Chapter Three

All I did for the next few hours were get lectured by all three guys on what I could or couldn't do. In a nutshell – things I could do: nothing. Things I couldn't do: everything.

I couldn't call friends or family, I couldn't leave this house unless it was with one of them, I had to be with at least one of them at all times, blah, blah, blah. To practically everyone or everything, I was off the grid. I couldn't help but wonder what Erin was up to right then. Was she back home? Was she worried about me as much I was about her? Was she even alright? Did any other demons get to her? How weird was it that I actually had to ask that question?

By now, it was dark out. It had to be almost midnight, or maybe even past that. We weren't even allowed to use the lights in the house. Then again, there was no guarantee that this ancient house even had the ability for electricity.

Somehow, they all had a flashlight and were using them to walk around the house. But I was too tired to even think properly. Jensen, having offered to be my personal bodyguard, led me upstairs to where my room was to be. In the dark, I couldn't see the room very well. Maybe I didn't want to, though. It didn't smell all too great, and I swore I could've heard some rustling of rats in the corner. It was probably about half the size of my room back home. Very small, in other words. I found the bed easily – it took over most of the space. The springs inside the mattress creaked as I sat down on it. I took off my shoes and turned to Jensen. I could just make him out in the darkness.

"What about you?" I asked.

"What about me?" he replied.

I sighed. "A bed. I mean, you have to sleep, too."

He chuckled a little and said, "I said I would watch over you, Andy. I can't sleep and watch over you at the same time."

I took out the necklace I'd gotten from them from hiding under my shirt. "I'm protected, remember?"

"That protects you from being possessed. It doesn't ward off demons. Their senses are keener than a mountain lion's. One little shift and a hoard of them will come attacking."

I swallowed loudly and tried to play it cool. "Oh."

Jensen must have momentarily forgotten I was still new to all of this, so he said, "Um, sorry. I just… it's different. I've been surrounded by people who have known about all of this for a long time."

I nodded but I knew he couldn't see it in the dark.

"Anyways," he said, sucking in some air and leaning on the wall. "You should get some sleep. You've got a long day tomorrow."

"What's happening tomorrow?"

"Training. And homework."

"Um," I stuttered. "What?"

"Jared, Jim, and I – we aren't always going to be there. You're going to have to learn how to fend for yourself a little."

Something dawned on me. "How long exactly, will I be… under this demon-watch?"

Jensen took a while to answer. Maybe he didn't know, or he was thinking. He thought to himself a lot. "To be honest, we're not sure. It's not like we can exterminate every last demon on this planet. More will just come back."

I ran a hand nervously through my hair. All of this was just too much. Twenty-four hours ago, I was worried about what I was going to wear and how I would do my hair for the convention. And now, I was worried about if I would live to see or my family again.

"Sooner or later," I said, cutting the silence, "you or Jared or someone is going to tell me why they want me."

Jensen sighed. "I know."

"So then why?" I said. "Why not just tell me?"

"Because it's not like you can change it. It wouldn't matter."

"It matters to me!"

Jensen knelt down to my face level on the bed. I could clearly make out his face now, hovering a foot away from mine. His green eyes looked straight into mine. "September twenty-ninth, two thousand and nine."

I looked at him like he was crazy. Was that supposed to mean something to me? Then I remembered. "What does my car crash have to do with anything?"

"You died."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes shut. "You need to start telling me things I didn't already know. I knew I died. I was dead for two minutes and forty-two seconds–"

"And then in a coma for three weeks after that, right?" Jensen added.

I rolled my eyes. I didn't even bother asking him how he knew all of this. It really didn't matter at this point. "Yes."

"Those hallucinations you saw? The people?" I looked at him now, shocked. Barely anyone knew about those. "The doctor said it was normal for patients who go through as much trauma as you did. But those weren't just hallucinations."

I gasped. "Ghosts. I saw ghosts."

Jensen nodded. "You stepped into two worlds when you crashed – the dead and the living. The doctor gave you medicine to get rid of them."

"I still don't understand why demons are after me, though," I said, trying to think straight.

Jensen sighed, sounding a little frustrated, actually. "When someone dies, where do they go?"

"Um, I don't know. Heaven?"

"Or?"

"Or? Hell?"

"Bingo."

"Are you saying I went to Hell?"

