Chapter 4 – Painful Awakenings
With the first brief flicker of his eyelids at the onset of consciousness Special Agent Jethro Gibbs felt his body protest. Not because he tried to move, but because he was breathing.
Every muscle in his body ached and his chest felt as if it was on fire. He could feel his damp clothes clinging to him, coldness seeping through to his bones and instantly making him tense.
As he fought through the barrage of sudden sensations and tried to get his bearings, Gibbs became aware that he was sitting with his hands tied securely behind his back to a chair. He pulled against the restraints, instantly regretting it as pain seared up his wrists and arms causing a growl of anguish to escape from between his lips.
His quick intake of breaths caused further burning through his lungs and chest and Gibbs grit his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut, grimacing as his body reacted to his movements.
When he was able to open his eyes again he remained still, his thoughts instantly turning to Abby. Panic stirred in his gut and he frantically swung his head around trying to see if she was in the room with him. He flinched, feeling like knives were slicing through the base of his skull, his teeth grinding together to silence him from yelling out as he twisted his body to get a glimpse of the entire room.
She wasn't there.
Gibbs didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. He had no idea if Abby had left before his attackers had come bursting through his front door. If she was being held like he was...hurt like he was, he'd never forgive himself.
He tried to remember what had had happened, anything that might give him an indication that she was safe, but his memories were scattered. Still in a daze from what had happened with Abby, he'd been caught by surprise by his abductors and had been unable to get to his gun out from the safe.
The beating he'd received while trying to defend himself had eventually left him unconscious, but how long had passed since then he was unsure of.
If only he'd watched Abby leave his house, he might have some reassurance she was okay, and he might have had some warning about what was about to happen. But he'd been too caught up in his own insecurities, wanting to tell Abby how he felt but too gutless to say the words. The memory that he'd left her waiting in her car in his driveway for as long as he had sent a stab of guilt right to his heart. He cared about her, and he'd hurt her.
By saying nothing when Abby had revealed her feelings, Gibbs could see he'd upset her, and that was the last thing he wanted. His mind had been flooded with things he needed to say to her, but he couldn't get any of it out. So he'd sat there in silence, and possibly pushed her away in the process.
Kissing her had been the only way he could think of to make her to understand he wasn't saying that he didn't have feelings for her, just that he needed time to process what she'd said. He'd never expected Abby to ever come to him and tell him she was in love with him. Not that it didn't make him happy; he just hadn't allowed himself to believe it was possible.
While the bond they shared had always been special, Gibbs found it hard to believe Abby would have such strong feelings for him. He'd struggled with his own emotions towards her for so long that Abby's declaration had startled him as well as sent his brain spiralling out of control about the possibilities of what could be. His lack of response had purely been because he couldn't verbalize exactly what was in his heart and mind.
Keeping his feelings for her a secret had meant Gibbs didn't need to reason with himself and try and figure out how them being together could even work. But with Abby bringing everything to the surface he'd been shown what was just within his reach, and yet confronted by the reality of just what it could mean if something went wrong between them.
More than anything Gibbs just wanted to see her, to hold her and know that she was alright. He couldn't help but worry that his past had come back to haunt him, and Abby in the process. Where would that leave them in the future? If they made it out of this alive, how could they be together if he would be putting her in danger like this?
Trying to calm his thoughts, Gibbs knew he was no good to himself or Abby if he let his worry overcome him. He'd been trained for this, to cope under extreme stress, as a Marine and a sniper. To make it through this alive and get back to Abby he needed to focus on that training, to try and force down all his anxiety.
Taking a better look at himself, Gibbs saw that his only source of warmth were the jeans and grey t-shirt he'd changed into before Abby had arrived at his house. Wiggling his feet, he felt the socks he'd been wearing were still on his feet, glad for the warmth they provided. He remembered the hoodie he'd been wearing had been dragged partially over his head during his struggle to break free, his abductors using it to block his sight and prevent him from fighting back.
As his body began to shiver Gibbs couldn't help but wish he still had the hoodie on. His body seemed to retain a lot of heat under normal circumstance, but right now he didn't feel like he had an ounce of warmth in him. He could see his clothes were ripped and dirtied, leaving parts of his chest exposed to the cool air.
Blood had seeped through his t-shirt and he could feel it had also started to crust over a cut above his right eye. His forehead throbbed, his vision wavering in and out of focus in the eye just below the injury. Gibbs could tell the area was swollen, the mass of skin protruding out into his line of sight from above.
