be alone with Kuki, right? Maybe waiting for him for a bit would make her want to see him more…

Then again, Kuki was the romantic type. She would probably appreciate a chivalric guy who showed up early to wait for her. Maybe she would upset by his tardiness. What if she thought that he didn't care about her?

Then again, Kuki could never hold a grudge for long. She would understand if he explained that his family kept him from leaving his house and he couldn't let her know ahead of time… though maybe he would leave out the part about getting lost in the woods and getting chased around by a temperamental squirrel.

Then again, this wasn't even an official date: what if Kuki didn't even care how late Wally was!?

"Pssst!"

A shrill whisper kept Wally's thoughts from going too far. He stopped and looked around. He hadn't imagined that, right?

Sure enough, he hadn't. From out of the alleyway that he had just passed came Ernest, Wally's former associate-turned-nemesis and all-around thuggish bully.

Ernest smirked at him. "How's it goin', Beetles?"

Wally rolled his eyes. He was in no mood for whatever potentially illegal activity Ernest had in mind. "Not now, Ernie."

Ernest ignored the nickname that he was not particularly fond of. He needed Wally for his scheme, and starting a fight wouldn't exactly get the boy on his side. "C'mon, man, just here me out. We used to be friends, right?"

"No." Wally said bluntly.

Ernest rolled his eyes. "Fine, colleagues then. I mean, you were the best matador I had back in the Bully Fights!"

Wally couldn't help but feel his pride swell a little at the memories of him fighting over-caffeinated adults in front of hundreds of cheering bullies. "I was pretty great, wasn't I?"

"That's why," Ernest continued. "I need your expertise for a little side-hobby of mine."

The larger boy locked his arm around Wally's shoulders and led him into the alley. Wally struggled, but there was no getting out of Ernest's iron grip.

"C'mon, Ernie, I've got somewhere to be!" Wally stated. He was careful not to sound like he was begging; bullies fed on the vulnerability of their victims.

"This'll only take a minute." Ernest insisted as he brought Wally to the side door of an obviously abandoned building.

Ernest knocked on the metal door five times and waited. After a brief pause, the door cracked open just a bit. "You a cop?" a voice asked from inside.

Ernest huffed irritably. "Yeah, I'm a cop" he retorted sarcastically. "The heck are ya doin', man, get outta the way!"

Ernest pushed his way through the door, dragging Wally behind him. Inside the abandoned apartment, the first thing Wally noticed was one of Ernest's stooges pushed onto the floor, sneaking a glare at his leader. The second thing he noticed was, aside from a few chair and a small table full of empty soda cans, the apartment contained no furniture. The obvious attraction was meant to be the large ring made of wooden planks in the center of the room. Lastly, Wally noticed several small cages along the wall, containing frightened and nerdy-looking kids.

Wally looked at Ernest bewildered. "What is all this?"

Ernest smiled proudly. "Welcome to the Nerd Fighting Ring!" He gestured to the cages along the wall. "We've been training these dorks in the art of left hooks and wedgies for the past month. Next month we'll be putting 'em up against a bunch of other nerds from another group of bullies. But they're ain't nowhere close to ready yet! That's where you come in."

Ernest glared at the rest of his crew. "These bozos aren't trainin' these nerds as quickly as I want 'em to. I need somebody with your expertise to whip 'em into shape!"

The large bully unlocked one of the cages and pulled a scrawny, bespectacled 12-year old out by the collar. "Whatdya say, Beetles?"

Wally looked down at the younger nerdy boy and thought about how hilarious it would be to see him fight an equally dorky kid. These kinds of kids could get nosebleeds just by bumping into one other, let alone landing a hit on each other! He could see the matches devolving into nothing but slap fights and breaths from inhalers.

Wally tried not to smile; the thought was hysterical.

But the younger kid looked at Wally with pleading, puppy-dog eyes through his soda bottle-like glasses. "Please help us." he begged.

And thus, guilt brought Wally back to a more neutral morality. Ernest could do what he wanted for all he cared; Wally had other places he'd rather be. Namely, at the movies with Kuki.

"You're sick, mate" Wally said as he turned to leave. "I'm outta here."

"Please help us!" the nerdy boy in Ernest's grip begged once more.

"You can't just leave us!" another boy in a caged cried out.

"This is unethical!"

"It's inhumane!"

"I want my mom!"

Wally paused and looked at his watch. It was 12:10. Kuki would definitely be getting concerned by now. But on the other hand, he was a teen operative still loyal to the Kids Next Door. He could practically hear Nigel lecturing about how it was his duty to save kids from peril and Hoagie reminding him that "Nerds are people too" and blah, blah, blah.

Wally sighed. Fine, I'll do the right thing.

He turned back around and approached Ernest, who smiled under the belief that Wally had reconsidered. That is, until his face was met by Wally's fist, and he fell the ground stupefied, releasing the nerdy kid in the process.

Wally turned the rest of Ernest's gang. "Who's next?!"

One by one, the bullies came at Wally and one by one, he took them down as the nerds cheered him on. He didn't know what he hated more: Ernest, the support from nerds, or the fact that all of this crud was making him late for his [not] date with Kuki.

As Wally knocked out the last of Ernest's mooks, Ernest himself got back to his feet. The sight of his fallen gang and the cheering nerds enraged him. He charged at Wally.

"Why you mother-!"

Before he could finish, however, Wally spun around and blocked Ernest's fist.

Wally smirked. "Watch the language, Ernie. There're kids present."

Quite pleased with himself for that one-liner, Wally knocked Ernest out with one well-placed punch to the face. He then turned to the cages where he noticed the nerd formally in Ernest's grip, whom Wally had now labeled the "Leader Nerd", had freed the rest of the kids.

"We are saved, my brethren!" the Leader Nerd addressed to the freed nerds. The nerds cheered even more, and they then turned to Wally and looked at him with adoration.

"You are a most noble hero," the Leader Nerd gushed. "How can we ever repay you?"

Wally felt a twitch in his left eye as he suppressed the urge to give this kid a wedgie. Even Hoagie would tell these nerds to tone it down a bit!

"You're so lucky I'm in a hurry," Wally grumbled as he turned to leave. But before he went out the door, he felt compelled to give the nerds at least a small bit of advice.

"If you guys don't want to end up in another bully's cage, do yourselves a favor: just stop talking… like, forever!"

And with that, Wally set back out for the movie theater.

...

Author's Note: Don't worry, I'll keep this short: I'm alive and I'm going to keep writing this story, if only for myself. I like it. I don't know when I'll upload the next chapter, but it'll come eventually. Thanks for reading.