Jensen shook his head. "No. Look, when someone dies, it's not like how everyone says, that the soul flies up to Heaven and lives happily ever after. The soul splits. The bigger part of the soul goes to the place where it is meant – Heaven or Hell. The other piece, the smaller one, will always go to Hell because everyone has a little bit of bad in them, no matter how good."

"Wait, wait, wait. Why does the soul break apart?" I broke in. I was starting to get a headache trying to understand any of this.

"Because. In every person, there's a good side and a bad side. Whichever side is stronger is the part that either stays in Hell or goes to Heaven."

I was quiet for a while, letting this all sink in. For the first time, I began thinking this was all real. The demons, the angels, the soul splitting, my death – all of it was connected somehow.

"You still haven't gotten as to why I'm on the demons' 'Most Wanted' list," I said.

Jensen took another deep breath in and waited for a few seconds to tell me anything. Those seconds felt like hours. "A piece of you went to Hell, yes. But not all of you."

"So I went to Heaven, too, then."

"Not quite. You were, I guess, en route, but were resuscitated too soon. But the piece of you that went to Hell came back too."

"Why is that a 'but' sentence?"

"Once Lucifer knows something is his, he… well, he feels he has claim to it. And since a piece of you entered into his territory…"

I started choking a little internally. I felt like my lungs were shrinking up, and my brain and heart were exploding.

"He thinks he has claim over me."

"Try and guess why people who die and come back don't live for very long. Satan sends his army after them, to get what he thinks is rightfully his. Not only that, but those who come back to life have a more important soul. They're worth almost a million souls. The more souls he receives, the easier it is for him to escape his cage."

"Oh my God," I said, covering my face with my hands. I felt like crying, or screaming, or just about anything. But nothing happened. My body wasn't cooperating with me.

Lucifer – the Devil – Satan – whatever you called him, was after me. Wanting me. Wanting to kill me.

I took a minute to collect myself, and then looked back up at Jensen. His face was twisted with worry.

"How do you know all this?" I finally asked.

He gave a weak smile. "We have our resources. Demons."

"Oh, torture, right." I said coolly.

My mind was racing over the fact that he was touching me. Touching my hand. And his thumb was softly caressing the top of it, over my bruised knuckles from smacking into a wall. I stared at our hands touching for a while, amazed to find that he was real, that I could feel his skin and his heat and his calluses.

Then just as quickly he was touching me, he withdrew his hand and gave an awkward clearing-his-throat sound.

"You should go to sleep," he said once again, "It's been a long day."

I looked away from my now-empty hand and back up at him. "Um, yeah."

Um, yeah? That's all I could think of to say? I couldn't ever be more embarrassed than that moment.

So I laid down on the creaky bed and fell asleep almost instantly. So fast, I didn't even have time to wrap the thin blankets around me. I found out later that Jensen took the blanket from the end of the bed and draped over my unconscious body.

That night I didn't dream, which I was thankful for. I thought that if I did dream, it would be more of a nightmare.

When I woke up the next morning, I was facing the opposite side of the room than the door. I forgot where I was and what happened, so I gasped and sat up when I didn't recognize the area.

"Whoa!" Jensen grabbed my shoulders to calm me. I turned to him. His eyes were only half open and he looked weary.

I remembered everything then and I calmed down – well, as much as you could when demons were hunting your ass.

"You were asleep," I said matter-of-factly.

Jensen sat back down on the ancient chair and shrugged. "I'm only human."

For some reason, I thought that was really funny. I started laughing and quickly covered my mouth, embarrassed.

Jensen just shook his head and smiled. "You sure are an interesting person, Andy."

Out of nowhere, I became very self-conscious. In the mornings, I wasn't exactly looking like Jennifer Lopez. My hair was usually a complete mess, and since I didn't take off my makeup from the day before, I probably looked like a dead raccoon.

"Hey, um," I said awkwardly, "Where's the bathroom?"

Jensen pointed me in the direction and I quickly walked in, fixed myself up, and walked back out. Jensen was waiting there in the hallway.

"Oh!" I said, almost bumping into him.

"Breakfast?" he asked, nodding towards the stairs.

"Uh, no, I'm fine, thanks," I said in a bit of a daze. I couldn't help but stare at him. Even while he looked exhausted, he still had god-like features. Gorgeous green eyes, clear, dazzling skin, and not a hair looked out of place.