The cuts on his chest stung, with each breath he took inflaming them even more. He could tell from the raw torn skin that some were deep, blood lining the edges, but because the pain was manageable and the blood loss wasn't severe Gibbs held onto the hope that there was no internal damage.
He also wasn't sure if he'd been dowsed with water or merely left lying in the snow but either way, he knew the coldness that permeated him could end up killing him if he was left this way for too long.
Looking up from his battered body Gibbs took in his surroundings. Light filtered in from a small window just below the low ceiling, the walls were concrete and the only other pieces of furniture in the room were another chair and a table with what looked like medical instruments laid out on it. He'd also seen a door behind him when he'd looked around for Abby.
Thinking it was some kind of basement he was being held in, Gibbs tried once more to thread together memories of how he arrived here. He remembered putting up a pretty good fight as three men burst through his front door, all carrying knives and wearing black clothes and masks. While he'd fought them off despite the gashes to his chest and stomach, they had eventually overpowered him.
He let his head fall forward, resting his chin lightly on his chest. Gibbs knew his best chance of getting out of here alive and finding Abby was to get his hands free, and so with his thoughts focused solely on her, he began to struggle against both the restraints and pain, hoping the slight give he felt in the rope wasn't his imagination.
Stopping his actions suddenly when he thought he heard a scraping sound on the wall, Gibbs held his breath, straining to hear. When he heard it again, his heart rate soared, his breathing coming in short shallow bursts. His first thought that it was Abby caused the anxiety he'd managed to calm down to explode again...if she was here, he needed to get her out.
Looking over to the table with the medical instruments on, he could see a surgical knife and knew if he could just make it over there he'd have a chance. Moving was going to hurt like hell, but he wasn't willing to take the chance that she was here somewhere and in pain.
The instant he bent forward every muscle in his body protested in agony. Standing on unsteady feet as his body shook uncontrollably, with the chair still tied to him, Gibbs fought the waves of nausea that rolled over him. He closed his eyes, thinking only of Abby as every part of his body struggled against his will to remain upright.
Opening his eyes he took deep breaths, his thoughts remaining focused on her as he shuffled forward. His left knee could barely carry his weight, the ligament around the joint twisting unbearably with each step.
As he neared the table he managed to turn around, his hands searching blindly for the sharp instrument on the surface. Gibbs knew he had to lunge and reach for it at the same time or he'd never get it, he was also aware that his odds of grabbing hold of it and not falling over were small. But he had to take that risk, for Abby he was willing to do anything, stand whatever pain he had to.
Getting one last look over his shoulder at where the knife lay, Gibbs tried to relax himself and hold his feet firm. Putting all of his energy into reaching out, he stretched his muscles, gritting his teeth as he tilted his body sideways. Trying to grab at the knife in spurts, the angle and actions of his body twisted and intensified the piercing jabs that emanated from within him.
He felt the blade as it sliced through his palm, the stabbing pain making him close his hand around the instrument despite its sharpness. He clenched the thin instrument in his hand, his entire body wracked with uncontrollable tremors in reaction to the exertion.
His lungs cried out for oxygen, his throat aflame as he gasped to stay conscious. Gibbs was sure that sweat was now adding to the moisture accumulating on his chest, he could feel it trickling down his back and his forehead. His body went into a state of confusion, the internal heat that was being generated from within a contrast to the coolness that had him shivering.
Slowly walking hunched over towards the wall where he'd heard the noises, he held onto the knife like it was his lifeline...his and Abby's only means of survival. The weight of the chair strapped to him felt enormous, even though he knew under normal circumstances he'd have no trouble throwing it across the room.
Collapsing heavily once he made the short distance to the wall, Gibbs begged his body to hold on longer against the piercing stabs that shot from his chest and outwards through every limb.
He turned the knife in his hands, trying to cut through the thick material of the restraints. Feeling the skin on his wrists rub and start to burn as it tore, he paused trying to gather his mental willpower to go on.
Unsure whether what he was about to do was the right thing, he cleared his throat and tried to moisten his lips. It may end up alerting his abductors to his attempt to escape but he needed to know if the noises he could hear were Abby.
Turning his face towards the grey concrete wall he called out to her.
"Abby?"
He hoped with everything he was that it wasn't her on the other side, but a part of him still wanted an answer back. To know, one way or another.
Waiting in silence he heard nothing.
Leaning his head against the wall in sheer exhaustion he sighed, his final whispered word before he passed out receiving no answer.
"Abbs..."
TBC...