I didn't even hear what he said next, so I asked him to say it again.

"Well, Jim's going to go out and buy a couple pairs of clothes for you–" he paused when he saw my face. How could an old dude buy clothes for me? So he continued, "Don't worry, he's got a daughter that is obsessed with fashion. You're in good hands."

I crossed my arms. "Why can't I just buy my own clothes?"

"No one can know you're here," Jensen said.

"Oh, but sending a famous actor out to buy girl clothes is better?"

He shrugged. "He's the one with the daughter. Look, Andy, we don't know how many demons we're up against, okay? We have no clue who's possessed and who's not. So for now, this is what we have to do until we're ready to make a move."

I sighed. "And how long until we 'make a move'?"

Jensen half smiled like he was amazed by me. "You never stop asking questions, do you?"

"Not until I know demons aren't hunting me." I smiled sarcastically.

Jensen replied, "Well we can't kill every demon in the universe, Andy. There'll always be more."

I held my hand up, stopping him if he was going to say more. "Wait, what?! You're saying I'll never be safe?"

"No, I–" he sighed, clearly frustrated. "I'm just saying that we don't know the whole story. We don't know if every demon is out for you, or if Lucifer's special army is."

I covered my ears and yelled, "Stop, stop, stop! God, I want to stop learning these things!" I took my hands back down and said, "Lucifer has a special army? Quite possibly out for me?" I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Andy," Jensen said, putting his hands on my arms. "Sit down, okay? Just sit down." I did as he told me and slid down the wall. He crouched down in front of me, hovering, just mere inches away from my face (which obviously didn't help my hyperventilating).

"I'm sorry," Jensen continued, "I shouldn't keep dumping all this stuff on you. It took me six years to get used to all this, yet I'm still not used to it all." He gave a little chuckle. I tried as hard as I could to not look at him because if I did, I knew I would lose myself.

Next, I heard some thundering footsteps coming up the stairs. I looked over quickly and saw Jared coming up to us. He saw the position we were in and the look on his face was like he just walked in on us having sex. It became incredibly awkward.

Jensen followed my eyes and knelt back a little but still stayed on the ground with me.

"What's going on?" Jared asked slyly.

I still couldn't quite catch my breath so Jensen spoke up.

"Andy's just overwhelmed."

"Right, well… Jim just came in the driveway, so you might want to go down there, Andy. Knowing Jim, he probably bought the wrong size. Try on the clothes and if they're the wrong fit, he'll go out and get different ones."

"I'm sure they'll be fine," Jensen said, smiling at me. Jensen helped me off the ground and was about to lead me down the stairs when Jared stopped him. "I'm sure she can get down the stairs without breaking her neck. You and I have to talk about… stuff." Jared glanced at me and I immediately got nervous.

Despite what Jared said, they both stayed at the top of the stairs to see I did make it down without dying. Once I was in the clear, they turned away. Alone for the first time since the attack, I was anxious to see Jim. But instead of waiting I walked outside and saw him taking bags out of his car. It looked like he bought the whole store. He himself was holding four bags in one hand and two in the other, while still trying to get more out. On the ground there had to be about 4 other bags. And they were not small bags.

I quickly walked up and saw the back only had a few left. "Let me take these," I said, feeling better now that I was with someone.

"Thanks, Andy," he said, grunting a bit as he hefted the bags up a little on his hands and walked toward the house.

Once all the bags were inside I looked into the bags, curious. Jensen was right – the clothes actually looked really nice. There were all different types of clothes and bags and bags of them.

"I didn't know quite what your style was," Jim said awkwardly after we put all the bags in the front room. When I looked at him, though, I knew what he was thinking. I didn't know how long you'd be staying.

For the rest of the day, I didn't really do much. It was the boys (weird how I could say that) that were constantly shuffling around.

Jensen, though, always made sure I was within eyesight of him. Despite the fact we never once went outside the house and I was in absolutely no danger, he still made sure to be close to me. It was weird – yesterday he didn't want to be around me, let alone babysit me, and now he had to make sure he was always near me. Not that I was complaining.

While Jensen and Jim were looking over some papers (I never bothered looking at what they were), I got to thinking about everything back home in Chicago. Erin, my friends, my job – when would I be able to go back? I'm pretty sure I'd be long fired by then, the search would be over for my body, and Erin would be so frizzed out, she'd probably be in a mental hospital. Not to mention the meds for my hallucinations. I'd gone to the convention thinking I'd be home by the evening, but now it was twenty-four hours later.

So with that thought, in the middle of Jensen and Jim whispering to each other, I asked, "When can I call home?"

Jensen and Jim looked up, shocked at the question. They glanced at each other and then Jensen said awkwardly, "The demons could be sitting, just waiting for us to make a move. They could have the phones lines wired for all we know."

Jim added, "It's just not safe right now."

I grumbled and fell back against the peeling wall. "So you want me to stay here, and live like the Amish?"

Jensen put a dumb smile on his face. "Yes, exactly."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling at him a little. "I just – I need… some things from my house." It was embarrassing to bring up, but really – I needed the medication. The things I saw, the dead people, were disgusting and gruesome. It was worse than any horror movie could portray. I really didn't want to go back to that.

"Like what?" Jensen asked.

I could feel my face getting hotter. I'm not sure why I found this so embarrassing. I mean, Jensen knew what happened, and what I saw.

"Just… something," I said.

Jim probably thought I meant something else, because he said, "Well when I went out before, I made sure to stop to get… those things. The bathroom is fully stocked for a few months." If I thought I was blushing bad, he was worse. He went deep red.

"Oh, god, no!" I said awkwardly. "I don't mean those!" Better now than never, right? "I meant my medication. You know, for the hallucin- I mean, for the ghosts."

"You really need those?" Jensen asked. He was fully facing me in the chair now.

I nodded.

"Wait," Jim said. His face was back to normal complexion now. "This might actually work out to our advantage."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Jim looked at Jensen, instead of answering me. "Think about it – if she can see the other side, that might be able to work out to our advantage. They can go places we can't, see things we would never be able to."

Jensen turned to me and looked me over.

"Jim might have a point. You could be our secret weapon. The demons might not know you can still see the dead."

I gawked. "You're seriously debating this? No. I refuse. I won't be your secret weapon!"

"Why not?"

"Because! You don't see the things I do. They're gross and scary, and all-around creepy! They don't look like they did when they died – their bodies are all broken and falling apart. They have… flesh, just dangling there, falling off…" I closed my eyes, trying to forget what I saw all those months ago.

Jensen stood up and walked over to me. "Just think – you draw them in, get them to do what we need, and then boom! Everything goes back to normal. The sooner we can get this whole mess over with, the sooner you can go home. The sooner you can start back on the medication."

"Jensen…" A lump was forming in my throat, as stupid as it was. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get those memories out of my head anymore. Everything was brought back to the surface.

Not only would I have to face seeing all those decomposing bodies, but if what he said was true – that I could go home sooner – that would mean I would have to stop this rollercoaster I was on. Sure, having your head out there for the chopping was scary as hell, but I would never get to spend time with these three guys ever again. It would be like none of this happened.

"No." I sounded more confident than I felt. Call me selfish, but I didn't want to give away my time with them away so easily.

Jensen put his hands on my arms. Heat raced through my body. His eyes looked into mine, pleading. "Please, Andy. Not only would this help you out, but it'll help us, too. I know we haven't known you long at all, but we – all three of us – really like you. We don't want you to get hurt. By eliminating the demons after you, we know you can be safe."

Jensen looked at him at Jim, still sitting. Jim nodded to what he was saying, agreeing. "We just want to help out, Andy. But for this problem to go away, we need a little help from you, too. You have the chance to help."

Just then, Jared walked in from outside. He was doing a border watch outside the house for the past couple hours.

"Dude, why do I always walk in when you two are touching?" Jared asked with a smile on his face. When he felt the seriousness of the atmosphere, he asked, "What's going on?"

Jim walked over and led Jared to another room to fill him in. Looking back at Jensen, I could see it in his eyes. He needed me to do this.

In the old fairytales, you always hear about the damsels in distress. They're weak, fragile, scared – while they wait for their big, strong, Mr. Right to save them. This was my chance to break the cycle. I had the power in my hands to change my story. I didn't have to be the damsel in distress. I could save myself. What would you have done if you knew the best and fastest ways to stay alive was inside you?

I slumped into Jensen a little and sighed. "Fine."